Et Flos Villam

The Flower Farm

The class went on with the Course Requirements, explaining exams, the percentage of each work, and the subjects of the essays. The grading will depend on how the Professor saw the work and on whether or not it was clear that the student understood the readings enough for them to make a point in what they wrote. The Class Policies, "no incompletes except in extraordinary circumstances and no cheating or else the student will be expelled according to University Regulations". Finishing up with the Required Texts that the student could either have online, buy in the nearest city, or read from the Library; every book they needed, and much more, could be found in the library just diagonally from this classroom.

Feeling heavy since he heard what questions they'll be working on, Jungkook drew while he listened. With his head held up by a hand, Taehyung's voice slowly eased away the tension in his shoulders, letting him relax.

Stopping for a moment, he looked around at the other students. The majority had laptops, the majority were men, and the majority had their coats on. He even found Jimin with his oversized, black hoodie and beanie in the seat closest to the door, hunched over as he wrote in his notebook. He liked that they were giving this kind teacher the respect he deserved.

It was funny that he thought this given how he was the only one who wasn't writing everything he said. Jungkook watched while Taehyung gestured with his hands as he explained, paying such close attention to their faces that Jungkook knew he would've stopped everything to repeat something someone hadn't understood. He was a different man in the classroom, a different version of himself, so sure in his leadership yet kind and approachable in his methods. What a man. What a beauty.

Jungkook hugged his coat beneath his chin again.

He was surrounded by discomfort while comfort spoke to him not too many paces away. But the thought of letting go had him recoiling in on himself; a tugging sensation in the back of his head warning him against it, against telling anybody, even him. He pushed that thought aside, though, and tried not to think of it.

Halfway across the drawing, he stopped himself when he realized what he'd begun doing.

He had painted a perspective view of the small, wooden stage from where he sat; the tall windows to his right, the long tables to his left going down in a stair-like motion, the stage with the professor's desk and chair, and the dark-green board that could be pushed up to reveal another beneath, he had even drawn the double doors leading outside. But he stopped his pen when he had started to draw Taehyung.

He'd realized once he started that he wanted to have his permission to do it. Such an unusual wish; with any other person, he would simply do it quietly, especially if it was a man. Just like with everything else surrounding Taehyung, however, he found himself wishing him to know he was painting him, to have him still and silent just for him, and, most of all, he wanted Taehyung to feel happy about it, not worried of what would happen if the drawings were to be found, just happy and content.

He knew the possibilities of Taehyung agreeing were small, just like the ones about Taehyung staying with him at all, and yet... There was hope in his chest as he erased the shadowy outline of his muse.

And no sooner had the hope appeared in his heart that questions began bombarding his mind.

His heart was beating fast, his neck tensed over, and he swallowed drily as his foot began to tap against the floor. The need to leave the classroom and hide somewhere dark and quiet rose in him, making him feel trapped and frustrated. He tried focusing on Taehyung's voice, but the sound of his other classmates was distracting as they reminded him that he was being watched. And so, he kept drawing, focusing on as much detail as he could.

- Usually, this class would be three hours long. However, today was only meant for the introduction. You may go. -

The screeching of chairs moving back, startled Jungkook. His head snapped up, letting him see how everyone else was putting their things into their bags, some talking to each other, ready to leave or leaving already. With a frown, he took out his phone from his pocket and checked the time just to realize it was half-past nine, and he knew that his next class started at a quarter past ten.

He had forty-five minutes to speak with Taehyung.

Swallowing and blinking down at his table, he closed his sketchbook and, trying not to falter, pocketed his things as well as his phone. He did it so quickly that he nearly squashed his uneaten breakfast. Then, he stood up, swinging his bag on his shoulder.

Taking his coat from the table, he made his way behind the chairs towards the other corner of the row he was in and then down the long steps directly towards the open door. He had to slow down once he got to the line of students leaving, allowing him to look towards the professor's stage. One glance had him pursing his lips, trying not to smile.

Taehyung was looking at him so obviously that it hurt not to laugh at the nerves.

Wondering what might be going through Taehyung's mind, Jungkook left the classroom. Some classmates left to the right, maybe towards the cafeteria, others to the left, aiming to the east door of the library. Jungkook, however, wasn't walking with any other purpose than to pretend. He looked casually from left to right as he walked to the library in a lazy stroll, then looked ahead of him as the small group of his classmates entered the library and finally looked behind him at the other group, too far to notice anything. Halting in his step, his chest expanded with a deep breath as he allowed himself to grin at last.

Adrenaline kicking in, he ran back to that classroom as if anyone would come round the corner at any second. Once he got to the door, he opened it, got inside, turned around to check that no one had seen him, and then closed it shut as he laughed out of breath.

- Jungkook? -

Turning his head, he saw Taehyung standing from the Professor's chair, looking concerned as he took off his glasses.

- Hi. - Jungkook chuckled a little.

- Hi. - He smiled back at him, but Jungkook noticed that he looked a little nervous.

His smile faltered.

- If... If you're busy I could go... -

- No, no, I'm not busy right now. Do you want to talk? -

But he looked unsure.

- Do you? - Jungkook squinted his eyes.

Taehyung motioned towards one of the student's tables where they could sit side by side. And Jungkook followed.

They sat down, their chairs away from each other. Jungkook put his coat over the table in front of him and his bag on the floor, then waited. It looked like Taehyung wanted to say something but didn't know how to, and Jungkook thought the worst.

Panicking, he opened his mouth.

- I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. -

Taehyung frowned a little, but, before he could talk, Jungkook continued.

- I shouldn't have run away like that. You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry. - He finished with his heart in his throat.

But Taehyung shook his head.

- Don't apologize. I shouldn't have done what I did. -

Jungkook feared he would hear him say it was all a big mistake. He shook his head and grabbed his own chair and moved forward, closer to him.

- No, no, you... You did nothing wrong. - Words failed him. He didn't know how to express himself with the fear holding back his tongue.

What if Taehyung regretted everything? What if the care he displayed was all out of fear of judgment or consequences? No, he cannot think this way, not about him. Taehyung was not like that.

And he looked so sorry, so sad, so worried.

He looked so old that way; as if he carried too much and it pained him to not be able to let himself rest. Completely different from the man he met in that clearing. That one was young and smiling. This one was not.

Jungkook grabbed his coat with both fists off the table and into his lap out of frustration that he couldn't take Taehyung's face in his hands to smooth his frown. If he did it, he might as well have something else to apologize for.

- You don't have to be afraid, I won't do it again. - Taehyung promised him.

But he only said it because Jungkook looked fearful. However, it was not fear of him, and that was what Jungkook couldn't explain.

- You did nothing wrong. - Jungkook said with clenched teeth as his eyes shut tight.

If only they were in that clearing again so he could let his heart be free.

He wanted to tell him how his heart had been beating as fast as a bird's wings when he saw him there, beautiful under the moonlight. He wanted to tell him how striking he was for his eyes, how happy he'd been talking to him, laughing with him, and looking at him. He would maybe even admit how much he wanted to lay down on the grass beside him, or how he hoped the night would never end. He wanted to tell him why he ran. And to show him that he won't run again.

But what if he opens up his heart and tells him all of this, and Taehyung is the one walking away?

Even if he believed he wouldn't do that, this fear was so deeply rooted in his bones that it locked up his jaw, making him unable to speak. So he sighed harshly and blinked his eyes open to look down at his hands holding tightly to his coat. If this fear never lets him speak, Taehyung will leave.

But before he could say anything, Taehyung spoke.

- If I really did nothing wrong, why are you scared of me? -

Jungkook felt a lump rising and stood up, leaving his coat in his chair to turn around and take a deep breath. He could feel his eyes getting watery and raised a hand to scratch his throat.

How come, right when a savior appears, his body betrays him and makes it seem as though he doesn't need one?

Letting go of a very deep breath, he forced himself to speak.

- My fears have nothing to do with anything you've done. - But he sounded on the edge of tears. - I am not afraid of you. - Now he sounded like he was trying to convince the pair of them and grew frustrated; tears falling from his eyes. - You have done nothing wrong, ok? - He ended up whispering so as not to sob.

It was such agony to fight with himself between letting someone in or not that he had half a mind to give up. But it was even worse to think of leaving and not have him by his side.

In reality, he was afraid. Afraid of himself. Afraid of people finding out. After that Taehyung would turn out to be the opposite of what he thought of him because, regardless of how he felt last night, this was a stranger.

Jungkook was afraid of Taehyung because he had the power of tearing his hopes apart in the blink of an eye.

- Jungkook, you sound like you're trying to convince yourself. Please, admit that I did something wrong and accept my apologies so we can move on. Please. -

Jungkook gave a silent, shuddering gasp. He couldn't admit that because it was a lie. And because, if he did, Taehyung will never touch him again. But even if he wanted to tell him and his chest felt like bursting, he still couldn't speak.

Then, he heard a tiny whisper coming from behind him. As if Taehyung had stood up to say this exact secret to him.

- I don't want you to be afraid of me. -

- Please stop. - Jungkook sobbed silently as he put his palms over his eyes.

He heard footsteps going around him.

- Why...? Why are you crying? What did I do this time? Please tell me. - He was right in front of him, Jungkook could hear him, hear the desperation in his voice, he wasn't too close but not far either.

How could this man, who knows nothing about him, care about him so much? He cared so much that he brought his coat, that he wanted to apologize for something he did but shouldn't have been deemed wrong, that he didn't just want to apologize, he wanted to make it right.

- Because... You are too good. - He'd never met anyone like Taehyung, and that was both beautiful and unnerving. His feelings and reactions were all over the place, he felt like running away just like he did yesterday, running from the unknown, from the "wrong", the "strange", but he didn't want to. His heart wanted to stay. The longing, the desperation, the need that had been asleep for so long inside of him wouldn't let him run away.

- What are you talking about? Do good people often make you cry? That doesn't make any sense. - He sounded frustrated and Jungkook chuckled a bit.

- Taehyung--... I'm just--... this is nothing to worry about really, just me and my tears that don't make any sense. - He was trying to smile it off, but it was all too much. He felt overwhelmed, and this was the first time he let himself be this vulnerable in front of another man. It was all too much.

- Every tear has a reason for being there, don't say your tears don't make sense. - Taehyung said, wisely. And Jungkook frowned deeply behind his hands.

The statement had sounded heavy with the truth of experience, and the thought of Taehyung crying brought a sharp pain into his heart.

Jungkook swallowed and willed himself to calm down. There were more important things to say than explaining why he was crying. Like, for example, the overwhelming feelings of happiness Taehyung brought to him in just one night.

With his tears at bay and his jaw clenching and unclenching, he let his hands fall on either side of him. And he saw, with just a glance, that the sight of him brought a line of worry into Taehyung's forehead.

So he sighed again, wishing he could only smooth that expression with a finger.

- I shouldn't be crying, I should be... explaining. - Taehyung frowned deeper but Jungkook continued before he could say anything else. - I wanted to apologize because... because I didn't want to run away. I... - Jungkook frowned. He didn't even know why he ran like that in the first place. - I told you that I was happy, didn't I? That was no lie, I did want to stay. There's just something... in me that made me run away. It wasn't you, you did nothing wrong. - He repeated one last time as he looked up at him intently.

And Taehyung took a deep breath.

- Ok... Even if I still think that you shouldn't apologize for getting afraid of something you weren't ready for... if you say it wasn't my fault and genuinely believe it, then... I guess I'll have to find another way to make you accept my apology. -

Jungkook rolled his watery eyes with a huff.

- Just when I thought you had it. - He shook his head, drawing a wonderful low chuckle out of Taehyung. - Come on, repeat after me, "It wasn't my fault". - Then he waited, but Taehyung pursed his lips with a grin and shook his head. - Come on, say it. - Jungkook said gently with a soft smile.

Taehyung shook his head again but opened his lips.

- "It wasn't my fault" - They were looking at each other's eyes and smiling softly.

Jokingly, Jungkook shook his head in disapproval.

- Say it like you mean it. -

Taehyung laughed, eliciting a warmth from Jungkook's chest that wrapped around him like a hug.

- It wasn't my fault. -

Jungkook felt hypnotized by his eyes. Something about them, not only the color or the shape but the feeling behind the stare made him feel... appreciated. Just like last night.

He wanted to get closer.

He blinked, waking up once he felt a pinch in the back of his head as if warning him "be careful". Looking away, a bit embarrassed as he hugged his middle, he felt like Taehyung should've told him something to stop him from gazing at him like that, just like Leo tells him whenever he gets too close. But then he realized what he thought didn't make any sense and looked up again.

Taehyung wasn't like Leo.

- You-- You were going to say something else, right? - He stammered a little as he tried to hold his stare again but without daydreaming this time. Yet there was a slight burning in the pit of his stomach that felt like nerves.

Taehyung smiled a bit gentler than before and took a deep breath.

- Yeah. I was going to say that it wasn't your fault either. -

Jungkook frowned at him, hugging himself even tighter.

- But... I just told you it had been my fault. - He was going to elaborate, but Taehyung cut him off.

- No, Jungkook, what I'm hearing is that it was something "you couldn't help"; something that was taught so consistently that your body followed what your mind hadn't caught. It wasn't you. You aren't who you are because of what you are taught, you are who you are because of what you choose to do with those teachings, and you said yourself that you wanted to stay. What you want to do, is the real you. - Slowly, his smile dimmed as his head lowered until he looked sad once more. But not because of Jungkook.

Jungkook bit his lip inside his mouth. But it still trembled. He just heard his own thoughts coming from Taehyung's lips; the first person ever who understood what he couldn't put into words. His eyes burned anew and his cheeks got wet again, but this time he didn't turn his back on him. He didn't need to hide from him.

Jungkook looked blurrily at the floor and swallowed so he could speak.

- No one else would've understood... No one had ever believed... - He hugged himself tighter, trying to control his voice. - Any time I tried to explain to others I had done something because I couldn't help it, they never believed me. But you--... No other person would've said that it hadn't been my fault. No one had ever been so kind... I do have friends but... - He shook his head- ...you just... - He covered his face with his hands, unable to continue. - This is too much. - He took in a deep breath, grunted, and dragged his hands against his face to dry it in frustration.

Jungkook was a mess of feelings and thoughts. It was all so frustrating that he couldn't understand himself at all.

Then, quite suddenly, his wrists were grabbed and he froze.

- Please, don't be so harsh on yourself. -

Jungkook opened his eyes and saw the gentleness in which he was being restrained. With only the tips of Taehyung's fingers holding him, he couldn't move. He had taken him so lightly that it couldn't possibly be because he wasn't allowed to touch him, but because he didn't want to startle him again. He didn't want to scare him away again.

Jungkook looked up at him with tiny tears in the corners of his eyes and Taehyung's breath hitched when he looked at him. But then he smiled.

- If ever you're at fault, I'll tell you. Just like I know you'll tell me if I was. But it also works the opposite way. In this, we both told the other neither was at fault, and we accepted it. Now... I hope I can tell you to be gentle with yourself and that you will, just like I will if you tell me to. Ok? -

Jungkook looked at him with the eyes of someone who couldn't believe the sun that shined in front of them, for they had only known darkness. And smiled.

- Ok. I guess that would make us friends, wouldn't it? - He chuckled, feeling strangely good after he'd claimed him at last, and Taehyung smiled too, still holding his wrists with a feather-like touch.

However, although Taehyung's eyes looked as shiny as the night before, after he'd given him this title, they seemed to shine differently.

They weren't getting brighter. They were getting glossy.

Jungkook's smile turned to worry when Taehyung's lip trembled. His own hand freed itself from its hold to reach forwards. But, before he could reach his sad, beautiful face, his breath hitched and his hand fell halfway onto Taehyung's shoulder. Something that, even if innocent, made Jungkook's heart change rhythms.

Taehyung cleared his throat and looked up at the ceiling, blinking fast as he lowered both of his hands, freeing Jungkook's other hand just as gently as he'd grabbed it.

- What made you sad? - Jungkook whispered; his heart in his throat.

- I'm not sad. - Taehyung chuckled softly, shaking his head as he looked down at the floor. - It's simply that... I haven't had a friend in a long time. - He admitted with a deep sigh and looked at him again.

If he wasn't so preoccupied with keeping his emotions in check, Jungkook would've started crying in anger. To think that Taehyung could ever be left out by his colleagues made him hate this world.

He felt so angry for the ones who pushed him aside and sad at the sight of Taehyung's relief. He felt so happy that he made him happy and so confused as to why there weren't crowds of people wishing to be close to him. He felt so much agony and elation at the same time that all he wanted to do was to hold his face and repeat gently how he will never leave him.

The hand on Taehyung's shoulder fell as it balled into a fist.

But Jungkook wouldn't let his body win today.

- Would you like to talk a bit more then? - Jungkook suggested with a tiny nod down at their seats and a little smile. And Taehyung returned it.

- Of course. - He answered as he neatly went back to his seat.

Jungkook felt a caress of air against his cheek and he inhaled it, taking in the wood-like scent he'd caught on his coat. His heart did that same little jump from that morning and he followed, grabbing his coat and seating down as well.

- So, Jungkook–... - Taehyung stopped himself and closed his eyes. - That sounds like the beginning of an interview. - He laughed, shaking his head.

- Shall I start? - It felt weird to be himself with another. But it felt natural when he spoke to him.

With a nod, Taehyung leaned back comfortably on his chair, his hands folded on the table, and Jungkook said the first question he thought of.

- How old are you? -

- Twenty-eight. And my birthday is on December thirty. - Taehyung answered with a gentle smile. Looking like he wished to answer him fully.

Jungkook smiled as well, but his mouth opened a little in amazement.

- Twenty-eight? - The surprise for him to be older than he thought, disappeared when his eyes snapped up to the ceiling and his brain started doing the math. - Well, it makes sense since to be a professor here requires both a master's and doctorate degree which takes seven years more or less; adding that to university, which would be three years if you studied in England, that's ten years. You began university at eighteen? With no Intensive school before uni? - He looked back down with amazement in his eyes.

Taehyung was looking at him without a word. Then, he began breathing again.

-Wow. - He said with emphasis, making Jungkook laugh. - That was... fast. How did you...? - Words were failing him and he chuckled along, nodding. - Yes, yes, you're right. Thanks to my grades at school, I didn't need to go to an intensive school to enter a university here, just the entrance exam. And you? - His laughter died down as his eyes turned softer again. - Aren't you twenty-one? -

Jungkook smiled widely.

- Yes. How did you know? -

- Well, you mentioned Intensive schools which take about two years; if you graduated at eighteen in summer and entered an Intensive in fall, then you would be entering university at twenty-one. That and Oliver told me. - He finally admitted with a sheepish nod.

Jungkook laughed again, feeling something unknown in the pit of his stomach. It was as if this happiness was something he'd been longing for so long that the relief was too much for him and it made him sad.

- "Wow". - Jungkook answered with even more emphasis, making Taehyung smile so wide and laugh so beautifully that, for a second, he almost teared up at the sight and sound of it. Jungkook shook his head and brought his coat to his face, hiding his laughter. - Ok. Where are you from? - He changed his position to a more comfortable one while still grabbing his coat.

- South Korea, Goseong City. -

Jungkook's eyes widened again. But, before he could say anything, he noticed how Taehyung's smile turned nostalgic; like the expression he had when Jungkook had found him with his eyes closed last night.

And without needing to be asked, Taehyung began telling him.

- I grew up on a farm. A flower farm. And there were all kinds of flowers. - He looked in front of the table like he could see them there in full bloom. - Roses, Orchids, Irises, Tulips, Daffodils, Lilacs, Sunflowers, Gardenias, Daisies... - He sighed. It was like Taehyung was talking about a loved one he untimely lost. - My mother was the boss of the "touristic" part of the place. She had an idea to make opening the doors for everyone advantageous to us, and she made it, all by herself. My father, one of my proudest role models, was the boss of the farm part of the place which he inherited from my grandfather, my other role model. He was the one making the deals with other companies; mostly things to do with perfumes and wedding venues. -

- The workers of the farm were like an extended family to us. We had a huuuuge wooden table that my father had made with my grandfather when he was younger for the main purpose of seating everyone at that table. And so, every morning before I went to class with my brother, everyone was there, and every night as well. And every morning we talked about the crazy dreams we had the night before, and every night we talked about the crazy things we did that day... My friends used to say I smelled like flowers... - Taehyung chuckled softly at the beautiful memory, and, finally, the tears his lashes had been holding back, fell silently down his soft cheeks.

Jungkook's body finally gave in. He put both feet on the floor, moved his chair closer, and, just when Taehyung turned his head to look him in the eyes, he lifted his left hand. As softly and tenderly as he could, he placed his fingertips over his cheek and caught the tear rolling down his face. Just like Taehyung had done the night before.

He slowly let out a deep breath as his eyes stayed glued to the place where his fingertips connected with cold skin and tried not to panic.

His skin had not set on fire, his hand had not fallen off, no alarms had turned on, no police were breaking down doors or windows, in short: No hell had broken loose. Why had his body been so afraid before? Taehyung hadn't reacted badly at all, he hadn't even flinched away, he simply looked taken by surprise.

Jungkook blinked. This wasn't so bad. He liked this contact. He liked this sensation, it was different from touching Emily or touching Leo by accident or even touching himself. As he looked at where the place his fingers touched Taehyung's face, all he could think about was that this felt... good.

His eyes shifted to Taehyung's and saw the sorrow within them. With a penetrating feeling like his heart had just been hit by an arrow, Jungkook spoke.

- You are a flower. You were always under the Sun of happiness and showered with love, how could you not have bloomed so beautifully? - Beautiful, beautiful, Taehyung was truly so beautiful that he wanted to tell him exactly how, to serenade him with the truth his eyes saw every time he looked at him, to write poems and whisper them into his ear until no sadness remained in such angelical man.

But hearing himself speaking his heart was startling to him who had never done it as raw for he had never felt as enthralled. His breathing caught in his throat even if he'd meant every word he said. And his hand had turned to stone, even if his fingers could tell he was as soft as he thought. Warnings ran in his ears, but he locked his jaw, keeping away any fear. He won't run today.

Taehyung pursed his lips as another tear fell, and then another, and another. He shook his head, making Jungkook's hand let go of his face, and closed his eyes, placing his palms over them. He wiped away his tears until he was completely dry and, when he revealed himself again, he was slightly red around the eyes. But he looked beautiful, even when he was sad. And Jungkook's fingertips found their home.

The sensation and reactions were both intriguing. He'd never been exactly gentle when craving physical contact before. With Emily, it was survival; he would take her hugs like an inhaler. When he needed her but she wasn't near, he would wait until he couldn't anymore and seek a fist fight. But this, this was not survival, this electricity, this adrenaline, this tingling feeling flowing down his scalp, this fluttering and burning in his stomach, this pull for more, to be closer, to hide away with him so he could feel his heart beating even faster; this was living, and he wanted more.

Taehyung's refusal to move away made him feel connected. His shining eyes made him feel seen. His tiny smile made him feel special. And such tenderness, such intimacy had been exactly what he'd been begging for every time he would scratch his skin. He needed love.

And what would be more lovable than a man who grew up surrounded by such kindness?

Right then, he remembered that this touch, this feeling he was allowing to grow in his chest was supposed to be illegal; that the fact that he wanted this touch meant he was sick in the head and should be restrained for others' safety. But then, why would the cure for his violence be the reason for his violence?

He could feel his own heart beating fast and hard, he could feel the air filling his lungs and the oxygen calming his body, he could feel peaceful... and all because of one little touch.

- Can I be selfish for a moment? - Taehyung's voice was low and filled with gentle uncertainty.

Jungkook took in a deep breath, reconnecting with the present, but his smile never faded as he answered.

- Of course. -

He found it a bit funny. Now that he thought of it, he felt like he'd been the one being selfish. But after seeing Taehyung chuckle silently at his answer, he found that... seeing him enjoying the same thing he was... seeing him happy... warmed his heart far more than touching him had done.

Right before Taehyung could do what he'd intended, Jungkook got curious about something. Taehyung's enjoyment made him wonder. So, very lightly and tentatively, he brushed his thumb against his cheek as if catching a tear, caressing his soft skin as he'd dreamed he would one day do to someone else. And when Taehyung took in a sharp, little breath, he smiled.

Taehyung smiled back at him and lifted his hand towards the back of his. Jungkook saw the movement, following it with his eyes as his breath got caught in his throat, knowing that, when he touched him, it would feel as soft as flower petals.

The tips of each finger touched the back of Jungkook's hand, stopping to make sure he could continue. Jungkook looked back at his eyes and felt the gentle way in which he pressed his palm against the back of his hand. Taehyung was looking at him intently, trying to see any discomfort in his eyes, worried that he might be doing or asking too much. But Jungkook let go of his breath and gave him a little smile. And Taehyung finally pushed Jungkook's hand down against his cheek so his whole palm would be holding him.

Jungkook's smile vanished and his breath got caught again. But he didn't flinch away.

Trying very hard not to tremble, Jungkook forced himself to balance all the overwhelming feelings that roused up once more, desperately wishing he could find peace again. But this touch was different, not so little, not so easy to take in. He could feel the corner of his lips against the edge of his palm, feel the soft strands of his hair brushing against his first two fingers, feel his earlobe against his pinky, and he was trying very hard not to move. He knew his body was in fight or flight even though he knew he wasn't in any danger and it was all because, even if it had been soft and slow, it felt sudden.

Taehyung was not the problem. He knew his wishes were not out of proportion given how Jungkook had just been a movement away from touching him like this, so Jungkook breathed out and then in very slowly. The last thing he wanted was for him to believe he did something wrong again when he hadn't. On the contrary, he had done something so incredible that Jungkook's body had panicked.

The flow of adrenaline that had flared up in him was incredible, something he had never felt in such a lovely and non-harmful way. He was trying to control it, trying not to fall into it and make a mistake. He needed to remain calm or else he feared he might scare Taehyung. He wasn't the only one affected by this touch. He wasn't the only one trying to breathe evenly.

Jungkook noticed too late that his other hand was nearly strangling his coat on his lap and his back was tense and straight. But, if he tried to calm the rest of his body, he would get distracted from controlling his feelings. His smile had faded in his worry and he worried, even more, when he thought of Taehyung's wish of holding him like this. If he moved, he would take away his wish. Jungkook didn't want him sad just like he didn't want to see him hurt. But Taehyung's smile had also faded, looking as troubled as he felt.

Had Taehyung perhaps wanted him to hold him as much as Jungkook had? Had he been wishing this since last night? Is he, just like Jungkook, wondering about the illegality of this meeting? Or worrying about it?

However, Jungkook's questions were hushed when he felt a little nudge against his palm; a little nudge; a little pressure. And when he noticed Taehyung had tilted his head ever so lightly against his hand to calm his own thoughts, Jungkook couldn't help but smile gently again.

What a beauty. What a miracle. Had Jungkook suffered so much for so long because he'd been destined for far greater joy than he ever dreamed of? He doesn't exactly believe in fate, but...

But... If this was supposed to be his happy ever after... why was it impossible?

It was impossible. It was illegal. It was said to be a mental illness, a sickness of the brain. If he acted on it, far more than they had done already, a prison cell will be the least of his concerns. If he acted on his impulse to let go of his coat and reach up with his other hand and–... and someone finds them... and someone records them... they will get killed.

Gently, he brushed his thumb against the soft skin under Taehyung's eye. He smiled at him, enjoying it. And Jungkook smiled back, feeling the heaviness in the back of his throat that he knew meant tears of despair. But he kept them back there, focusing on the absolute beauty that was making someone so important feel so happy.

He wanted to cry. Oh, how he wanted to dissolve into nothing but sadness. How he wanted to surrender to the weight of despair and never stand up again in fear of finding happiness that he knew would get ripped away from him in some way or another sooner or later.

He wanted to cry because he finally found him. And he wanted to cry because he knows he'll lose him.

But a little voice deep in his heart screamed at him to stay strong. And, quite suddenly, he was back in the present; the beautiful, fairy-tale, danger-free present where he was happy and whole and he couldn't worry about anything other than the Angel in his hand.

As long as no one else saw and no one else knew... why not?

He saw and felt Taehyung moving as he took in a deep breath and then felt again the softness of petals against the back of his hand as he let go of him.

It took a second for Jungkook to accept that time couldn't be frozen, and then he lowered his hand as well, caressing Taehyung's skin one last time before all physical contact ceased to be.

- Thank you. - Taehyung said with gratitude that Jungkook has never heard from anyone else. He smiled and Taehyung smiled too, and the tension he felt before, left him just as quickly as it came.

Jungkook took in a deep breath and placed his elbow on the table to hold his head as he watched him dreamily.

When he didn't answer, Taehyung chuckled low, averting his eyes for a single second before looking back at him.

- This is where I ask you something, right? - He smiled sweetly, quite obviously trying to look as though he wasn't wishing to prolong their time together. And Jungkook nodded with a smile. - Ok. Umm... I can't think of anything. Where are you from? - They chuckled.

- I'm from London. - Jungkook shook his head trying to convey how uninteresting that was. But still, Taehyung looked at him expectantly, so he tried to elaborate. - South Buckinghamshire in the town of Gerrards Cross. My house was on Stonyfield Rode, it was a big house with a big courtyard... - He shrugged, there was really nothing interesting he could think of. - We moved to Bradford when I was twelve when my parents--... When my parents... changed jobs. - He looked down and, after a moment, shook his head and looked back up at Taehyung. - There's nothing interesting I could tell you, there was nothing fun, I mostly stayed in my room and when I went out to take a walk I was in my head so... nothing that good. -

Taehyung moved then, positioning himself just like Jungkook was, with one elbow on the table, his head on his fist.

- Then... you could answer the question you didn't answer last night. - Taehyung said low, and Jungkook lifted his eyebrows, unable to remember said question. - Why did you decide to study philosophy? - At that, Jungkook finally remembered, and nodded, taking a moment to organize his thoughts to answer.

- Well... There were some books in my room... - He looked back up at a very concentrated Taehyung and took in a deep breath. - When I was little, my room had a huge bookshelf filled with all the books that couldn't fit in the one in the living room. It had my grandparent's books from when he was younger; he liked philosophy and all that was right and logical. - He shrugged.

- So he taught you how to love philosophy? - Taehyung asked, already smiling.

But he didn't know that, between the two, only one grew up in a fairy tale.

- No, I never met him. He died of overwork before I was born. -

Taehyung's precious smile dropped and he seemed worried. But there was not a trace of sorrow in Jungkook to be found, he'd barely seen a picture of the man, barely heard any stories about him, it was as if he had never been with how absent his name was from his son's lips, which would be Jungkook's father. Even his books were simply put away with Jungkook.

The only kind of sadness Jungkook had ever felt towards his grandfathers (since both had the same end) was that he didn't have any. But that could be said for his whole family.

Jungkook frowned at the look of worry in Taehyung's eyes and tried to keep going so they could just move on to some better topics.

- I just started picking them up and opening them. One day when I had been locked up in my room--

- You... Who locked you? Yourself? - His worry visibly mounted.

And this was going horribly wrong.

Jungkook's dislike of the conversation was mounting as his shoulders rose.

- No, the maids. They had the order of locking me up every time I–... -

He stopped the moment Taehyugn started shaking his head slowly. It was uncomfortable to be looked at with so much pity that he started to feel undeserving of the spot beside such a flower as Taehyung.

Wishing him to stop, Jungkook looked away and asked in a small voice,

- Why are you looking at me like that? - He wanted him to smile at him as he had done just a minute ago, to be looked at as if he was special, not like he was a pitiable thing.

Taehyung answered, and his voice was careful like it would be with someone hurt.

- Because... they kept you locked up in your room. How old were you when it started? -

Jungkook was seriously fighting back anger. He hated being weak or being treated as such. He didn't want to have to walk on thin ice with Taehyung, but he didn't like his reaction.

Still looking away, Jungkook tried to answer.

- Eight, I think. - The moment he looked up and saw Taehyung with a hand on his mouth, he got defensive. - You know what? If it makes you so uncomfortable I can just tell you what my favorite color is and be done with it. - He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, not letting him talk before he continued with a frown. - Maybe it wasn't a custom where you grew up, but over here, it is quite common to lock children up, you know? - He had no idea if this claim was true but it made him feel better to believe it. And once he said it, he turned his face away, visibly mad.

However, deep down, he knew he wasn't mad, he was just... feeling too vulnerable. It's different from crying in front of him, it's different from feeling overwhelmed, these were things he rarely, if ever, talked about with his friends. There were many topics within them that they made taboo without agreeing on anything, one being Jungkook's life at home, so, if he ever mentioned being locked up, his friends would simply not react. So... when Taehyung did react... and reacted badly... It made him remember that it was indeed kind of a "not so good" thing, and he didn't like to think of it that way.

One thing is to say in the general sense that this life had been horrible, another is to think back on horrible things that had happened in his life. And, for good measure, he didn't like to say either out loud.

- No. Jungkook. - Taehyung got closer to him to try to catch his eye. But Jungkook looked away resolutely, not wanting to see his worry again. - Look at me, please. - Taehyung asked softly. Jungkook's frown disappeared, but he still wouldn't move. - Jungkook. - Taehyung whined a little. Jungkook blinked, very nearly grinning, and moved his head towards him while his eyes kept looking away. - Please, forgive me. I should've stopped when I saw your displeasure. It's just that... I imagined a little eight-year-old you being locked up and it made me... - He stopped talking, and Jungkook thought so strongly that he was about to say "angry" that his eyes looked down at his lap, his heart moved by Taehyung's protective instinct. - I'm sorry. Could you forgive me? I still want to hear all about you. -

His voice was so close... His voice was so low and gentle and it soothed him in a way only soft instrumental music could. It was so hard to stay angry by his side, so hard to stay defensive when only a few words could disarm him. Jungkook softly lowered his arms, and then looked up in a blink.

Taehyung's breath caught just like his and they were both stunned for a second or two.

They were so close. Their faces were only ten fingers away from each other and Jungkook could see very clearly the little mole under his left eye, the little scar right on his chin, the gentle way his lips were shaped, and the sharp lines of his eyebrows. It filled him up with excitement to be this close to him, it filled him with happiness to see him just as affected; there was truly nothing that could feel better than seeing Taehyung enjoying something, being excited, or looking happy. Even if right now and this whole morning he hadn't seen him entirely happy, seeing him enjoying the moment was enough.

And hearing him talking so low, so gentle, so close to him...

He wanted to hear it again.

- Ok. - He accepted his apology without thinking it too much, speaking in a near whisper after neither had moved away. But when Taehyung didn't say anything more, he whispered again. - I... know you want me to keep going but I... would much rather you told me something instead. - He saw just as Taehyung's eyebrows pinched together and realized his refusal to keep talking might've made him feel as though he didn't entirely forgive him, so he hastened to explain. - It's not–... I just–... - He sighed and looked away. - I just want you to keep talking. Your voice sounds rather nice. -

Finally, Taehyung chuckled and Jungkook felt his face heating up.

- "It must be your voice" didn't you say? - Taehyung reminded him and Jungkook grinned a little. - I've never had anyone who liked my voice. Or anyone who would describe it as you had. - His voice was even gentler and low, touching Jungkook's heart so deep even his soul stirred.

Jungkook chuckled silently.

- Nice to know my honesty is not only new to me. -

Taehyung let out a deep breath.

- It would be nice to know exactly what you mean by that. But, since you granted me a wish, I feel obliged to speak. - When Jungkook heard he was grinning, he grinned as well. - But, what to tell you? I have so much to tell you, so much more than my favorite color. I've already told you where I come from but not how I got here. Mh... Thinking about it, I feel it's best to leave that for another time. Better leave the sad stories to a minimum. - Jungkook looked up, trying not to display the sudden worry he felt, but once he saw him smiling at him, nearly gazing at him, he calmed back down. - I can't think of anything right now. - He sighed as he continued to look at him, at the waves on his hair, the line of his jaw, then back up at his eyes. - Do you have any ideas? What would you like me to tell you? -

Jungkook's brain had stopped momentarily. After hearing his question, he punched the accelerator and his thoughts got jammed on the way to his mouth.

- A, umm, childhood memory? Like... on the farm... laying on a rosebush or something? I don't know. - The second he realized how dumb his suggestion sounded, he wanted to kick himself. Laying on a rosebush? A rose bush? Even Taehyung grimaced a little when he heard it, no one in their right mind would voluntarily lay on a rosebush!

Appalled with himself, he bent forward and laid his head on his folded arms, resting them on the table. But Taehyung didn't let him go that easily, he bent forwards as well to rest his head over his fist again.

- Only once did I land on a rosebush, and let me tell you: worst pain ever. -

Jungkook lifted his eyebrows, amazed that his dumb question had actually worked, and immediately wrapped in the conversation.

- What happened? - He asked.

- Oh, I was young and dumb, of course. - Taehyung grinned, making him chuckle. - I used to climb up every tree I could and there was a particularly comfortable looking one right on the edge of where the roses started. I was told not to try. I tried. And because my mother can see the future, I fell just like she said I would. - Jungkook covered his mouth, laughing and worried at the same time. - It was... terrible; I still remember it vividly. I was literally stabbed by multiple little and long stems, I was stuck in there until they heard me, found me, and cut away the roses near me to get to me. And they couldn't just lift me up either, there were branches stuck to me by the stems. They had to put me on the table and hold me there to take them all out. This arm was the worst. - He lifted his head and showed him that same arm he'd been using. - I thought the pain would make me faint but the worst thing is that it never did. - He chuckled a bit.

But Jungkook frowned and lifted his head to take hold of Taehyung's forearm and foolishly tried to lift the sleeve of his suit jacket only to find the sleeve of his shirt. Once he did, however, he felt sheepish.

But he didn't let go.

- You understand now? - Taehyung asked him in a near whisper. Jungkook looked up then and found him smiling gently. - The worry you just felt was like my own. You even tried to see if I had scars that still hurt me when this story happened when I was twelve years old. - Jungkook felt heat rising to his face again and looked down. - No, don't worry about it. I just wanted you to understand that it hadn't been my intention to react the way I did; it was instinct. It's truly ok. -

Jungkook glanced back up and found that he couldn't look away. Could it be that he liked the way Taehyung made him feel or was it that he liked that Taehyung liked to make him feel anything at all? Could it be both? Could it be so soon? Could it be with a stranger he met only the night before on that fairy-tale meadow that he felt pulled towards? Could it be true that he could feel this... and it was "ok"? "Truly ok"?

Could it be true that Taehyung looked back at him with such peace and enjoyment because he felt the same?

Could this illegality and supposedly mental illness be truly ok?

Jungkook frowned a little, looking at him as closely as they were.

- Do you mean it? - He saw when Taehyung's happiness changed and then reflected the same crease between his eyebrows. He seemed confused. - You said it was truly ok... but what is? You said you got worried out of instinct, but I don't if it doesn't relate to me; do I relate to you? Or... what is this? I called you friend... - Slowly, he shook his head. - Is this friendship truly ok with you? - Gently, he squeezed Taehyung's forearm and brushed his thumb back and forth once, watching the frown deepen on his forehead all the while.

He wanted to know how he saw this; he wanted to know that he knew the risks, the dangers, the lines they were dancing back and forth over, and he wanted to know if he felt truly ok with it.

He wanted to know if he was the only one who had planted a seed in his heart instead of buying the flower that will last only so long.

After a moment of silence, Taehyung finally spoke. But it wasn't what he expected.

- If you want... I can leave. - His voice had changed; it had become small and tired.

- What? - Jungkook blinked, his whole body tensing over.

- If it's too much... - Taehyung sighed. - If I've crossed a line, we can stop being friends; you don't owe me anything, I'll do whatever you say. I swear. - The more, the older he looked.

He was thinking that Jungkook might not want this.

But he's wrong.

- No, Taehyung... I don't want to stop this. - He said, gently. His worry for his feelings and what he might be deciding on his own allowed him to speak freely.

Taehyung's eyes cleared the tiniest bit, but the weight on his shoulders hadn't left completely.

Jungkook moved closer to him, even closer still. And slowly... reached his hand up to hold his face as gently as before.

- I don't want you away. - He saw Taehyung's eyebrows lifted. Gently, his thumb caressed Taehyung's soft cheek, and he spoke again. - You're different. The lines you've crossed, we've crossed them together; I don't blame you for anything. I only wanted to know if you felt truly ok because I... I feel... -

Bravery left right when he needed it most.

Taehyung lifted his hand to place it over Jungkook's on his face, the heart of which was beating rather hard.

- You feel...? - His voice was but a whisper.

Jungkook's breath hitched. He looked into his eyes, saw in them that he would understand, and was able to finish what he meant to say.

- Safe. I feel safe with you. - After a moment, he pursed his lips and turned to look at the door. - But that doesn't translate to how safe I feel in this classroom. - He frowned. Then, he looked back at Taehyung and saw him smiling gently again.

- You want to be alone with me? - He asked in a low voice as if he couldn't truly believe it himself.

Could it be that he thought Jungkook had bought a pretty flower instead of planting the seed?

Jungkook felt his face heat up as he admitted it to him.

- Well, of course. I... wouldn't be here if I didn't want to, would I? - He looked down.

But then he felt that heart-melting pressure against the palm of his hand and heard, close to a whisper,

- Neither would I. -

Slowly, he looked back up.

So, it was decided. They both knew what they were getting themselves into even though none had said it out loud and they both agreed to turn a blind eye to it. At least for the time being Jungkook could let himself dream without feeling ashamed or frightened; the reason for both being that, just like this morning in the bathroom, he knew friendship like Leo's would not be enough for what he wanted.

The flower he had planted in his heart needed a much brighter sun than that of a secure gardening house. But then he saw Taehyung give a great sigh and knew he wasn't the only one.

He could only calm himself with the knowledge that they were the same, both enthralled, both amazed, both dreaming fools that preferred not to touch on the fact that they were doing something deemed unhealthy and preferred not to think on the path this simple touch will escalate to if they continue ignoring the rules. Yes, both are the same.

It seemed obvious to Jungkook that this was a once-in-a-lifetime encounter, and, if he lost him, he would lose the beating in his own heart. For, if he went back to the life he'd been living after knowing how it felt to live, he knew he would rather die. And though he knew he didn't have the bravery to stop his own heart, maybe the pain of knowing what he lost would be enough to do it for him.

What a beauty to have. What a horror to lose. What a gift he'd been given. What a pain to keep it safe.

If people didn't take him away from him... time will. Because he knew, and it was agony, that it would be impossible to hide away in classrooms and meadows forever.

But he held his face gently and looked at him as if gazing at the stars; for once not letting himself succumb to his own fears.

With a deep breath, Jungkook caressed his face with a thumb and saw how Taehyung smiled tenderly at him. Then, pulling everything else away from the forefront of his mind, a small, innocent question appeared, and he asked it.

- Why do you like this touch so much? - He asked it with a smile, with tenderness; looking at Taehyung now and how his shoulders eased their tension, made him curious.

Taehyung looked down, sighing as he thought. But then he looked up with a smile that didn't seem as gentle as the ones they've used. This one looked playful.

Jungkook's breath hitched.

- I won't tell. - He declared like a toddler with a secret.

Jungkook's heart fluttered at the endearment and the incredible honor he felt at being able to see the real him; he was euphoric.

- Oh, so we're going to keep things from each other? That's lovely. Let go of my hand. - He was playing anger, trying to "pull" his hand free (but really just pretending).

Taehyung looked "surprised" at the sudden "harshness" and immediately held Jungkook's hand with both of his, "imploringly".

- Nooooo, do not take this from me. - He faltered a little in his acting and grinned softly.

- Either you give me what I want or you get nothing in return. - Jungkook "threatened" with squinted eyes, grinning just as broadly.

But then Taheyung's smile softened, stopping the game.

- I won't keep anything from you... only if you don't keep anything from me. -

Jungkook realized then that Taehyung had noticed he'd held back when mentioning his family.

- Alright then. - Jungkook said with a daring smile and Taehyung closed his eyes with a little smile, waiting to be showered with the news he'd been holding back.

But Jungkook held back just a little longer, watching him smiling in the palm of his hand. Only now he realized that his arm hadn't tired, his hand hadn't felt clammy or the least bit uncomfortable after so long like he'd heard from classmates at school, instead he felt just as content as he had when he first touched him. He wondered how it would be to be embraced in his entirety. And so he caressed him with his thumb.

His heart tightened and his chest filled with air when Taehyugn sighed and pressed his face closer to his hand. He seemed in paradise. So far away in whatever dream he saw beneath his close eyelids. So much so that he even forgot what he'd asked Jungkook before asking him something else.

- Continue the story. - Taehyung requested as he sighed, his voice as calm as a gentle breeze. He moved his head a little, tilting it down. His breath caressed Jungkook's palm and trailed softly down his wrist every time he exhaled.

Jungkook's breath hitched.

- The what? - He whispered, blinking a few times as he tried unsuccessfully to look away from Taehyung's soft lips and the way the corner that rubbed against his palm was curling upwards.

Taehyung chuckled, making Jungkook swallow dryly before he opened his eyes again.

- Why philosophy? - His voice caressed him like his warm breath against his hand, the slight raspiness that came with it was like fingers brushing thru Jungkook's hair, the sensation like a massage to his scalp that flowed down his spine, relaxing his body. But he bit his lip inside his mouth. The way Taehyung was looking at him with his head tilted down, his lips so close to kissing his skin, made Jungkook's brain slow, stopping him from understanding his question for a long moment.

When he did, he shook his head gently. Grinning again.

- You didn't answer why you like this touch. - He shoot back, returning to their little game to taunt him. He knew it was a double-edged blade and that he will remember he hadn't told him about his family... but really, he felt so incredibly relaxed and happy with him that he didn't mind that much at the moment.

Taehyung grinned wider than him.

- I'll tell you after you tell me. -

Jungkook leaned closer.

- Two can play that game. -

Taehyung squinted his eyes.

- Jungkook. -

And Jungkook's stomach tightened at the playful warning; a little laugh fluttered out of him.

- Threatening? I'm good at that too. -

But Taehyung leaned back (pulling Jungkook with him) and tilted his chin up, looking down on him with a grin.

- Fine. I'll ask Mr. O'Connor. He'll tell me everything about you. -

Jungkook blinked before letting out a single, taken-aback laugh.

- Then I hope you enjoy disappointment 'cause that's all you're gonna get. - He shook his head, his playful grin softening as his eyes darted down for a moment before continuing in a lower voice. - There are only a couple of people who know me more than most. -

- What about me? - Taehyung asked in a little voice, looking directly into his eyes, holding his breath.

The hand on Jungkook's lap twitched but he kept it down. Instead, he caressed Taehyung's cheek with his thumb in a small movement, his breath catching at the feeling of his lips brushing against the palm of his hand, and thought about his question as he looked into Taehyung's waiting, shining eyes.

Only a couple of people knew about him more than most, that was true, and even they knew considerably little because of all the things he keeps to himself. But what about Taehyung? Will he lie to him as well? Will he keep things for him? Even asking himself those questions was pointless and unnecessary, the answer was so obvious he didn't even need to think longer than a second or two.

Confidently and feeling his heart beating in his throat, he answered truthfully.

- You... know more than these two people already. - He looked as Taehyung lifted his eyebrows and his hand on him slid down unknowingly until it reached his wrist. It didn't look like he was breathing. Jungkook felt his face heating up as the corners of his mouth lifted. - It's astounding for me to be this open and honest with someone else so quickly. I don't... really... let myself be myself with strangers, it makes me feel uncomfortable, so... yeah. It's not only incredible to find myself being myself with someone else but to find myself comfortable... being myself. This is getting dizzying. - He shook his head with a nervous little chuckle.

But then he heard Taehyung laughing his beautiful, deep laugh; felt it in his hand, his arm, in his very soul, and his nervousness melted as his smile blossomed. With a sight like the one in the palm of his hand, it's easy to find his chest filled with happiness while his stomach filled with dread. Even now, knowing what he feels and having confessed what he wanted, he still felt the pull in the back of the head, warning him, stressing him, trying to make him pull away in fear. But he stubbornly refused to give it any more attention.

- I find myself frustrated, Jungkook. - Taehyugn shook his head as he sighed, a smile still on his lips. Then he tilted his head to the side slightly, against the palm of his hand. - Hearing that makes me want to know about you even more. -

Jungkook didn't know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. To be the subject of someone else's interest in such an honest, beautiful way was so foreign and yet felt so right that it made him feel nostalgic. Before coming to this university, he never let himself hope beyond the factual knowledge that being with his friends will make this new journey not so bad, even enjoyable, so finding himself in this situation seemed like a fever dream if he tried to be logical. It was simply too good to be true; too magical to be real. And yet here he was, smiling like he never thought himself capable of while holding in the palm of his hand the most beautiful face of the most beautiful human he had ever seen, met, talked to, or could've dreamed of.

Slowly, Taehyung reached up his other hand. His eyes were solely on him, on the strand of hair his fingers were reaching towards.

Jungkook's breathing halted along with his heart, excitement flared up in him at the thought of being touched by him; the anticipation burned and burned until he started begging in his mind. He wanted to be held, to be embraced, to feel his warmth and be enveloped with his scent; he wanted him to pull him closer, to touch him more...

But Jungkook didn't get to know what it felt to have Taehyung gently tucking his hair beneath his ear.

Taehyung had stopped midway from reaching toward him when his eyes caught a glimpse of his own wrist. He had frozen when he saw the watch his sleeve had been covering. The hand on the back of Jungkook's loosened and slowly fell as he turned his wrist to watch the time. The smile has gone from his face, and the tension returned to his shoulders. Frowning, he sighed, returning to being the teacher who seemed older than his twenty-eight years of age.

- At what time was your next class? -

Jungkook's back straightened as his hand pulled away from him in shock. He'd forgotten his classes. Rapidly, he took out his phone from his pocket and when he saw that it was twenty-four past ten, he exclaimed.

- ¿¡An hour has passed!? -

He didn't know what was more surprising, that he'd thought being with Taehyung had felt longer yet not long enough or that he'd forgotten his next class started at fifteen past ten. He sighed heavily when he remembered how looking at the map had told him these two classes were particularly far from one another and then rolled his eyes to the ceiling when he thought of how late he was going to get there. Cold had already started to creep up his lonely hand.

He looked back down at Taehyung, his shoulders as heavy as Taehyung's were tense, and shook his head gently.

- I don't want to leave. - He still didn't know so much, he wanted to listen to him talk about his childhood, wanted to see him get excited and emotional, wanted to be with him and touch him; wanted to listen to his calming, soft, low voice until he felt tingles flowing down his spine. He wanted to know him more.

Resolutely, he leaned back against his chair and folded his arms over his chest, one corner of his mouth lifting. This was the kind of move that would make adults sigh in exasperation at having to deal with a child like him.

With endearment, Taehyung smiled.

- You have to go. Don't miss classes on my account, less if it's your first year. We'll meet afterward. - He said as he straightened the sleeves of his jacket. And even though he smiled, Jungkook could hear the note of authority in his voice that made his eyebrows twitch.

In that one moment, he'd stopped sounding like Taehyung and started sounding like a parent.

Jungkook tilted his chin up.

- No. -

He didn't even know if Taehyung had another class, a meeting, or more work to do, and still, he stubbornly refused to leave. By now, anyone else would've been too annoyed to stay with him, but Taehyung sighed with a genuine smile. It was hard to believe these hopeful eyes wanted him to go to class, it was obvious that he also wanted to stay, and still...

Taehyung shook his head.

Choosing another tactic, Jungkook huffed out a "defeated" breath and bent down to take his bag from the floor.

- Fine, I'll go. You want me to leave. - He stood to put the bag on the table and unzip it.

- Don't say that. - Taehyung chuckled. - We each have responsibilities, don't we? - He waited as if expecting Jungkook to answer, but, instead, the latter took out the map book from his bag without a word. Taehyung moved to the edge of his seat, closer to him. - Jungkook. - Once again, he tried gaining his attention but Jungkook simply closed the map book again once he knew where to go and pocketed it next to his uneaten breakfast. At last, Taehyung stood up and took a step closer to him until his tie was nearly brushing against Jungkook's arm. - Come on, I don't want you to leave like this. - His voice was soft and serious with a bit of worry in his tone.

Because the little act Jungkook had been performing had slowly ceased all humor. He couldn't help but feel a little pissed that he had to go through all the inner monologue of will and won't to get to a conclusion he hadn't been able to uphold for more than what felt like ten minutes. He truly didn't want to leave. Not only was it that he wished to stay with Taehyung but also... he was afraid that leaving would give him time to regret anything. He was afraid of going back to reality. And he was pissed that Taehyung was pushing him away even though he also didn't want him to leave.

- If you don't want me to leave like this then let me stay. - He said as he zipped up his bag with unnecessary force and turned to look at him. He had to look up like he would with Leo but he swallowed at his closeness like he wouldn't do with his friend.

- I... want you to stay. But I'm scared that you'll regret not going to your classes to be with me. - Taehyung said close to a whisper as he looked down at him. Jungkook gave him a little smile.

- Then I'll tell you that I'll regret nothing and stay. -

Taehyung's frown softened and he returned the smile. But then, he shook his head.

- You chose to study Philosophy. You chose to come here. I was the one that came afterward, I can't let you throw dreams away just because I'm here. Also... this isn't school where you can get a lot of classes you dislike. In University, all the classes are centered on that one subject you mostly want to know about. You don't want to--

- Enough. - Jungkook cut him off. - You weren't being yourself on those last couple of lines, you were Mr. Kim. And I don't want to be with Mr. Kim, I want to be with Taehyung. I'll go to class. - He stopped him again. - But, just so you know, I have no dreams of a future as a philosopher. - He put the strap over his shoulder. - I'll leave you with that. Hopefully, the curiosity will make you wish I never left. - With a wide grin, he stepped backward; hoping Taehyung would change his mind.

But Taehyung grinned, shaking his head.

- You could've told me less and I'd still wish you never left. -

Jungkook smiled widely, then rolled his eyes as he turned around.

- You're making no sense. -

Hearing his laughter through the silence in the room, he left.

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Happy two months with DEMOCRITUS <3<3<3

🌼Thank you for reading Chapter 6,

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Your devoted writer,

Ela Shadow Rose 🥀

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Go ahead with the next Chapter ->->->