Utrimque Pudor Patris Sui

The Shame of his Father

It was around eleven in the morning, and Jungkook was rinsing his mouth off in the sink of the bathroom at the gym of the university. He had been violently sick just now and was merely grateful that nobody had been in there when he barged in. And he was still grateful that no one was entering while he caught a breath.

It hadn't been the breakfast the cook made for him so generously the one responsible for this, it hadn't even been that he had maybe started to workout before his body was ready, no, the responsible for all of this was his brain. Once it was able to unclog itself and function, every single thing he had been denying and ignoring since he woke up -or even since the night before- came in full force once more. It was like a wave drowning him, and then he would just go harder with the workout, but it just wore him out and he ended up sinking until he couldn't tell what was wrong or right, and once he took a breath, he ran as fast as he could towards the bathrooms near the pool.

It had been a terrible ordeal, he had no idea how long he'd been in here. He vomited everything he could give while his mind bombarded him with questions and his heart rate accelerated until his chest hurt, so then he had a panic attack because he believed he was about to die or that these people were out to kill him or to take him away or anything at all and he had to run, he had to run but his legs wouldn't move because his body was tired, and he fell to the bathroom floor, crying his eyes out once he was finally able to breathe a painful breath, and he cried and cried for everything that was happening, questioning why it was happening to him, needing Taehyung with him, feeling cold as the sweat on him froze, feeling disgusting exactly because he was covered in sweat and tears and had been laying down on a bathroom floor. So he stood up on weak legs and walked over to the sink, all because he was feeling disgusted with himself.

But now, his head had cool down again, so he was able to rethink and realize that he, in fact, was not disgusted with himself in any other aspect that wasn't the grime over his skin; he also didn't think his life was that bad considering how Taehyung was now in it, and finally... he tried to stop thinking again because it was indeed not good for him. If anything, this whole experience had taught him that all of these thoughts were better left untouched, so he tried once again to ignore the questions, deny the facts, and hide away the evidence. Simple as that.

Thankfully, his bag was in a locker in that same bathroom, so he opened it with the key they gave him at the reception upon entering the gym and took it to go straight to one of the showers. That would be enough workout for the day, now he needed some warm water and self-love for a few long minutes.

Leo hissed and, before he could fall, held himself up with the wall beside him. That stupid injury just got worse, now his whole leg wasn't numb, it was in utter pain, along with the whole right side of his body. He just had to listen to the enemy, didn't he?

- ...maybe--

- I'm not going to the hospital wing, Finn. - He said with gritted teeth to the one beside him and then did his best to continue their walk towards one of the private rooms so they could stretch. Because why not finish what they started? Even if it's turning out to be one of the worst ideas he had ever received.

In all his years working out, he had never heard anything like Garrett's advice, so why in hell had he taken his word when he was on their side? But even so, it's always "go hard or go home" for him, so he'll finish this and see if it was all bullshit or not. But only after he finishes.

- You sure Jungkook wouldn't like to stretch too? - Finn asked, and it maddeningly still sounded like he was worried out of his mind about his injury.

Leo sighed but acted as if he hadn't noticed when he answered.

- He was over on the treadmill last time I saw him. Let him run. He tends to close off everything and everyone else when he's working out, so, even if you were to try and stop him, he would most likely elbow you without meaning to. And I'm talking from experience. -

Once they got to room 01, Finn unlocked it with the key the receptionist had given them.

The gym wasn't as packed as he thought it would be, but then again, it was a Sunday morning. There were some boys lifting weights and girls doing yoga out close to the pool, but other than that, the huge place was all for them. There had been a moment when Leo had stopped walking altogether, and it hadn't been to watch the girls doing yoga, but to the pool. What a beautiful monster that was. Huge and deep, the perfect pool for professional swimming and jumping from great heights and diving to great lows, it was amazing. There were also pillars surrounding it far to the sides. To keep up with the greek vibe, no doubt. Though Finn had told him that pillars weren't only a "greek vibe", but for him, they would always be.

Now Leo limped inside their private room and, again, it was wide. If they had told them this was the tiniest room, what would the biggest one look like? It had mirrors on the whole stretch of the wall, and the floor was something that looked like wood but wasn't. It was one of those typical rooms for dancing and stuff. He does know that there are professional dance crews at this university and that they have won a lot of great prizes, and that's something he really likes about this university, that it supports education as much as it does sports and arts. Not that he's very adept at arts other than whenever Jungkook would draw beside him; in his family, it hadn't been quite common to go to any art "thing" so his friends were the ones who showed them to him.

- Alright. - Finn sighed, leaving his water bottle next to the large speaker, and then straightened to look at him awkwardly, putting all his weight on his other leg and trying not to fall in the process. - How do you usually stretch? -

- What, you don't stretch? - Leo asked as he looked at the floor, debating how to sit down without having to just throw himself onto the floor.

- Yeah, I do, but my stretching is a little bit more intense, so that's why I asked you. -

Leo looked up with a confused frown.

- What'd you mean intense? -

Finn looked at him wobbling a bit in his place and then walked over to the door at the back of the room without answering him. He got out two black rolled-up mats from the supply closet and, as he unrolled one, he answered.

- I enjoy being flexible, so... - He said in a little voice, close to muttering, as he looked at his hand's work instead of Leo.

Was he perhaps... thinking that he would judge him for that? Yes, it is not every day that you would hear a man saying they like to be flexible, but it's not uncommon at all, what of the gymnasts? Those are the most flexible males Leo had ever seen (on the telly).

- That's cool. - Leo said softly to him.

Finn looked up for a second, found him giving him a little smile, and looked down with a little smile of his own as he placed the mat next to Leo before going to unroll his own.

- And I also stretch every morning and night. So, just so you know, I haven't been able to do that since yesterday morning. - He said with a little chuckle.

Of course, Leo got to his room too early yesterday because of... his roommate waking him up. And then he slept in his room so yes, he had no time to stretch like he usually did, apparently.

- Go ahead then, I'll do mine. - Leo said with a smile his way.

Finn looked up from his mat and... somehow the color of those eyes hit him in the face so he had to look away and down to his own mat as Finn answered.

- Ok. So... Do you need help? -

Leo scoffed as he wobbled in place.

- Help? Me? Come on, this is easy. - He said dismissively as he tried to bend his support knee while the other stayed straight in front of him with the foot not touching the ground.

- Fine, that's good, but do it on the mat. - Finn said rapidly as he neared him to be right in front of him with his hands outstretched.

Leo stopped moving, his knee half bent on a point of no return.

- Finn... if I fall, just let me, don't grab me. -

- But why? - He asked, even more worried, nearing his hands to him a bit more.

And Leo panicked to the point of telling the truth as fast as he could while he straightened up once more.

- Because I'm all sweaty. Just let me fall on my ass, it'll be less painful to me, I swear. - The hit it would take on his ego if Finn touched him when he was all sweaty like that would hurt less than his leg. Yes, it was harder to accept his help right now than to think of any reasons why he would be feeling that way in the first place. Yes.

But Finn laughed.

- Oh, shut up, you big baby. Let me help you. - As he laughed, he went forward and took him securely by the wrists.

- No--!

But he had him, his hands were touching his skin, and he was sweaty. All he could do was purse his lips and roll his eyes.

- Come on, hold me. - Finn said with an audible smile. And the moment Leo turned his stare to frown at him, his little smile made him avert his eyes down to their hands.

At once, his heart was in his throat and he realized... Finn was touching his skin, holding onto his wrists tightly, he--... Leo hadn't realized that this must look quite--... He was glad the door was closed, but then regretted his thankfulness once he thought it was weird to feel that way, then he realized that maybe Finn should really let go of him even if he does injure himself further because--... But no, Finn was helping him. A friend was helping him.

So he took hold of Finn's wrists as well. It--... He could feel his fast pulse. It was kind of funny and... nice, in a way. Was his skin soft? He felt kind of cold, and even if he wasn't sweating buckets like he was, there was a gentle mist over his skin, but it never felt gross or anything like it in the slightest.

Finn chuckled a little.

- What? - Leo asked in a low voice, feeling as though they were indeed doing something they should keep a secret. Much like a number of other things, now that he thought about it.

- Nothing, just... Your hands are very warm. -

Leo chuckled as well.

- Yeah, Emily says that a lot. -

Right then, he felt Finn slowly tugging his wrists down so he would start bending his knee again, this time with his help.

- I bet she's used your hands to warm herself up. -

Leo's eyes widened a bit at the double meaning and he looked up only to find Finn looking down to make sure they were both doing a good job and he wasn't about to fall. So he simply blinked and looked down again now that they were almost there.

- Ummm... Yeah, sometimes her hands feel too cold, or her arms... - He grunted once he got to the floor, and let go of Finn only when he had leaned back and his foot was free from underneath him. - She's quite small, so maybe that's why she's usually cold and, you know, I'm bigger and warmer compared to her... - Finn went back to his own mat and took off his shoes. - So yeah, sometimes when it's really cold and even her coat can't warm her up... if Jungkook doesn't grab her first to do it, I'll hug her for a bit, maybe rub her arms... - Finn nodded, eyes to the floor as he sat down on his mat. - Because, you know, she's tiny and... the cold... outside... Be-Because when we're inside, she's fine with her coat and her pockets, I would never just, like, grab her, you know? Only if it's obvious that she's really cold, like... - Finn started grinning as he stretched his neck to the side. - Like, shivering or straight up asking for it. ¡A hug! I mean. Outside. In the cold. Cause she's tiny. - Finn straightened his head and looked at him in the mirror with a raised eyebrow and half a grin. - ...Yeah... -

Leo cringed at himself and lowered his head to start stretching his-- uuuu, his... his what? stretching...? Uuuuu.... his fingers, yeah, stretching his fingers; arms straight, fingers bent back, you know? To stretch the fingers when you're... typing too much on the computer--? What the hell is he doing?

Finn laughed softly beside him and he gave up trying to do anything with his fingers so he simply looked up at him. Knowing he had just made a fool of himself.

- What? - He whined.

Finn shook his blond head with a smile and turned his head to look at him and ask.

- Why were you trying to assure me that you hug her only when she's cold? -

Leo shortcutted for a second before resorting to the only way he knew to get out of an awkward question.

He scoffed.

- What? Me? Trying to reassure...? - His voice trailed away as Finn raised his eyebrows at him and... and Leo couldn't breathe because he didn't want to make a fool of himself again. So he simply looked away and clicked his tongue. - Come on. I need to stretch, don't I? -

Finn let out a little laugh again and Leo looked at the mirror only to find him staring back.

- Yes, you do. - He said in a sure voice and went on stretching his arms as he looked at himself.

And Leo felt something in the pit of his stomach that made him want to disappear but also laugh but also seem stronger than he actually was. He had never felt this feeling before, so he couldn't put a name to it. But, between you and me... he felt shy.

Emily sighed and stretched her arms and back as she sat on one of the tables in one of the Study Rooms. And she chose to sit on one of the tables against the window just for the view.

She had been studying for a bit more than two hours once she saw a message in their group chat telling her that they were going to the gym this morning. She didn't mind since, the day before, she barely had any studying to do with everything that happened. But she still wanted to enter the next week already knowing what the teacher will talk about. That, and also that she wanted to get out of her room and do something.

Since the day before and even before that, she has had this anxious feeling whenever she was in her room with her roommate present. Even if Alex looked harmless while reading, listening to music, or writing in a notebook, every time she was in the room, Emily would suddenly feel like she, herself, was being unproductive somehow. It was such a strange feeling but it made her want to scream the longer she would stay in her bed doing something that she wouldn't consider "productive", so that's also why she got out of that room to study on her own. She had been so angry and full of energy for no reason that, as of right now, she had finished everything there was for next week, she had reviewed all the next lectures, and had gathered up extra information to bring to class.

She lowered her arms and looked down at her laptop. In a way, she had no idea where all this pent-up need to do something came all of a sudden, but she couldn't complain. She had done much more than she would've usually done even if it had been out of anxiety or anger, and she did a great job even if she did it quite fast. And if Jungkook and -or- Leo had been here studying with her, she wouldn't have been able to concentrate as fully on her work as she did right now. Usually, she wouldn't like to study on her own because it would make her feel lonely, but this sudden flame inside of her that woke up once she opened her eyes this morning was indeed consuming enough not to let her think of anything else. And, though she was grateful it helped her do more work, she was glad it was over. She was exhausted.

As Emily closed her laptop and took all her things, she felt pity for those who burn with this relentlessly anxious feeling. She couldn't fathom how it would've made her feel if she hadn't had something to do to burn it all away.

Alex, laying on her bed, closed her book with a snap and threw it towards the other wall of the room.

Nothing, nothing would ease her mind, nothing could distract her, and nothing had been able to erase her anger. So she folded her arms over her face and cried angry tears because she felt absolutely and irrevocably useless so far away from the fight; right where her parents had sent her off to.

Taehyung was making himself his third cup of coffee this morning. He simply leaned back on the kitchen counter where Jungkook would usually leave his bag and waited with his arms folded over his chest for the coffee machine to finish working.

He hadn't slept that well the night before, tossing and turning, dreaming of Daphne screaming at him that it was all his fault and the screams of his kids in terror as they ran and then Jungkook, trying to calm him down even in his dreams yet crying as well, crying and crying, in utter pain, bleeding from the wounds on his ankles for being tried down with chains to the floor yet crying for him to fly away...

He shook his head and tried to think of nothing but his coffee. However, the images of Garrett's tattoos intruded upon his mind once more and a cold trickled down his back. Sharply, he glanced behind him. But of course, there was no one there. Nothing but his bed still undone and the dinner table at the other end of the room all covered in papers and folders alongside his computer.

He had jumped out of his bed the moment he had seen in his dreams how Jungkook died in his arms and immediately started working his brain into forgetting that awful sight.

But, now, it backfired. Because he had nothing else to work on. He could start another ph.d [Philosophiæ doctor from the latín «doctor on philosophy»] and bury himself in work for another five years, but... it wasn't worth it even if the nightmare was still clinging cold to his bones. It was in moments like this that he would go check on his kids in their study room and lounge with them for a while or two until they were all laying in a fit of laughter. Or, since it was Sunday, he would simply invite them to breakfast. He would also invite Daphne, of course, and maybe she would say yes, but if she said no, they would go to a fun place instead of a boring restaurant, and he would forget he ever woke up crying.

But they weren't here, they were in the hospital trying to calm down another panic attack that arose when they woke up in a strange place with a stranger nurse who had her face half-hidden by a surgical mask. Daphne had told him how they had to call in security to calm Edward down, all because she had gone down to buy some coffee and they hadn't seen their mother once they woke up. Audrey nearly broke her vocal cords to a point of no return in her fear.

If only he had been there...

But then, he wouldn't have met Jungkook.

It was always the same story, he either had his family or his kids. And now, he either had his kids or the love of his life. It didn't seem fair. He had always tried to be a kind person, and there were worse people than him who were out there living their best lives. It wasn't fair.

He snapped his head at the door once he heard someone knocking on it. Then he looked over to the coffee maker and found that it had been done for a while but he hadn't noticed. He straightened and looked down at his sweatpants and a simple t-shirt. For a second he thought that it would be better even if it was grabbing a sweater or something, but then his heart missed a beat at the thought of it being Jungkook. And he dashed towards the door to open it at once.

And found himself startled at the sight.

- Mr. Jeon. - The man himself was right in front of him wearing a flawless suit even on a Sunday, and Taehyung had been feeling so nervous in general since he woke up that he was merely grasping the thread of who he was supposed to be as he tried to stand up as straight as his visitor.

- Mr. Kim. Waiting for someone else? - He asked with a small grin, almost as if he was trying to make a joke. So, Taehyung grinned as well as he answered.

- Waiting for no one, that's why I opened so fast. - They chuckled silently. It felt so utterly strange to try and be nice to this man, but he was indeed playing the role of his friend, so he had to remember and keep his head.

- Mind if I stepped in? - He gestured beside Taehyung towards the apartment with his eyebrows raised in question as he continued smiling at him.

He remembers how he had simply walked right in when Jungkook had been there Friday.

- Sure, sir. You'll forgive me if it's a little... messy. - Taehyung cringed slightly and stiffly stepped aside to let him in.

- Don't worry about that, it'll just be for a while. - He said, dismissively, as he stepped inside with his hands folded behind his back. It really sounded like he was being a nice friend, and that only made Taehyung confused, but he went along to close the door as Jeon looked around and let out a chuckle. - It looks the same as my son's room used to be. - Taehyung held his breath. But then... - Yes, Junior was always the same on weekends. The bed was undone and the desk was a mess of work. - He chuckled again, shaking his head at the good memories.

Of course, it wouldn't have been Jungkook. He would always keep everything as tidy as possible even if he was in a rush if only so it all looked nice.

Taehyung walked forward to the kitchen again as he spoke.

- Yeah, I was just... guilt-working a little bit. - He snapped his mouth shut once he realized he had said the truth instead of just "working", but instead of saying anything else, he went ahead and took out two mugs. - Would you like some coffee, sir? -

- Yes, I'll take some, thank you. - Jeon answered in a soft, grateful voice as he walked towards the other side of the kitchen counter. Taehyung could feel his stare at his back as he served them coffee. - What do you mean by "guilt-working"? -

Taehyung swallowed. But then, as he served his own cup, he remembered Jungkook and how he was a master at putting on a mask, so he tried to match his energy as he said half-truths while turning around with the cups.

- This morning, my wife told me that the kids woke up unwell at the hospital, so I tried to--

- Your kids are at the hospital? - He asked immediately with composed worry. Taehyung looked up as he left the cup on the counter, but found it easier to talk to him when he wasn't looking at him directly, so he looked back down.

- Yeah. They tried to walk out of the house without supervision for the first time and then... everything happened. - He finished with a nod and a shrug, conveying with this that he was talking about the awful happenings of the day before with those terrorists.

He looked up when Jeon took his cup and saw him frowning down at it as he thought, before finally asking.

- That's horrible, I'm so terribly sorry for whatever happened to your kids. - He said as he looked up with a sorrow-filled stare that didn't look like it hid anything behind.

Taehyung had to force himself to nod and say nothing, even if he wanted to yell at him "What about your own kid?". It was in moments like this where he couldn't unsee Jungkook, crying his eyes out or looking like a ghost, or straight-up forgetting that he had been afraid of something merely a second after it had scared him. It was infuriating that this man could say such things as the one he just did and sound genuine when there Jungkook was, traumatized and hurt, believing to be a burden when someone shows him love because he's so much used to dislike and violence. How can this man be sorry about someone else's kid when he kicked his own five-year-old in the stomach when he had only been trying to hug him? Infuriating.

But he had to keep up the act. He was just about to ask him politely why he was here in the first place when Jeon went on with the chit-chat.

- How old are your kids? -

- They're ten, sir. - He answered with an unstoppable little smile yet his heart cried out at the memory of their screams.

- Both? - He asked, surprised, as he lifted his cup.

- Yes, they're twins. Boy and girl. -

Jeon took a sip and smiled.

- Well, that's lucky, ain't it? Two in one. I would've liked that much better, it would've saved me all that "growing" part, because, you know, kids have their stages in life, so I would've really liked it if they would've just grown up together and mature as one, that way I wouldn't have to go back to taking care of little kids, you know? - He chuckled. - Like, having to buy toys for five years for all of them, then books, then computers.... instead of having to buy toys for this one and books for this one and... - He rolled his eyes as he let out a deep breath and they both chuckled again. - You're really lucky, they'll both finish their education at the same time and free you and your wife in one go. - He laughed again and lifted his cup in cheers. Taehyung mimicked him.

All the while... he thought of all the ways he wanted to hurt this man. These were his real colors. He doesn't care about family, he only cares about work, connections, and his own pleasures, nothing and no one else. He only sees his kids as future workers, nothing else; he never cared about their growth, he only cared that they would grow up and finally leave the house to go to work, nothing else. These are the kind of people that repulsed Taehyung the most, the ones that were so selfish they have never cared about anybody else other than themselves and their own happiness, and it's only because of this that they are able to live without guilt.

But he had to laugh with this arrogant prick. And this is when he understood why Jungkook would have an "inconsistent relationship" with his father. Because one day he would look him in the eyes and lie, but then other, his hatred would've been too much to try.

Right as Jeon took another sip from his coffee, Taehyung finally asked.

- Just because it worries me a little bit... Was there an urgent reason for you to come here? - He saw Jeon chuckle as he swallowed and hurried to say. - If not, that's fine, I'm just a little on edge, this is my third cup this morning. -

Jeon laughed in earnest and shook his partially gray hair. If he hadn't been such a despicable father, Taehyung would've thought he even looked too handsome for being a man in his fifties. But just because the skin is glowing red doesn't mean the apple can't be rotten on the inside.

- No, I didn't really have an urgent matter, it was simply that I wanted to ask you how yesterday went with my other son, that's all. -

Oh... his other son, not "my son Junior" or, as he had said in other meetings, "my daughter Amelia", no, his other son.

Taehyung had to stop his hands from balling into fists and simply nod in understanding as he took a sip of his coffee, if only to calm his throat so he wouldn't start screaming once he started talking.

- It went... mostly well. - He went on with the narrative Jungkook had told him to use as they arrived last night.

Jeon grunted and shook his head.

- What did he do? -

Funny how the culprit in any narrative is always Jungkook.

- He umm... - Taehyung let out a fake chuckle. - He threw a vase full of water over himself? - He said with an insecure voice as he cringed visibly.

- He... what? - Jeon frowned deeply, putting his cup down.

- We were talking--Well, no, I was talking to him about how I was able to afford everything we were buying because of my hard work and, well, I was telling him about my own story and how I did my ph.d and all of that, to encourage him, you know? And I thought I was really getting to him, but then he knocked something off on a counter that then... made a vase full of water fall on himself. - He frowned just like Jeon as he took a long sip of his coffee. He hated saying all of this, it was really putting Jungkook to be as bad as his father thinks he is.

Right on queue, Jeon sighed deeply and looked up at the heavens.

- Yes, that sounds about right. He would do anything to make you stop talking, and... he made a scene in the middle of a mall by throwing a vase on himself. - He shook his head and looked down as if to say "what did I do wrong?", and Taehyung just wanted to take out a knife. But then he kept on talking and Taehyung had to keep it in. - I'm guessing he made you buy him a new shirt because "it was cold" - He made the quotation marks and pursed his lips.

But Taehyung got genuinely curious about that.

- Yes...? Wait, had he done this before? -

- Yeah. To me. - He said with disappointment and then grabbed his cup again to take a sip. Now, Taehyung's chuckle was a real one.

- Actually? He threw a vase on himself in the middle of a mall just to make you stop talking? - It sounded so bizarre, but, at the same time, doable.

By hearing him chuckle, Jeon looked up and gave a half-grin as he kept on shaking his head.

- Yes. It was so humiliating. - He grunted. - We were having an argument while we waited for Amelia to buy herself some clothes and then he knocked something over, just like you said, but it wasn't a vase of water that fell on him, it was a fish tank. - He laughed at how unbelievable the memory was as Taehyung raised an eyebrow at the awfulness of it as he chuckled along. - The whole thing toppled over and that dirty water and fishes and little pebbles fell on him, it was disgusting, and then everyone turned around to watch and I just wanted to run from there. And let me tell you, if that security guy hadn't asked me directly if he was my son, I would've. - He laughed again and visibly cringed. - He humiliated me in front of all those people and then had the nerve to complain about the cold when I told him to walk back home. I mean, what do you want me to do, let him stain the seat? He smelled like rotten fish, for Christ's sake. - He laughed harder at that and slapped his hand down on the counter.

And Taehyung chuckled with him with his head down and teeth clenching to breaking point. He had to physically shake his head at himself when he wanted to leap up and strangle this man.

But then he took a deep breath. If he wanted to know what happened, then he'd tell him quickly so he could go away again.

- So, that happened. - Taehyung started once more as he looked up at him and Jeon took a long sip of his drink. - But other than that, it was a nice outing. He helped me with the groceries and curtains and a lot of other stuff; he's really good company when no one's trying to point out everything he does wrong. - He shrugged as he grabbed his cup with both hands to warm them a bit.

But Jeon scoffed.

- And how does he intend to grow up if he can't take criticism, huh? - He asked a rhetorically sarcastic question as if they weren't talking about his own son but a criminal of sorts. - You know...? He had always been... off, somehow. - He started to admit in a low voice, his eyes looking off as he remembered with a frown.

And Taehyung paid close attention, not only because he needed to know how this man felt about Jungkook but also because he was genuinely curious to hear how other people viewed him growing up. So, he stayed silent and watchful as Jeon began to tell him.

- I won't bore you with the whole story, but, to tell you the truth, I've never known how to act with him. - He confessed with a baffled shake of the head as he looked back at Taehyung. - Maybe it had something to do with the way he was born. He was a premature baby, only seven months, but even so... With Amelia, it was a piece of cake, she was a princess thru and thru and she loved every second of it; Junior is a jokester, a little firework, he's lively and thrives at being a very good center of attention; Jungkook...? He wants to be alone but then wants us to have family nights, he doesn't want to be the center of attention but then explodes when we're ignoring him, he doesn't like to be bought things but then complains whenever we forget to buy him something, he wants us to be more present but then sneaks out the window every night to do who knows what, he seems like a silent artist when he reads and paints but then he can't go a day without leaving some kid bleeding in the mud. -

- Just... what am I supposed to do with that? - He grimaced. - He's erratic and volatile, just how am I supposed to act around him when I have no idea if he's in the mood for being aggressive or being a weakling? Whenever I try to make a joke with him, sometimes he would laugh back, and others? He would look away as if I had just slapped him in the face. I would ask about what books he's reading but he's always saying "the ones in my room", I've never been able to have a pleasant conversation with him and it's all his fault. He's made himself so unpredictable that no one wants to get close and figure out what kind of Jungkook he's going to be today. If only he would grow up once and for all, he would drop the rebellious-teenage act, and then maybe we could finally be the family he always swore he wanted. But no, he's twenty-one and the first thing he did when he got to this prestigious university was to get in a fight. - He sighed heavily. - I seriously don't know what else to do with him. -

With a final look of annoyance, Jeon looked down at his cup and finished his drink.

...Was that how other people see Jungkook? Taehyung wouldn't know since Jungkook has always told him that he had changed abruptly the second they met, so he never saw this aggressive or punk part of him as a real characteristic, he has only seen those as two of his countless list of masks. But with masks, there come risks, he could slip or forget or snap out of character and into who he really is for long enough that he would confuse everybody. So, Taehyung understands why everyone would think he's volatile, with one day this and one day that. Because he's not like everyone wants him to be, so he created these personas to pay up from being so different yet he could only act so far without feeling suffocated by constant lies.

But why has he needed to resort to lying from a very early age? He understands the kick in the stomach to be painful way beyond the physical, but why did he hide the pain of it? Maybe, if he showed how he really felt about it all... No, there were a lot of things at stake there. If he had indeed shown himself hurt by being stopped from trying to give a man a hug, they would've done way worse to him than the frozen shower they threw him into.

...Wait... No... What if they had done something way worse than that? What if they had called in someone else to help with whatever was happening to "the little one"? What if... Mr. Jeon and his wife had heard of one of their closest friends having a problematic child as well and guessed that he knew what to do with those?

Jungkook and his friends swear he met him in person for the first time this past week, but Evans said he had known him since he was born.

Whenever Jungkook's tired, he does whatever he's told, just like when Evans had commanded him to do something and his eyes turned lifeless.

Jungkook has a great dislike for "grown men in suits" or "men that resemble his father". But what if the dislike didn't start with his father but with Evans himself?

Even now, all Evans had ever done was regarding Jungkook and how Taehyung was somehow "spoiling" him for letting him do things he considers won't help him grow up, just like Jeon had said Jungkook needed to.

Taehyung wasn't sure if his blood was boiling or running cold through his veins, but he stood as still as possible as the thought came to his mind by the time Jeon had put his cup down on the counter once more. His knees wanted to give out completely from under him as he saw Jeon giving him a grin right after he had come up to the conclusion that this man had purposefully let a child abuser "teach" his kid "manners". Taehyung wanted to clutch the counter for support when he saw those open and genuine warm eyes looking at him as he thanked him for the coffee. Because this same man had known what had happened to that other kid and simply continued to befriend that monster. This man, who smiles at his workers and remembers their names and birthdays to treat them like they were family, allowed his own best friend to abuse his kid merely because he "had no idea what else to do with him".

Jungkook... his beautiful Jungkook... What had they done to him?

- Well, Taehyung. I have something to say to you so please take it seriously. - Jeon said with a grin.

Taehyung returned the grin and said nonchalantly...

- I'll try. -

Making Jeon chuckle before he asked his question.

- I've noticed you work really hard and really well, you're very organized and serious which is something I will always respect, and you also seem to be a nice man to pass the time with. However, if you're trying to guide Jungkook only because you're trying to get to me, I'll advise you to stop. - He said with a confident grin. - You really don't have to stress yourself or waste your time doing something like that, also, don't waste your money, you don't need to do all that to get to me, you are really easy to talk to already, you don't need to prove me anything. - Jeon was trying to reassure him nonchalantly as if he truly believed what he said.

A narcissist.

Taehyung lost a bitter chuckle and finished his drink in one gulp before he answered him at last.

- Tell me, Mr. Jeon... Why do I have the feeling that you don't want me to get close to Jungkook? - Jeon furrowed his eyebrows with a confused grin on his face. - Because I've already lost count on how many times you've tried to make me stop "trying", always telling me that it's a waste of time and energy, always saying that I shouldn't bother myself with doing all of that. If I'm being honest right now, it was never to try and get to you, sir. I'm not that kind of person. I simply wish to take him under my wing. You said just now how he needs to stop being a teenager and grow up, well, I want to help him do so. - Then he tilted his head slightly and finally asked. - Or are you telling me to stop because someone else is trying to do the same thing? -

Jeon tilted his head back, surprised and also a little satisfied.

- You're truly a noble person, Mr. Kim. There aren't many of those out there, congratulations. - Taehyung was fighting so his grin wouldn't turn to a snarl as he continued. - I do believe it's a waste of energy because someone else had tried to do the same and failed. -

- Who? - He asked immediately and tried for it to sound nonchalant as he took the cups to leave them in the sink. But even if he knew the answer, it still made him almost throw the cups onto the floor.

- The head of the law department, Alexander Evans. He's been my best pal since kindergarten. -

How... lovely.

- Really? - Was all Taehyung could say without sounding ludicrously about to murder him. He simply gave him a grin and gently left the cups he bought with Jungkook into the sink to then go back to where he had been standing before.

Jeon nodded with a satisfied grin.

- Yes, indeed. He had his kid a couple of years before we had Jungkook, and he also got out to be a bit of a brat, so he knew how to handle those kinds of kids while we, on the other hand, didn't. Amelia and Junior never made us break a sweat, it was so easy, so we had to call him to help us with Jungkook because we had no idea what to do and we had no time on our hands, also, any nanny we got for him would always end up calling us every two seconds because they always had no idea what to do with him; but Alexander knew, so he, just as noble as you are right now, had taken the task on his hands along with everything else he was doing at the time. - He clicked his tongue as he shook his head. - Such a nice friend... and still, Jungkook wouldn't cooperate. -

It appeared he would've left it at that. If it hadn't been because Taehyung asked again as conversational as ever,

- What would he try that wouldn't work out? I can't imagine how stubborn a kid must be. -

- I know, right? - They nodded at each other and then Jeon continued, seeming at ease in the company of someone who understood him. - We weren't there when he was at the house with Jungkook because we had to work right when he was free, and sometimes Amelia or Junior also wouldn't be there because they had study sessions or hobbies, so Alexander was free to use the whole house for whatever he needed to do; the help was always at his disposal. He told us that he had to read a lot to educate his own child, so he was using different techniques to see what would fit best; I remember one mostly, it was the "rules game". He told us that he tried playing with him to get his trust, so they would play around in the house, and then, if he did something out of the rules of the game, he would have a "penalty" or something, so he would learn the importance of rules. -

- It would work for a while, it truly would, but then as time went on, Jungkook turned really quiet all of a sudden and then he would have sudden "outbursts of rebellion", I don't even know how to call those. It was so strange that it would truly freak me out. One time he stood, simply looking at me talking to someone on the phone, and then squinted his eyes as if he truly had no idea if I was real or not. I was so concerned that I nearly called an ambulance once or twice, but Alexander would always tell me that he would take care of it. - Again, he shook his head with emotion. - The best mate anyone could ever have, really, he took so much on his shoulders to save us the shame of calling anybody else for help. Taehyung, I merely tried to get you to understand the heaviness of the task you're trying to take because I've seen my friend and how tired and restless he seemed most of the time, and that lasted for years and even though, Jungkook's still the same, so I'm trying to save you the trouble. I'm sure Alexander would tell you the same. -

... Taehyung smiled gently...

- Thank you so much for worrying over me, Mr. Jeon. -

- Oh, it's nothing, Mr. Kim. I'm like this with all my friends. - He said with a chuckle that Taehyung returned as he nodded in appreciation.

- Just for curiosity, though... - He said, in a joking manner, making Jeon laugh before he continued. - You said it lasted years, but how many? - Then he chuckled. - How many do I have to surpass so he could start listening at last, huh? -

Jeon barked a booming laugh before answering.

- You would have to surpass a bit more than fourteen years, Mr. Kim. Alexander saw Jungkook the day he was born, and since that day, he had always told me what to do, so I reckon I should start counting right about then. But, if you want a more precise timing I should say... about nine years or so since the actual lectures started when Jungkook was five. - He nodded with a confident smile at the ludicrous thought of Taehyung spending so much time wasting his energy on something that would count for nothing like his youngest child.

- Any particular reasons why they started when he was five? - Taehyung asked with squinted eyes that made Jeon laugh again.

- I shouldn't tell you what happened, what would you think of me if I did? - Could he realize that a kick to a five-year-old was uncalled for? - But if you must know, I guess I could confide it in you. -

Taehyung smiled broadly.

- Oh, of course, you can, Youngsoo. Always, indeed. -

- Fine, fine, I'll tell you. - He said with a laugh. Anyone would think they've always been best friends for life if they could see this scenery. - But don't look too disgusted when you do, alright? -

- I promise I won't - He answered with a hand over his chest.

Jeon seemed to like that because he nodded, pleased.

- Good, so... Jungkook tried to hug me. - He left it at that, and Taehyung, waiting for him to say the part anyone should be disgusted with, tilted his head and frowned in confusion. But Jeon just nodded vigorously. - I know, right? Like... - The man was speechless as he recalled the event with a grimace appearing on his face. - He truly tried to do it. I was so scared for my child when I saw him trying to approach me with his arms open, like... -

That... was disgust on his face. On his face.

- ...what did you do to stop him? - Taehyung asked with a deep concern for his friend.

- I had to kick him away from me, didn't I? What would you've done? I ask you... - He sighed greatly, very much disgusted as he shook his head.

Taehyung swallowed and stopped himself as best he could.

- Well... you don't hear that every day, do you? -

- Yes, I know. - Jeon sighed with a hand over his chest. As if... he had been the victim... - But of course, I handled it just like I should've. It wasn't my fault the kid's just that way, nor Miranda's, in the slightest. But--Oh! Bloody hell, is that time already? - He exclaimed suddenly once he looked behind Taehyung at the oven clock and then down at his wrist to recheck. - Gosh, time surely flies by, doesn't it? - Jeon chuckled as he rounded the counter towards the door, Taehyung following after him. - I'm sorry for finishing our chat, my friend, but I must dash. Miranda should be worried I'm late for lunch with her. -

Taehyung glanced at the clock with the fixed grin he had on his face that couldn't be taken off unless someone wanted him to become a killer.

- It's... five-till- twelve... ? -

- Yes. - He nodded back as he opened the door for himself and straightened his suit jacket before turning around and looking at him on the threshold, right where they had started. - I'm always ten minutes early for everything, so I'm practically late for what she's accustomed to. - Then he sighed greatly and placed a hand over Taehyung's shoulder. - It was truly enjoyable to talk with you, Taehyung. Even if what we were talking about wasn't that pleasant. - He chuckled, Taehyung followed along, and they both merely laughed because Jungkook was truly the most unpleasant thing to talk about. - I genuinely hope to do this more often, my friend. - He let go of him and turned around towards the elevator while Taehyung stood there, holding tightly to the doorknob. And right when Jeon entered the elevator, he said. - Next time, I'll bring Alexander so you'll both meet, shall I? - He said, happily, as he waved a hand for the last time and the doors finally closed.

Taehyung, as slowly as he could, closed the door and clicked it shut.

And then... he exploded.

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