Iuvo

Please

Once Jungkook was done with his warm shower, he was as calm as a denying person could be; smelling fresh, and feeling clean.

Ruffling his damp hair, he walked out of the bathroom towards the gym to find Leo and Finn.

It took him some time and some walking around until he finally went to ask the reception and she told him they had asked for the keys to room 01. So, he headed that way, glancing at a fair few people working out, but no one doing anything incredible to stare at, so, once he got to the room he was looking for, he knocked.

And the moment he did, laughter came from the other side.

He grinned, curious, and leaned in a bit to listen.

- How the hell are you going to get up from there? - Leo asked Finn, no doubt, with an audible chuckle.

- It's just a split. I simply have to do this. - Finn answered as if shrugging. Then, he must've done something amazing because Leo gasped loudly.

- How did you... -

Finn's laughter could be heard as he neared the door until he opened it at last.

- Oh, you're completely done. - He said, wide-eyed as he looked down at Jungkook's normal clothes instead of the gym ones he was wearing before.

- Yep. - He said with a nod to then look behind him at Leo sitting on a mat with his legs straight in front of him. And he gave him a nod. - How's the wound, pal? -

- Feeling like shit, mate. - He shook his head with his lips pursed. Jungkook sighed as Finn turned to look concernedly back at Leo.

- Go take a cold shower, then. - Jungkook advised him with a quick motion of his hand.

- Fine then. - He shrugged but otherwise did nothing.

He could've sworn he saw Finn trying to erase a grin from his face.

Jungkook lifted his eyebrows at Leo as he waited at the door, and then, once Leo did nothing but look back at him, he said,

- ...Now. -

- Oh, you mean now? - Leo's eyes went wide as he pointed toward the floor with a finger.

There was no mistaking, Finn was absolutely trying not to laugh.

- You can't get up, do you? - Jungkook asked with half an amused grin for Leo to immediately scoff at him.

- Can't get up? Me? Please, of course, I can, I just... don't want to right now. -

Jungkook rolled his eyes with a chuckle and then looked back at Finn who was pursing his grinning lips, and he asked him.

- You'll help him, won't you? -

- Of course. - He answered in a small little chuckle as he gave him a look and then looked back at Leo to shake his head.

Once more, Jungkok felt endearment at the sight for some unknown reason.

- Ok then, I'll be going now. - He said to the pair of them. But then Leo's eyes lost some of their humor as he looked back at him with annoyance.

- What? to Taehyung? - He said his name like it was an insult and Jungkook went immediately on the defensive. But then he remembered that it was Leo and this was simply how he was, so he merely shrugged and joked back.

- Yeah, you know me, I just looove it when I'm being lectured. - He chuckled, but Leo scoffed down at the floor. The joke hadn't worked, so he tried with honesty instead. - Did you seriously just forget what I told you yesterday? - About Taehyung helping him as Finn did to Leo. But Leo simply scoffed again, as if it was of no importance compared to everything else. And that's when Jungkook understood. Because, for him, he was still a teacher who was close to his father. Even if he tried harder to be there than Leo had ever done, for him it simply looked like he was doing it as part of the job. And Jungkook hadn't realized this because he genuinely believed Leo had understood at last. But he believed wrong, it seemed. - Look, Leo, he can truly be cool to talk to when he's not being a teacher, I swear. -

- Yeah, yeah, I get it. - He dismissed him and simply kept on looking at the floor (since he couldn't simply get up and leave).

Jungkook sighed. He had been relieved when he believed Leo had accepted Taehyung by some degree, but apparently accepting new people isn't as easy for--

Jungkook glanced at Finn and his body tensed slightly before looking back at Leo.

- Hey, why are you complaining, huh? Just who am I standing next to, you possessive little boy? -

Leo snapped his stare back up at him and he glanced between him and Finn until he simply grimaced at what seemed to be a lot of thoughts at once and then waved his hand in dismissal again.

- Ok, I get it. -

Now, it sounded genuine. Even if he still looked a bit tense and annoyed. But it was enough for Jungkook, so he gave him a nod that he didn't see and then glanced back at Finn.

- See you later. - He said as he gave a pat on Finn's shoulder and left straight towards the exit of the gym.

He walked through the corridors with a satisfied tired body while his mind felt clogged once more. Unmoving, unthinking, it was simply liberating to be able to not think and take in the sights and not think anything further but shapes and colors, and that's it. It was in these kinds of moments that he understands why stupid people are so happy, it's because they're not analyzing everything that passes through their senses.

He knows that there will come a point where his brain will be calm enough to once again try to take in all those thoughts from before, and it was exactly for that reason that he was heading straight towards Taehyung, because, even if they had agreed on meeting at four in the afternoon, he couldn't fathom the scary idea of having another panic attack without him there to help him.

So he waited beside the black glass doors for any teachers to be either entering or leaving. He thought he would be waiting for a while given how it was a Sunday, but it wasn't more than fifteen seconds before someone opened it.

However, it was a familiar face.

- Oliver. - He smiled at the sight of him.

At once, the man stopped and looked around to see him. Jungkook saw at that moment that the door had closed, but he didn't mind as he saw Oliver smiling at him.

- Oh, Jungkook, my boy, how are you today? - He seemed truly happy to see him there as he walked forward and changed his briefcase from one hand to another so he could grab his shoulder. Yet, Jungkook could see the worry behind the honest smile.

He smiled back at him a bit lip-tied.

- Much better, sir. Thank you. -

- Are you really? - He asked with emotion, lifting his eyebrows to look at him fully. Jungkook let out a chuckle. It was a relief to have him near, and the moment he had grabbed his shoulder it was like a weight had been pulled off of him.

- Yes. Just now, I came from the gym. -

- That's wonderful, yes. - He nodded, seeming proud of him. - And you're eating well? -

- Yes, sir, I am. -

- That's very good. Have you been painting or reading as well? -

Jungkook's smile wavered as he thought.

- Drawing, yes, but not as much. Only because a lot of things have been happening lately. -

Oliver nodded with sorrowful understanding before taking a step closer to him to say in a gentle voice.

- For anything you need, son, you can come to me. Anything at all; a pencil number two, a cup and some chatting, a place to be alone for a while; my door is always open to you, son. -

Jungkook smiled. His chest felt tight, his eyes prickled a bit, and he was just immensely sad at the thought of not being able to hug him; to thank him with a hug. When was the last time he heard those words? Not only the pain of it burned in his chest, but also the thought of simply how natural it had sounded when he had called him "son".

To think that this wasn't his real father brought a lump to his throat.

But he smiled as gratefully as he could.

- Thank you. - He opened his mouth to say something else but... didn't know what. So he closed it and simply smiled.

Oliver smiled as if he knew exactly how he felt and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder before letting go with a satisfied nod.

- I take it you were waiting for the door to open? -

- Yeah. - Jungkook chuckled as he put his hands inside his pockets.

- Well then. - He smiled back as he took his card from his pocket and opened the door for him. But he spoke again before Jungkook could step in. - Going to Taehyung's? - Jungkook nodded, lip-tied and a bit tense. However, at the sight of Oliver's grin turning to a worried frown, he let his lips go in concern. - A bit of warning. I think... I think Taehyung's not having a great morning so far. -

- Why? - He asked immediately, his shoulders tensing up in concern as his hands went to either side of him. Muscle memory readying for the attack.

- Right when the elevator doors were closing, I heard something shattering and him cursing loudly. If you still just want to be in here, I always leave a key beneath the welcome mat at my door. Just leave the door wide open and I'll know you're there. - He confided in him with a wink and a pat on the shoulder before finally taking a step back. - Good day, my boy. -

- You too. - Jungkook nodded in earnest as he stepped in and went straight to the elevator. He had to go up with two female teachers that were talking about something he didn't pay attention to until he finally walked out straight to Taehyung's door.

However, for the first time ever, he felt a bit hesitant to knock. So, instead, he leaned in to press his ear to the door and see if he could hear anything. But he couldn't. So, at last, he knocked.

He stood stiffly, his breathing a bit uneven as he waited, looking around in sudden fear. He was on edge, it was terrible. When finally, the door opened.

- Yes? - Taehyung asked politely before he saw Jungkook. Once he realized who it was, however, his eyes went wide as his breath got cut in his throat and he took a step back so he could get in hastily.

Jungkook did and the door was closed at once. In that one second where he had stepped in, Jungkook looked around, yet the only thing he could see were the broken pieces of a mug in the middle of the living room, scattered far and wide as if Taehyung had actually thrown it violently. Only one second he had to see that before Taehyung took him by the shoulders as gently as his hurrying movements could allow before taking him into a tight, desperate hug.

- Tae? - Jungkook asked in deep worry as he felt Taehyung's shaking frame hugging him desperately tight. As fast as he could, he took off his bag and left it somewhere on the floor so he could hug Taehyung back as hard as he needed him to.

He could smell his fresh scent and feel the slight dampness of his hair, so he knew he had just taken a shower. He was wearing a white cotton t with blue jeans and white socks, but the shaking wasn't due to coldness even if the place was chilly. So, Jungkook tried again.

- My Love... -

- I hate him. - He answered at last. But the loathing in his voice was something Jungkok had never heard in his entire life, and it chilled him to the bones. - I hate him, I hate him, I've never hated anyone so badly, I hate him for making me hateful, Goddamit. - He muttered into Jungkook's neck, hugging him tighter every second.

Jungkook brushed his hair with his fingers and kissed the helix of his ear, trying to distract him soothingly with little kisses down the neck, as he held him tightly with one arm. It took some time and some very deep breaths for Taehyung to finally start loosening his tight grip. And once he did, Jungkook let go, grabbing his arms and sliding his hands down until he intertwined their fingers and finally looked up at his face.

Taehyung was looking back at him with so much sorrow towards him and hatred for someone else.

As gently as he could, Jungkook finally asked.

- What happened? - He said with a nod towards the broken pieces on the floor some paces away from them.

Taehyung turned his head to look at those pieces with a grimace on his lips before he finally said.

- Jeon Yungsoo used that cup. - He let go of his hands and turned around as he muttered. - I'll be right back. - And headed to the bathroom.

Jungkook stood frozen on the spot.

Taehyung hated his father so much that he had cut away any blood connections to him and simply said his name. Loathingly so. With pent-up violence in his stare.

But Taehyung was not a violent person, he was a protective person, so this hatred towards his father couldn't have been because the man had done something to Taehyung. This hatred must be because his father had said something against him -Jungkook- that had angered Taehyung to breaking point.

They must've had the conversation Jungkook had foreseen, about what had happened yesterday on their outing. Could his father have told Taehyung about the time a story like that one took place? He didn't think his father would actually chit-chat with Taehyung, but maybe the men he had sent off to follow him had returned with nothing but satisfactory information. Maybe he does want Taehyung to be his friend. They knew this was part of the plan but... Taehyung's hatred was never foreseen.

Taehyung got back from the bathroom with a broom and dustpan. They had bought those yesterday, along with that same cup. Jungkook simply stood still as he watched Taehyung working in equal silence. He was oozing so much anger that it was stressful.

Jungkook couldn't stand still anymore so, instead, he went straight to the dinner table and started organizing the papers there. Not in one big pile, but simply organizing the piles that were already there to look neater and placing heavy objects over them so they wouldn't ruffle again. He straightened the papers and the folders, finding out that they were class-objective folders and also that he had done way more work than necessary since next week seemed to be already... ready. He also straightened the computer and the spectacles beside them. But then, the movement to the laptop made it light up which grabbed his attention because of the bright screen showing a colorful calendar from... next year? Was Taehyung so desperate to work on anything this morning? And then the bed, all ruffled up as well like he had woken up--...

Like he had woken up from a nightmare and immediately went to find anything to occupy his mind.

Jungkook looked up to find Taehyung returning from the bathroom after leaving the broom back where it was. The floor was all cleaned up, but he was still frowning as he walked.

Jungkook walked away from the dinner table and went straight to him to stop him with a hug beside the couch.

- What happened, Tae? Tell me. - He asked gently.

Taehyung wrapped his arms around his waist and hid his face in his neck to take a very deep breath. But he didn't answer.

- Would you like to sit down for a while? - Jungkook asked again.

At this, Taehyung nodded, but instead of letting go of Jungkook, he reached down and grabbed him by the back of his tights to hold him up and walk them, not to the couch, but to the bed. Jungkook didn't complain, he merely held on tightly and breathed him in as Taehyung placed a knee over the ruffled bed and then laid him down gently in the middle of it.

As Taehyung looked down at him, kneeling in between his legs and holding himself up on one elbow, the other hand reached up to caress his cheek ever so gently. But his eyes were laced with a hint of sadness as deep as his hatred towards his father. Jungkook laid there, looking up at his beautiful face contorted with pain for him, and slowly his head thought back on... what if he was The Rose they were looking for?

So he reached up in return and folded his hands behind his neck. What if they wanted to take him away from him? Or if it was indeed himself, what if they separate them even so? What if magic was real and there were people out there with special tattoos? What if those people had anything to do with the current fight in the capital? Jungkook had so many things to think and worry about but he couldn't stop looking at Taehyung's eyes and wished he could clear them up again. Make them bright and clearer, like they usually are whenever they are dreaming together. He looked like he was carrying so much in his stare; like the weight in his shoulders also turned the corners of his eyes downwards.

Jungkook reached up with one hand as Taehyung did the same and, exactly at the same time, both brushed their thumbs beneath each other's eyes.

Taehyung's eyebrows pulled up in the middle as he swallowed what seemed to be an obstruction in his throat.

- Say it, Tae. Tell me what happened. Let it all out. - He whispered as he returned his hand to the back of Taehyung's head.

Taehyung let out a deep breath and reached his hand down to place it gently over Jungkook's chest, right where his heart was.

When he spoke, he was looking unwaveringly at his eyes.

- I love you so much. - He shook his head with a confused frown. - I... I have no idea how anyone wouldn't. - Jungkook let out a breathy chuckle, but it was half-hearted as he looked up at those sad-filled eyes. - I don't get it... I simply can't understand that anyone would believe the lies when I know you've shown them your true pain. I can't understand how anyone could see you hurting and believe the smiles. - His eyes closed, shaking his head. - How can anyone be so self-centered and say that their kid was at fault for all their misfortunes? -

The muscles in Jungkook's face relaxed altogether in understanding. Because... yes, that was it. That's what they were talking about while his father had been here.

- So... My father came here to vent. - He nodded and looked away, seeing from the corner of his eyes how Taehyung opened his own again, still in agony. He turned his head to him once more and took in a readying breath. - Ok... - He let it out and nodded. - I'm ready, go ahead. -

Taehyung shook his head slowly, seeming to hate seeing him having to ready himself for an undeniable blow. But instead of making a detailed recount of events like they usually do, he tilted his head with a frown and asked him.

- Who raised you, Jungkook? - ...It was an honest question. But it was for this reason that Jungkook frowned, confused. - The people who raise us, build our character. But you're nothing like your family. -

Jungkook blinked. That statement hurt, even more, when it came from someone else. He knew it was true but... put like that...?

However, it was a genuine question, so he squared his shoulders, promising himself that he will be stronger today (starting now). And he thought about it.

- My... - He stopped talking and looked off, trying to think. He was about to say his family by instinct, but that wouldn't have been true. He never met his grandparents and he didn't have any uncles, so... - Not... my family. But maybe... - He looked off, out the window at the cloudy white sky, squinting his eyes, trying to think of anybody who had been constantly--... - Gloria. - He said with a sudden blink and looked back at him. - She's a maiden in our house who saw us all three grow up. She was the only one in the house who gave good hugs. - He started to remember with a gentle smile on his face. - She always smelled like cookies. And she taught me how to make them too; butter cookies. She was always gentle and I liked that; the gentleness, the carefulness, the thoughtfulness, the genuine warmth... I had to go to the kitchens to see her, but only if my father's butler wasn't around. - He finished with a shrug yet also with a little smile.

Taehyung nodded with a slightly relieved sigh.

- She sounds kind. -

- Yeah, she is. - He whispered back as he smiled brighter.

But then Taehyung's frown came back, making Jungkook brace himself once more.

- Your father's butler... What was his name? -

Jungkook frowned and... blinked, and... brought a hand up to scratch his temple with a finger...

- I don't... remember. - Taehyung's yaw visibly tightened, but Jungkook tried to remember, he really did. But he shook his head. - I think he left... when I was... fourteen? I don't... -

Taehyung took in a sharp deep breath and plunged himself into Jungkook's chest to hide away in his neck. Jungkook would have laughed if it hadn't been because of the way Taehyung's eyes had welled up with tears before he hid away. Instead, he held him tightly.

- What was it, Tae? - He whispered, heavily confused and worried. But Taehyung didn't answer his question, he asked his own.

- Do you remember him wearing a suit? -

- He always wore a suit. -

- ...a butler's suit? -

Jungkook's hands stopped moving ever so slightly on him when he blinked and thought... But there was something in him that recoiled at the thought of that man; something that, whenever he would try to think deeper into it, the more uncomfortable he felt. Yet he pushed on because he knew he was safe in Taehyung's arms, and that was an undeniable fact that has been proven time and time again. So he thought about it even if it pained him, and remembered something at last.

- No... - It was murky, like trying to look through muddy water while still being afraid of not knowing what was there. - Whenever... whenever he was with me, he didn't have his suit jacket on. So I don't know if he was wearing the usual penguin-tail suit uniform or... -

A silence filled the room that made Jungkook highly uncomfortable, so he snuggled in tighter to Taehyung, hoping he would protect him from it.

But then he asked.

- ...why wasn't he wearing his suit jacket? -

For some reason, something felt pinched in the back of his head the moment he subconsciously tried to think of an answer, and, in response to that, Jungkook twitched. It was like a little spasm or a tick, sudden and right on the beginning of his spine. It made his head push back against the pillow.

Taehyung straightened up at once as he was before and looked down at him with worry, but Jungkook only looked up at him confused as to why he had reacted that way given how they were just talking about Gloria and nothing else.

However... something in Jungkook's chest didn't feel right. Because there must be a reason for Taehyung to react that way. So he thought through their previous conversation and saw murky waters and, at once, he remembered what they had been talking about and remembered the tick on his spine and why it had been. His eyes widened. He gasped and straightened up, pushing himself instinctively away from Taehyung and standing up outside the bed.

Jungkook was dizzy and disorientated as he held himself up with the bookshelf and looked outside the tall window, but knew exactly the answer to Taehyung's question--

No, he didn't know... Yes, he did-- No, he didn't...The reason why that man-- What man?... His father's butler--A butler, yes, a butler... The reason why he wouldn't wear his suit jacket--What suit jacket? What man? Who was he? Nobody, nothing, nobody, nothing-- No, no, he did know, he did know, it was right there, right there out of his reach, the answer... The answer...

- Jungkook. -

Taehyung had stood up with him, he was somewhere beside him, but all he could see was the outside because he knew, he knew that if he broke away from his concentration he would lose it again.

He grasped tightly to the bookshelf and looked wide-eyed and tensely out the window, but he answered as best he could so as to not lose his focus.

- Mobility... To be comfortable... To play... games... -

His eyes closed shut and he ticked again. His head hit backward so violently in that one spasm that the moment it came back to the front, Jungkook was scared to think of anything regarding that subject for fear that it would happen again. It painted him, the shock wave that would flow down his spine from the back of his head physically pained him. It physically hurt to remember what his brain wanted so desperately to forget.

Like a punishment for trying to open a door.

The space was too big, too cold, he wanted to hide. Slowly and subconsciously, he flattened himself against the bookshelves.

His brain was trying to shut down again, to close itself off from him from that one glance he managed to remember. But now... now he knows and he's aware that he won't remember that glimpse he had seen, and he knows why he won't but he can't say it, he can't.

- No, no, no, no... - He breathed out softly, like a prayer. - Nothing happened, nothing happened, no one was there... - He knew this was a lie, but he needed to get away from that door. So, he shook his head, and at once...poof... he believed he was alone. Completely alone.

It was all gone.

His shoulders relaxed, he managed to breathe in deeply, and at once... at once... he was fine again. He took a step from the bookshelf and turned around, blinking rapidly to clear his mind as he looked up at the sky and breathed in once more. When suddenly...

- ...Jungkook? -

He jolted and looked around. Taehyung was there. But he had believed he was alone this whole time.

Wait, this whole time? How much time? When did he get here? Wait, what? When? How? Who? What? What's happening?

Snap.

Garrett, J, August, Leo, Finn, Oliver, his father, the broken cup, Taehyung angry, the bed, Gloria, his father's butler not wearing his jacket.

Jungkook gasped and placed his hands over his eyes as he walked back until he hit the shelf and right when he believed his mind was about to explode, he sobbed.

- Oh, my God. -

His knees gave weight. But he never hit the floor. Gentle, firm hands held him and carried him as he tried all he could to breathe in deeply and remember that this was Taehyung. This was Taehyung, the one touching him was Taehyung, the one who loved him, protected him, adored him, and saved him, Taehyung.

Taehyung placed him over the bed once more and tried as gently as he could to get his hands off his eyes.

Jungkook felt those hands, felt his desperation even in his gentleness, and he remembered beyond all other things, that this was Taehyung.

He let go of his eyes and once he looked at his worried face, he leaped up to him and hugged him tightly instead of walking away all alone as he instinctively feels like doing. Immediately, Taehyung sat down on the edge of the bed and held him tight as he sat on his lap. And there they held each other.

Jungkook was tense all over, feeling like he was in danger, like he shouldn't be there, like he shouldn't be receiving gentle touches, but he stayed put. This was Taehyung and he was safe, there wasn't a safest place for him to be than Taehyung's arms, so nothing could be happening; if he was really in danger, he wouldn't be in his arms. So Jungkook could only force his body to stay silent and still, and, because he wasn't occupying his mind with something else, he could do nothing but think. He couldn't deny his thoughts anymore, they simply roamed free thru his mind, ringing in his ears.

He tried to breathe in deeply and thought of Garrett. What he's currently looking for, what he had asked of him, what they had said in his presence. He breathed in, heard all his own questions, and tried to not pay attention to any of them as he breathed out. He breathed in again, yet it sounded shaky, and tried to breathe out again.

He was afraid.

He knew he was afraid of something regarding his past, and he knew without a doubt that the memories were there, just not for the taking. He felt disappointed that there seemed to be a physical lock in his brain that wouldn't let him in on certain memories. However, he also was relieved. There should be a reason why his brain would make him tick every time he was getting too close to the truth, it was like a warning, a very uncomfortable and scary warning. If that was only the warning, what it guarded should be immensely terrible.

So he took a deep breath for the final time and leaned away to look Taehyung straight in the eyes. All he saw reflected was worry, he was immensely worried because he loved him so truly.

That was all that mattered. Taehyung.

Jungkook sighed and seemed to deflate as his hands held Taehyung's face.

- How can you love me? - He needed him to love him and it would destroy him if he left, but the question sometimes burnt him alive. How could Taehyung love him if he didn't know what lay in his depths? How could he accept him if he hadn't seen the worst of him? How could Jungkook sleep peacefully if he feared that a day might come when Taehyung would cut himself with one of his broken pieces?

Jungkook looked away, ashamed, feeling too young for him for the first time ever; feeling like a child and not a man of his same caliber. Feeling unworthy of him.

He was just about to let go of his face... when Taehyung took his hands in his.

Jungkook looked back up at him in question and saw nothing but unwavering love staring back at him as Taehyung slowly brought his hands back up to place them gently over his own cheeks. And then, without breaking eye contact, he brought one hand down to his waist and the other to the back of his neck to hold it securely.

- Jungkook, look me in the eyes and promise me that every time you start feeling the way you just did, you will remember everything I said last night in the meadow. -

Jungkook's eyes widened as he remembered in a silent little gasp.

"I look at you and see more than a treasure to behold. I see palaces of art, cathedrals of beauty, oceans of love, and I think to myself... that if ever there was a man more in love than I am with you, I know him not."

His expression changed with a quick sigh. Now, as he looked back at Taehyung, it wasn't in shame, it was with love and immense gratitude. He knew how to save him every single time. His star-dust hero; his sun, his north, his life, his angel, his love, his everything. His Taehyung.

It wasn't that nothing else mattered, but everything else did seem to be put to hold when he was with him.

Softly, he leaned forwards and pressed their foreheads together. He heard Taehyung sigh deeply and felt him holding him less securely and more gently, and that's when he said.

- You're my safe place. - He whispered with a little smile but then got a little more serious as he told him. - Only in your arms can I feel safe, so... If you ever want to talk about any of this again, don't let me walk away, just hold me tighter until I calm down again, ok? -

Taehyung took in a deep breath, squaring his shoulders and puffing his chest as he promised.

- I will. -

Jungkook let go of the breath he had been holding and leaned back just enough to look him deeply in the eyes. He gave him a little smile which he returned, even if his eyes were still cloudy with sadness.

Unstoppably, his eyes glanced down at his lips and his breath hitched before he could look back up. And then he said, a bit choked up.

- Could we... stop talking about those things for a while? -

Taehyung gave him a little smile that nearly reached his eyes if it hadn't been because of his own deep sadness, as he reached down his other hand to hold his waist fully and said with a sigh,

- Yes, please. -

Jungkook chuckled a bit. It seemed both needed a good distraction for a while. Jungkook realized once more that even if he knew now why Taehyung had broken that cup, he had yet to know what his nightmare had been about for him to bury himself in work all morning.

So, he leaned in and kissed his cheek, but left his lips there over the skin, to then move a little to the side and kiss him again, and move a little more in and kiss him on the corner of his lips. And, right when he was about to get to connect them, Taehyung met him halfway and locked them at last.

At the same time, they both took in a sharp breath and a pleasant tingling flowed down Jungkook's body, erasing the feeling of the previous ticks and warming up what had been cold a moment before. Their lips parted and muscle memory made them tilt their heads to the other side before kissing once more. Jungkook was able to put aside all his previous worries and fears, everything was put aside and all that mattered was Taehyung. His beautiful Taehyung.

Their lips moved against one another and they were so entirely focused on the pleasant feeling on their lips that their hands felt numb as well as the rest of their bodies. They breathed deeply and their shoulders relaxed the more their lips felt one another. The warmth increased as their pace did and, once Taehyung opened his mouth, Jungkoook knew it would be his undoing. Once their tongues met... Jungkook breathed out a little moan as his hands balled into fists, grabbing Taehyung's shirt by his shoulders.

Taehyung brought a hand up to his cheek and intensified the kiss for one second before softly leaning back. The next kiss, Jungkook felt it in his cheek, and then Taehyung gently made him look him in the eyes.

- I love you so. - He sighed with nothing but painful truth in his eyes. Jungkook gave him a little smile and leaned in sweetly to bub the tip of his nose with his own, and once he leaned back again, Taehyung chuckled. - You're so cute. - He shook his head before brushing his cheek with his thumb. For a moment, they just stared at each other, but as Taehyung's smile turned a bit more serious, Jungkook paid close attention. Though, he wasn't expecting what came next. - Please... let me show you how much I love you tonight. - He said in a soft little voice and then his breath hitched, waiting for his answer.

For what seemed to be a heartbeat, Jungkook felt as naive as before he met him and was about to ask him what he meant given how he proves his love effortlessly every time they're together. However, he was grown now, he had blossomed with him, so now, as he heard his words and saw his nervousness, he knew exactly what he meant. And that's when his heart missed a beat.

His breath hitched as he looked at him and it seemed like time was standing completely still. Slowly, a shy little smile started to spread through his lips before asking in a whisper.

- Do you mean what I think you're meaning? -

Taehyung smiled shyly back at him and took a deep breath before tilting his head to one side and kissing his cheek to then speak right against his skin.

- If you think I mean "loving you as I've never loved anybody else with heart and body" then yes, that's exactly what I mean. -

Jungkook gave a silent little giggle as Taehyung straightened up again, though stayed close to him. Jungkook's eyes darted down at his own hands as he straightened the fabric he had grasped and then, with that sweet little smile he had never given anybody else but Taehyung, he looked up at him as he held his face and said.

- Ask me again. -

Taehyung smiled and held his waist tightly with both hands.

- Jungkook... would you let me show you how much I truly love you? -

And Jungkook giggled shyly before saying at last,

- Yes. -

Taehyung smiled wider; excited, happy, relieved, nervous. And then leaned in to kiss him sweetly and firmly, sealing away his promise.

Sealing away the promise he had made Jungkook this past Wednesday at the library.

"...I want to take off your clothes so softly you'll feel like petals are caressing your skin. I want to kiss your body and worship your beauty. I want to hear you loving every second of it as you tattoo your touch into my skin. I want to love you in the most physical way possible..."

And he will. Tonight he will. And Jungkook felt an excitement fluttering in his stomach so great that he giggled in the kiss and leaned away just to jump in and hug him against the bed. Taehyung laughed in his ear as he hugged him tightly back and then said.

- My beautiful Jungkook... I'll take care of you forever and always. I will be your safe place... your safe-haven... your one and only... and you'll be mine. - He hid his face in his neck and, as they chuckled merrily, he turned them around so he could look at him as the sun shined bright in his eyes, and said again. - You'll be mine. -

Jungkook smiled brightly and nodded with a chuckle before Taehyung leaned in and kissed him heartbreakingly slowly.

It was in moments like this one, where his heart felt fit to burst with love and happiness, that Jungkook didn't have any space left in him to feel sadness, hatred, or fear. He simply loved, and the world simply looked way more beautiful around him; nothing and no one could harm him when love was protecting him.

It was his love for Taehyung which protected him from his past, it was his longing for a future with Taehyung which protected him from his present, and it is the beautiful present where Taehyung kissed him with a smile, that protected him from himself.

Unknown things are scary, and there are a lot of those around at the moment. But it is his constant and true love of Taehyung that keeps him grounded.

Even if Taehyung's previous questions were still concerning him subconsciously.

As fast as he could, without spilling any of his food on his tray, Jungkook walked up the final stairs of the cafeteria and just one glance at their corner told him that the rest were already over on the table. He locked eyes with Finn and he seemed to brighten his smile which made the others look as well as he made his way over to them.

It had been Taehyung's idea for him to go have lunch with his friends, he had been all in to stay with him for the whole rest of the day, however, Taehyung had a point. Whether he liked it or not, he was putting his friends aside. So he agreed, taking with him a sweet smile from Taehyung as he told him how he would surprise him once he got to the clearing at four.

So, here he was, meeting with his friends for lunch.

- He-lloooo. - He singsonged as he left his tray on the table and sat down on what was now his usual chair, leaving his bag beside his seat.

- Look who deemed to come back, huh? - Leo said, sourly yet with a smile at him as he kept on being bent over his food with his elbows holding him up.

Jungkook gave him a rapid, fake smile, before starting on his food with half a grin.

- Hello, Kooky. - Greeted Emily beside him as she leaned her head on his shoulder for a second. He gave her a nod and then gave one to Finn as well.

But then he did a double-take on what he had seen over Finn's head.

The televisions were on. They were up on the corners and remained with their volume low as there was only a man with a suit in an office, talking about something.

He lowered his hand again and went back to his food.

- So. - He started once he had swallowed and looked back up at the table. - How was your morning? - He mainly looked over at Leo, simply because the bruise on him was something not easily forgotten.

But, since he was not looking at him, Emily was the one who answered. She had already finished with her food.

- Leo told me that the cold water seemed to work a bit. - As she answered, she put her hand on his shoulder.

Jungkook nodded, but then Leo cut in.

- It's stupid, but it actually seemed to work. - He chuckled before looking up at them. It was clear that he was pissed off that it did. - I nearly couldn't even stretch because of the pain, it felt like the whole area of the bruise was palpitating and hot to the touch, it was awful. - He grimaced as he remembered. - I nearly couldn't get myself to walk to the showers, my whole leg felt stiff; my whole left side was hurting. - He motioned with his hands over his left side to indicate where exactly. - And I was so pissed because, you know how much I hate cold showers, but then... - He opened his palms as well as his eyes in surprise. - I went under and, let me tell you, it felt like hea-ven. - They all laughed with him. - I swear, it was like a fire was put out, I was able to move around so I stretched for a bit in there, and... yeah, it's crazy. - He shook his head with a smile. - Thanks to that, I can move right now. And it doesn't hurt as much anymore. I want to abstain from looking at it until nighttime to see if it has shrunk or something. It'd be so weird if it had. - Then he laughed and went back to his food.

Jungkook was simply laughing with the rest, feeling no tension on the table whatsoever. The only thing that seemed to change a bit was how Finn seemed to feel more a part of the gang than before, and also how Emily seemed to be paying much more attention to their faces than ever before. But that could simply be because she's happy they're all together and laughing again, so Jungkook didn't think deeper into it.

- What about you? - Jungkook gave a nod to Finn and went on with his food.

- Me? I was on babysitting duty. - He said with half a grin at Leo who scoffed in return as they all laughed.

- Oh, you shut up. - He said to Finn as he squinted his eyes in betrayal yet still with a smile on his face.

Jungkook noted how, if it had been him, Leo would've given him a harder jab than that. And he still couldn't find it in himself to think deeper into what that could mean, that his friend had averted his eyes back down to his plate once Finn laughed brightly at him. Maybe Jungkook was in denial, or maybe he was putting signs where they didn't belong, either way, he simply kept on eating for now.

- And you? - He asked Emily once he swallowed and the laughter had died down.

- I was working. - She shrugged. - Studying, preparing for next week's classes; I was over in the study room for about three hours doing nothing but that. And you? - She asked sweetly as she tilted her head with a smile.

But it was Leo who scoffed in response.

- Oh, he was with Taehyung, who else? -

Jungkook bit down on his bottom lip at his displeasure. He didn't like the way he was saying his name, not at all.

- You really should knock it off, Leo. -

The latter looked up at him and shook his head, baffled.

- I just don't get why you would want to hang out with him when you have us. Are we not enough or something? -

Jungkook let go of his fork and looked him straight in the eyes.

- That has nothing to do with that. You guys are more than enough; including you, Finn. What happens is as simple as this: I am allowed to have other friends. -

But Leo also let go of his utensils to look back at him defiantly.

- Yes, you're most certainly allowed to do so, but only when the other person is not constantly trying to change you, Jungkook. He might be worried over you like we are, but he will always be first and foremost your father's friend, and that to me is the biggest red flag a person could be waving at your face. -

- I told you that he's cool when he's not being a teacher. -

Leo scoffed.

- That's a toxic relationship if ever I see one. -

- Oh, yeah? And what is this, huh? - He waved a hand between them. - You simply believe you're the only one who can decide what's best for me. -

This wasn't a lie anymore, Jungkook wasn't trying to keep up with no act, he was truly starting to get pissed off at Leo's reaction because this was exactly how he would've reacted if he had been trying to make a new friend and he wasn't liking it at all.

- Jungkook... - Leo stopped himself and closed his eyes with a deep sigh before opening them again. - This isn't about me being selfish, alright? This is about you and how you seem to accept the fact that this man, this professor, has been trying over and over again to make you feel guilty about being the person that you are and has tried time and time again to lecture you on how to be just like him, to be perfect, just like your dad wants you to be. But noooo, you two share a liking for books so that makes him good enough to be your friend? I'm sorry buddy, but if I don't see anyone else treating you better than I do then they simply don't deserve to be your fucking friend, got it? Starting with the fact that I would never try to make you change who you are even if you're a bit too much for me sometimes, you dumbass. - He finished with a clicking of his tongue and went back to his food.

Jungkook slowly started to smile at him. He couldn't help it even if he tried, it was the closest thing to saying "I love you" he had ever gotten from Leo. He was genuinely worried for him, that was all. Jungkook was satisfied with that knowledge even if it didn't apply to their current moment, all he wanted to know was if Leo was being possessive or protective and now that he had his answer, he chuckled and averted his eyes to his plate as he moved his food around with his fork.

- Ok, then. - He shrugged, still grinning.

- So, you're not going to him later today. - Leo stated, irking Jungkook once more. It was this, controlling part of him, that was all. But it all came from a place of love, so Jungkook took a deep breath and looked back up at him.

- Yes, I will. Who knows, maybe he will have a meeting and leave me alone in his apartment again. That'll be fun, considering how I made him buy my favorite fruits yesterday without telling him. - He grinned maliciously as he lied. He still felt a sour taste in his mouth whenever he lied to them, but it was for a more important cause.

Also, if it was funny and he saw Leo grinning as he was doing right now, it couldn't hurt.

- I bet you just made that entire fridge your own. -

Jungkook grinned wider.

- The entire kitchen, more or less. -

- Oh, you're so mean. - Cut in Emily with a surprised giggle. Even Finn was shaking his head with a smile as if to say "what a smart asshole", in the good sense, of course.

- I also got a glimpse of a large bookshelf, but it was empty. - Leo added with a confused frown as he took a bite of his food.

- I helped him organize his books, so now it's fully packed. - He was going to take a bite as well, but Leo looked at him strangely, so he had to add. - Because I wanted to see which books were interesting enough to "borrow", obviously. - He rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the grin on his face. It was kind of fun acting mean.

Leo chuckled.

- Oh, you bastard. - He said as he nodded with a proud smile. - Fine, so long as you're taking advantage of him and not the other way around, I'm fine with it. -

Jungkook merely shook his head and left it at that to take a bite of his own food. Distantly, he noticed that some students wearing a yellow badge on their sleeves were the only ones holding control remotes, and he noticed this because they were standing right beneath the televisions to turn on the volume. He glanced up and saw that the news channel had started at last, and his heart nearly jumped out of his chest at the memory and fear of yesterday.

When Finn spoke to Emily.

- Was your roommate as rude to you today as she was yesterday? - He said as he leaned his head over his fist, his elbow on the table, looking a little tense on the shoulders. Maybe he had also noticed the change in atmosphere in the room.

Subconsciously, Jungkook tried to finish his food faster, all for his sense of survival, telling him that he needed all his senses focused on his surroundings and not on food.

But other than that, he also paid attention to Emily's answer.

- I would say yes, only because she didn't answer my "good morning". - She sighed. It was obvious she didn't like her roommate but tried with all her might to tolerate her. - But other than that, she was really quiet while I got ready. - She shrugged, and, as the volume of the telly went up, so did their hearts on their throats. But she tried to continue with the conversation. - How was having Leo as a roommate? -

Jungkook finished with his food and put the dessert in the middle of the table so Leo would help him finish it quickly. It was a dark chocolate tart.

- Well, it was... normal, I guess. - Finn chuckled and shrugged as the hands holding his head went to the back of it, the general nerves that were growing in the room around them getting to him even if he was right next to the window. - To tell you the truth, I thought he would snore. -

- Hey. - Leo retorted with a little frown; his mouth so full of dark chocolate that a drop of it was falling down the corner of his mouth.

Jungkook chuckled at the sight. But then, he saw a glimpse of something that made his heart miss a beat.

Once Finn had seen the drop of chocolate falling, his first instinct was to catch it with his thumb. Jungkook saw it, he saw his hand's intentions, saw the way his hand had opened over the table and lifted, thumb first, for a fraction, with that exact mission, before changing course alarmingly fast and ending up handing Leo a napkin.

But Jungkook knew the truth, he had seen that hand, and, for a moment, he thought Leo had noticed it too, but then he averted his eyes as he cleaned his mouth and Jungkook was left with the doubt.

Jungkook knew that Leo and Finn were seen by Taehyung as they got out of a janitor's closet, so whatever they were hiding, the secret was safe with Jungkook given how he had a lot of important things to hide as well. However... The most worrying person at this table was not the three males who could or could not be breaking some laws at the moment, but Emily.

As if he was not possibly going to fall into a cardiac arrest, Jungkook glanced around the room only so he could take a look at Emily. Once he saw her frozen smile and her eyes fixed on Finn for a little longer than necessary, he genuinely thought that maybe it would be a good idea to fake heart failure only so she would forget Finn and the previous intention of his hand.

However, this was not necessary.

By the corner of his eye, as he saw a few people standing from their chairs to get closer to the telly showing images and videos of the last events from the night before, he saw Garrett heading straight to their table at a fast pace. And he looked terrible. Jungkook frowned in concern at the way his usual bronzy color looked sickly pale and he walked with a small limp, hunching his back as if in pain while he carried his bag on the edge of his shoulder. He was wearing the same jacket he wore the night before, with the collar of it pushed up to hide his neck, but Jungkook could still see a glimpse of what looked like a bruise at the base of his throat. Or... was that a hickey?

"She's pretty when she's not angry."

Did Alex do that? But he looked genuinely beaten up... No, maybe he had a fight or something.

- Jungkook. - Garrett said forcefully by way of greeting as he stopped short at the end of their table.

Leo exclaimed.

- Look who it is, the criminal's lap dog. - He spat with a humorless grin as he looked up at him.

Emily gasped.

- Leo. - She still had no idea what had happened this morning and just how alarmed Jungkook was when he entered Finn's room. She only knew Garrett had told Leo how to cure his bruise, but nothing else.

But Garrett didn't look at Leo, he only looked directly at Jungkook. His eyes were darker than usual and his breathing was rather harsh.

- I'm sorry but I can't wait until tomorrow, come with me. -

Jungkook was taken aback by the harshness of it all. A sudden chill went down his spine as he looked at his seriousness and saw from the corners of his eyes how more people were starting to stand up to look directly at the news.

He really should've stayed with Taehyung.

- Garrett--

- I was not asking you. -

Jungkook stopped talking at the demand in his tone. It was a completely different person, the one that stood towering over them. As a booming sound came from the telly, their heads snapped to the nearest one and saw the worst parts of yesterday's attack. Apparently, for some reason, the police haven't been able to extract either the royal family or the prime minister from the palace.

- Jungkook. - Garrett snapped his head back to him, his breathing even harsher than before. - Come, now. -

Leo stood up at once.

- He's not going with you, you fucking weirdo. - He muttered close to him as the new's people were starting to speak once more, starting on what was happening today.

Finn stood up as well, his eyes wide and his limbs ready for a quick run. Emily on the other hand tried to make herself more little in her chair by hugging her knees up to her chest. And, slowly, Jungkook stood up as well, Garrett's eyes never leaving his, not even with Leo by his side.

- What the fuck are they doing? - Another student far from them spoke to no one in particular as he saw what was happening in the capital.

Again, their heads snapped to the telly, and saw the people in black standing with civilians in their midst, by their side, of all ages, genders, and colors, doing nothing but standing straight and close to each other; a very large group of people, some bruised up from last night, standing right before the UK army, some of which were standing over tanks, guarding Buckingham Palace.

For a moment there was nothing but silence, from the cafeteria, from the news channel, from the capital itself, nothing but silence and the sound of the cold wind. And then something happened that nearly made Jungkook's knees stop working.

A guy standing front row center, with a black mask hiding the rest of his face and a killer sharp stare right at the commander of the other side, held the hand of a girl wearing normal clothes. And slowly, very slowly but surely, he lifted his other hand to the heavens as he held a beautiful red rose, thorns and all. He lifted it high and proud, he lifted it until his arm couldn't straighten anymore.

Jungkook's breathing hitched in his throat and his chest tightened at the sight. At the calling.

The world stopped breathing for a second. For the majority, it would only look like a rose, but for the ones who mattered most, it would show that these people were truly fighting for the greater good.

For a moment, there was silence. Until the single, ear-splitting sound of a gunshot broke the air in two. And the slow-motion sight of the bullet was all Jungkook could see.

It was all everyone could see, as it made its way to that guy and hit him right in the middle of his forehead until it got out through the back of his head.

The happening was so swift and sudden that all everyone could do was watch as his arm slowly fell while his knees gave out, and his hand let go of the girl whose eyes were widening with terror at the sight of him falling to the floor and moving no longer. The rose fell beside him... and matched the color of his blood.

The shrieking sound of her screams was what put the world on fast forwards once more. The ones recording the scene started running as fast as they could out of there as everyone started to scream alongside her. Screams of war, screams of terror, screams on the capital, screams on the university. It had all been so swift that no one could do anything but watch a death being broadcasted.

The televisions were shut off, a group of professors ran up the stairs at the sound of terrified screams from the students, everyone stood up in alarm at what they had seen, and Jungkook was grabbed harshly by his upper arm.

He turned his head to see, his breathing fast and shallow, and saw Garrett looking back at him fiercely with red-rimmed eyes. He was nearly in angry tears as he said in a whisper that only Jungkook could hear in this commotion.

- Please. -

A fierce drive took over Jungkook as he fastly made Garrett let go of him and he bent down to take his bag to then put it around his shoulder. And without another word, simply wishing to do something, Jungkook followed after him, making their way swiftly out of the panicked-stricken cafeteria.

________________________________________________________________________________

<<<3 HAPPY ONE YEAR WITH DEMOCRITUS <<<3 

🌼Thank you for reading Chapter 51 <3<3<3 

You can support my writing by giving me a tip in BuyMeACoffee☕Go to my Instagram and click on the highlight story called Coffee. I'm grateful for everything you can give me💜

Instagram: shadowela

Or go to my (Wattpad) profile bio, the link is there under Give me a coffee, fuel my write☕💜

Your devoted writer,

Ela Shadow Rose 🥀

Go ahead with the next Chapter ->->->