Toji feels like god and everyone in this Lowes is judging him as he waits in the hardware store, getting an extra key cut. He has a set, Jin has one and now- a key for Y/N.

He figures it's only fair- the garage isn't heated. It has a space heater in it, but there's no sense in offering the space if Y/N is just going to freeze to death in it. He also has no idea how he's actually going to give Y/N this key without being completely obvious and creepy.

In the end, when he gets a text three days later asking hey can I come over after school tomorrow pinwheel shenanigans? he decides non-confrontation is the better part of not looking like a crazy person.

Y/N leaves the key along with a note- that may have required ten separate attempts to draft: Let yourself into the house whenever, help yourself to the fridge

The kids will be over at Jin's, and thus not in Y/N' hair, which will hopefully allow her to actually get things done. When Toji pulls up, Y/N' car is still in the driveway and Jin sends him back over to his own house.

"She had a key," Jin says, both eyebrows raised, smiling.

"Don't start," Toji sighs.

He detours through the garage to see a crate full of silver, green, and gold pinwheels, probably almost a hundred of them. When he gets into the kitchen, he can hear faint voices from the living room.

"They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters. Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister, but they hadn't met for several years; in fact, Mrs. Dursley pretended she didn't have a sister, because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as un-Dursleyish as it was possible to be." Y/N is sitting in the center of the couch, Megumi and Tsumiki on either side. The three of them are under the blanket they keep on the back of the couch, the kids clutching mugs of what Toji assumes is cocoa.

"The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street. The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too, but they had never even seen him. This boy was another good reason for keeping the Potters away; they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that." Y/N continues as Toji leans against the doorframe.

He has to admit that Y/N is a part of their lives now- it doesn't feel strange to come home to find Y/N reading to Megumi and Tsumiki- it feels right. Y/N feels like family.

He just wishes it was... in a different way, that's all.

Megumi glances up. "Dad!" he cries happily. "Ms. L/N was here and when she was done she said she'd read for us!"

"I picked Harry Potter," Tsumiki adds. "Ms. L/N is going to do voices."

"This is probably not what you expected when you gave me a key," Y/N grins. "But they asked so nicely."

"You don't mind?" Toji checks.

"Of course not," she says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'll start dinner, then," Toji suggests. "Chicken and potatoes ok?"

"Oh," Y/N says, like she's surprised.

"They'll make you earn your dinner," Toji nods at the kids.

"Uhm, sure. Thanks," Y/N smiles and Toji thinks he's lucky Y/N doesn't realize that dinner is just an excuse to keep her here longer.

There is a strategic retreat to the kitchen, and after a moment, the sound of Y/N reading starts up again. The whole meal is basically throwing things in the oven to roast, which leaves him back in the doorway, the oven timer ticking away.

"Stop hovering in the doorway," Y/N insists. "Harry's in Diagon Alley, I strongly suspect Mr. Ollivander is about to give him a very significant wand."

Toji snorts, but Megumi holds the corner of the blanket up next to him. Figuring Megumi is as good a buffer zone as anything, he scoops him up and sits down, Megumi curled up in his lap.

Y/N stares for a second, bites his lip, but then reads on about holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches long.

The oven timer dings as Harry is making friends on the train, and Toji plops Megumi back down on the couch. Y/N pauses and half-stands before Toji waves him off.

"Finish the chapter, I'll get dinner ready." Toji says.

"Thanks, Dad," Megumi chirps in unison with Tsumiki's "Thanks."

"Uh huh," Toji rolls his eyes. He's just finishing dishing up the fourth plate as the kids come running in.

"Perfect timing," Y/N grins, taking a plate and setting it out on the table for Toji. "Mmm, that smells so good."

Toji hates that he memorizes the noise Y/N makes when she takes her first bite.

"I know what Megumi did at school today because I was there, but what does Ms. Harper have you doing, Tsumiki?" Y/N asks.

Tsumiki pauses for a second, the calculating face she makes when she's trying to figure out how to get an extra serving of dessert. It's a face that probably means nothing good for Toji. "My best friend Maki told me her mom has a new boyfriend."

Nothing good.

"Yeah? Does Maki like this guy?" Y/N cocks her head to the side, watching Tsumiki curiously.

Tsumiki shrugs. "Her dad has a new girlfriend too. I think she was happy that her mom didn't feel lonely anymore."

"Um, good," Y/N finally says after a long second.

"That's like what you said about families, Ms L/N ," Megumi says, poking at his potatoes. "Families can be any group of people as long as they love each other, right?" Megumi sounds like he's reciting, slow and deliberate.

"Right, Megumi," Y/N agrees.

"Yuuta said it took a long time, though," Tsumiki pushes on. "For her mom to date someone new. I guess it's hard. Is it, Dad?"

Toji is caught with a mouth full of chicken, which buys him time but somehow doesn't magically give him a response.

"I think people like Toji and Maki's mom want to make sure that that person is right for them, but also right for their family," Y/N says gently, glancing over at Toji.

"Yeah?" Tsumiki asks stubbornly, still staring Toji down.

"Yeah," Toji finally manages. "Because you have to be sure if you're going to let someone be your family. For your family... and for you."

He can't stop himself from looking at Y/N when he's done- Y/N looks thoughtful, frowning a little. Toji has no idea what that means, but there's a strange tension in the air.

"Dad!" Megumi out, nearly making Toji jump. "Is Alisa still doing okay?"

Toji nods. Y/N asks about her too- the awkwardness melts away and dinner goes back to normal. She also insists that because Toji did all the work and set the table that he and the kids will clean up, shooing Toji to the stools at the counter to oversee.

As they're putting the last of the dishes in the rack, Megumi screws up his face into his most puppy-like begging face.

"Ms. L/N, can you read just a little bit more?" Megumi wheedles. "Please?"

"When's bedtime?" Y/N asks, mock serious, but there's already an indulgent smile on her face.

"Not until 8:30," Tsumiki says quickly.

"One more chapter," Toji says. "It's a school night and Ms. L/N needs to sleep, too."

Y/N waggles her eyebrows. "I do. But Harry has to get to Hogwarts and so do we!"

Megumi insists on sitting on Toji's lap again and Tsumiki is sprawled over his side of the couch so that Y/N is pressed right against Toji's side, shooting Toji a sly, calculating look as he stretches out.

Tsumiki is going to be cleaning the gutters.

Y/N "accidentally" keeps reading through the chapter after the one they'd been promised, but Megumi is already out like a light and Tsumiki's head is starting to droop against Y/N' arm, so Toji is fine with waiting them out.

"I wanna be on the quidditch team," Tsumiki mumbles sleepily before she starts aggressively snoring.

Y/N pauses and glances down at Tsumiki, who is fully mashed up against Y/N. "Well, I guess they're both asleep now."

Toji snorts. "You want something to drink? They can sleep on the sofa for a while."

"Um," Y/N thinks for a second. "Maybe just a quick drink, then I have to go."

Toji gets up, putting Megumi back down, stone cold unconscious. "Let me help you get Tsumiki off of you." Y/N gently slides over and up as Toji slowly lowers Tsumiki's down to the couch. When Toji straightens up, Y/N is painfully close- tucking Megumi's arm against herself more comfortably. Toji wants this not to be the end of the night; he wants the one drink to be maybe two, instead- to put the kids to bed and then put themselves to bed down the hall.

"It'll take a minute for the drink," Toji warns her.

"I think I can stay up just long enough," Y/N says, a little smile curling over her lips. "As long as you keep me talking."

Toji raises an eyebrow. "Not usually a problem for you."

Y/N laughs. "Not so much."

"How's your dad?" Toji asks, partially because he does like Eren and partially because he figures it's a safe topic that won't make him want to kiss Y/N.

"He's good, really good. Loved having you guys over for Thanksgiving and you did save us from third-day-turkey-heartburn. He also made fun of me for being boring at breakfast last week. I think he just wants the kids to come out again. I stopped asking him questions about catching bad guys and being a cop when I was nine, he's desperate for a new audience to impress." Y/N grins like she's sharing a joke with Toji. "I promise that if you guys come to breakfast again, we'll get a bigger table this time, no orange juice."

Toji smirks. "You just don't want to change Megumi in the parking lot again."

"I will admit that the table was not prepared for three Fushiguros and two L/Ns- nor the ensuing breakfast foods." Y/N shrugs. "But what man or woman isn't going to risk a little spill for waffles and pancakes?"

"At least it wasn't coffee," Toji says, ironically pouring Y/N' drink, swapping out a glass, which only has about a cup's worth.

"Mmm, there is that. Orange juice is much more comfortable for spills," Y/N agrees. Toji automatically goes for the drink, passing it to Y/N. Toji fills his own glass, putting the bottle back in the fridge.

Y/N hooks a foot into one of the kitchen stools and perches on top, clutching his cup. "Perfect, as always." She hums against the rim of the glass.

Toji leans against the counter, taking a sip of his own glass. "You know, if you guys want to have your tradition, you could both come around on Sunday morning, we can cook here. Only fair after you hosted thanksgiving."

"Yeah?" Y/N looks surprised and pleased. Toji wants to make her look like that all the time. "I'm sure he'd love that. Sounds great. I mean, you'll have to let me bring something, but that- yeah, that sounds... perfect."

"Dad?" Megumi calls sleepily. "Are you going to tuck me in? Tsumiki's feet smell."

"Yeah, a second," Toji shouts back and fights back the urge to sigh. "I'd better-"

"Yeah, totally-" Y/N chugs his glass back. "I should head home, it's late. Thanks for dinner, Toji, the garage- I'll get those pinwheels out of there for you. And um! The key?" Y/N looks at him uncertainly.

"Keep it," Toji says, his voice coming out deeper than he'd intended.

Y/N blinks for a moment, but then bites his lip on a smile. "Sure. See you later, Toji."

Y/N slips out the kitchen door into the garage, cheerfully calling out, "Brrr, it's cold!" and it isn't until he hears the door close that he heads into the living room to put Megumi and Tsumiki to bed.

***

It sort of becomes a ritual- apparently the rush up to break is requiring a lot of large scale crafts, because Y/N is over two more times that week. She insists on ordering and paying for pizza the second time because, "I can't just use your garage and get a free dinner all the time, Toji."

"I don't mind," Toji shrugs.

Y/N watches him for a second, then shrugs back. "Indulge me, then."

Toji has noticed that Y/N seems to pause a lot more- like she's considering what Toji says, what to say in return- these last few weeks it's like Y/N is weighing his options, every time he speaks. Toji knows exactly how he feels, even if he doesn't know why Y/N is careful with him now, measured. But she seems happy to be at the house, happy to be around the kids and Toji

So he's not going to over think it. He's just going to enjoy the sound of her laughing with the kids, still reading Harry Potter; seeing Y/N at the dinner table across from him. They're tossing the last of the grease-stained napkins into the pizza boxes when Toji gets up his nerve to ask a question that's been in the back of his mind all month.

"What are you and your dad doing for Christmas?" Toji doesn't know what he's thinking of offering, only that the kids had raved about Thanksgiving at the L/N' house for a solid week afterward and well, if it makes them that happy, Christmas is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, anyway.

Y/N sighs dramatically. "We're visiting my great aunt- she was my mom's oldest aunt and every year she's 'on death's door' and so everyone else has to come to her."

"Oh," Toji mutters, half to himself. That was an answer that had never even crossed his mind. "Are you going to be gone all break?"

"Most of it." Y/N runs a hand through her hair, leaving it rumpled and too inviting. Toji wants to fix it or make it worse. He's not sure which. "But we'll be back on the 30th, which is good. No one wants to travel on New Year's Eve."

"Well, you should come by when you get back. I know the kids have a present for you." Toji says, aiming for casual and probably falling far short. Y/N' present "from the kids" was a sweater that probably erred on the side of obvious and too expensive- but Y/N was always cold and perpetually depending on eye-searing hoodies that clearly weren't cutting it. A completely practical and non-suggestive gift, all around. Completely.

Y/N eyes light up. "Yeah? Well, I might just have a little something planned for them, too. They won't mind late presents?"

Toji rolls his eyes. "Anything to extend the gift giving season. They'll be thrilled."

"Alright, we're taking the red eye, so that evening? I'll sneak a quick disco nap then come over, bearing gifts?" Y/N suggests.

"Disco nap?" Toji repeats helplessly.

"Yeah, you know- you come home from work, take a quick nap, you're ready to party all night. Disco nap," Y/N insists. "I don't know why no one seems to know this."

"Maybe because no one's gone to the disco in about thirty years?" Toji suggests.

Y/N tosses a napkin at him. "See if I write you when I'm at my aunt's house."

***

Despite the initial rush of excess energy and excitement, within a couple of days of going on break, Tsumiki and Megumi are bored and picking petty fights with each other- lazily, like they're too bored to even do that. Even the idea of Christmas is only presenting in a sluggish enthusiasm. Toji flings them outside to get it out in the couple of inches of persistent snow that seems to appear overnight every day. They come in, cheeks freezing and breathing hard, but that just makes them tired and sulky, rather than tired and happy, like normal.

Toji even tries cocoa, but that just results in more pouts.

"What?" Toji sighs. "I'm not stupid. What's wrong?"

Megumi looks at his mug of hot chocolate. "It's not right."

Toji raises his eyebrows. "What?"

Tsumiki sighs. "Ms. L/N makes cocoa better."

"It's water and powder from a packet, I don't think I can make it wrong," Toji says.

"It just doesn't taste as good." Megumi shrugs.

"You don't have to drink it," Toji points out.

"No, it's fine," Tsumiki sighs again.

"You could ask Ms. L/N how she makes it," Megumi says hopefully.

"Absolutely not," Toji crosses his arms. "She's on vacation."

Both kids sigh and take sips of their hot chocolate like martyrs.

When the kids head out to the living room to watch Avatar, Toji slips out his phone.

mutiny on my hands he sends Y/N.

Almost instantly he gets back ???????!?

I don't know what you put in your hot chocolate but apparently mine isn't good enough anymore

AHAHAHAAAAHAHA ok not telling u now enjoying this new superpower

Toji huffs a laugh, reluctantly.

kids are sulking fyi

have to make you miss me somehow

Toji blinks.

Instead of the most truthful answer- of course we miss you, I always miss you when you're not here- Toji sends her a picture of Megumi and Tsumiki balefully watching Tv.

am I a bad person for laughing at that? this is a trick for my recipe right?

they're ridiculous. Watching Tv like it's a punishment.

keep me posted. If it reaches critical mass I might tell you my chocolate chip cookie secret. but the cocoa is going to the grave

guess we'll have to keep you around Toji sends it before he really thinks about how that sounds, but before he can send anything else his phone chimes again.

holding you to that

Toji can't stop the stupid smile on his face.

He burns through his limited texting plan and resigns himself to a painful phone bill this month, but it's worth it when Megumi and Tsumiki and elbow each other out of the way to see the picture of Y/N running away from a cat.

He's putting Megumi to bed that night when Megumi sleepily asks, "Dad? When is Ms. L/N coming home?"

"She's coming back on the 30th, we can give her her presents then." Toji says.

"Do you miss her too, Dad?" Megumi yawns through half of the question.

Toji pauses, thinking about the frequent dinners and accidental run-ins at the grocery store, the way he instinctively looks for Y/N around the house now. Toji tugs the blankets up to Megumi's chin. "Yeah, Megumi, I do too."

After Tsumiki says goodnight too, Toji takes a beer to the couch and thinks it over.

If Y/N doesn't feel the same way, it'll be a nightmare. The kids love her. But he knows Y/N, and she would never turn her back on the kids. And in the too-quiet stillness of the house Toji can admit that having this much of Y/N but no more is worse than rejection.

And, of course, having made a decision- the decision- it's the middle of the night and Y/N is not here. But having considered the worst case scenario- she says no and is politely distant for a while- it's not that bad. It'd be painful as hell, but just for him. Toji can make the jump if he's the only thing on the line. He feels strangely light, like he's been under the weight of his own fears for so long- toeing some line between acquaintances and friends and something else- that just choosing to accept them feels like letting them go.

Toji sleeps soundly and if he dreams of anything, he doesn't remember it.