Et Vobis?

And You?

Jungkook could feel himself getting aroused, he's hot under the hoodie and getting hard under his trousers, he's more than enjoying the attention Taehyung was giving to his sensitive neck and he's feeling really good. He barely has space in his head to feel shy about the light when all he's thinking is what his senses are picking up at the exact moment.

But... as much as he's feeling way better than when he woke up and there seems to be nothing wrong with him, he can feel himself still a little bit drained, his limbs are quite heavy and he's not feeling energetic at the moment. He really would like to do it, to see and hear Taehyung, but he doesn't know if he will be able to go "fast" and "hard" so he's not sure what he could do at the moment would be enough to satisfy.

Jungkook took use of his hold on Taehyung's hair and gently pulled him back as he straightened his head and looked him closely in the eyes.

Taehyung looked so aroused that Jungkook doubts he would be craving something soft.

He's doubting himself, he's overthinking and he knows it but he can't stop it. What if Taehyung doesn't feel satisfied with what he could do at the moment? What if Taehyung doesn't like it if he says "not now"? He was looking at all of this as though he was a performer fearing the disappointment of their customer, how terrible this feeling was, Jungkook didn't like this feeling at all. He's feeling like he owed Taehyung the best performance he could give him at all times and that should never be the case. But if he knows it then why does he still feel anxious to tell him "no"?

- I have a problem right now. -

- Tell me. - Taehyung said right away, concentrating fully on Jungkook's words even if his eyes still looked darker than usual.

- I don't really feel... that strong right now... - His sentence cut in his nervousness to voice out his worries. And because he took too long to continue, Taehyung's eyes widened a little.

- Oh. - He seemed to have remembered something, probably what happened last night. - Oh, of course, you're not--... I mean, of course, you don't--... -

- Wait, wait... - Jungkook cut him before he could start blaming himself for being pushy or something just as wrong. - "But", I was going to say "but", it just didn't come out in time. -

- Oh. - Taehyung said again, but this time with relief, and they both chuckled. - You were saying then? - Taehyung nudged him to continue with a grin, knowing where this was going.

Jungkook giggled, feeling nervous again as he averted his eyes.

- Well, I'm not feeling that... energetic if you will, so... well, I thought, if you really want to do it– I also! of course, me too. - He giggled again. - But if it could be like, mild or... soft? I don't really–... Could it be soft? Is that possible? Cause I don't know... - He doesn't know if people could cum without moving faster or harder.

Taehyung understood immediately and he cut him off in the best way he could've. He kissed him gently and only answered when their lips were one breath away once more.

- Yes. We can do it softly if you want, and it will still feel blissful. Remember, - He held Jungkook's chin gently with the side of his index and his thumb, making him look directly into his eyes. - just one touch of yours will suffice. Because it's you I want, not only the feeling of it. - Jungkook's breath stopped in his throat at the intensity of his stare, and he nodded in understanding. - Let's go then. - Taehyung smiled at him and Jungkook felt a billion butterflies going off all over his body, filling him with both excitement and nerves.

Jungkook nodded and, holding himself on Taehyung's shoulders, stood up. His nervous state mounted when Taehyung stood and guided him by the hand towards the bedroom. He was nervous because of the light and because this would be the first time they agreed on doing it softly, and also because, just like last night, it felt like the first time all over again. They have seen each other naked for hours on previous days, why on earth would he feel nervous to take his clothes off now? Was it just the sunlight that changed everything? From the scenery to his bravery? If it was night time would he still feel like this? When will this feeling of nerves stop for good?

Taehyung stopped them when they were beside the bed and turned around to face Jungkook who had his heart in his throat. Taehyung was smiling, eyes dark and hands sliding around Jungkook's waist but still, he was smiling happily.

- I'm particularly excited about this one. - Jungkook lifted his eyebrows as he wrapped his arms around his neck. - Because it's daytime. - Jungkook let out a humorless laugh and hid his face in his neck. - Not only because it could be good for you. I guess... daylight makes me want to take my honey-sweet time. With every kiss... - He kissed his cheek. - every touch... - His hands went slowly under his hoodie. - I want to take my time loving every single part of you, and seeing you. - His voice sounded huskier as his lips neared Jungkook's ear.

And Jungkook felt so touched by what he said, as well as aroused and in love. What a strange feeling this was, he was both in love and turned on, it was so powerful in both heart and body that he didn't really know how to handle those feelings or even if he could understand them right enough, the only thing he knew was that he was grateful to have him.

He straightened his head and connected their lips, sealing away his promise.

Taehyung's hands took the hem of his hoodie and slowly lifted it, all the while the back of his fingers brushed against his torso. They disconnected their lips so Jungkook could lift his arms and Taehyung could take it off completely, for then to discard it beside them on the floor. Taehyung's eyes never left him while his own breathing intensified and he felt the mad urge to hide, he felt so exposed with his torso bare. But then Taehyung neared him again; neared his lips, grabbed his chin gently tilting his head slightly up, and, with their lips being one breath away he whispered.

- You're so beautiful. - Then with the back of his other hand he caressed down the curve of his waist, next thing, he traced those same fingertips up along his abs and the slightly marked muscles on his ribs, gently tracing up his chest... and throat... until he grabbed the sides of his neck and kissed him passionately.

Jungkook was breathless as his hands grabbed Taehyung's wrists. His skin felt warm even if the apartment was chilly and his mind was going in and out of focus between the sunlight and Taehyung. But he forced himself to only think of him, only him and his touch, only him and his breathing, his kisses, the way he held him by the sides of his neck... Yes... only him...

Jungkook's hands traced their way from Taehyung's wrists to his shoulders and then down by his sides, feeling the curve of his waist until he could feel his pants, where he grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and placed his hands under it, feeling his hot skin and hard abs. Taehyung's lips stopped slowly, and he let go of Jungkook to grab his t-shirt by the back of his neck and pull it out to then drop it on top of Jungkook's hoodie on the floor.

Their lips were still close enough to kiss and both were breathless. It was the first time he was seeing Taehyung in daylight and even if it was a gray and cold day, his skin... his skin was so beautiful. It was a little bronzier than his own pale white skin, he could see some little scars and tiny moles he had never seen before.

And he traced them with the tips of his fingers.

He traced the lines of his muscles, up and down his torso, up and down his arms, and he was getting lightheaded the more he looked at him, the more he felt him, he was feeling himself getting weaker with the pleasure the sight of his beautiful body was giving him, and he got closer to him, a half of a tiny step. He could feel the heat emanating from his skin before they could even touch, he could hear Taehyung's panting beside his ear as his hands barely brushed the back of Jungkook's shoulders.

And right when Jungkook took the last tiny little step and their torsos connected, it was like an electric current hit the both of them.

Taehyung's hands tightened against Jungkook's skin, bringing him even closer while Jungkook's hands went around Taehyung to do the same thing. Both with their lips stationary against the other's neck, drowning in the feeling of the other's skin. Taehyung's hands started to caress up and down his back making him let out a deep breath and kiss the skin against his lips, kiss up and up his neck until he reached his ear, and he kissed and kissed with his eyes closed, guided with how intense Taehyung's breathing got and staying there, on that soft little part beneath his ear, when he heard a little moan; kissing and sucking there, feeling the vibration of his voice against his neck where Taehyung had placed his lips, and only stopping when he felt Taehyung grab him by the waist and push him gently to the side. Jungkook obliged to the touch and moved. Taehyung guided him gently, making him walk backward until he felt the bed against the back of his knees.

Jungkook kissed his way down Taehyung's neck, down the center of his chest, down the center of his abs, until he was seated on the bed with his hands on Taehyung's hips. He looked up at Taehyung for instructions, and the sight was one to behold. There was no sexier, most beautiful, or arousing person in this whole world for Jungkook than Taehyung. Kim Taehyung. His eyes were dark, he was panting, he was biting his lip as he looked down at Jungkook and grabbed the back of his head in both hands.

- Lay down. - Taehyung told him gently.

And Jungkook obliged, he pushed himself back on the bed with his hands and laid down with the windows at his head and Taehyung at his feet watching him intently. Gently, he pulled Jungkook's socks off and then his own, for then to crawl his way over Jungkook until he was in between his legs and at eye level with his desirous half-closed eyes. Taehyung gave him a soft smile and then leaned down to kiss him.

He was so gentle as he kissed his lips... down his jaw... down his neck... over his collarbone and his shoulders... down his chest... and Jungkook felt something brand new yet again when Taehyung neared his lips closer and closer to his nipple, he kissed around it, and then licked it.

Jungkook's body jolted and his eyes almost closed but he was able to see Taehyung looking up at his reaction, and then licking it again. Jungkook's eyes closed for good this time, and Taehyung seemed to have taken that as confirmation because he placed his mouth over it and sucked it, flicking his tongue over and over again, making Jungkook moan.

The slow-flowing of pleasure he got when Taehyung touched his nipples with his fingers was nothing like this, this was an open flame of pleasure right on his untouched dick.

Every sucking, every time Taehyung moved his tongue or pinched his other nipple at the same time, his dick twitched under his jeans and he moaned.

- Tae... - He grabbed a fist full of Taehyung's hair in one hand and the bed covers in the other.

Taehyung slowly stopped and when his lips disconnected, his fingers took their place as he moved up to hover over Jungkook's lips. Both of their mouths half opened, Jungkook whimpered at the feeling of Taehyung's hand still on his nipple, and Taehyung seemed to like having his lips right there in almost contact every time he whimpered or moaned.

Right when his hand let go of his nipple, he kissed him. But only to kiss him once. Then, he leaned up to look him in the eyes and his eyes trailed down following with his gaze his own hand on Jungkook's body, going down, feeling his waist with his fingers and his abs with the heel of his hand, until he got to the edge of his pants. With one hand he swiftly unbuttoned them and undid the zipper.

Jungkook's breath got cut in his throat, and Taehyung proceeded to lean back and take off his pants and underwear, leaving them on the floor while he knelt, looking down at all of Jungkook.

And Jungkook's mad urge to cover himself came back, making him tense up when he couldn't close his legs. He bit his lip and hid his face behind his hands, hating this feeling of shyness. He knew it was completely unnecessary, and yet he still felt this way, he still felt tense. But then, he felt Taehyung leaning back down and kissing the back of his hands until his lips were right beside his ear.

- I love you. I love you. - He whispered with deep honesty in his low voice giving a kiss on his ear, and then he started kissing the back of his hands gently, waiting for him to decide when he felt good enough to let them fall, letting him have time to calm down.

Jungkook breathed in deeply, his heart growing in size as he let his hands slowly fall at either side of his head, and when he opened his eyes the sight that greeted him was of Taehyung's smiling face before he leaned down and kissed him tenderly on the lips. While they kissed, Taehyung's hands went tight against Jungkook's chest and then made their way down his whole torso, his hands touching all of him, past his waist and down his hips to his open thighs, and then up again. Touching all of him. From his wrist to his ankles, all while they kissed, Jungkook moaned softly as Taehyung panted slowly. And yet he never touched in between his thighs.

Jungkook held Taehyung's cheeks as they continued kissing to tell him just how desperate he was to be touched. But then he remembered how Taehyung had said he wanted to take his time, so he couldn't bring himself to rush him on anything. Instead, while Taehyung slid his hands around his waist, making him arch away from the bed slightly, Jungkook slid his own hands down Taehyung's back, up and down his back, feeling the curve at the end of it, feeling his muscles, enjoying the slowness of it all. Until Taehyung disconnected their lips.

- Could you do something for me? - He asked huskily against his lips.

- Anything. - He promised, his mind gone, drowning in pleasure and love. But he was still conscious enough to notice Taehyung's little smile that said plainly how he was nervous to ask what he wanted. - Anything, Tae. What do you want? - With one hand, he brushed the back of Taehyung's head until finally, he took a deep breath.

- Actually... - His hands slid from around Jungkook, letting his back fully on the bed again. - It's--... Let me. - In the end, it seemed like he couldn't ask about it, but then he spoke again, looking Jungkook straight in the eyes. - Give me your hands. - He said politely in nearly a whisper, and, without really understanding but wanting to give him anything he wanted, Jungkook slid his hands from Taehyung's back and showed them to him.

Taehyung took one of his hands -holding himself with his other- and placed it palm up beside Jungkook's head. But he looked like he was placing it there meticulously like he was somehow placing Jungkook as a photographer would. Delicately he took the other hand and placed it further up at the other side of Jungkook's head. Both palms up, both elbows comfortably bent and fingers lose.

- Close your eyes. - Jungkook closed them and then felt Taehyung kiss him deeply. His fingers twitched where he had left them but otherwise, he refused to move them from their place, and then when Taehyung leaned back he grabbed his chin and placed his thumb over his bottom lip. - Leave it like that. - Referring to the way his mouth was slightly opened.

Jungkook left it like that. Either way, he was panting already. Then he felt Taehyung leaning back slightly, and his hands slid around his waist again to make his back arch away from the bed. But Taehyung wasn't pressing himself against him like he usually does, there were just his hands bringing him up.

Curiously, Jungkook peeked through his eyelashes and he saw Taehyung looking down at him... with so much desire. He was looking at all of him, how he was positioned entirely, from his hands to his naked legs around him, looking up and down with his lips between his teeth and his chest heaving.

So, he had placed him in the most arousing pose for himself to see. Jungkook's mouth closed as he started to grin and he bit his lip as he opened his eyes just a little bit more.

- Like what you see? -

Taehyung grinned, letting go of his lip, and grunted.

- You have no idea. - Then his hands slid from around him and up past his chest and shoulders to his hands, and intertwined their fingers as their lips were a movement apart, staring at each other.

- So it was a pose you wanted me to do? - Jungkook asked, and then Taehyung's still clothed pelvis rubbed slightly against his member, making his eyes close with a gasp.

- To take a mental picture. - He answered in his low voice, and then rubbed lightly against Jungkook again, making him bite his lip. - I sometimes like to place things a certain way for my eyes' enjoyment. - He rubbed again, making Jungkook whimper. - But really... I don't need to place you in any way, you already... - He trailed off and rubbed down a little harder making Jungkook's head tilt back as he moaned. - This little pose was just something I saw you do in a dream and... - He grunted. - Oh God, you look so good. All the fucking time. - He moaned as he watched Jungkook bite his lip in deep pleasure.

Then he let go of him completely and placed his palms against the bed, holding himself up with straight arms while his eyes were closed and his hips disconnected from Jungkook again.

Jungkook had a moment to breathe at that. It surprised him that he actually needed it once he got it, he was much weaker than he thought, and yet it all felt so good, it was like he couldn't move much but Taehyung was working so wonderfully well that he felt amazing without much exertion from himself. This is a pity in a way because he truly wanted to concentrate on Taehyung as much as he was doing it to him right now.

However, as he watched Taehyung stand up to take his remaining clothes off, he decided that if Taehyung wanted to take his time on him right now, then so be it. Let him do everything he wanted, touch him in every way he desired, place him in every pose he liked, Jungkook will have his time to worship him at night. Maybe tonight, maybe not tonight, nobody knows and frankly Jungkook doesn't care about anything other than Taehyung getting naked right in front of him.

No mortal eyes should be allowed to see this body. Jungkook felt blessed right now.

Taehyung wasted no time, he just took his pants and underwear off, left them there on the floor, and kneeled right back between Jungkook's legs, connecting their hard-ons and then their chest as they gasped, leaving his lips right beside his ear while Jungkook wrapped both arms and legs around him and he looked thru half-closed eyes at what little of Taehyung he could see; his shoulder in front of him, his bicep at one side and his head at the other. Just knowing that it was Taehyung was what made the fire flare up.

And then Taehyung started to move his hips, slowly but steadily, so deliciously, Jungkook let out a breath through his opened mouth.

- I know something we need to buy tomorrow. - Taehyung panted low in his ear, it sounded as though he could be grinning.

- What? - Jungkook nearly moaned as his hands went up to Taehyung's shoulders bringing him even closer. His mind wasn't entirely on that conversation, but then Taehyung said something that caught him off guard.

- Lube. - When the meaning of what that cheeky bastard said clicked in his head, Jungkook giggled in shock, eyes opening wide as his legs and arms tried to close in on himself by instinct only to make Taehyung press tighter to himself. And while Taehyung chuckled right in his ear, he hid his blushing face in his neck. - It could be used for many more things, you know? - He tried to explain himself poorly while he was still grinning and moving his hips. - But just for curiosity... are you nervous? -

- Of course, I am. - Jungkook muttered against his neck, soothed or perhaps lulled away from his blushing by the rocking of Taehyung's hips over his own. And Taehyung started to kiss his ear slowly, making him even dizzier.

- That's very good to know. - He whispered low, reassuringly. - That way I know how to do it well. Because that's all I want... - He kissed lower into his neck. - For you to feel good... - His hips lost their contact with Jungkook's as he kissed lower over his collarbones. - Tell me... are you feeling good? -

This kind of pleasure was so good and at the same time so relaxing. He was loving the deep attention they could give to each other when they were doing it slowly.

- Yes. - Jungkook panted, and Taehyung crawled a little back up to his lips.

- You like it? - It seemed he liked it when Jungkook said it, his eyes were longing as he waited for Jungkok to answer again. So Jungkook did, as he stared right into his eyes and breathed a little hard against his lips.

- Yes, I like it. -

Taehyung closed his eyes, really liking what he heard, and he neared his ear to Jungkook's lips.

- Tell me right here, Love. Tell me what you like. - His hand trailed down Jungkook's torso and suddenly grabbed him firmly by the dick, making his eyes roll back with a strangled moan, and, while Taehyung's fist when down slowly on the shaft making him whimper and jolt slightly, he told him.

- You. - He moaned, his lips right against the tip of Taehyung's ear as he felt his fist going back up again just as slowly making him bite his lip as he moaned with his eyes rolling and his back arching from the bed against Taehyung's hard chest.

Taehyung cursed under his breath at the sight of him. And Jungkook was feeling more than pleasure right now. Feeling Taehyung's big fist going up and down, slowly up and down, torturously up... and... down. Grazing the underside of the tip for a moment before going back down again and grabbing his balls. Jungkook's back arched again and his legs twitched around Taehyung, his eyes closed as his senses were overstimulated. And it was all so slow, Taehyung's panting, his fist, the pleasure, it was all slow, so it lasted more.

While Taehyung's fist was going back up again, Jungkook tried to concentrate on something, at least just one thing aside from the unbelievable pleasure. He opened his eyes as much as he could, and just the sight of Taehyung's aroused face looking down at him could've made him close them right back if it weren't because of his determination. Biting his lip and muffling a particularly high moan when his tip was being momentarily stimulated, he placed one hand on Taehyung's shoulder and traced his way down his chest, down his abs, looking at how Taehyung's eyes got momentarily distracted as he looked down at where Jungkook's hand was heading and feeling how his hand on his shaft slowed down into a stop once his hand was tracing his v line with his fingers, right beside his throbbing member.

Kind of shyly, Jungkook grabbed it. And Taehyung trembled and gasped as his eyes closed. The effect his touch had on Taehyung was still something his mind hasn't been able to grasp even after all the reminders. He loves it.

Slowly, he started to move his hand just like Taehyung had been moving it on him, and Taehyung moaned low. The feeling of Taehyung's member on his hand was still so new. Soft at the touch, hard at the grasp, hot and throbbing, a natural masterpiece just like the rest of him. And then he felt how Taehyung started to move his own fist again, up and down, following Jungkook's rhythm.

He opened his eyes and looked down at Jungkook, both panting, whimpering when their tips were stimulated and then moaning here and there, at the sight of the other looking right at their eyes while they touched each other so sensually slow; at the feeling of the other's hand right on their sensitive member stimulating their pleasure higher the longer they touched; at the sound of the other's voice coming undone in weak moans and deep pantings. Their scenes were completely concentrated on the other, nothing more, nothing else, just... him, that was all that mattered to them.

Suddenly, Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's hand and gently guided it away from his member, only for then to grab both of them in his hand, concentrating his fist on their heads, and slowly but tightly he rubbed them together, creating friction right under the heads where it's most sensitive.

The feeling hit both of them at the same time. Taehyung moaned low through his teeth and Jungkook's head tilted weakly back against the bed, trying to open his legs even wider in instinct. It felt so good. The only thing Jungkook could feel aside from Taehyung and pleasure was the heat.

Taehyung leaned down, propping himself on his elbow beside Jungkook's head and getting close to his ear, breathing hard as his hand kept up the slow build-up of pleasure.

- I love to hear you when you feel good... - Taehyung's aroused low voice was such a turn-on to Jungkook, as much as the way he slowly started to kiss his ear.

Jungkook bit his lip and moaned low into Taehyung's ear, and it made him grunt against his own ear. Such intimacy, such closeness, the ecstasy of it was intoxicating.

- You make me feel so good... - He said, it came out sounding very sexy owing to the way he was feeling. His vocal cords only served for moaning at this point so the sound of it made Taehyung whimper and gently bite down on his earlobe.

- Mmmh... You make me feel really good as well... - Taehyung's voice was also very sensual, completely unable to sound anything but sexy. Jungkook felt a wave of warmth when Taehyung's hand started to move up and down their shaft, not only on the heads, and he placed his hands on Taehyung's back, bringing them up as he traced his nails against the skin. - Oh fuck... So good... - Taehyung whimpered, and Jungkook turned his head slightly to kiss Taehyung's ear. - A-Ahhh... - In a wave of strength in his complete pleasure, he started to move his hips, creating greater friction against their members. - Ah-- Jungk-- Mh-Mhhh... - Taehyung was getting weaker and weaker with pleasure right there beside his ear, making him even more aroused, even more turned on, even more desirous for more.

- Tae... - Jungkook moaned right on Taehyung's ear, making him moan low and his hand tighten as he also moved his hips. - Mh... - He moaned higher as one of his hands went up to the back of Taehyung's head and grabbed a fist full of his hair while his other hand moved down his back, nails bare.

- Oh, God... Jungkook... - Taehyung's fist concentrated on the heads once more and, because of all the previous stimulation, this felt overboard with pleasure for the both of them. Jungkook threw back his head moaning and Taehyung went in, starting to kiss hard on his neck.

Jungkook could feel both of them getting closer in the way their moans sounded more and more desperate even if Taehyung's fist was as slow as always while he rubbed their heads together. And Jungkook brought him tighter against him with arms and legs, closing his eyes while his half-opened lips were against the tip of Taehyung's ear.

Taehyung kissed and sucked the soft skin of his neck, marking it more and more, moaning in it, whimpering in it. And just when the biggest wave of pleasure went slowly over the both of them, Jungkook's body jolted and he bit the tip of his ear while Taehyung's hips went forward and he bit down on Jungkook's neck. They whimpered and shook as they cummed over Jungkook's stomach, and, as Taehyung's hand kept up the rubbing, Jungkook jolted, feeling more sensitive by the second.

Taehyung moaned low against his neck and kissed where he had bitten down before moving up to his ear again, and then to his cheek, to end up on his lips for a kiss. Oh, his lips, Jungkook's sweet heaven. He kissed him back as best as he could while Taehyung's hand kept going. He whimpered and grabbed Taehyung's shoulder, but he still kept going. And it felt too good to be bearable.

He moved his hand down to his bicep to try to stop him but he didn't, so Jungkook whined a little in the kiss, but it only made Taehyung growl and deepened the kiss.

Jungkook almost went under, he almost forgot what he was trying to do, but he caught himself in time and disconnected from the kiss.

- Tae–... - Taehyung hadn't noticed his attempts and just went in for a kiss again. And Jungkook really liked kissing him, he really liked to see him so lost in pleasure like right now, but the fist that kept going up and down their shafts was making him too sensitive and he didn't know how to act upon this new sensation, he didn't know if he should keep going or stop him, he just didn't know. Taehyung let go of his lips then, as he kissed down to his neck again. - Tae... - He panted. - You said, "for only a second". -

Taehyung moaned and talked low into his ear.

- Couldn't you give me another one, my Love? Just another one? Please, oh please... I want to feel you cum again. I want to hear you... Please... - He panted and kissed his ear so sensually it made Jungkook's eyes roll as he swallowed. He gasped for air to be able to talk.

- A little insatiable, aren't you? -

- Only when it comes to you... - He nearly growled and then the fist that was engulfing both of them, grabbed only Jungkook's, making him gasp at the sudden and intense wave of pleasure. - You... you... you... - Taehyung muttered, completely out of it as he kissed Jungkook's collarbone and his fist went up and down making Jungkook whine.

- Tae, it's too much... - His body trembled, it was like he wasn't in control of it anymore, he was reacting to the unbearable pleasure in a way that he hadn't before. He had no idea if it was fine or if he should stop, he really didn't. In a way, he didn't want to stop because it did feel good, but then again, he was tired, even if his member said otherwise. - Tae... - Taehyung leaned up then, disconnecting his lips from his collarbone to hover them close to Jungkook's while they looked each other in the eyes, and Taehyung's hand moved slowly but tortuously on his dick. - Tae... - He grabbed his hand, finally stopping him. - We can do it again tonight if you want to. -

Taehyung let out a breath.

- Yes... - Taehyung wanted to keep on going, he wanted all of it again. His thumb moved up, rubbing against the underside of Jungkook's tip, making Jungkook jolt with a whimper as his mouth opened in agonizing pleasure. - You like it. - Taehyung was hypnotized as he watched Jungkook jolting and whimpering, his back arching and falling back to the bed, his head moving to one side as he panted, watching him as his body moved on its own due to the unbearable pleasure and seeming to like it.

Jungkook couldn't really think, but if he could he would be thinking that this wasn't something he had to stop if Taehyung liked it. He trusted Taehyung even if he was out of it with pleasure, so if he was calm, then he should be too. But it was still unbearable.

- Yes, I like it but please... - He moaned as Taehyung's thumb rubbed faster. - Tae... - He couldn't say it. - Tae... - He couldn't remember what he wanted to say. - Tae... - He moaned as his back arched from the bed at the immensity of the pleasure he was under.

- Yes... - Taehyung moaned as he watched him come undone again, and his fist moved fast when Jungkook couldn't hold him back anymore, and he groaned in delight when Jungkook's eyes closed, his mouth opened and his back arched beautifully away from the bed in total ecstasy, grabbing tightly at the bed covers. Next thing Jungkook knew, Taehyung leaned down in between his thighs and placed his lips around his dick.

- Oh fuck... - Jungkook brought the covers close to his mouth with one fist and bit down on them to stifle the screams of pleasure he wanted to let out, because he was in complete pleasure, and he wanted to cum again. The unbearable stimulation became something desired by his lost mind as he felt Taehyung sucking hard up and down while his hands traced his body needily up and down his sides, up and down his thighs. And he just glanced down once, just once to see his beautiful face, and that did it. Seeing him with his eyes closed as his head moved up and down and tilted it from side to side so intently and desperately, so concentrated and lost in the desire to make him cum... it did it.

His eyes rolled back as his back arched harshly, and he screamed a high-pitched moan that got stifled by the covers while his body jolted, and jolted, and shivered, shook and trembled, and jolted again at the overbearing stimulation. He tried to regain control of his body as he brought a hand down to Taehyung's hair and pulled until his dick was out of his mouth and he swallowed, and just when Jungkook saw he had all the intention of grabbing it again with his hand he got the covers away from his mouth.

- Stop. -

Taehyung stopped immediately, his hands held Jungkook's hips and he slowly straightened up and away from his dick, with no particular emotion on his satisfied face, almost like doing what Jungkook said was an immediate reaction in his body while he crawled up again to his lips.

Jungkook sighed, completely boneless as he let go of Taehyung's hair and brushed it with his fingers before he closed his eyes, accepting his slow kiss. His dick felt so sensitive even if nothing was touching it, it was nothing he's ever felt before. Not entirely uncomfortable, just new.

Uncontrollably, he chuckled tirelessly in the kiss.

- What? - Taehyung asked with a grin as he leaned back enough to look at him, like he was not just seconds ago a lustful creature begging Jungkook to cum again, like he was a tamed puppy all over again and not the wild wolf that sucked him dry. What a beautiful creature Taehyung was. Jungkook grinned.

- All this time I was trying to stop you and what I needed to do was to say "stop". - Even his voice sounded tired, but he chuckled. Taehyung tilted his head a little to the side in confusion.

- You were trying to stop me before? When? -

Junkook's mouth opened in astonishment and Taehyung chuckled nervously. He could clearly see that Taehyung honestly had no idea he had tried to stop him before. But, instead of telling him when, he just rolled his eyes with a chuckle.

- Doesn't matter anymore. Now I know how to make you stop for good. - He hugged him around the neck, but Taehyung shook his head.

- No, no, tell me when. Did you seriously try to stop me? I need to know, did I... oh no, did I do something you didn't want me to do? - He was appalled and he hid his ashamed little face in Jungkook's neck. Jungkook chuckled. It was kind of endearing.

- You didn't do anything bad, Tae. I liked everything you did, I just tried to stop you at first because I was already tired. - He tried to reassure him, but his muffled voice was still appalled.

- Oh no, did I drain you even more? Do you feel weak? You think you might--

- Stop. - Complete silence. - See? There's nothing to worry about. Good to know you're a trained wolf. - He grinned sleepily as he patted his hair, and Taehyung finally chuckled. But now he felt... really tired. - I want to sleep now. - He said in a tiny voice as his eyes closed on their own and his limbs felt heavy.

He felt Taehyung leaning away, maybe to look at his face.

- You think you could take a shower with me first? - He asked softly while one of his hands brushed his hair, very soothingly.

- No... don't think so. - He said again in his tiny voice, and the bed was so comfortable, and his body was so exhausted, and Taehyung's warm body was over him like a blanket or a teddy bear, and he's never had a teddy bear but he thinks it would feel like this, and this felt... this felt... this... felt...

Taehyung saw Jungkook as his features softened and his hands fell from around his neck at either side of his beautiful, sleeping face. All the while, he was brushing his hair with his fingertips.

Taehyung simply stared and stared at him, not really knowing what to do other than admire his beauty. He felt as he always did once they calm down from these highs, extreme love, and attachment; unbelievable attachment. But as he stared and stared, his little smile started to disappear, and his fingers started to slow down until they stopped.

He had drained Jungkook of the little strength he had regained.

Frowning at himself, he gently leaned away from him, feeling like he didn't deserve to touch him now that he found out he had tried to stop him yet he hadn't. He slowly stood up from the bed, looked at his sleeping lover, and he thought that, even in sleep, he looked drained.

He didn't feel deserving of touching him without his consent, he felt like he shouldn't touch him without his knowledge or at least without him being conscious, but then again, he couldn't leave him like that on the bed, he was still dirty and the bed itself was a complete mess. If he left him like that, it would just feel like he had discarded him and that was way worse than any other thing in this world.

So he went to the bathroom and rapidly took two towels. The first one he left dry and as he hastily wet the second one on the sink, he caught his reflection in the mirror.

He was crying. He was in shock as he saw his own tear-stained face twisted in pain, and he was confused, angry, sad, and happy because of Jungkook and appalled because he didn't stop when Jungkook told him to, and cold because he was still naked and feeling dirty because he didn't stop when Jungkook tried to make him stop.

It was a lot of too many things at the same time, just like the night before when he had cried in Jungkook's neck before he had to leave. Every time they are intimate, it makes him too emotional to bear as well as tired. And just now the thought that maybe Jungkook could be feeling the same thing occurred to him, and he felt even worse.

He tore his eyes away from his pitiful reflection and turned off the water to go back to Jungkook. As gently as his slightly shaking hands could, he cleaned the mess on Jungkook's stomach and dried it with the other towel so he wouldn't feel cold. But he never stirred, and if it hadn't been for the clear up and down motion of his chest, Taehyung would've gotten concerned. Then he left the towels to one side and lifted Jungkook carefully from the bed to gently place his head on the pillow and leave him there. Hastily, he took off the dirty covers and ran to the closet, dropped those on the floor, and grabbed clean ones out of a box to run to the bed again and drape them neatly over Jungkook.

Once he was sure he would be fine and comfortable, took a deep breath, and cleaned the tears from his own face.

He took the towels and went to the bathroom, then put those along with the bed covers on the washer and turned it on. Once that was done, he left the door open just in case Jungkook woke up and took a shower.

Why hadn't he stopped to think that maybe Jungkook could be feeling just as emotional as he was once they reached climax? That was so selfish of him, they could've talked about it, maybe conclude something together, maybe Jungkook knew something he didn't, Jungkook's very smart and he comes up with very ingenious theories, they could've... talked. But no, fucking pent-up testosterone had to take over him.

Well, he couldn't be that angry at himself. Maybe the warm water was working but he did feel calm enough to realize that it was no one's fault he was going crazy like an animal in a rut now that he knew what it was like to feel this good, and with someone he truly loved.

Even so, he still felt terrible. Jungkook had told him before they even began that he wasn't feeling that strong, he had agreed on doing it because Taehyung himself had said it would just be a second and it would be slow and calm. But he went wild in the end. He was doing so fine, adoring Jungkook's body just like he must, just like he wanted to, he got to see him in broad daylight even if he felt nervous and a little uncomfortable in the beginning, he had let Taehyung position him and touch him however he wanted. And how did he repay him?

Taehyung sighed deeply. Yes, he stopped when Jungkook told him to stop. Because it was a direct order that he didn't have to figure out the meaning of. He looked back in his head and still couldn't figure out when it had been that Jungkook wanted him to stop. He screwed up his face in concentration but still couldn't find out when.

He turned off the shower once he finished and dried himself without once looking in the mirror. When he walked outside, he noticed that Jungkook hadn't moved at all, and grabbed their clothes from the floor to neatly place Jungkook's on the edge of the bed and then hastily put his own underwear, jeans, t-shirt and socks back on.

And then, he just stood there, watching Jungkook with absolutely no idea of what to do.

It was almost like he hadn't been a father for ten years and a Professor for seven of those. He felt like a schoolboy again, not knowing what to do outside of a woods, lost in the city if his mother didn't give him a detailed list of what to do. All over again, he was eighteen, with no idea of how to be a proper grown-up and no desire to live in the cold world outside this apartment door. He felt lost without Jungkook,.Even just the idea of it was uncomfortable. This attachment felt much more powerful than he could ever think possible, he didn't want to leave Jungkook alone for even a moment while he was asleep just in case he might wake up, or worse, he had another nightmare.

Taehyung frowned as he walked slowly to the desk beside the nightstand and sat down looking out the windows but the light was gray and cold. Just like last night had been very cold as well.

Last night had been... long. A lot of things happened even before they said goodbye. Taehyung thought back on it and remembered how tired Jungkook was before he had to go to his room and his head started hurting--

Taehyung almost groaned as he remembered how every night they've been together they hadn't had any dinner. They've been so caught up in their conversations and activities that the time flies by and Jungkook ends up having to go to bed on an empty stomach because he's too tired to take anything. That was his fault, if he hadn't stepped back for a moment and reminded Jungkook to eat, maybe he wouldn't be feeling so weak today. It was the lack of food, he's sure of it, Jungkook does a lot in the day, he's always moving and he's also thinking, thinking and thinking, he thinks a lot, theorizes, comes up with ideas, plans, or just thinks, and thinking drains a lot of energy.

And he's had a lot of things to think about. Taehyung folded his hands over the desk with a frown. Jungkook's life had made a very sharp turn in such a short amount of time, that even if he says he wouldn't want it any other way Taehyung was sure he had panicked even more than he had told him. And, last night, it was the last drop.

All the things that developed between them, what it could all meant in the society they were brought up in, the relationship with his parents and how he seemed to realised it was more messed up than he thought, meeting Alexander Evans and realizing how that man could've influenced his life for the worst, the way he seemed to panic whenever he had to think about specific things and how he gets blocked without the ability to talk or breathe, how Poppy had said last night that Jungkook might just have PTSD to men that resemble his father, how... how he looked like when Poppy and Oliver left them last night and how he wasn't talking or thinking and just... doing everything Taehyung told him to do..., the way he looked like... the way he looked like someone was painfully pinning him down to the bed when he was having a terrible nightmare and how it looked like he couldn't breathe and how tears started to roll down his face while Taehyung was unable to wake him..., how he ran when he saw Evans this morning almost like he knew where to go, or how he got swiftly under the bed when his father scared him.

Jungkook's past... is far worse than Taehyung thought, or than Jungkook himself probably thinks.

"And you?"

Jungkook's beautiful soft voice sounded in his head, almost like a wake-up call. His wise eyes looking at him as though wanting him to see his own reflection in them while his hands, the hands that had touched hundreds of books, held his face delicately as though he was far more precious, and his words tried to make him realize something while he himself thought of no one else but Jungkook.

"And you? How about your own misery? You've grieved much more than you let me see, Tae."

Again, right when he was leaving himself behind to think about someone else just like he always did, Jungkook's voice was there, because Jungkook thinks of him, and just like Taehyung would want Jungkook to think about himself, the voice of Jungkook in his head wanted Taehyung to do the same, to think of himself and not only worry about anyone else at the moment.

Taehyung rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. Then, he laid his hands down and looked unseeingly at the desk again, and he turned his head a little to the side to look at Jungkook's peaceful sleeping face. Just how could he think of himself when he had Jungkook to think about? Even in his youth, the times he would only think of himself were rare, he always thought about others, his loved ones; if he was sad, then someone else could be even sadder, if he was happy, he should go share his happiness with others.

"And you?"

... Himself?... His misery?... He... shouldn't be miserable when he has it so easy. Two lovely, healthy, happy, educated, beautiful kids, a luxurious house with a kitchen filled with food for a cook to put together meals and maids to bring to his table, tailored suits of the best material to wear on all kinds of occasions and weathers, he had the best education to become a Philosophy Professor and was lucky enough to have been given the job at Evanthe when his portfolio had only seven years of work. And also, he was blessed enough to find his destined partner right here as well, and he was given this apartment where they could hide away and be happy together. He really had no reason to be miserable, so he shouldn't be.

"...and you?"

For some reason, Jungkook's soft voice in his head sounded sad now, like he was sad Taehyung couldn't realize something. But Taehyung really shouldn't be miserable, he had no reason to.

"Should?"

...

"Should and shouldn't do, should and shouldn't be..."

...

"Those two words have been my teachers in life, and you told me that I'm not me because of what I was taught but because of what I chose to do with those teachings, and, right now... I choose to ignore them."

Well, for Jungkook he would do anything... but this just felt wrong. His own "should and shouldn't" situation was not like Jungkook's where it mostly revolved around what society said, it was about what he felt was right, and he truly felt it was wrong of him to think that he was miserable when other people had it worse than him.

Even if he was.

And he was also kind of sad.

Perhaps he was still grieving over having to leave his family.

Or he hated how he had to pretend he was stricter and stronger than he actually was.

... Maybe, just maybe... having to grow up too fast left big holes in his life where he should've been feeling happy as he enjoyed his youth, so now looking back at it was just... too painful because he couldn't go back, he couldn't take those years back, he couldn't erase all the things that happened or the things he did, the thinks he stopped doing or the things he started to do, the things he... most certainly doesn't want to tell Jungkook because it involves Daphne and he definitely doesn't want to think about her when they're together. Maybe because his resentment towards her is far greater than he wanted to think, or just because she was the face of his misery.

His misery... So he was miserable, wasn't he? Even if he had found his reason for existing and it was lying on his bed, his sadness couldn't just go away like dust. Maybe it was just like this weather. He could be happy even if it rains but, at the end of the day, it was still cold and gloomy, he will still need two blankets to protect him thru the night, and he will be longing for his loved ones while he lies alone in his comfortable bed and looks at the high ceiling of his luxurious apartment that he got by working hard on a job... that he didn't even want.

So... they were both messed up. Jungkook had countless times and in different beautiful ways said to him how he was his happiness now, and how he had helped him with his nightmares and his image of himself as well as with his moments of panic, he told him his voice had helped him calm down even if he wasn't there. And Taehyung himself knows that his need for Jungkook is far deeper than what he could describe.

For him, Jungkook was part of him now, just as important as his kids but in a completely different way. He couldn't live without his kids as well as without Jungkook. He would rather die than live without his loved ones ever again, and if Jungkook was the one taken away from him... he had no idea what he would be capable of doing.

The attachment he had for Jungkook was like nothing he had ever felt before. His need of him, to have him in his arms and his lips as well as his need to hear him, to hear his thoughts or his beautiful words, or just his need to hold him close and stare deep into his dark sparkly eyes, the need to breathe his sweet scent and watch how his cheeks turn rosy, the need to hear him laugh, the need to be there for if or when Jungkook doesn't feel well, the need to know if he's alright, the need to hear if he's happy, the need to make him happy.

He smiled sadly as he remembered his younger self. He always wanted to make people happy, to make them laugh, or just have a great time with him. He was known in his school for always having dirt somewhere, for having a new scratch every other day and for always being on the trees of the school, for knowing a lot about nature and how to survive in the wild, and for being "the wild child". But he was also known for his smile, because he was told that he was smiling all the time even without noticing, and he was also known for gifting flowers, he always loved to gift flowers to everybody because flowers were one of the most beautiful things in this world for him and he wanted for everyone to be as happy as he was so he always gave little flowers here and there one day or the other to everyone and no one in particular. It was normal for them, nothing to criticize or laugh about. He wasn't "weird" back home.

He used to love making people happy, but it only stayed when his kids came, then his priority and his wish was to make them happy. Now Jungkook... he was making him feel like himself again, making him blossom again, making him smile even when he wasn't realizing it, making him daydream, making him dream again, making him feel whole and as though his life was his once more. He wanted to give Jungkook his future.

But life is messed up right now, isn't it? In general, for a lot of people it's messed up, not only people like both of them, there've been more riots than usual in this country, but just like Jungkook said, it is scary what the authorities do to people who disobey like that. And Jungkook and himself are both criminals, just like any other person like both of them.

He doesn't necessarily have the need to shout out his love for the whole world to hear but it would be nice if he could go out on the street with a smile on his face and a hand holding Jungkook's, it would be nice if he could smile at everyone in the street and give out flowers if he wanted to without someone wanting to kill him for not being a "proper man". It would be nice if the world wasn't so fucked up.

Taehyung looked up sharply, Jungkook was moving in his sleep, turning his head to Taehyung and bringing a hand up beside his face. Good, that's good, that means the nap is working. Maybe he would be waking up soon, how long had Taehyung been sitting down? He should be going as fast as he could to get something to eat from downstairs, that way Jungkook could eat once he woke up.

Taehyung got up without making a noise and walked fast to the kitchen to glance at the electric watch in the oven. 12:30. Good, that means there's still some good lunch at the teachers' launch since they usually eat after one o'clock.

He looked towards the bedroom and made sure Jungkook was still asleep. Taking a deep breath, he walked to the kitchen counter to put on his sweater and his slippers. Or did he have to put on a suit to get out and about... Well, he wasn't obliged to do it... But should he? With a groan, he admitted that it would look more professional and how he hadn't yet seen any other teacher in this kind of clothes, and also if he's going to have to be Mr. Jeon's friend, he'll have to "live up to that".

Being upper class is to live it and look it.

He sighed and just walked back to his bathroom. Once he was ready with a suit -without a tie- and some leather shoes, he walked soundlessly to Jungkook, and then carefully left a little kiss on his forehead.

This would be so beautiful if the circumstances were better, kissing the forehead of his own Adonis as he sleeps naked on his bed before he goes to work? A literal dream he'd had for years. But this was not it yet, just not yet.

Quietly, he walked towards the door and gave Jungkook one last glance before finally taking the keys from beside the coffee maker and heading out, closing the door behind him.

It felt surreal stepping out of that apartment wearing a suit. He had to take in a deep breath before walking to the elevator. It felt almost like he just left the beautiful real world where he could be himself, and entered an apocalyptic movie where he had a character to play. How tiring it was, no wonder how Jungkook could be so mature, the world beat him up into it. He had grown up with this life, so Jungkook knows perfectly the ins and outs of characters and script lines unlike him who up until now had just gone with whatever was next and did as he was told. He wasn't as confident with his lying as Jungkook was, so right now while his mind was still emotional and only focusing on Jungkook upstairs he's praying that no one would put his ability to the test. He doesn't want to run into someone and mess things up by not knowing what to do or what to say.

Thankfully, there weren't a lot of teachers at the launch and he knew none of the ones who were there. He only knew Seokjin who was reading his paper in an armchair, but that one barely talks to anybody.

Right when he had taken his eyes away from Seokjin, Taehyung did the tiniest of jolts when he remembered something. He tried to keep calm as he walked to the counter that displayed different kinds of meals on plastic plates.

He had remembered how Jungkook had told him about Namjoon, the library guy, and about Namjoon's relationship of a year with a teacher that got here two years ago.

Taehyung's heartbeat accelerated as he surveyed the food. He remembered the moment Oliver had been showing him around a bit and he had pointed to different teachers as he gave him a small introduction for him to know who he'd be working with, and in that, he pointed at Seokjin and told him a lot of things as well as how he had been the youngest before he, Taehyung, had gotten there, and how since he got here two years ago he had barely talked with anybody.

Two years ago. Taehyung picked two plates of ravioli with salad on the side and grabbed a paper bag off a cabinet just like he had done before, putting two water bottles as well as the plates inside. His mind was going haywire with all the new information but still, he could concentrate on that one thought alone that stood up the most: Should he pick their dinner as well now that he's here? Remembering how Jungkook had said he loved Caesar's salad, he took two plates of that and put them in the bag as well.

Now, should he go talk with Seokjin?

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<3<3Happy 8 months with DEMOCRITUS<3<3

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