۫ ּ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗ 𓏲˖ 𑁍 ࣪ ִ ۫ ּ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗
࣪𓏲ּ ֶָ ✩◿𝓓𝓣𝓐◸ 🂱 ࣪𓏲ּ ֶָ
CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR—
september.

A month.

One whole month and there'd been nothing. Sarah didn't leave her room. She let Finney in sometimes and he'd stalk her up on foods and lay around to keep her company, but that was it. Apart of Sarah wanted to be up, go do something to help, but her body and mind wouldn't let her. She belonged here, in her bed, with her tears and broken glass. Luckily, Finney brought her food in glass tupperware so she could break that and take her emotions out on those rather then her hands.

Her parents hadn't seen her in a whole month, they'd hadn't even spoken to her. Ella would sit next to her door and talk to her for an hour, just to let her know she was there, but that was all. Jason would climb up the tree outside of the window at night and look inside, making sure she was okay. He's stare at her for hours while she slept or while she just stared at her wall.

Sarah stared at that half painted red wall constantly. Vance was the one to start to paint that one, he never finished it, and now she just stared at the streaks of red all over the wall. She wanted to believe he'd come back and finish it before long, but it was hard when she missed him so much. Every time she thought about him coming back, it broke her a little harder each time until it felt like there was nothing else to break. Yet, even then, the nothing would break too.

Until all she did was miss him, then it was a constant break that it felt natural.

Sarah left her room for the first time on a Sunday morning. Jason and Ella were both to stunned to speak, staring at their beautiful girl as she looked her worst. She stared at them before she turned and went to the bathroom, showering for the first time in a month came as a second nature for her. She sat in the bathroom for thirty minutes, staring into the mirror as it fogged up and a blur was all she became. A blur in her own eyes, no longer there, just like Vance.

Sarah rose her finger and wrote a V in the fogged up glass. When she did it, she knew where she needed to go. After a shower, her hair wet and in a blue and white baseball tee and black shorts, she left. She told her parents not to worry, but Jason followed her. Sarah had no idea, she had no idea of her surroundings at all. She walked until she stopped at the baseball field and took a B-line toward the woods. Jason knew where she'd be going, and based on the bicycle near by, she'd have someone with her.

Bruce was already there, sat infront of the rock and staring at the carved letters. His eyes lingered on V the most. He wasn't as hurt as Sarah was, but he was experiencing pain like no other. Vance was his friend, he meant something to him, his memories when it was the three of them his favorite onces he'd ever had. He looked back when he heard a crunch. "Sarah?"

She didn't expect to see him there, but to be fair she forgot Bruce existed for the past month. No one really existed to her except for Vance, and when Finney would come to her. She'd even forgotten her parents existed until she saw them, she questioned her own existence until she saw a mirror. Bruce didn't forgot Sarah though, he never could, no matter what. She walked over and sat down next to him, leaning her head into his shoulder.

Bruce didn't think that would hurt him as much as it did, but the second he felt her, he started to cry. That alone made Sarah cry too, his arms locking around her as he cried into her neck and she cried in general. The rock, their rock, the day they felt the closest to each other. The day that Sarah wished she could replay in her head, she held Bruce for a little longer until she crawled from his arms and leaned to the rock, her hand placing onto the V. She tried to grab it, but it was just a rock, all it did was hurt her finger tips.

Bruce put his arms around her from behind, arms locked tight around her waist as his head dropped onto her shoulder blade. Crying made him feel better, or maybe it was just holding Sarah that did it for him. Sarah leaned on the rock like Bruce did her, crying the way he did. That empty feeling amongst a trio was real, and they felt it. Being together didn't do anything except remind them that it was just the two of them now, and that it was just a rock Sarah was trying to hold and not Vance. Bruce knew it too, but if he closed his eyes and imagined Sarah holding Vance while he held her, it did something for him.

Nightfall came, and Jason kept an eye on the pair. Bruce and Sarah sat outside of Grab N Go, shoulder to shoulder with a stale coke betweeen them. It was cold out, their eyes burning and both had their cheeks stained with tears. They were quiet most the the time, but the night sky shockingly comforted the pair of them. Jason let Mr.Yamada know Bruce was okay and that he was with Sarah, then he made sure to keep that promise by watching them both.

"You think they'll find him?" Bruce asked Sarah honestly, maybe looking for her to say yes so he could believe it.

"I don't know." Sarah admitted. "They haven't found Griffin or Billy."

"But, do you think he's alive?" Bruce turned his head, that was his last amount of hope.

"I do." Sarah turned her head to him. "He has to be."

Her eyes looked away when they filled up with pain again, biting down hard on her bottom lip. "I just don't want him to be in pain, or scared. I don't know...I fucking hate this."

"I fucking hate this too." Bruce wasn't a cusser, then again, Sarah wasn't either. "I fucking hate the police."

"Me too." Sarah agreed, even with her Dad on the force. "Like, finding my fucking boyfriend, you piece of shits!"

She leaned back and felt tears fall from her eyes again. She hated crying, she really wasn't one to cry much either. She sat there and let them fall as the wind picked up. "Maybe Billys with him. Like, they have each other. Griffin too....so he isn't alone. Not like Billy was at first."

"I hope so." Bruce inhaled deeply. "I hope they come home soon, Sarah."

He leaned back when feeling like crying again, too. Sarah nodded even though he wasn't looking at her. "Gwen could have been wrong, you know? She could have seen it wrong. Billy could be alive, meaning Vance definitely is."

"I think so." Bruce never thought Billy Showalter was alive until it came to Vance, and then he understood why Sarah held onto hope for so painfully long. "He'll come back to us soon, and make fun of us for crying over him."

"Then we need to get the fuck out of Denver." Sarah shook her head. "Buy a huge house somewhere far. The three of us, and Gwen, Finney and Robin. Billy and Bingo too, and if Griffin wants to come he can."

"Where at?" Bruce gave her a curious look.

"California." Sarah nodded her head. "A big house. With a blue pool, and a bathroom with two sinks in it. Room for Bingo to run around and so you and Finney can play baseball in the backyard."

It was a dream. It was just a dream. Sarah dreamt of taking everyone she loved and putting them far away from here, living their days in a house they couldn't afford, get there with the money they didn't have. But, some dreams were worth believing in. Even if they were unrealistic, they had to mean something. Bruce nodded his head. "California."

•

kylie speaks

hummm, i miss robin
content. i'm gonna go
find robin and put him
in either the next or
the next chapter