Affectus Complicatum

Tangled Feelings

Jungkook had been leaning beside the doors to the Professors' Living Area for about five minutes now, waiting for anybody to open the door so he could slide in. He had a red apple in his hand and was playing with it, throwing it and catching it again lazily. His stomach was full from the breakfast the cook gave him so that's why he had left the apple for later.

Right now, he wasn't thinking of anything in particular. Or more like he was ignoring any particular thought at the moment. It was too early for everything that has happened so far, it was only half-past ten and he wanted to take a nap already.

He was right about to catch the apple in his hand once more when the door opened from the inside and out came a female professor walking straight ahead.

Right when the door was about to close again, Jungkook caught it at the same time he caught the apple and slid inside, walking like he belonged, calmed and nearly bored, throwing the apple and catching it again. Praying to any God who had sympathy for him to let him get to Taehyung without encountering anything undesirable.

He pushed the button to the elevator and waited, he could hear some chatter from the rooms on each side of him and, again, he wished the elevator would come quicker. So, once it came, he got in and pushed the button for the door to close as he pressed the number 2. He was able to breathe somewhat freely as the elevator went up.

The look on Leo's face. Emily's gasp. Did he really make the best decision?

He rolled his eyes and slightly slammed his forehead on the elevator's door before it opened once more. He sighed gratefully when he saw that there was no one there. Fastly, he walked to Taehyung's door and knocked for then to wait with his heart in his throat.

Finally, Taehyung opened it. He was wearing a dark blue, cotton shirt under a black, zipped-up sweatshirt, and gray jeans. And once he saw who it was, he frowned in concern as he hastily moved aside so Jungkook could get in.

Apparently, his face wasn't as calm as he thought it was.

Jungkook entered, apple clutched in hand, and walked straight ahead as he looked around the whole apartment. Only the table made for six at the far left corner of the room right in front of a tall window looked messy; with an opened laptop, papers, a coffee cup, an opened book, and some spectacles over its pages.

Jungkook had a ball painfully obstructing his throat and he kept looking around just to make absolutely sure no one else was there and no one could see them through the windows. As he did all of this in very quick succession, he heard the door locking behind him, and as though that was what he was waiting for all along, the lump in his throat took over as he turned around, heading straight to Taehyung's chest.

- My love, what happened? - Taehyung asked as he held Jungkook tightly with one hand around his waist and the other holding the back of his head close to his neck.

Jungkook just sobbed silently.

- I hate crying. - He managed to say before another silent sob rendered him speechless.

And he did hate it, for so many reasons, but right now he only thought of one important one: He was greeting Taehyung with tears right after he had farewell him the night before with tears as well.

The only mess in this place was himself.

What was he thinking when he sprang out to his friends like that? That was so unlike him. He was acting just as out of character as Leo had been, that's why Emily couldn't keep up, the both of them had changed so much in such a short amount of time that she was just baffled. And Jungkook had the nerve to demand that she changed just as fast as them? Just because he was able to change in a matter of just one moonlit night, doesn't mean that everybody else could as well.

He was crying because of what happened in his room, for everything, from the incident with Tom and his own guilty feelings, to the frantic fear of needing to help Jimin who had locked himself in the bathroom and nobody knew why or what he could be doing in there. And then that talk with his friends.

He wanted it to be much longer, to be able to talk to them about everything, to finally be a group of friends that open up fully about their feelings and heal together, but Emily's reaction made everything go downhill. And then Leo's face when he told him, truthfully, that he had needed him to be more persistent when it was just the both of them, broke him.

He practically told him that Taehyung was doing the job he failed to do and that he almost wasn't here because of his ignorance.

What a fucking friend he was.

Taehyung gently let go of him, grabbed his bag and the apple from him to leave them on the kitchen counter, and then hugged him again for then to hoist him up by his thighs and carry him towards the living room, all the while Jungkook tried to calm down again.

He loved Taehyung so much and he was so grateful he could be with him right now, that's all he wanted to think about, so he was mad he had something to cry about.

Gently, Taehyung sat down on the couch, with him seated on his lap, and just hugged him tightly around the waist. Pressing him close to himself.

He was silent, waiting with him for the tears to subside, hugging him and swaying them softly through it. Until Jungkook was able to blink away the remaining tears and then dried his face with the palms of his hands.

Just then, Taehyung gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek.

- How are you feeling? - He asked gently.

Jungkook sighed.

- I could be feeling better. - Then he returned the kiss to Taehyung's cheek.

And he gently held his face to look him in the eyes.

- What happened? -

Jungkook took a deep breath so he wouldn't start crying again and swallowed the lump that tried to form.

- Well... first of all: Tom. Second–

- What did he do? -

Jungkook looked down at his own hands on the base of Taehyung's neck and just said it like it was.

- Jimin was having a very rough time last night so Tom stayed to hug him while he slept, and I–... - He cleared his throat and lowered his face more. - I was dreaming you were hugging me too. At some point in the night, he hugged me, and, because I was asleep, I thought it was you and hugged back. - He felt terrible now for what he had done, but Taehyung caressed his cheeks so gently it made him look up.

- How dare he take my place. - He said, with a little sad smile on his face.

- No one will ever do that. - Jungkook muttered and then leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips.

They kissed softly, oh, just like a feather to the touch. Taehyung leaned in and kissed him again, leaned back to change the angle, and kissed him one more time. Oh, if heaven exists this has to be in it: Taehyung kissing him, his fingertips caressing his cheek while the other hand held his waist, breathing gently, feeling tenderly. This would be heaven if ever he saw one.

Jungkook kissed him and leaned back slowly, just enough to look him in the eyes, and he smiled. There was almost no pain anymore, he had cured him with his kiss.

- How are you feeling now? - Taehyung asked as softly as his smile, and Jungkook giggled a little as he looked him in the eyes.

- Way better. -

Taehyung sighed and held his face with both hands, warming his cheeks.

- Good. - Jungkook smiled once more and felt how Taehyung passed his thumbs over the tender skin under his eyes. - What happened after that, my Angel? -

Jungkook sighed a little, he knew this was coming, there was just no way he could cry as he did and not worry him. So he looked down at his own hands again as he explained, all the while Taehyung caressed his cheeks, his neck, his hair, soothing him while he spoke. He told him about how Tom had threatened him and how he knows where to bite to paralyze a person, he told him how Jimin seeks that numbness sometimes and how he had scared them all by having locked himself up in the bathroom, he told him how scared he was at the thought that he had been in the room at the same time and not realized anything, he told him how he feared to think that he would fail at helping another person again. And he told him about the conversation with his friends and how terrible it had been. But he stopped when the lump in his throat couldn't let him continue without crying.

- What do you mean Leo's acting strange? - Taehyung asked. It was the first question he had asked after a sea of comfort phrases and reassurances, so Jungkook was able to ignore the pain as he thought of the answer with a frown and looked up at his eyes.

- Yeah, he's... He was very unfocused, always in his head. There were times before we came here where he would've been really quiet for some unknown reason and that would worry me but then–... But then Emily would tell me to leave him alone. - He pursed his lips feeling impotence and then sighed in defeat. - She would always say something like "my mother said my father does this..." and that's just how we learned what was appropriate to do as men while we were with her. She would educate us just like at school or home, and we were to listen and learn, of course. So every time he was quiet, we left him alone, and every time I was quiet... I was left alone. - He lowered his head and shook it, Taehyung tried to hold his face once more but Jungkook turned around in his seat and sat down beside him on the couch, lifting his arms to his eyes as he reclined back and tried to calm down. He really tried.

- Jungkook... - Taehyung's voice sounded sadder than anything as he stayed right where he was, respecting his space.

Jungkook shook his head slowly again and let his arms fall, looking straight at the ceiling.

- I'm happy Finn came into his life. Just as I am that you came to mine. What would've happened to any of us if...? - He left the question floating with a cut breath in his throat and then let it die out. He felt Taehyung moving beside him and looked at him. He was turning to the side so he could be facing him completely, and Jungkook grinned a little.

- Have you talked to Leo about Finn? - Taehyung asked with curiosity, maybe trying to keep his mind away from dark thoughts.

And Jungkook smiled even more at that as he thought about the answer.

- Not really. - He shook his head and pursed his lips a little for then to click his tongue in slight frustration as he looked to the opposite wall. - All we settled on was that you were helping me as Finn was helping him. I'm sure we were talking about the same thing even if we never said it. - Feelings, talking about feelings, helping the other with their feelings, he's sure Leo was talking about the same thing, it was written all over his face. - It still amazes me how Finn managed to win Leo's trust so fast. But then I think of us, and... - He chuckled and looked back at Taehyung who grinned as well.

- You had me at first glance, it wasn't really fair. - Taehyung joked a little and Jungkook turned to the side just like he was, getting a little closer to him as he smiled.

- Why wasn't it fair? - He asked softly, looking at his beautiful face and feeling how it calmed him down more and more.

- Because you didn't give me any other choice but to be head over heels for you, how dare you be so breathtakingly beautiful? - He said just as softly and it made Jungkook laugh, closing his eyes and shaking his head as he felt a flutter go off in his stomach.

- You're right. - He said once he stopped laughing and looked closely at Taehyung's eyes. - I should be making this harder for you. - And then he turned around in his seat, giving his back to him. A smile spread wide over his face when he heard Taehyung laughing.

- You shouldn't have done that. - He said in between chuckles.

- Why? - Jungkook challenged, eyes looking at the door. And then he felt some slow movement behind him making adrenaline fire up in him.

- Cause you can't see what I'm going to do next. - Taehyung said simply, and Jungkook had just one moment of silence in which he raised his eyebrows in sudden alarm, for then to be "attacked" from behind as Taehyung leaped up and hugged him tightly. Jungkook gasped and laughed as he put his hands on Taehyung's wrists, and then let his head fall back on his shoulder. - Are you ticklish? -

Jungkook's eyes snapped wide open.

- Don't you dare. -

- You shouldn't have said that. - Taehyung chuckled mischievously.

- I'll bite you. -

- I'll like it. -

- You...! - Jungkook tried to get out of Taehyung's grasp by moving around, and it did absolutely nothing. Taehyung's arms stayed right where they were. They weren't even squishing him or anything, they were just there. - Taehyung, I swear, if you tickle me right now, I won't kiss you for the remainder of the day. -

Taehyung gasped as if he had actually threatened to kill his mother.

- You wouldn't. -

Jungkook was the one smiling now.

- Oh, yes, I would. For the whole day–... - He couldn't continue. With a little scream, he was pushed back onto the couch by Taehyung's arms, and then the man himself got out from underneath too fast to comprehend and put himself over Jungkook. It was in moments like this that Jungkook could see the "Wild Child" that used to climb up trees and run through the woods for fun. He grinned.

- Ok, game's over, I won't tickle you. - Taehyung promised, almost seriously but with a chuckle at the corner of his mouth.

Jungkook giggled and folded his hands behind Taehyung's head.

- Awww, do you really like my kisses so much? - He looked endearingly up at him. Any pain he ever felt that morning was finally forgotten in a corner of his mind.

Taehyung got closer to him and looked down at his lips.

- Yes. I'm a little obsessed if I'm being honest. - Then he looked back up at his eyes and tilted his head a little to the side as he made his stare all alluring. Jungkook grinned wider, feeling warm inside.

- Well then, now I know how to get everything I want. - He joked a little in a soft voice.

- Oh, honey, I think you haven't understood. - Taehyung said in a low voice as he got closer to his lips and brushed them with his own. Jungkook closed his eyes as a rush came with that little teasing. - You don't need to win an argument to get anything you want, - He said huskily and gave him one butterfly kiss on the lips. Jungkook breathed deeply and let himself enjoy the pleasant rush in his veins as he heard and felt Taehyung getting closer to his ear. - I want to give everything to you on a silver platter. - Jungkook swallowed and grinned slightly as he felt him kiss his earlobe then his yaw, his cheek, the corner of his mouth, and then he held his face in place.

Jungkook let him do whatever he wanted, for it was the same thing he himself wanted.

Taehyung leaned in and kissed him once, leaned back and in again to kiss him a second time, but the third time he kissed him, he stayed, and he moved his hand away so Jungkook could answer. Once they started, it was oh so good.

Jungkook breathed in deeply and, when he felt Taehyung deepening the kiss, he moaned softly. But just as he was starting to forget time and space completely, Taehyung stopped and leaned back. Jungkook couldn't understand why until he heard, still with his eyes closed, how Taehyung was trying unsuccessfully to breathe normally.

He opened his eyes and saw how Taehyung had his eyes tightly closed, and, at each side of Jungkook's head, he had his hands into fists against the couch. He understood what this was, and Jungkook being the mischievous person that he was, neared Taehyung's ear to purr into it.

- Where has your mind flittered towards, I wonder. - Taehyung's forehead fell on his shoulder. Anyone using a brain would've detached themselves from whatever thing that couldn't let them breathe properly, but Taehyung wasn't thinking with his head at the moment, and Jungkook knew it. He grinned like a little devil and purred again. - Was it perhaps... the events that happened on your bed last night? - He saw clearly how Taehyung swallowed and tightened his jaw. - Or could it be a dream that you had again? -

Taehyung took a very deep breath and, as he exhaled, he neared Jungkook's neck, brushing his way up his skin with his hot breath until he got to his lips and said in a husky voice.

- Not nervous about daylight anymore, I see. -

Now Jungkook was the one who swallowed as Taehyung looked him straight in the eyes with dark gems like his.

- What if I told you that I was? - Jungkook grinned, trying to appear as though he still had control when, in reality, he wanted Taehyung to eat him up like his favorite candy.

- I wouldn't really believe you, my Love. - Taehyung grinned, and his was way more natural. His wild side was out to play, and it was Jungkook's fault.

But then Jungkook had such a pleasant idea that, when he grinned, Taehyung's disappeared.

- What if I like the idea of having you on edge for the whole day? -

Taehyung gasped slowly and disbelieving, half closing his eyes.

- You know?... - He took some time to continue with his sentence, but then he did with a grin. - After last night... I would advise you not to try betting on anything regarding self-control because, I can tell you right now, we'll both lose. -

Jungkook giggled and let his head fall back. He was getting high on the feeling already. Taehyung was completely right, they lost before they could even bet.

But then Jungkook remembered something that made him have an idea, stopping his laughter and opening his eyes wide.

- Oh my god. - He brought a hand to his mouth and started to laugh nervously at what just came to his mind. Taehyung saw this and laughed in amusement.

- What is it? -

Jungkook spluttered a little when he tried to speak it out loud, but couldn't. He shook his head and closed his eyes, hand still over his mouth.

- Oh, honey, don't do that to me, tell me what you thought, it seems amusing. - Taehyung said with a pout and then kissed the back of his hand.

A little begrudgingly and feeling shy, he took his hand away from his mouth and brought Taehyung closer by the nape of his head to whisper in his ear.

- I just thought... I mean, we-- Oh god... Ok. We're going to the city, right? To buy things and food for the apartment... -

- Mhm...? - It sounded like he knew where Jungkook was going with this but he still wanted him to continue.

Jungkook sighed in exasperation.

- Well... you said we would buy something else. - Jungkook felt himself blushing.

- Mhmmm....?-

This cocky bastard. Jungkook could hear him grinning, he knew exactly what he was trying to say.

- You know what I mean. - Jungkook tried to finish the conversation as he let go of his neck, but Taehyung shook his head still close to his ear.

- No no, you made me say a lot of truths last night. Say it. - He whispered the last piece and Jungkook bit his lip. - Say it, I want to hear it coming from you, come on. - He said huskily and Jungkook chuckled.

- I love how you get sexier and sexier every day, goddammit. - Because Taehyung was the one most reluctant to talk dirty, but now? It was like he was made for it. Just as Jungkook dreamed.

Taehyung chuckled darkly and brushed his lips to Jungkook's ear.

- You took the words out of my mouth. - Jungkook grinned wider. - Come on, say it. What extras will we buy? - Jungkook closed his eyes and grinned at the perfect idea that appeared in his mind.

- Candles... -

- ...What else? -

- Wine... -

Taehyung chuckled very sweetly and Jungkook turned his head a little to the side so the sides of their foreheads were touching.

- Is this your way of inviting me to dinner? -

Jungkook lifted his hand again and tangled his fingers through the hair on the back of his head.

- Yes. - With eyes closed, he felt Taehyung's lips brush the corner of his own.

- I'd love to. - His voice was so sexy it was making Jungkook go crazy. - What else will we need? - He chuckled. - What's for dessert? - Jungkook bit his lip for a moment. - Say it. -

Jungkook lost his breath at the same time that his fingers pulled a little, making Taehyung moan very low.

- All the essentials we need to finally go all the way, please. - Jungkook pleaded and then gasped when Taehyung growled and folded his arms around his waist, lifting him slightly off the couch and tightening his body to him.

He was going crazy with the thought of it just like Taehyung. He wanted it to happen. He wanted to be the closest to Taehyung, to feel him, to make him go crazy by giving him what he most wanted. Just the mental image of Taehyung with an open mouth, eyes closed, as he himself slowly moved his hips up and down, up and down, making him go crazy; it was making him lose it.

- You want to? - Taehyung asked as he exhaled heavily, voice low and aroused, making the skin on Jungkook's neck tingle because of his soft lips brushing against it.

They were so tight together that Jungkook could feel just how hard he was, and it made him swallow. He knew Taehyung had asked that not for confirmation but because he wanted to hear him say it, so he whispered close to his ear.

- I want you, Tae. -

Taehyung whimpered as he tightened his hold on Jungkook, rubbing their groins together uncontrollably and very slowly.

Jungkook bit the tip of Taehyung's ear and gently let go.

- My goodness, I want you. God, I want you so bad. I want you right now. -

Jungkook giggled a little out of breath and moved his hips to rub them together again, taking a low moan out of Taehyung.

- Where do you want me? - He purred, eyes dazed as he looked down at Taehyung's ear right next to his lips. Mind foggy with need, with want.

Taehyunt leaned back, letting go of his waist to be able to hold himself over Jungkook. His eyes were dark and shiny as lust glinted in them.

- The bed. - That was all Taehyung growled before he stood up. But not a second passed before Jungkook was at his side again and Taehyung took the back of his neck to kiss him fiercely.

Jungkook placed his hands on Taehyung's chest, feeling the soft fabric of his simple cotton shirt and the hard beating of his heart beneath his palms. Taehyung reached down and held him up by the back of his thighs, stopping the kiss to carry him to the bed while Jungkook kissed his neck and pulled gently at his hair.

He loved these moments of intense physical need with Taehyung, both of them lost in their sudden frantic desires, wishing nothing more than to tear the clothes of the other, feel them on their tongue and hear just how much they liked it. Sudden, irrational, and incredibly fun.

Still holding him, Taehyung knelt on the bed and then gently placed him there for then to lean back and take off his sweatshirt.

The notch on the base of his neck, that dent in the middle of his collarbones, beautifully stood out thanks to the v-neck of that blue t-shirt. He looked so nice like that, Jungkook couldn't help but sit up and kiss it. Placing a hand on the small of his back and the other on his shoulder, Jungkook brought him closer to kiss the length of his throat, feeling his Adam's apple as he went up, feeling Taehyung's hands gripping his hair and hearing his breathing getting deeper until he got to his yaw and Taehyung moved away so he could kiss him on the lips and push him back so Jungkook was against the bed again.

With just one talented hand, Taehyung unbuttoned his shirt from the neck down, and as he did that, Jungkook kicked off his shoes. Once his shirt was completely unbuttoned, Jungkook held Taehyung tight to him and turned them so he could be on top, and he leaned back to be sitting upright exactly over Taehyung's clothed groin with a tiny playful grin on the corner of his mouth as he panted slightly. When Taehyung saw this, he exhaled with a dark chuckle.

- Oh no. - His voice was anything but regretful, maybe a little frightened, but most of all excited.

- What? - Jungkook chuckled and tilted his head innocently to the side.

Taehyung chuckled again, his eyes half-closed as he looked up at him.

- You deceive no one, my Angel. Go ahead... torture me. -

Jungkook bit his lip at the way he said that. It did seem as though Taehyung felt more powerful today, and Jungkook found it so incredibly arousing.

With a giggle, he placed his hands on Taehyung's clothed, hard stomach, and started rolling his hips slowly, completely focused on Taehyung's beautiful face.

Taehyung's grin disappeared. He swallowed, looked down at Jungkook's hips, and bit his lip while he grabbed them tightly. His head fell back as his eyes closed and his own hips moved up against him in slow grinding motions. And Jungkook was out of it as he looked down at him, staring at how he swallowed and breathed hard, feeling his hands holding his hips tightly. He himself was in so much pleasure, he didn't know if it was physical or mainly mental but he was under so much pleasure as he watched Taehyung under him feeling good.

He leaned down, placing his elbows on either side of Taehyung's head as he connected his lips to his neck and his body moved on its own, grinding sensually against Taehyung, their hard, clothed members, torturously rubbing against each other hard and consistently in a wave-like motion.

- Oh god... - Taehyung moaned against his ear. - How can--...Ah... How can you move like that? Oh my--... -

Taehyung wrapped an arm around him from his waist to the opposite shoulder and then his other hand made its way slowly down his back to grab his ass, pressing them tightly against each other, making it hard for Jungkook to move as freely but not caring in the slightest. They were so tightly against each other as they moved together that Jungkook could feel slight dampness where the head of his cock pressed against his pelvis. Precum. His head fell so his forehead was left against the bed and his eyes rolled back as he moaned, for then to close them and bite Taehyung's shoulder. He could feel all of Taehyung...

But the clothes were in the way.

He slowed down his movements and placed his palms on Taehyung's shoulders to hold himself up while holding him down. They were both out of breath, and "aroused" was an understatement.

- Take those cursed pants off. - Jungkook demanded, curving his back so he could lean back enough to look into Taheyung's eyes but not be entirely separated from him.

Taehyung half grinned and his both hands went down to squeeze his ass cheeks, taking a breath out of him.

- I like these jeans. - He said huskily, and Jungkook grinned too.

- I like them better on the floor. -

Taehyung chuckled and let Jungkook unbutton his pants, and while he stood up to pull off both pants and underwear, Taehyung took off his own shirt.

Jungkook took off his pants and underwear too, along with his socks, and was just about to pull his unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders when Taehyung stopped him.

- Wait. - Jungkook stopped. There as he stood on the foot of the bed, he looked down at how Taehyung was holding himself up on his elbows and looking him up and down with a lip between his teeth before finally saying. - Keep the shirt. - A smirk looking at odds with a red tint of shyness on his cheeks, and that same shyness being a complete contrast with the way he was completely bared and inviting in both eye and manner.

Jungkook grinned, and slowly made his way over Taehyung, crawling with mischief in his eyes as he never stopped staring at him. Leaving the unbuttoned shirt on.

- Another pose you want me to do? - He purred right against his lips.

Taehyung grinned and slowly held his waist under the shirt.

- Many. - He exhaled and kissed him but then pushed him back gently by his chest. - Sadly, we don't have that much time since I have to get back to work... - He said with an angry tint in his voice as he slid his hands under the shirt and caressed his way down Jungkook's curves. - But that will never mean I won't worship you like I must, my Angel. - He promised huskily and then firmly closed the distance between their lips, taking the breath out of him as well as the words. Taehyung loved so fiercely it was like an open flame. And Jungkook loves the heat.

Now he could finally feel his skin as they kissed, and so he pressed himself against him and felt everything he wanted to feel. Chest against chest, abs against abs, and dicks rubbing together. There was nothing better than this: Way more than just sex and yet just as fun. Being intimate with the one you love simply makes everything way better.

Taehyung grabbed his ass tightly under the shirt and made him move as he wanted. Jungkook moaned and bit Taehyung's bottom lip for then to release it slowly and lean back until he was sitting upright again.

- That's it. - Taehyung said grinning sexily with a low voice as he stared up at Jungkook. - You see? You naturally drive me crazy. I didn't even have to tell you what I wanted to see. -

Jungkook chuckled and brought a hand up to his hair to grab it hard as he panted. The feeling of Taehyung's dick right under him, bare skin on bare skin, was so utterly arousing. But he had to keep his head for a moment.

- How much time do we have? -

Taehyung didn't answer, it was like he was in a trance as he bit his lip and looked him up and down.

- Hey. - Jungkook grinned down at him.

- I'm sorry, what? - He said, breathlessly as he caressed the curve of his waist up and down and kept on staring at all of him. Jungkook chuckled and let go of his hair to leave his arms on either side of himself.

- I asked how much time we have. - Taehyung was still out of it as he brought a hand to Jungkook's hard stomach and made his way slowly up his torso, making Jungkook breathe a little harder. - Tae... -

- Does it still hurt? - He asked when his hand was caressing over the fading, yellowish, bruise.

- No. - Jungkook panted and then grabbed his hand to stop him and make him look up at his eyes. - How much time do we have? - He asked for the third time and Taehyung let out a deep breath when he saw the firmness of his stare.

- Umm... maybe... I think, perhaps... - It seemed as though he was having a mental debate when he frowned and bit his lip. And then he shrugged and shook his head. - I don't really need to attend that webinar, do I? -

Jungkook gasped with a disbelieving little smile.

- You have a webinar? ...And you started this??? -

Taehyung laughed, slightly ashamed, and nodded. Jungkook shook his head slowly, still in disbelief.

- Oh, please, whatever you do, do not stop this right now, I beg you. - Taehyung lowered the other hand that was holding his waist and grabbed his thigh.

- Taehyung, when does it start? -

Taehyung laughed again.

- I think in ten minutes. -

Jungkook laughed with him at the irresponsibility of the situation and then leaned down to be right over his lips.

- You bad boy. - He said with clenched teeth and Taehyung moaned low, his hands caressing their way back to his ass.

- You want to teach me a lesson? - He joked with half-closed eyes. - Want to reprimand me? Mh? I thought I was the teacher here. -

Jungkook kissed him deeply for a moment and bit his bottom lip once more when he leaned back.

- I should. - He said low and held his jaw in place, making Taehyung grin darkly. - What about this? I won't let you cum until the webinar is over. Feeling reprimanded yet? -

Taehyung's grin disappeared while Jungkook's grin widened.

- ...you wouldn't. - His voice wasn't at all confident and Jungkook couldn't blame him, he knew in his eyes there was all the arousal this simple idea had flared up in his mind.

- Put your clothes back on, my bad boy. - He chuckled darkly and then leaned back to be sitting upright again.

Taehyung took a second where he was completely frozen, but then he sat up as well and tightened them against each other again.

- And what will you do? - He asked, seriously, head tilted back, hands holding his waist tightly.

Jungkook wrapped his arms around his neck and brushed the tips of their noses together.

- Wait for you. -

Taehyung positively melted by the way he slowly closed his eyes and breathed out. But then he frowned in protest.

- I really don't have to attend it. -

- What is it about? -

Taehyung remained with his eyes closed as he shook his head, like a little kid making a small tantrum.

- Philosophy through the ages or something. I don't know. Is no big deal. -

- You sound like a uni student instead of a professor. - Jungkook threw his head back as he laughed, and right then he felt Taehyung's lips against his neck. Slowly he straightened his head and asked him low into his ear. - If you don't have to go, why did they invite you? - Taehyung grunted and, under the shirt, he wrapped his arms around his waist tightly before answering begrudgingly into his ear as well.

- I'm supposed to start with ancient and medieval philosophy. -

Jungkook laughed breathlessly.

- You have to be kidding me. Let go of me right now and get ready, Professor. - Taehyung grunted again and bit down right where shoulder met neck, freezing Jungkook with the rush it sent. - Tae... - Jungkook said slowly and tried to use another tactic as he felt Taehyung kissing up his neck. - Tae, think about all the time we'll have later to do much more. Don't you want to do much more? Mh? -

- Yes. -

Jungkook smiled and held the side of his cheek to make him look into his eyes.

- Then go. And I'll be listening, so, if you do a really good job, I'll give it to you good, ok? - Taehyung bit his bottom lip, trying to suppress a smile. He really was just so endearing sometimes. - Ok? - Jungkook asked again with a smile.

- Ok. - Taehyung answered in a small voice as he looked down for a second, but then he closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss him deeply.

Jungkook granted him that, also because he was just as desperate even if he could remain objective. But, when it started to be too much, it started to feel too good again and they started to breathe deeper and faster. Taehyung's hands moved to grab his ass and Jungkook stopped the kiss to take Taehyung's hands gently off of himself. Taehyung let him do that, and also stopped himself from grabbing him when Jungkook stood up from the bed, even if he looked like he wanted to do it badly.

Emily was sitting on a garden bench, looking unseeingly around herself at the other students walking around in front of the library. Her bag was open beside her and she had her computer over her lap, but she wasn't looking at it. She hadn't even realized the screen had gone dark about ten minutes ago.

Her head was full of so many different things that she never thought she would ever need to worry about. And guilt clung to her chest just like confusion in her mind.

Leo and Jungkook... What was happening with them?

Something was off, she could sense it. Since the first day, she had the general idea that starting university wouldn't be that easy for Jungkook in regards to his emotional state, but Leo? She never thought it would happen to him as well. Although, as she thought, she realized that Jungkook had taken an even worse hit than she even thought he would; he got in a fight not even two days after arriving, and she thought this behavior of his would stop once those classmates weren't with him. She thought it was because of them that he had to fight so much, but then this happened.

It almost seemed like they had bottled it all inside. Didn't they? Is that why Leo has outbursts of violence every once in a while? Because he suppresses all of his anger and then when just one more person does something that merely annoys him, it just makes the glass overflow and that's why he explodes? Is that why Jungkook... Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook, so much happens to him and in so many different ways that it can't only be one explanation for his outbursts since he has several ones. Jungkook can explode in different ways, sometimes against other people, sometimes against himself, sometimes just crying, other times screaming at the top of his lungs until he's just left laughing hysterically.

And the hugs; he always needs a hug.

Before they got here and they could just see Jungkook a few days at a time, he wouldn't let her go too far from him, and he was always so gentle. Even if the knuckles caressing her hand were bruised and cut open, she wouldn't take her hand away because she knew he needed it. And, just like with Leo, she knew he needed a hug once in a while even if he didn't just grab her like Jungkook usually does, so she was the one hugging him and feeling how the tension left his body.

What went wrong? She acted the role that was given to her as the emotional helper by hugging them and being altogether lovely and sweet, she would caress them and hold their hands so they could feel loved, and she would talk to them softly so they would feel safe. What did she do wrong?

Dig deeper? Look for answers? Was that where she went wrong? That she would just see them in some kind of distress and hug them instead of asking them about it, was that it?

But what could she have done differently? Her mother taught her that a woman is there to clean the man's wounds, not to help them on the battlefield, that's why she's there physically so they would feel supported while they fight their inner demons. That had worked wonderfully well with her mother and father, and Jungkook's and Leo's parents are still together perhaps because of the same reason, so why didn't it work with them?

It couldn't be because they didn't like her ways, otherwise, they wouldn't have said how grateful they are to have her. She was so confused, she thought that maybe Jungkook would feel even better now that he has a girlfriend he could be intimate with, that maybe having a girl he liked even closer to him than she had ever been would help him in anything that was going on inside him, but, apparently, that wasn't the case seeing how he was getting worse instead of better.

Or maybe it wasn't that he was getting worse, maybe it was just that he had been like this all along but because they weren't able to see him for months at a time they never thought he lived like this; fighting and running and getting so sick so suddenly that he needs to spend the night at a teachers apartment. In other words, being a complete handful of problems. No wonder why his parents always left him alone, who could keep up with his mood?

Sunday, he was smiling as he looked around the corridors. Monday, he looked sick, with slight scratches on his arms and shrugging about how he had left his coat in a classroom the night before. Tuesday, he had a fistfight with Tom and was sent to the office to later spend the rest of the day locked up in a teacher's apartment, and then he wouldn't accept her hug or even her touch when he usually wouldn't let her go for hours. Wednesday, Leo told them about Professor Evans and Jungkook's mood turned so murky that she didn't even try to hug him since she thought that would be the last thing he wanted. Thursday, was when he never came back to his room and they spent anxious hours waiting for him until Leo told her to go to sleep and not to worry. Friday, Leo called her in the middle of a class to tell her that Jungkook got sick and was in the same teacher's apartment, the same teacher that was told to keep an eye on Jungkook, the same teacher that has caught him several times and locks him up in his apartment for hours at a time, just like his father used to do.

But now that teacher is his friend?

She didn't know what to think of Professor Taehyung, since last night he was looking just as worried as they were, or even more. The situation was so confusing because Jungkook had shown a certain dislike for him but then presented him as his new friend. So confusing, so utterly confusing.

Finally today, Saturday, she thought a resting night would help him feel better in the morning. He did look better, she saw him drawing on his new table. But, after the whole fear with Jimin in the bathroom, it seemed as though it had shaken him worse than she thought.

He had told them things she would've never even thought of.

She never knew he had panic attacks or that he sought pain to feel something. It was so unnerving to think that she knew so little about someone she calls one of her best friends because now it raises the question, what if she knows nothing about Leo as well?

She closed her laptop with a snap. Her eyes burned with unshed tears and there was an obstruction in her throat. She needed to understand what was going on.

Hastily, she pocketed the computer back into her bag and closed it to stand up and start walking straight to the classroom of that Professor she met a few days ago which was located in the medical wing, closest to the city. This walk will take a while, but she was grateful, she needs to get there with solid questions to ask him.

Leo was laying on the opposite bed paralleling Finn's. The one that was no one's and was against the open window. He had his hands folded under his head while he looked out at the almost blue sky while he gratefully took in the cold morning air. With every blow of wind, he took a deep breath to inhale the clean, woodsy, scent.

Then, the door opened.

- Well, there were a lot of things to choose from and you didn't tell me what you wanted so I just took a little bit of everything I could. - Finn chuckled as he entered, closing the door with his foot because his hands carried a full bag each. Leo chuckled comfortably.

- Did you raid the Arcade room? - He joked softly, and Finn looked at him for a second before averting his eyes as he grinned. Then, he walked towards his own bed.

- Of course not. I raided the kitchenette, there's a difference. - At this, Leo laughed merrily and turned to the side.

- I told you to choose for me. -

- And you think that's an easy task, don't you? - They chuckled again and Finn opened the bags to drop everything over the bed. - I didn't know if you were too hungry if you wanted salty things or sugary or spicy or liquid or solid or... I don't know, so I brought a little of each, ok? -

They laughed for a while now and Finn was looking straight at Leo and how he seemed much calmer than before.

- Ok. I'm sure I'll like everything anyway, so don't worry. - With the help of his hands, he sat up and put his feet on the floor.

- How are you? - Finn asked softly, the previous smile still lingering on the corners of his mouth as he stood in front of him.

Leo looked down at the floor and took a deep breath before looking back up at him with a reassuring smile.

- Better. - He nodded once at the window behind himself. - Breathing helped, you were right. Like always. - He muttered the last bit more to himself than anything, but Finn must've heard it given how he lowered his head with a grin.

- Ok, that's good. Now come here and choose something. -

Leo chuckled and stood up towards him.

The warm feeling in his chest was still an unknown entity that caused him slight discomfort. It was kind of troubling for him given how the warmth was making him feel protected. It only meant he was still feeling vulnerable.

But it was getting repetitive by now. Since he woke up this morning, he has done nothing but try to avoid that feeling altogether because he couldn't understand it. He had tried to think of any and every reason why he shouldn't be feeling that thing in his chest, but then he felt like a monster for wanting to get rid of it. It was a lovely feeling, a sweet thing that wanted to make him feel comfortable, and he was trying to rip it away from himself like a parasite.

He wanted to understand since he was making no sense. But, truthfully, he was afraid of thinking deeper into it. He was afraid of what he might find. And then, that fear made him angry because he shouldn't be scared, he's a man, and he shouldn't let himself be overly emotional and instead be rational.

But... he doesn't want to be that man anymore. He doesn't want to be the kind of man that refuses lovely feelings because "those are for girls". And he feels longing because he wants that lovely, warm feeling to stay and make him feel--... help him feel.

But in the end, it was just a vicious circle, so he stopped thinking altogether and just breathed.

In... Thinking about how Finn had helped him.

Out... Thinking about how Finn had talked to him.

In... Thinking about how Finn had... looked at him.

Out... Thinking about... Finn's eyes.

In... Thinking about... green and warmth.

Out... Green and warmth.

In... Finn and green.

Out... Finn and... warmth.

In and out... Finn...

He concluded before he had even realized he had decided anything: He won't think as much anymore. Because thinking was killing him, overloading him with unwanted thoughts, filling him with hatred and sadness. So, no, he won't think as much anymore, at least not when he's with Finn. He'll just let that warm feeling be there as it may and do nothing to stop it since it feels nice. And if it feels so nice then, how would it hurt him?

- Ok, I've organized them a little bit. - Finn informed him with a little smile as he looked down at the bed where they were sitting parallel to each other, the food right in their midst. - These are salty and these are candies. Don't really know which one is spicy or sour so, good luck. - He looked up at Leo as he chuckled, and then averted his eyes to the bed once more. - Why are you looking at me like that? - He chuckled nervously.

Leo blinked.

- Like what, sorry? - He asked softly, as little concerned since he actually had no idea he had been staring at him in any certain way. But then Finn shook his head and looked up at him again.

- Never mind, don't worry about it. If you're not going to eat, I will. - And with his usual chuckle, Finn grabbed a bag of chips and opened it.

- Ok. - Leo chuckled, a little eased by that. Maybe it had been nothing, so he just looked down at the bed, realized it was divided into two piles, and started to rummage through each to see what he'll like.

All the while, he didn't notice Finn staring at him with some... concern.

Leo hadn't really been paying attention to what he was saying, he had been looking at him with a soft warm smile as his eyes glowed, and he seemed to have done that without even realizing it.

Finn couldn't suppress the sudden worry that this caused him, because he had seen that glowing look before, and nothing good had come with it.          

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