*Now playing - The Way I Loved You (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift*

I couldn't sleep all night, Jisung was all I could think about. I didn't know where my head was at so I tried not to act on all of my feelings in that moment.

I dazed off a lot today, which I couldn't afford as we had been extremely busy all week. My mind just couldn't stop racing with thoughts and I found myself being conflicted.

"Felix" I called for the male, making him look up from the paper. I walked towards him, "I need help"

Felix furrowed his brows "Everything okay?"

I sighed and shrugged "I don't know" I spoke honestly, "Jisung came over last night"

His brows rose "Did he?"

I nod "He was drinking and he said some things... a lot of things actually," I said, rubbing my tired eyes as they burned from the lack of sleep.

"What kind of things did he say?" Felix asked.

"He told me he loved me" Was all I admitted, "And it hurt" I look at him, "Seeing him like that hurt me and at that moment I just—" I sigh lowly "I just wanted to say it back"

He frowns slightly "What stopped you?" He asks, "You could've said it and maybe it would've ended with you being in his arms again, but you didn't—what stopped you?"

I knew that if I had then I wouldn't be here right now but with Jisung, just like Felix said—being in his arms.

I look around and bite at my lip, "You love him and he obviously still loves you. I know I should encourage more time apart for the both of you, to let change really happen but what good is that when you both seem miserable"

I look at him, furrowing my brows "I seem miserable?"

Felix sighs "I never want to make it obvious but you're my best friend. I immediately saw how being around Luca made you light up and you really seemed happy" I waited for his next words, "But now you just seem bored and over it"

I felt my vision grow blurry "Am I a horrible person for using him?"

Felix sighs loudly and walks to me, hugging me and I hug him back "No, you're just a normal person who wants to feel loved"

"But it isn't love" I whisper, "I just want to feel cared for"

Felix pulls away and looks at me "He's a good guy Minho, don't lead him on"

-

My breathing was heavy as I stared at the ceiling, trying to catch my breath.

"You seem stressed"

I look over to Luca who stares at me, "The shop is really busy this week and my mind refuses to sleep" I chuckle.

Luca smirks "Maybe I can start helping with the sleeping aspect," He says with a smug smile.

I roll my eyes and chuckle lowly, turning to him as if we were still naked from our recent activities. "So should I start paying you?" I joke around, making him laugh loudly.

"Am I becoming your hooker?" He gasps "That's naughty"

I bite my lip and lean closer to him "I like naughty" I whisper before kissing him slowly, searching for something that I couldn't find before pulling away.

He looked into my eyes and it was like the playfulness he had seconds ago was stripped away and he was now serious.

"Why do you kiss me like that?" He asks softly.

I furrow my brows "Like what?"

He stared a second longer before saying "Like you love me"

I swallow harshly "It's the only way I know how"

Jisung took all of my firsts. At such a young age I felt love and when I explored things with him, I did it with love. Kissing, touching, and everything when it came to being intimate. I didn't know how to stray away from it. Even when those things stopped involving Jisung and it became other people, I still had that emotion behind it, even when there was no love.

It was all I knew, from the beginning it was love because it was with Jisung. It always went back to Jisung.

*Now playing - The Way I Loved You (Taylor's Version) by Taylor Swift*

Are we seeing the shift here? hehe