Energy

Energy

Leo closed his eyes tightly, his bottom lip trembled, and just as those tears rolled down, his knees pulled up towards his chest until he hugged them close. His head, resting over his forearms.

Finn waited once again until he could answer him anything at all. And he saw him troubled, shaking, breathing deeply, shaking his head, sighing tremulously, and drying his own tears with the collar of his shirt, hurting his already dry under-eyes; all while he saw by his side silently, holding that frozen bag to his face.

Leo didn't lift his head from his knee, but he still spoke in mutters.

- I knew it. - It wasn't necessarily directed at him, he was simply... sighing. But the next part wasn't a sigh, it was a plea. - ...why didn't you let me be confused? -

A part of him was sure this question would be brought up, so Finn answered surely.

- Truth liberates us. Even if it hurts. - It hurts. It just hurts. Watching him cry like this, like he had no idea what to do with himself, it was heartbreaking.

- Truth? What truth? - He frowned.

And Finn clicked his tongue.

- Must you make me say it again? -

Leo stilled himself. Apparently, this was such an unusual reaction that it made Leo forget he was crying as he lifted his head to look at him.

The sight of Leo's red-rimmed eyes and tear-tracked face made him frown. It made him sad.

- You... - Leo tried to say something but seemed distracted. He pulled his hand up and started to dry the tears under his left eye but... he was doing it too harshly.

Finn watched him wipe his tears the first time and blinked, realizing why his face was so scratched, then watched him wipe for the second time and gritted his teeth as he held his breath. He was in pain watching him being so indelicate with himself; but it wasn't until Leo used the heel of his palm to drag it harshly (like a little kid) over that eye, that Finn had enough. He just couldn't watch him hurting himself anymore.

Leo blinked his eyes open and slowly looked down at his wrist... and watched Finn's hand holding it; stopping him from touching his face.

It was only the tips of Finn's fingers halting that hand and if Leo really wanted it, he could easily pull his hand free. But he just looked up at him; worry in the middle of his eyebrows.

- You're hurting yourself, don't do it like that. - Finn gently apprehended him, a deep frown on his forehead. He had lowered the ice bag from his face to hold him there, and maybe it was the sight of those cuts and bruises that halted Leo from doing or saying anything, or maybe it was indeed the fact that it was the first time he was holding him so gently, but something made Leo stop any movement.

Slowly, Finn came to his senses, and... his frown ebbed as the middle of his eyebrows pulled up infinitesimally.

He was quite new to this so... he wasn't entirely sure.

But he could try, couldn't he?

Slowly so Leo could see, he lifted his other hand. His heart was beating terribly, nearly painfully, but he went on. Leo watched that other hand and looked as it neared his own face. Finn saw how his breathing shuddered and accelerated. Afraid. Leo was so afraid; but not of him. More tears welled up, ready to fall. And, right when that tear fell... Finn caught it with the back of his index finger.

Both their breaths stopped. Maybe, so did their hearts. And they looked at each other, fear reflecting off the other like a mirror. But another tear fell from the other eye, so Finn let go of his wrist to catch it with his thumb.

He wasn't holding his face, but he touched him... over... and over... and over again, he touched him, wiping away his tears with his thumbs so delicately. He touched him, dried his tears, and looked at him reassuringly. Touching not only his face but also his frantic heart; trying to ease the tears and the fright, even if he himself was feeling a bit faint about what he was doing.

- What are you doing? - Leo whispered so low it was but a movement of his lips.

Finn swallowed and took a deep breath. And right when his thumb was softly caressing under his eye, he said,

- Showing you how to do it. - His voice was just as low. He was breathless but somehow composed. - You're so harsh, you're hurting yourself. - The tears have stopped now, but his thumbs kept on caressing the red and delicate skin under his eyes softly.

That's when he realized... he was touching him... he was feeling him... he was...

Finn's whole body warmed over in a heatwave that started from his chest and it was so inconvenient for the present moment that he greeted his teeth, but still, he couldn't let go of him. Because he didn't want to.

Leo looked up at him with an unreadable expression and Finn figured that it must be because he was feeling too much right now. Just like him.

- What are you doing? -

Finn's fingers stopped right there along with his breathing. Leo's tone just now sounded so afraid, but also sad, but also desperate, but also... Maybe he was talking to himself, or maybe he was asking something else, or maybe...

Finn took in a deep breath, steadying himself as best he could before finally holding his face. Holding him with both hands; his fingers brushing against his hair while his thumbs rested under his eyes. He held him steadily. And even if he felt fragile on the inside, he was as strong as a pillar when he opened his mouth again.

- I'm holding you. - Gently, he put a little more pressure on his hands to accentuate it. - I'm drying your tears. - He brushed a thumb beneath his eye. - I couldn't stand the sight of you hurting your face like that so I took the lead to show you. But I also... - Yes, his bravery only goes so far. His sentence stopped. But he bit his bottom lip harshly to wake himself up and he went on. - I... Since lunch, I've wanted to... - Jesus. He was getting frustrated with himself. He shook his head. - Hold you. I've been wanting to hold you since we came here for the first time. - There. He said it at last.

...slowly, Leo's eyebrows pulled up slightly.

- ...hold... ? - It seemed he was so in shock that he couldn't speak properly. Or think.

But no matter, Finn was here to talk it all out. For the sake of both their mental health and their friendship, he will say everything that needs to be said.

- Hold... Touch... - He shrugged a bit and swallowed. - It's because... the touch is a very important thing for me. It didn't use to be but... due to what happened and... the rope snapping and everything... - Leo's breath hitched. - Well, it kind of made a disconnection between me and other people, making me feel... worse. Which is why I... - Finn sighed and nearly rolled his eyes at the memory. That decision he took that day will forever haunt him. - ...why my first girlfriend was... awful. We both needed to feel alive, but it just went... awful. - He shrugged with a grimace. - But that's not the point, the point is that... I need to touch the people I'm close with or else I'll always feel disconnected from them. -

- That's why I wanted to touch you. Why I... needed to touch you. Grabbing you, stopping you, bumping my shoulder with yours; those were all touches I needed. I could write it off and say that it was also to help you realize that we're both humans and we can touch each other without it having any ill intention, and it was, but my priority was to touch you, so I could feel that you were... right there with me and that I'm... alive still. -

He nearly grimaced once he finished. His chest ached, but he knew it was time to let go. In reality, this need for touching others ran way deeper than he would want to explain. So, he didn't want to let go, he wanted to sense him with everything he had, not only with his hands. However, consent was much more important to him than his own needs or wishes, so, slowly and gently, he detached his palms from Leo's cheeks, feeling how his fingers brushed against his hair one last time until the cold wind enveloped them once more.

As he retracted his hands, he tried with all his might to remind himself that he had only just had Leo's skin against his own and so he needn't worry about him not being there at all. Reminding himself to use all of his senses to connect with the present, with the sounds, the scents, the sights, all while he hugged his torso. He had been strong because he was holding him, but now that he wasn't, he was fighting against that lonely feeling again.

Looking down at the floor, he frowned and spoke again. Thinking out loud only so Leo could know him more and more.

- It's a very frustrating thing, actually. And stupid. And contradicting; because... This need only comes when I'm genuinely close to someone, but then it just messes things up... Like what happened at lunch. It was so stupid. - He sighed, shaking his head while leaning sideways against his bed. - It wasn't necessarily that I needed to touch you right then and there, it was merely that this need blurs out the lines and because I had been thinking about it for so long then, subconsciously, it was as if I had already accepted the fact that I could touch you when, in reality, I hadn't really done it. Even if you did it yesterday and you held onto my knee, I shouldn't have simply assumed you were comfortable with it and tried to--... - He sighed again. - I don't even know what I was planning on doing, it was so stupid, what did I think was going to happen? That we would simply laugh? That it was going to be a joke? For fucks sake, I'm so... -

Pissed off, angry, embarrassed, depressed...

No... no, no, he shouldn't be thinking that way. Finn stopped talking and thinking and simply took in a deep breath. Maybe he said too much, maybe he just sounded like a crazy person, maybe Leo was actually thinking he was crazy and was just silent because the fright had him frozen in the spot. Finn lowered his head so much that his chin touched his chest. He was so embarrassed that he didn't even care about his own injured cheek.

- ...I... -

The sound of Leo's little whisper made him shut his eyes tightly. Waiting for more pain to come.

- ...I had a dream... -

Finn took a breath and slowly opened his eyes to the floor. Waiting...

- ...you remember how I said that I couldn't dream anymore? -

How could he forget? They cried terribly. It had been only yesterday when they sat here and talked about Leo's love for that old mansion and its wild horses and Finn spoke about his mother, his family, his friend, the rope... And Leo held onto his knee as he knelt before him and cried, apologizing for not having met him when he had needed a friend.

How could he forget?

He nodded slowly.

- ...well, I had a dream, and I... I really want to... make it happen. -

Finn wasn't really sure what he was planning on doing by saying all of this but he still felt a tug at the corner of his lips. He couldn't help but feel happy, even amidst all this worry, that Leo found a dream he wanted to accomplish.

- That's good, Leo. - He whispered gently, still looking down at the floor but lifting his chin from his chest a bit.

- That's not what I... No, I... I wanted to... -

It was obvious that he didn't even know what he wanted to say before he opened his mouth. But somehow... it was endearing.

- Yes? - Finn asked, lifting his chin a bit more.

- ...I don't know why but... since I had that dream I've just been thinking... weirdly, or-- not weirdly just... dif-...ferent?... I haven't been able to think clearly or act like I usually do mainly because of how... well, you... you taught me how to cry so--... and also how to speak, which is something I usually never do because I tend to keep all of that to myself and hide it away and--... That's not the point... I started telling you about this dream because it's the reason why I've been feeling so off lately and umm.... fucking words, come on. -

The sudden frustration made Finn chuckle unexpectedly. But the moment that he realized Leo had stopped talking altogether, he worried that he might've felt embarrassed, so Finn lifted his head to look at him.

However, what he found was incredibly unexpected.

Leo was almost smiling.

But the sight had been too fleeting. Next moment, Leo had been the one who lowered his head, avoiding his gaze.

- What is it that you want to tell me, Leo? - He asked, gently.

Leo took a very deep breath and leaned back against the side of the bed as if he just wanted to give up.

- So many things. - He sighed. Apparently, that's what he needed to be able to speak: Giving up. - I want to tell you so many things but I don't know how to start, which to say first, if I can say them, if it'll be appropriate; I'm still not even sure what it is exactly that I want to tell, I just know that I have things I want to say, and it's so frustrating. Before I met you, I would've never worried about how to say things; If I didn't know how to say them, I'd simply shut up and wait to forget about it. Though... that's because I was always taught "If you can't say it properly, say nothing at all"...so... I've never really been taught how to speak outside a debate or an argument. I've never... been taught how to speak my feelings. -

- To tell you the truth, I always felt disgusted whenever I felt sad. Exactly because of how everybody else in my family reacts when feelings are brought up. But still, I always felt trapped somehow. I always felt--... Well, when I was little, there was a feeling like I was trapped within myself or something. Like... I would feel sadness or even fondness and I would simply push it all down and down until one day it was simply too much and one little thing made everything explode out of me and I ended up breaking my grandmother's fine plates... It wasn't... It wasn't nice when I snapped out of it. I was just so... so angry, so incredibly enraged and I hated everything and everybody and I couldn't think of anything else. But then, once everything was out and I realized what I'd done, I felt terrible, and so the cycle began once more. That's how I've always been living. Afraid of when I'm going to explode so I always try to keep everything under my control. -

- Or I thought I did before I met you. -

Finn's breathing stopped for a moment as he listened to Leo's soft murmurs. He was talking up towards the window, but he was talking to him directly and no one else.

- I never wanted to hit you. - He said; seriously but softly. - I have never wanted to hurt you. Never. And even though I never said it, you always knew. You're... like... Your eyes can see right through me, it's a bit unnerving; because I don't know what you'll find and I... don't want you to... be frightened or something. It's like... because I always push everything down, I don't really know what's in there, and you have such an ability to make me talk. Look, I'm talking right now way more than I've ever talked in my life and I know for a fact that you'll listen even if it's all bullcrap and I'm not making myself clear in the slightest. - He chuckled a bit, but humorlessly.

- You are making yourself clear. - Finn said gently. - And everything you're saying right now is very important to me. - Unconsciously, he leaned a bit closer.

Leo looked downwards beside him as if he was looking at Finn's hand placed on the marble floor. He wasn't frowning, but he looked troubled somehow.

- That's why you always say to talk it all out. - He realized out loud. - Because you and your friend kept it all inside. -

Adrian.

- Yes. - Finn said simply and pursed his lips to concentrate on the present.

- ...If you've always been able to read people so easily--

- Not at the time. - He answered before Leo could finish his question because: That guilt? He had suffered; he didn't want to suffer it again.

But right as he had cut Leo's sentence, the latter closed his eyes with a grimace.

- No, wait, I shouldn't have said that. That sounded awful. -

So he did notice, didn't he?

Finn grinned a bit at that.

- It's good to realize when you're messing things up and why. Be a bit quicker next time and you won't have to apologize for anything. -

But even if it was a compliment and advice, Leo's eyebrows pulled tightly in the middle.

- It's still really new to me to talk about my thoughts and feelings, that's why I sometimes say things without thinking about them first. I'm sorry. -

- Thank you. I forgive you again. - He chuckled softly once more.

And, once more, Leo grimaced.

- I don't want you to have to accept my apologies. I don't want to have to apologize. I don't want to mess up. - He sighed greatly. - I don't want to be a ticking time bomb, I don't want to be a danger to you, I don't want to... have this thing inside me, I... I don't know... what I want, what I need, who I am... I don't want to be the person my parents want me to be. - He lost a breath and Finn saw as his eyes filled with tears again. - I don't want to be like my father, I don't want to live for work, I don't want to just marry and have kids, and-- I don't even want to have kids and they're already talking about which house I'm going to move into once I graduate. I don't even know if I want to graduate-- I don't even want to be a lawyer! -

He was so agitated. But Finn knew that he needed to let it all out, to cleanse away all of this pent-up frustration and anger with words, to let it all free so it wouldn't come back to punish him. So, he sat beside him, his heart aching for him, but his hands unmoving as he watched how he pulled his knees up to his chest again in distress.

Leo dug his nails into his jean-covered knees and gritted his teeth as the tears fell. And he didn't pat them dry as he continued.

- I... Every person that I've ever loved or has truly ever loved me, died... - A tremor ran down Finn's back. - And then Jungkook comes around and tells me that I'd nearly lost him too? And... you...? I nearly... I nearly never met you, I nearly... You... -

His breathing was getting cut in his throat the more he tried to speak. Like he was refusing to sob but couldn't help the tremble. He shook his head, scratched his nails down his knees, and Finn was so close to ripping his hands off him to stop him from hurting himself that he was greeting his teeth.

- Stop... hurting yourself. - Finn managed to say through gritted teeth.

Leo gasped to stay silent and stopped moving at once. Then he looked down at his own hands as if he hadn't realized what he was doing, and his mouth opened slightly. Tears stopped falling as he smoothed his claw-like clutch on his knees, and he looked up at the window once more.

- It hurts you...? -

- Yes. -

Without having to explain why, Leo understood. Finn saw it in the way he closed his mouth and swallowed, that he had understood exactly why he couldn't stand seeing a loved one being physically hurt.

- I have to tell you something. - Leo said rapidly under his breath as if he didn't want the wind to hear him.

So, Finn slid a tiny bit closer and whispered as well when he answered.

- Anything. -

Leo swallowed. He was worried, or was it... he really didn't want anyone or anything hearing him say this. What could it be?

- I... ran to the bathroom because--... because--... -

- Come on, you can say it. - Finn encouraged him. His heart had missed a bit when he realized what Leo wanted to tell him and now he wanted nothing more than to know this.

This was the crucial point somehow, the reason why Leo had reacted too strongly and then exploded against him.

- I was... - He swallowed. - ...feeling a little too different. - Finn saw he had almost said "weird" but said nothing of it. - ...what happened yesterday with me and... me grabbing onto your knee... it was... the... first time I ever felt the need to make sure someone else was there so I... that's why I grabbed you like that. But... that was only the reason why I reached out in the first place, but it wasn't--... until I was actually t-- gra--... holding onto you, that I... I was feeling--I felt... warm. - Then he blinked and opened his eyes wide. - B-because I-- It wasn't a warmth like-- No, it was-It was coming from, like, my... - However, he gave up again and sighed greatly. - It has been too long since someone has treated me gently because they wanted to and not because they were brought up to be. -

And Finn understood.

It was different to receive the gentle touch of a woman who was brought up to be gentle and loving than to receive the gentle touch of a man who shouldn't even be touching him but was breaking the rules because they wanted to touch him.

He was feeling appreciated and important, seen and heard; it was the fact that Finn shouldn't even be like this to him that made it entirely genuine, and that's where the warmth came from. Leo's heart had felt touched.

Finn smiled a little and averted his eyes. The fact that Leo felt important because of him made him feel important in return, and it had indeed been too long since someone had been like this to Finn. Maybe it was even the first time someone has been like this to him.

That only made it even more special.

- So... - Finn started; and felt Leo tensing beside him, readying himself. But Finn had never wanted to hurt him less than he did now. - You wanted to repeat that? -

For a moment there was silence... and then, a single little,

- ...yes. -

Which changed everything.

Finn wasn't to blame anymore; he had never. Leo had wanted to feel that warmth again and it startled him because it clashed against everything they've been taught. "Only the mentally ill want to touch their own gender". So he ran away and locked himself in the bathroom to breathe and think.

However... something else must've happened in the bathroom for him to want to punch him the moment he got out all wet-haired and pale.

This discussion wasn't over yet.

- And then...? - Finn encouraged him a little.

But Leo frowned.

- Then... what? -

Finn took a deep breath.

- You told me why you ran to the bathroom. But... you haven't told me why you got out of the bathroom to hit me. -

Leo flinched and worried instantaneously; his nerves firing up once again. It seemed like he was battling between speaking and staying silent, but then he blurted out under his breath,

- You were at the other side of the door. -

...oh.

Finn nearly rolled his eyes. Just another stupid thing he did out of nowhere.

He swallowed and leaned back a bit. Yes, he remembers now exactly why he had stayed on the other side.

At first, he was there because he was worried.

- I was worried. I had no idea why you left like that. -

But that wasn't entirely the truth.

And he knew Leo knew it wasn't the whole story because he saw his head tilt a little to the side. Yet, he couldn't just say the rest so easily. It had been way easier to admit why he needed to touch him... but to admit why he had wanted to stay at the other side to listen, that wasn't easy. Just the memory of it made a tremor run down his spine and give him goosebumps. He wasn't a weirdo, he didn't usually do or want to do these things like... listening to someone else getting undressed-- No, not even on an unusual day would the idea even pop up in his mind.

But he did it. He wanted to touch Leo at lunch and then stayed listening to him breathlessly getting his clothes off, there was no excuse that could save him the accusation. Maybe he was acting and reacting in these unusual ways because it was the first time in a very long time that someone else was this emotionally close to him; maybe it had been the weed he took when he was younger and now his brain was altered forever, or maybe... maybe he can't physically react to a woman anymore because it only reminds him of Livia, his ex. Or maybe it was because of all the rest and the fact that Finn had always had a soft spot in his heart with Leo's name on it that made him want to be close to him. Just maybe.

Whatever the reason might be, it all served for nothing if Leo didn't feel the same way.

However, Leo didn't ask anymore and simply answered,

- Ok. - Even though he was still frowning.

Finn knew why of course. Leo had guessed he was at the other side of the door and scratched it a little, and he answered the sound.

But Finn really did not feel strong enough to admit any of it yet just as Leo wasn't brave enough to ask, so Finn went on.

- Alright. So you got angry at the thought of me being there? -

Leo's reaction took him by surprise. Right as he finished his question, the latter sighed and rolled his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes shut. Finn was just about to say something, maybe apologize for making him uncomfortable, when Leo suddenly let his head fall back against the side of the bed and more tears fell. Just how many tears does he have left? He'll get dehydrated after tonight if he keeps on crying. But even so, yet again, he didn't pat them dry.

- I didn't get angry. - He argued.

- Frustrated? - Finn tried, wanting to help him put a word to his feelings. But Leo shook his head. - Disgusted? -

-No. - He closed his eyes.

- Something of what I did, made your anger overflow, and you exploded. -

- No! - Leo sat upright and turned to look at him directly.

The last time they looked at each other this closely, Finn was holding his face and drying his tears.

Leo's breathing stilled for a bit while Finn saw his cheeks glistening with new tears.

- I... - He began. - I was the one who made it overflow. -

Finn nodded slowly, his heart beginning to beat frantically again.

- Because you wanted to do what you did yesterday. -

- Yes. - Leo answered simply, his breathing seeming to quicken by the small but fast movement of his shoulders.

- And because I was the focal point, all the anger was then directed at me. -

Leo grimaced and averted his eyes for a moment before nodding.

- Ok. - Finn nodded along. - Thank you for telling me. I know it was very hard for you so I appreciate all the efforts you put into this honest talk. - He spoke gently, softly. Somehow, his chest began to feel warm the more he looked at him. And so he saw how this tone of voice had an impact on him. It had always been this way, but only now that they were looking directly at each other and he can see his eyes, does he realize the impact that his gentleness causes on Leo physically. So he continued for a bit, to watch for a little longer. - This was very necessary and very important to me, so thank you so much for that also. - Yes... Leo's breathing had slowed and the worry lines on his forehead had softened. - Now that we've opened up about such important things, I'm sure it's safe to say that we can be even more open with each other, can't we? - Finn smiled a little. And Leo copied the movement, looking down at his lips as he did so before looking back up at his eyes and nodding.

Yet, there was still a tinsy-tiny thing amiss: Leo's face was still tear-stained.

...maybe Finn was deluding himself when he thought this, but the thought had just magically appeared in his head: What if Leo was waiting for him to do it again?

His heart missed a bit and he called himself stupid.

But still...

Finn tilted his head tentatively as he looked at him, still smiling a little, and then... lifted his hand slowly. Leo saw it, but didn't move away; he saw it getting nearer to him and his little smile disappeared. And when the tips of Finn's fingers touched his cheek, he took in a deep breath as his eyes looked unseeingly towards the floor. Finn saw him as his own fingers caressed their way over his cheek and down his ear to finish brushing against his hair while his thumb rested itself under his eye; he saw him taking in another deep breath and sighing it out, blinking slowly before opening his eyes with another light in them. A very desperate light. A longing.

Finn swiped his tear away and felt pressure in his hand. As if Leo had pressed himself against it just a little; as if he terribly needed more. So, Finn lifted his other hand and held him just like the other one; securely but gently, letting him relax his neck. Leo sighed deeply again and closed his eyes. He looked to be in awful pain, like the relief of this gentle touch was too much for his tough skin to handle.

The toughest person Finn's ever known, it's all but a shell; one Leo had to make for himself in order to survive. But what of his heart? That was still a child's. Because he had to build his walls when he was so young, there was a separation; his feelings are not as mature as his mind. So yes, he's strong, he's tall, he can win arguments with perfect logic, but look at him right now... frowning, with his eyes shut, and tilting his head to one side to press himself against Finn's warm, gentle hand. A sheep in wolf's clothing. Forced to do what he's told and never free to grow as himself. He doesn't know what he wants in life, he barely wants to admit what he doesn't like about the things he has to do, and he's so terribly terrified of stepping out of line that he has to close his eyes so he doesn't see what he's doing.

And, what he's doing... is reaching out a hand slowly... to rest it over Finn's knee.

Rewind

Jungkook closed Finn's door behind himself and left.

What...a...day.

All he wanted to do was sleep and try not to think about anything; nor Emily not knowing anything but being suspicious, nor Garrett and his lot along with the other ones who want to talk to Taehyung and him in person who-knows-when, nor his own father and Evans and the reasons why they would be talking about something with such fury when he saw them besides the library, nor Namjoon and his knowledge of the white pavilion, nor Tom who is Tyr or Jimin whose aura was that of an abused child, he didn't even want to think of tomorrow's classes and how he would be starting to have homework. No, he simply didn't want to think anymore, he just wanted to faint and be done with it.

...truthfully... he actually did want to faint and be done with it.

The thought had come to him as nonsense but the closer he was to his own door, the closer his eyebrows pulled together. He knew it was a terrible, horrifying, disgusting, awful idea... but he was so tired, so tired, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to drift away into nothingness as he usually did when he was tired. Apparently, the fire that ignited with Leo, made him have to stick with his body. So he would be tossing and turning without any rest. And he had to wake up at 6 in the morning.

Yes, it was an awful idea... but it was an idea.

He didn't bother to take out his keys, he simply knocked on his door and waited. But it wasn't long before someone opened the door. And it wasn't Jimin.

- Hi, Kooky. -

That bloody grin on his face... Jungkook simply rolled his eyes and stepped in, pushing him aside with his elbow. Faintly, he heard a little gasp that had nothing to do with the shove, but he tried not to pay attention to him either.

Before, this one had grabbed him, hugged him, pinched him, sat on his lap, and pinned him against the floor and the chest of drawers, and even if he would apologize and look like he felt guilty, it always vanished at the end of the day.

- Your resentment never lasts long, I see. - He muttered to Tom as he left his bag on the floor by the foot of his bed and glanced at Jimin who was sitting on the floor between the nightstands looking at nothing.

Just by the other side of that wall were Leo and Finn. But his attention was taken away by Tom once more.

- Of course not. It's part of my personality. - Even if he couldn't see him, he could hear his grin clearly. And, for some reason, it sounded like a full-face smile.

For Jungkook, after knowing Tom was actually a long-lost E.V.I, everything he did now was questionable. This morning, Jungkook had been so tired that he had acted stupidly when the "reunion" happened, just to get out. But right now...

- Why are you smiling so much? - He asked with greeted teeth, still giving his back to him.

- Why are you suddenly afraid of when I smile or not? -

- How do you know I'm afraid? -

- Ah... - Tom sighed as if remembering something. - That's right... you were here this morning. -

Jungkook rolled his eyes at this absurdity and turned around to face him. But Tom suddenly leaped forwards with a huge smile and pushed him by the shoulders. The back of his knees hit the edge of his bed and he fell backward. Tom, who was over him, simply folded each leg by his hips and sat upon his lap, leaving his hands to rest over his stomach.

Jungkook was so shocked... but then he wasn't. He groaned and rolled his eyes in exasperation before leaving his arms by his head. He didn't even tell him to move away, but he was truly reconsidering his previous wish of fainting so he could finally rest. With the way Tom likes to have his way with him, maybe it wouldn't be wise to be unconscious with him around.

- What, no fighting today? - Tom teased him.

But Jungkook simply took advantage of his attention and looked up at him to ask seriously.

- Why are you so happy? - It was a serious question, no taunting, no fighting. Tom tilted his head to the side a little. - It's obvious that I'm tired out of my mind and it doesn't seem like Jimin had changed that much since I last saw him, so tell me, why are you so happy? - Silence greeted his question, so he tried again. - Is it because you were finally found? ...Tyr? -

Tom let himself fall forwards and placed each hand by his head. His smile had turned malicious somewhat and he was tilting his head this way and that, looking at him intently.

- So... you're The Rose, huh? - His smile grew and he chuckled. - No wonder I always liked you so much. -

Jungkook swallowed, not really knowing how to react when addressed thus still; not yet believing it fully either.

- What's me being The Rose have anything to do with you liking me? -

Tom snickered and slid his hands higher over Jungkook's head so he could lean down closer to him, while Jungkook pressed his head closer to the bed.

- I only get this attracted to old souls, you dummy. And since the day I met you, (which was a week ago, we should celebrate), I've always felt this pulsating energy trying to get out of you. But you're always pushing it back in, and I just want you to let it out and let me feel it. - He sighed and almost leaned all the way down... but stopped himself when Jungkook turned his head away. Then he went back up and sat on his lap like before.

Now everything made even more sense.

- So, in truth, - Jungkook began. - You're attracted to this "energy" and so you've been bugging me and telling me that you want to break me so I could be myself because you wanted me to "let it free"... so you could be satisfied? - He scoffed. - I was right, you were doing all of this for your own benefit. -

- Think whatever you want. - Tom grinned. - I know where my heart lies. Yes, I do have a heart, don't look at me like that. I indeed said that I wanted you to let it out so I could feel it, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't be beneficial to you as well. -

- You say you wanted to feel it. - Jungkook grimaced up at him. - And yet, I don't know what energy you say I'm keeping inside nor what you mean when you say you wanted to "feel" it. -

Tom grinned.

- If you wanted me to explain it to you, all you had to do was ask, baby. -

Jungkook closed his eyes in exasperation but said nothing else when he reopened them.

- They did tell me that you only knew the basics. - Tom chuckled again. - If I'm not mistaken, you haven't talked to Aloisia yet about yourself. - Jungkook only had to frown in confusion for him to nod. - Yes, you don't know. That's alright, dear, I'll tell you a little of what I know. -

- You're sure getting bold with these nicknames, aren't you? - Jungkook was this close to pushing him off.

But Tom only chuckled and didn't pay attention to what he said.

- It's because you're feeling differently right now. And I really like it. - His voice dropped down, nearly growling. - You have me like a purring kitten right now. - He sure looked like one, with those blue eyes and sharp canines. - But anyhow, let me tell you this before I get distracted again. Are you ready? - Jungkook just looked dubious at him. Then Tom leaned down once more; sliding his hands towards his chest, he held himself up as he bent his elbows and leaned closer until he was right next to his ear to whisper. - Your soul... is one of the oldest souls in the entire world, my dear Rose. -

Jungkook's breathing stopped, for once not caring for his closeness.

One of the oldest... He didn't even know how old an old soul might be but... "the oldest soul" sounded like too many years. What does that mean? What does it imply? What can he do with this information other than be puzzled and frightened?

Is that why they're looking for him? Is this why they need him? Is the mirror around himself stopping him from connecting with his own soul? What would happen once he reconnects with it? Are they looking for him because his soul is guarding something important or is he the one guarding the important thing which is his soul?

What does Taehyung have to do with this? Why is he dragged along if he -Jungkook- is the one they want?

Is he even more acquainted with the Darkness if he's the oldest soul? Have they met before?

Too many questions, too many questions, too much tiredness of mind for so many questions.

One at a time.

- ...why... do you only like old souls...? - He whispered. His mind was too confused to even tell him to get away, and still, he said nothing when Tom pressed his forehead against his temple and sighed against his ear.

- It's like wine, I guess. -

Wine again. What a night.

- Explain it better. - Jungkook demanded and awfully felt Tom getting really comfortable. Sliding his arms over his head against the bed and folded them so his lips were closer to his neck as he rested his forehead against the bed and his chest against Jungkook's. Too fucking close, he was too fucking close. - Get...off of me. -

- Shhhh... - Tom sighed, not caring at all. - I'll explain it better. Mhh... have you read Harry Potter? -

- I don't read fantasy books much. -

- How boring of you. Anyway, there's a scene in the second book where the protagonist and his friends go to a ghost party. In this ghost party the only type of food there is rotten food, so the kids ask the ghosts why that is and they explain that for them to be able to taste anything, they have to let it rot. - Then he sighed greatly once more and nuzzled the tip of his nose against his neck. - I'm not saying you're rotten food for me, it's just an analogy. Old souls have much more feelings "stewed" in them, so... when I'm close to them... I can feel. It's not physical or emotional, it's something more, something deeper, something... I lack. So that's why I like you. You're the oldest and, from what I remember of the stories they used to tell us, you haven't had it easy at all, so you have very strong feelings inside of you. For me, you're like a king's feast at the other side of a closed window, and I'm starving. -

Jungkook trembled at the near growl right below his ear and laid as still as a rock. Those fangs were too close to his jugular for comfort.

But... he was still confused about so many things.

- ...why are you starving? Starving for what? I don't get it. -

Tom chuckled.

- Silly little Kooky... Would you like me to explain even more to you, baby? -

- Stop calling me that. - He argued, but it was merely an angry whisper.

- I won't. If you don't like it, don't pay attention to it, but I won't stop, baby. -

Jungkook just wanted to rip his own ears off, but then Tom suddenly straightened and sat up. He was still wearing his grin and looking down on him as he pinned him down by the lap, and, without a second of warning, Jungkook was simply able to see him reach his hands up behind his head before he knew what he intended to do.

- Don't. - Jungkook warned as he closed his eyes and placed his hands over his face. All he heard was a snicker and the sound of fabric being tossed to the floor.

Tom had taken off his own shirt.

- Don't be shy. I'm sure this isn't your first time. -

- What the fuck are you doing? -

- Trying to explain things to you. -

- What is it that you want to explain to me? - He was horrified. What is happening? What is he intending to do? Why isn't Jimin stopping him this time?

- I want to show you the Markings. - He chuckled.

But... "the Markings"? Garrett had talked about them to him, didn't he?

Even then, if Tom had those tattoos on his chest or something, he wouldn't have needed to take off his shirt. Jungkook greeted his teeth but obliged, taking his hands off his face and opening his eyes.

It was such an uncomfortable feeling having a shirtless man straddling his lap so shamelessly when his whole being belonged to someone else. Tom had a wonderful body, that's for sure, almost like his own, slim and muscly, looking very light and strong, but even then, nothing sparked in Jungkook other than being uncomfortable. However, this feeling was fastly overshadowed when he noticed--... but... those weren't like Garrett's...?

Garrett's Markings were inked black as if they were brand-new tattoos, but these are... gray. As if dark graphite had marked his pale white skin and someone else had tried to erase them; only the shadow of a mark was left.

He frowned the more he looked. They were all different in sizes and designs, but the same in shape. Circles enclosing a design of their own.

One, two, three, four... Seven Markings.

Weren't there seven Markings in total?

And shouldn't this more than serious and important conversation be happening with someone that wasn't Tom?

- This one right here... - Tom started to explain as he pointed to the one closest to his neck. Where his right collarbone ended and started his chest was a circle of about four fingers wide. - Is the Joker Core. In the original language, it's not called "Joker", more of a Trickster, Fool, or Entertainer, but this time, they're called the Joker's Core. -

To be honest, this was very interesting and Jungkook wanted to know more regardless of whether or not he was tired. But he couldn't see it clearly from this angle.

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling for what he was about to do... and went for it. Jungkook pulled himself up by his elbows and then slowly sat upright.

...Tom's bare skin was too close for his liking.

- Could you move back a bit? -

- Why don't you move me? - Tom teased with a grin and an audible purr in his voice. The middle of his chest was right in front of Jungkook's face, but even if he greeted his teeth and looked away, he still left his own hands on the bed. - Alright then. - Tom chuckled and leaned back.

What Jungkook wanted him to do was to get off, but since that wouldn't happen, he had hoped for him to at least slide back, closer to his knees. However, what this brat ended up doing was leaning back and resting his hands on his knees, arching his back inwards comfortably, and looking awfully flirty.

Jungkook rolled his eyes.

- Do you really have no self-respect? -

- I don't do this for just anybody. Go ahead, take a look, Kooky. - That grin was still on his face. Unbelievable.

But Jungkook just sighed and looked at the Markings. As if this was just a wall and he was looking at a painting.

It was a rather interesting design. Neither simple nor complex, there were lines, circles, curves, swirls, and dots, but everything seemed to fit in nicely.

- Tell me about it. - Jungkook demanded when suddenly he felt a movement on the bed coming from behind him. He turned to look and found Jimin sitting there with one knee folded over the bed and the other still straight towards the floor. He wasn't looking up, but down at his own hands over his ankle. - Jimin? -

- Shhh... - Tom hushed him and then gently grabbed a hold of his face to turn it back to him. He had never held his face like this before, so Jungkook was rather stunned when he heard him whisper, - Don't look at him. - And then, with a louder voice, he said to Jimin. - You can go on, Jimin. Come here. - Then once again he looked at Jungkook and whispered to him. - He was gathering the courage to come closer, don't ask him anything. -

Just as Tom softly let go of his face, at last, Jungkook felt the bed moving again. It wasn't long until finally, he knew what Jimin had been wanting to do. Be closer to them. He moved closer to Jungkook from behind and then, timidly, rested his forehead over his shoulder.

- Is Jimin... one of you as well? - Jungkook asked. But Tom shook his head with a little smile and leaned back once more.

- No, he isn't. But you must understand something first: Anybody can be a descendant of us, but the things that make one a part of the tribe are the Markings. Just like a kid from the outside can be born with a Marking, a kid from the inside can be born... without one. - He lowered his gaze as he sighed. But then looked up again. - I think Garrett was from the outside because I don't remember him being there when I was. -

- What's "the outside"? -

- Anywhere outside the tribes' grounds. And also, we are one people, but there are many tribes around the world; and each has its own unique way of Markings. For example, I think it was the... ummm... I think it was the tribes from South America that have the sharp edges on their Markings, and then theeee ummm, the ones from Asia have the simplest markings, yes. Like, instead of having a lot of lines, they have three or just a dot, things like that. The ones in North America have the most elaborate ones, I do remember that. But for me, the most awesome ones were from South America because their Markings have animals in them; like, the outlines from animals but with sharp edges, I really like those. But these ones... - He looked down at himself and then up at him again. - Our tribe has the original Markings from the First Teacher. They have changed from tribe to tribe because of the energy in their lands, but because of our formal residence--... I mean, because the formal residence is what once was the First Teacher's residence as well, thousands of years ago, we still carry the ones he drew himself. -

- You don't consider yourself a part of them? - Jungkook lifted an eyebrow. He had heard the hesitancy in his voice when he said "our".

- No, it's not that. - He shook his head a little. - It's just been too long so I don't know how they feel about me suddenly reappearing. -

Well... this was certainly something Jungkook never thought about. Tom seemed to be feeling guilty about the situation so he wasn't sure if he would be taken in by his people or not. As sad as it sounds, he should feel a little guilty for not having come back all these years, not even to tell them that he was fine or that he had another family; he simply stayed vanished.

- Anyway... - Ton cleared his throat. - This one is the Lover Core. - He pointed this time towards the one right over his heart; to the left side of his chest but closer to the center. This one looked rather pitiful and abused, not only did it look like the drawing of a pen that ran out of ink, it looked bruised in one of the corners. There really was a purple bruise there.

- How did you get that? - Jungkook asked with a frown. It was a rather strange bruise. It looked like the bruises one gets on the kneecaps but it was in his chest, and it was only one.

- Hmm... - Tom grimaced for the first time as he looked down at it. - Yes, that tends to happen. It wasn't me, it's the Marking itself that does it. I'm still not quite sure why that happens since I never thought it could because, well, I left quite young and this wasn't a common topic; but I'm very sure it comes from the Marking itself. Sometimes it's a bruise here, others over there; in very awful times, the whole Marking turns into a terrible bruise that looks like I've broken something. - Then he looked up and suddenly stared right into his eyes. - This is also why I don't want to get off. - Jungkook frowned, so he explained. - When a bruise appears, it means I need love. -

...that's rather sad.

- So... the Lover Core is very needy. - Jungkook tried playing it off as he looked somewhere other than him.

Tom laughed.

- You could say so, yes. - It seemed there was an inner joke Jungkook didn't know of. - But they're also very... lovely? I don't really know how else to describe it. But I do know that, out of all seven Cores, there are only two that are spiritually very important to all tribes: the Wisdom Core and the Lover Core. And that is because the original creator was a Wisdom Core and their lover was Lover Core. History of the tribe 101. - He did a thumbs up and then straightened up again, getting his chest closer to Jungkook's face by default. - Look at it. -

He needn't have leaned closer for him to be able to see it clearly since it was about the size of a male fist. Or the size of Tom's heart, by the looks of it.

This one was quite pretty... very pretty... the more he looked at it, the more he seemed to like it. It was drawn with soft edges and gentle curves, quite like a flower but somehow also exotic. The points where the petals would touch the edges were delicate but everything gave a sense of security; a balance between beauty and strength. Somehow, he liked this one very much.

- You can kiss it if you want to. -

It wasn't until he heard Tom's deep voice close to his ear that he noticed just how close he had gotten to that Marking, and therefore, his bare chest.

Jungkook leaned away at once and looked up at him in alarm, also feeling the weight on his shoulder disappear. Apparently, he had startled Jimin, but he couldn't focus on that right now.

- Is that thing cursed or something? - Jungkook asked seriously because, why else would he go into a trance-like state when looking at it?

However, Tom chuckled at his reaction.

- Not as far as I know. -

Jungkook rolled his eyes in exasperation.

- I should be talking about this with Garrett instead of you. -

- Shut up. - Tom said with a laugh and simply went on, pointing at another one. This was the smallest one, about the size of a large coin. - This is the Elder Core, it's quite rare so, even if you asked Garrett about it, all he could do would be to try to draw it. But, here you have it. - He smiled wide and leaned a bit forwards as if he was trying to be praised by him.

- ...Elder? - Jungkook frowned, confused by these names. Do they actually describe the meaning of the Core or were these names just an easy translation of a long-lost tongue?

- Yes, Elder. - It was right in the middle of his chest, right on that dent made when his abs began, so the lines of it weren't really easy to see. - I don't really know much about it, to be honest. All I know is that there are always seven Elder Cores and no more. Every time one dies, one is born and taught to be part of the circle and so on. The leader of the tribe is one of the seven and the rest are always there in every discussion. Each is the Elder of one Core so their position goes before the head of that core, but they're not the ones who make the final decisions so I don't really know why they're so important, but they're there. - He shrugged.

He had to give it to him, Tom was really giving it his all to tell him everything he knew. The process could be a little uncomfortable and all, but Jungkook was still able to appreciate the knowledge.

- You were born with this or... - Jungkook asked as he looked at all the circles.

- Yes, that's what differentiates us. We are born with a black dot right here. - He pointed to the middle of the next Marking. It was the biggest one, and yet, it wasn't larger than a tea plate, maybe even a bit smaller than that. But the lines of this one were of a darker gray than the others, and there was indeed a dot right in the middle where all the other lines ignite from. - When we're infants, it looks like a mole, so that's why normal families never think there's anything amiss; but as we grow into toddlers, this mark grows. A second ring would appear around the dot, and then, as the ring moves and grows in size, the other lines start drawing themselves. It's a... quite an unpleasant shock for these families, to say the least. -

- But somehow, the clan nearest to one of these children is notified (I don't know how) and they look for them. A lot of the time, their families abandon them, but there are very special cases where the families are open-minded and they accept the fact that their child was born to be part of a "magical tribe". - He smiled a bit at the thought but then looked away thinking. Until he muttered, - I guess that's what happened with Garrett. Since he was from the outside, then a clan went for him and took him in. But how he ended up in the Official Grounds, that I don't know. -

- What do you mean by "Official Grounds" -The more he asked, the more he'll know.

Tom looked down at him again.

- Children that come from the outside, aren't taken to the grounds where the leader of the clan lives, they're taken to another one much more adapted to these kinds of kids. But since he was with Hoseok and Yoongi and they live in the Official Grounds, I'm only guessing he was taken there; which is not usual so I'm curious. - But then he shrugged one shoulder and, as he pointed again to that same Marking, Jungkook felt Jimin gently placing his forehead against his shoulder again. - This is the placement of our Soul's Core so that's why this is the first Marking. And this Marking, my Marking, is the Shadow Core. Or Assassin Core, which I like better; but since we're not in the fifteen hundreds anymore, there's no swagger. - He sighed.

But this piece of knowledge made a tremor run down Jungkook's back.

- You mean to tell me that... I have an assassin on my lap...? -

- Absolutely. - Tom smiled widely, showing off his sharp canines. - But I'm not trained so I don't kill just because. - He shrugged.

- Why should that make me feel better? - Jungkook frowned, feeling increasingly trapped.

- Because that means I don't kill just anybody successfully. - He chuckled. But then he stopped and said. - Oops... yeah, you're right Jimin, I was wrong. I have done it successfully. But only once. -

...apparently, Jimin had shaken his head and Jungkook hadn't realized it.

He wasn't smiling or frowning and his body ran cold with how still he sat there looking up at Tom.

- ...you've killed. - ...Could he believe it? He didn't want to believe it. Please, don't let him believe it.

- Only one. - Tom shrugged. Shrugged. - And he deserved it, didn't he, Jiminy? -

- ...yes...-

It was the fact that Jimin actually answered that made Jungkook say,

- Alright then, goodnight. -

It was officially too much and he was officially frightened by these two people, including Jimin.

- Wait. - Tom sighed and took him by the upper arms to still him. Securely but gently. - I won't kill you. - He said slowly, trying to reassure him, but Jungkook has never been less reassured. Tom saw this and rolled his eyes before saying again. - Look, you're The Rose, I can't kill you. -

Jungkook squinted his eyes.

- Nice to know you need me so much that you won't kill me. - He said, sarcastically. But Tom genuinely laughed and let go to point at another Marking.

All while Jungkook's mind was still thinking of the weight on his shoulder coming from Jimin's head. The fact that he had corrected Tom and admitted outright that he had killed somebody... Even if it could've been the person who hurt Jimin, it still made a tremor run down his spine.

It had been so easily said just now that he can't really believe it yet. Killing somebody... He grimaced.

- This one's the Healer Core. -

Jungkook tried to get his mind off the previous thought and focused on this Marking. It was about the size of an egg and was placed on the right side of the ribcage.

- Garrett is Healer Core. - Jungkook mused out loud. This was not a simple drawing, rather more full of lines than the others and full of sharp edges. Was this Garrett's Soul Core?

- Then he should have it here. - Tom pointed at his Shadow Core, right in the middle of the midriff, over his belly button, and below the little Elder Core.

- Wait, didn't you say there are only seven Elder Cores? Wouldn't they've noticed the seventh was missing if you have it? - He looked up at him frowning, but Tom actually averted his gaze uncomfortably for once.

- I... don't really know if I'm the seventh or... - His voice drifted off and then he sighed before looking back down at him. This time, he finally slid back, closer to his knees as if... ashamed? - ...these Markings shouldn't look like this. - Oh... - The Markings appear in specific places of the body: The thighs, abdomen, forearms, and the back over the spine. Each place gives meaning to that Marking as well and... the lines are of deep black color. Also, they're all the same size. So these... I don't really know what they are, to be honest. The Markings are a visual representation of our souls and are there to channel all our cosmic energy outwards, but even though I have all seven (and that's kind of... impossible really; having all seven), I haven't felt even a spec of cosmic power in me. -

- Also... I was born without Markings. The dot on my Shadow Core appeared after I ran away and it hadn't stopped painting itself when another dot appeared, and then another one. All of them, except the Shadow Core, appeared in a place they shouldn't have; they're all different sizes and their color is a fading gray instead of black. I have no idea what I am. - He shook his head and looked down, thinking. - I only know that I can only feel the warmth come from within when I'm in the company of an old soul or a person with very strong emotions, otherwise, I'm physically always cold and emotionally apathetic. You came and made me go crazy, I blame you. - He chuckled humorlessly. But Jungkook didn't. - Everything I said that night about your art and your smile and that you're the prettiest, that's all true. I just couldn't downright tell you that your soul was what I needed the most, I couldn't show you these Markings or tell you their meaning, but now I can, and you understand or at least you have to since you're The Rose. - Now, he was as happy as before again; an excitement growing as the light in his eyes returned and he leaned a bit closer to him again.

But Jungkook's mind was in disarray, working overtime in trying to piece everything together.

So... There are seven Cores: Elder, Wisdom, Lover, Joker, Shadow, Healer, and Warrior. The Markings are a visual representation of the cosmical energy they have within which helps them channel that same energy outwards, like magic. The placement of the Markings is specific: thighs, forearms, stomach, and back; and each placement gives off a different meaning to the Core. The E.V.Is are only the ones who are born with that black dot on their abdomen, they live in secret tribes that all come from the same "Teacher", and depending on the place of birth, the Markings will be different. The "Official Grounds" are where the leader of the clan lives with the other six Elder Cores and the heads of each Core. Kids from "the outside" aren't usually taken to these special grounds but to other clans more specialized in taking them in. As a side note, it appears that Garrett was one of those kids but somehow managed to get to the Official Grounds, and... the one Jungkook had believed had been his genetic father was, apparently, an adoptive one.

Alright... Alright...

- Alright, - He sighed greatly. - Thank you for telling me all this, it's really helpful. I would've liked it better if you would've respected my boundaries, but I guess that's just wishful thinking since you're "starving for the love of this eldest soul". - He made quotation marks and gave a sarcastic smile, but Tom smiled back at him and nodded in approval. - Ok... Get off now. -

- Oh, but we haven't talked about Wisdom and Warrior. - Tom sulked a little.

However, Jungkook shook his head.

- No more tonight, I'm very tired, I just want to sleep. We have classes tomorrow. - He tried rushing him away by gesturing with his hands.

- I bet you're awfully tired. - Tom snickered a bit darkly. As if he knew something...

Jungkook squinted his eyes.

- What? -

- Aw, nothing. - He shrugged, sarcastically. - Just wondering what you love birds did tonight for your energy to feel like this. -

- ...like what? - His curiosity was such that he couldn't even feel disgusted at his wonderings.

Tom smiled widely as he answered.

- Like a bull ready to get out of his box and break everything that stands in his way. - His chest expanded as he took in a deep breath and then raised his hand to brush his fingers through Jungkook's hair, sighing. - You've been ready to explode since you got here, but it seems like every day something happens. As if you're pricked with a needle over and over again; only hurting you enough to be enraging. - In a flash, Tom rushed closer and kissed him tightly on the cheek for a good two seconds before letting go audibly and standing up at last. All while Jungkook sat there, stunned. - I sincerely cannot wait to see what happens when you've had enough. - Finished Tom with an excitement that only made Jungkook feel like a ticking time bomb.

Nothing that makes Tom smile like that, could be anything good.

Jimin stood up as well. The absence of his head's weight on Jungkook's shoulder was so noticeable that he looked behind himself. He saw him standing and simply taking two steps across the room to his own bed before sliding inside the covers without even changing his clothes, and then, he turned the other way, to give his back to him.

Jungkook didn't know how to react to this and, as he thought of it, Tom also slid into Jimin's bed, still shirtless but wearing his jeans and socks. And he saw him getting comfortable, pushing up the blankets, and hugging Jimin close to him.

Only then did Jungkook realize that he should be going to sleep as well.

In a daze, he went to the bathroom, got ready for bed, and then slid inside his sheets to sleep, turning the light of his nightstand off.

He tried to sleep... He tossed and turned and really did try to sleep... But now, another thing entirely was keeping him restless.

In the darkness, he could feel his hands on his skin. Taehyung... A dark room illuminated by moonlight carried a deeper meaning to him now; a meaning connected to his heart and body. Jungkook tried to think of nothing, but his mind always went back to him and the way he had held him, the way he had touched him, the way he had made him feel... like he was the most special person in this world; like he was flawless, perfect, beautiful... It had truly been such a magical moment for both of them.

But there was something else; something that made the corners of his mouth turn down and his vision blurry.

He felt so lonely.

And all he could think about as he tried to sleep with an obstruction in his throat was that it would've been quite lovely... if they had been able to hug each other thru the whole night.

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🌼Thank you for reading Chapter 60 <3<3<3

<3<3<3Happy 1 year and 3 months with DEMOCRITUS <3<3<3

Your devoted writer,

Ela Shadow Rose 🥀

Go ahead with the next Chapter ->->->