*Now playing - To Say
Hello by The Marías*

"I missed you" I let out a breathy chuckle as I stared at the guy before me. He used to be so closed off when we were younger but now he wasn't. I guess that's what love does to you.

"I missed you too Seungmin"

"Is it my fault? I know I work a lot--"

"No" I reassure him "You're a workaholic, yes, but that's not a bad thing. This place is your baby" I said to him and he nodded slowly.

He lets out a small sigh and gives me a sad smile, "It's weird to think about it" He starts and I hum, signaling for him to continue. "How our life is now. I sometimes wonder if our younger self would be proud"

"I never thought about it in that way" I admitted. A lot has happened, just from the second I laid my eyes on Jisung in the bar that night after years of not seeing each other. I don't think I gave myself much time to sit back and just let it all sink in. The small realities I have but the overall situation I let slip my mind.

I wasn't sure if my younger self would be proud of me. I've made many mistakes and now in this moment I wonder if I would make them again. Would I have made that choice to go that night to the club if I knew things would end like this? Would I have even moved here at all? I wasn't sure, about any of it.

I never regretted loving Jisung and I still don't, that is one thing I would choose over and over again. To experience loving someone as much as I did him was almost unhealthy, I realize that now.

"Yeah, I think he would be proud of you. You've come a long way"

Seungmin shook his head lightly as he let out a small laugh "Moving to a big city is terrifying but I needed to get out of that town"

I smile and nod "Hyunjin should thank me for practically bringing you into his life" I joke.

Seungmin's smile drops and he looks at me with sad eyes "But at what cost?"

I furrow my brows "What do you mean by that?"

"What did it cost you since moving here?" He asked but not in a way that he wanted me to answer, in a way that he wanted me to think about.

If I said it cost me my life would that be dramatic? I moved here with no intention but one. I never expected Seungmin to find love so quickly but I'm happy he did. I watch everyone be in these happy relationships and wonder where I went wrong.

My mind goes back to one moment, one day, one second out of my life--changing my perspective on what we call love.

"You've always wanted to move" Seungmin changes the subject "You had the chance after graduation and I never understood why you didn't take it"

Because I hoped he would return and I wanted to be there when he did. Long story short, he never did.

I shrug "I guess I wanted to hang onto my childhood a little bit longer" which was still true.

Seungmin nods "I do miss how easy life was then, living and being a moody teenager" I chuckle and nod to that.

"I miss..." I started but hardly anything came to mind except one. "Everything," I said. "The sleepovers, game days, going to the cinema, the pool, sneaking out..." I reminisced.

"You mean most of the sleepovers I wasn't invited to"

I felt my cheeks grow hot "You were always invited" I tried to deny.

"In the end, I wasn't but I don't blame you two. You were young and in love"

Young and in love.

"That I'm not so sure of" I spoke up.

Seungmin leans onto the table and looks at me "Don't try to look past it as it means nothing, I know you and Jisung are not talking right now but you can't deny that he loves you"

"Loved, he has a girlfriend now" I corrected him "And I don't know if I see it as love anymore, right now I just look back at it and see it as him taking advantage of someone he knew loved him and would do anything for him"

"Minho" Seungmin spoke softly "You don't believe that"

I swallowed harshly "I wish I did. It would make all of this a lot easier now would it?"

He shook his head "It will never be easy when you are apart from someone you love" He said, sitting back in his chair, "I do think you made the right decision nevertheless"

"I thought you were just trying to make me confess my undying love for him and remind me to fight for what's mine?"

Seungmin shook his head "No" he laughed "I do think you two should be friends though, not now but when you are ready. I think it will be good for you both"

I squint at him "I read somewhere that befriending an ex isn't the greatest of ideas"

"You don't think it's a good idea?"

I hesitated for a moment before saying "Maybe in the future"

"At least you are open to it," Seungmin says "Now, I need to hear more about Luca"

*Now playing - To Say
Hello by The Marías*

I had this update fully written in my draft for almost two months and completely forgot about it.

That's how you know I started writing too many books at once lmaoooo