I couldn't tell you the number of times I spaced out from the time I opened up the shop till now. It was past lunch, which I had skipped, and I encouraged Felix to take Dev for lunch.

My encouragement was just my need to be alone. I wasn't blind, I noticed their lingering eyes occasionally.

It has been a week since I broke things off with Jisung, was I okay? That, I couldn't tell you.

Some nights it felt freeing. It didn't feel much like a loss and it sure didn't feel like the past months where I wasn't with him because, well I thought he was dead.

This time it didn't come out of nowhere or was unexpected. Some feelings and moments led up to our falling out—times I looked at him and all I feel felt was pain that I quickly blew off and focused on the fact that he was alive and I told myself that's all I needed.

I was a fool who believed it could be that simple.

We were both fools to think that everything would be okay after that. Sometimes staying with the person you love isn't always what's best. In this case, it wasn't.

Maybe Jisung didn't die, but something between us did.

"I brought you something back" I heard Felix's voice, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I turn to him with a small smile "You didn't have to"

Felix waved his hand, blowing off my comment "If I didn't, then when would you have eaten?" He questions and I roll my eyes.

"When I have the time"

"Which is practically never, you work too much Minho" He places the bag on the counter and looks at me again "Speaking of working too much, The club is opening back up tonight—"

"The renovations are finished?" I asked, making Felix nod with a smile.

"Yes and Changbin wanted me to pass along the message and invite you"

I was about to agree but Jisung popped into my head. There was a high chance Jisung would be there but also not, because it could be dangerous for him.

"Stop thinking about it and just agree, this could be good for you"

"Good for me? In what way?"

Felix thinks for a second "Your life has revolved around work since—well since Jisung got back" I swallow harshly because he was right.

My eyes look away from the male and sigh "I don't think I'm ready to see him"

I had told Felix about the breakup and his first instinct was to kill Jisung, for real this time, until I told him it was me that broke up with him.

Truthfully, can you break something that was already broken?

Felix walks closer to me and puts his hand on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze "He ain't going to be there"

I look up at him "Changbin is his best friend, I'm sure he will find his way"

"It's too dangerous for him to show his face around the club, he wouldn't risk it" I bit the inside of my cheek and nod slowly, making Felix's face light up "You'll go?"

"Yeah, as you said, this could be good for me"

-

The smoke-filled club was never something I had gotten used to. All the times I came here with Jisung guiding me through the crowd, hand in hand but tonight I was alone. As I pushed through the crowd my eyes couldn't help but wander the place that changed but still felt the same. The music was loud and the floor was crowded.

I walk up the stairs to where Felix said they were and it wasn't hard to find because it was the booth we always sat at. The booth Jisung would always save for us.

My eyes caught sight of Felix first and he stood up immediately and made his way towards me "Thank god you made it" He said with a slight something in his eyes "Don't freak out but—"

My eyes move to the booth and I felt my heart drop at the sight. My eyes look back to Felix "You said he wouldn't be here" My voice was shaky as I force myself not to look back at Jisung who stood by the booth with some girl as they talk to each other.

"I know, I didn't think he would but he just showed up and Changbin said he would be fine—" He stopped himself "Don't go, we can just go down to the floor and act like he ain't here"

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, my eyes catching sight of the shots that are getting brought to the table and I stop the guy, taking two and giving one to Felix. A smile finds Felix's face as he takes the shot into his hand "To, what's best for me"

"To forcing you to do what's best for you" We both laugh before taking the shot. Felix grabs my hand and pulls me to the table where everyone's eyes go to me, especially Jisung's.

I felt his eyes on me but I didn't look at him, I couldn't look at him.

Felix grabs my glass and puts it on the table "If you need us we will be on the dance floor" He said to Changbin who nods slowly.

"Be careful" Changbin yells over the music and Felix rolls his eyes.

"We're always careful," Felix says before pulling me away from the booth and down the stairs.

We made our way to the bar first where we loaded up our system with alcohol till we danced our way to the center of the crowd. Hot sweaty body's rubbing against ours. At this moment I didn't care when I felt the hands on my waist or how I felt a hot breath on my neck.

"It's good to see you like this" I turn around and met his eyes. "Felix called me"

I look to Felix and he sent me a wink before scurrying off. I sigh softly before looking back to Luca "Of course he did"

He looked around the club and back to me "You look like you need a breather"

I chuckle softly and nod "Yeah, it's hot in here" I push away the hair that is stuck to my forehead and I hear Luca laugh before grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the crowd.

I noticed how my hand was much smaller than his and how he looked back as we walk through the crowd to make sure I was okay before we made it out of the club.

There were a few other people outside, and small chatter was heard with the smell of smoke. The fresh air felt nice on my sweaty body and I lean along the wall.

"You have a habit of ghosting me"

I chuckle lightly "It's a habit, not just with you"

Luca nods slowly "Good to know I'm not the only one you avoid"

I stare at him for a moment before saying "I'm sorry, I just have a lot going on"

He stood quiet, staring at me like he was searching for what to say. "The boyfriend?"

I look away and shrug "Mostly," I said, looking back at him "I don't want to talk about it though"

"Of course, no, I get it," He said quickly.

I look back to the club doors "We should get inside, or else they will hunt me down" I said, lightening the mood. I look at him "Join us?"

Luca seemed unsure "I don't want to intrude"

"Felix called you here and I'm now asking you to join us, you're not intruding," I said, giving him a small smile "Plus, I want you here"

Luca holds back a smile but fails "Okay, lead the way" I grab his hand in mine again and it was a simple touch but something about it felt right.

Walking us back into the club and taking us through the crowd and up the stairs, the same way I had come the first time. My eyes locked on Jisung who was still talking with the girl but this time they both sat at the table.

I felt Luca's hand squeeze mine and noticed I had stopped walking. "You okay?" He looks down at me and I nod.

"Yeah, everything's fine" I continued walking to the booth and all eyes went to me and then to Luca.

Felix's eyes went to our hands intertwined, I felt everyone's eyes there and I quickly let go before clearing my throat. "Everyone, this is Luca," I said before sitting down, they all start to introduce themselves to the unfamiliar male and I look to Felix who smirks at me.

"Are you playing with fire?" He whispers in my ear and I furrow my brows.

"What are you talking about?"

Felix motions to Jisung and his attention was on Luca who quickly made conversation with Chan. If looks could kill, Luca certainly wouldn't be alive right now.

I look to Felix and shake my head "I didn't bring him here to make Jisung jealous if that's what your thinking"

"Really?" He gives me a look "Because it's working"

"No, I brought him up here because I want him here"

Felix smiles and nods slowly "Do I sense a little something right now?"

I roll my eyes "No, we're friends"

"But could be more" Felix bumps my shoulder.

"He's good at distracting me," I said softly "I need a distraction to get through tonight" Felix nods understandingly.

"Let's have shots" Felix announced, rising from his seat and handing everyone a shot.

Luca leans down to my ear and whispers "Looks like I'm on someone's bad side now" I look at him and I already knew who he was talking about.

"Sorry to tell you this but you were never on his good side, he just ain't hiding it now" Luca's eyebrows raise in surprise.

"To us and welcoming new friends," Felix says with a large smile on his face, looking towards Luca. Everyone raised their glass before taking the shot, the burning sensation running down my throat.

"New friends aren't allowed" I heard Jisung say, making me look his way and I knew he was referring to Luca.

I motion to the girl by his side and with a petty smile, I say "She doesn't look familiar to me"

I notice the male tense up, along with his new fling. I mean, I wouldn't call it that if they showed only friendly interactions but from the looks of it and by the distance of their bodies, they were fucking.

I stand up and lean over the small table, holding out my hand to the girl "Minho, Jisung's best friend" I said like it was venom on my tongue, still keeping a smile on my face.

"Audri, Jisungs--"

"My girlfriend"

Maybe I'm overdramatic but it felt like the weight of the world sat on my chest as I heard those words fall from Jisungs lips. If the lighting wasn't so shit in this club I know I would've seen the blush on her cheeks as she took my hand and shook it. I quickly pulled away, not sparing Jisung a glance as I sat my pretty little ass down and let the words replay in my head.

Girlfriend. That's extremely funny because it has only been a week since our breakup.

"Girlfriend?" Felix asked, confused by his words just as much as me, except I didn't speak out about my confusion. "Since when?"

Finally, I look at Jisung as he ran his fingers through his dark brown hair. I didn't hear it over the music but I watch as he released a long sigh "It's recent"

"No shit," Felix said with an attitude. "You and Minho just--"

"Isn't that too fast?" I finally said, "It's only been a week"

Jisung looks at me, nothing in his eyes as he shrugs "I don't like dwelling over people that don't want me in their life"

I scoff "I never said that" I felt my throat tighten as I tried my best to not cry and tell the male in front of me that I love him.

Jisung looks away "It doesn't matter anymore, we both seemed to move on"

I could see the confusion on Audri's face but she doesn't say a word as he takes her hand in his and it makes my chest fill with something I knew too well. Jealousy.

"Minho and I aren't together," Luca says with a bit of a chuckle, kind of in a way that he didn't quite know what was going on right now.

"Can we all just enjoy the night?" Changbin finally spoke up, probably tired of all this back and forth.

"I enjoyed it way more when Minho didn't invite his lap dog"

I furrowed my brows and Luca spoke up before I could say anything, "Look, I don't give a shit if you talk bad about me, truly, it doesn't bother me--Minho however is a great guy who I do remember you loving just last week before you two called it quits" Luca stands up "And I will be taking him home now, away from such an asshole he now calls his ex"

Taking my hand as I stand up and pulled away from the group who had nothing to say to me as we disappeared from their view.

We dragged ourselves out of the club and once the air hit our warm bodies, the rush of heartbreak that I refused to feel. Mostly, because I decided to end the relationship. Most of the time I felt relieved but maybe it was me telling myself that's how I should feel because now that I have seen him again I still felt all that love there. Like I stored it up for the week to protect myself but it fell from the shelf and I have no choice but to pick it up and feel it all.

I felt my chin shake as I tried my best to hold back tears in front of Luca who has only seen the brave parts of myself. "Hey," I heard his soft voice, walking to stand in front of me. He looks into my eyes with worry in his. "Don't let him get to you" He said, I look down and shake my head but the feeling of his warm hand on my cheek made me look up at him.

"I love him"

Luca smiles softly and nods "I know"

I felt safe. I felt understood. I felt heard. That's what made me cry. I let go and he didn't ask questions, he just pulled me into his chest and let me cry. Holding me as I felt myself completely feel what I didn't this week.

Jisung had a girlfriend and the possibility that was the secret he was keeping from me hit me hard. The thought that maybe he loved her more than he had ever loved me. Someone so desperate for his love for years. I was just a hard person to love, or just like.

My thoughts go back to the male who holds me in this moment. Why wasn't it easy for me to just feel the same thing with him as I do with Jisung? Isn't he everything anyone would ever want? Attractive, good job, a good personality, someone that makes you feel safe and sits and listens to all your doubts and worries, someone who sees you for you and accepts it. Don't I deserve that?

I pull away and he looks at me, wiping my tears away he says "Let's take you home" and with a small smile, I nod.

So can we act like I haven't been gone for months and every time I said I would come back officially it like never happened? Yes, omg thank you.

But fr, I will have a lot of free time (maybe) now that I am graduated. I do plan on writing again and getting all my books finished in a decent amount of time.

I have just been in a major writing slump and have no motivation or ideas.

If you don't like Luca yet, maybe this is the time to start doing so...