*Now playing - Hurts
Like Hell by Fleurie*

"Why don't we do this more often?" Felix says from across from me.

"Because we are all busy doing normal adult things" Hyunjin answers him.

We never did hang out like this and if we did we would have to plan ahead and figure out all of our schedules, especially Hyunjin who still works office hours.

"I never asked, what do you do for a living Valerie?" Felix turns to the girl who sat beside him.

I still haven't been completely comfortable with her. I knew she knew what Jisung hid from me—just like Jeongin did. Jeongin was my brother, It was a little hard to stay mad at him but her—something never sit right with me. Maybe it was how she openly flirted with Jisung when they were neighbors, I knew she was with Chan now but what makes us all so sure that she's loyal to him only?

"I—" She was hesitant with her words "I use to be a nurse"

"Use to? Why not now?" I ask.

"Ran into someone and kinda left it all behind"

"A lover?"

She quickly shook her head "No" she looks at me and briefly at the others "Nothing like that, just someone I wanted to help"

"You've always been a helper, haven't you?" I said with a bitter tone.

Hyunjin puts his hand on my shoulder "Minho let's not ruin our time together" His voice was low, only wanting me to hear it and I sigh lowly, nodding in agreement.

"Anyways, next topic" Felix tries to clear the growing tension in the air, "How are you and Jisung?"

I look at him and a small smile finds my lips. "We're good"

Good as in, good as it can get at the moment. The lingering lies hanging over our heads and I've done my best to look past it.

"I heard around that Jisung met Luca" Hyunjin speaks up and leans his elbows on the table, looking at me as I leaned back into my chair.

"And you heard this from who exactly?" I look at Felix and he puts his hands up in surrender.

"Don't look at me, I didn't say shit"

"Changbin might of told me," Hyunjin said "Well, not me but Seungmin when he went to the Cafe to
get Felix coffee"

Changbin, wouldn't have expected less. I mean, since the whole Jisung disappearance situation he has given me the cold shoulder. In the beginning, he seemed to understand but since Jisung has been back he's turned into a different person.

"Great, I just love everyone knowing all the business in my relationship," I said sarcastically.

"It's not like that Minho" Felix frowns.

"Yeah, plus it was nothing bad. He just mentioned how Jisung went on a whole rant on he hated the dude" Hyunjin says "Which, makes sense. Anyone wouldn't like someone interested in their partner"

I furrow my brows "He said that?" Hyunjin looks around like he knew he shouldn't have said what he did. "Jisung acted all nice and friendly with Luca the whole time"

"Oh" was all Hyunjin said.

"Maybe he heard wrong?" Felix tried to fix it and I sigh loudly.

"I also heard the same" Valerie finally spoke up. "But you got to understand—"

"I'm getting tired of everyone telling me to understand. I'm not going to" I said harshly to her "Jisung expressed his disliking multiple times and I understood then but the other day instead of him showing all this hate he says he has he acted friendly and talked to the male for hours with a smile on his face"

Valeria frowns slightly "I don't want to be in the middle of all this" she started "I know you're upset with me still but I do consider you my friend Minho and I'm also Jisung friend. I don't want to see both of you hurt" I look away, feeling bad that I was harsh to her. "He told me something and I immediately got mad at him for saying it because I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt him"

My body tensed at her words and I look at her, "Huh?"

"How about we leave?" Felix spoke up, changing the topic.

Valerie still stared at me and I look at her "W-What did he say?"

She looks away briefly, hesitating with her words before saying "That he doesn't trust you" Maybe I was being over dramatic but I felt my world stop.

Jisung was always considered my home, someone that I felt safe with and the person I knew I could confide in. Hearing that he didn't trust me hurt—no, my heart dropped from the high of getting him back and my throat closed up, and my mouth went dry. But tears didn't fall as I found out the love of my life had no trust in me.

-

I walk into the apartment and get greeted by the cats, a small smile on my face as I kneel and pet them.

The sound of my ringing phone flooded the quiet apartment. It had been ringing nonstop for 30 minutes and if not ringing then the sound of messages coming through.

It started with a call and once I didn't answer it was followed by a text asking if I was still with the others. After a few texts I decided to text back with a simple, "No, I'm fine don't worry" but that didn't seem to do the trick as he tried calling again and again.

The truth was I was afraid to face Jisung. I texted him back in hopes I would buy some time to be alone and think. Think about all the feelings I now felt. I was afraid I would say something or maybe he would say something.

I stood up and walked to the kitchen "Hungry?" I look at the cats and they meow softly. I pull out the cat food and start filling up their bowls with food and water.

I start to walk to the room but the sound of knocking on the front door made me stop. I debated if I should answer—having a good feeling I knew who it was.

I walk to the door and open it to figure out I was right. Jisung stood on the other side of the door, letting out a sigh of relief.

"You scared the shit out of me Minho"

I held the door, and looked away from him "Sorry" I said in a low voice, stepping aside and letting him in because I didn't have it in me to just shut him out.

"Don't apologize, I'm just happy your okay" He walked to me but I walk past him. "Hey, what's wrong?" His voice was soft and I stop for a moment before continuing my way to the living room.

I felt stress and nerves run through my body and I started to pick up the place. It wasn't dirty but I knew I couldn't sit still without bursting into flames.

"You've been ignoring me all day" He stated.

I stop and look up at where he stood "They told me how you hate Luca" I finally said.

Jisung looked at me and nods slowly "Yeah, but that's no secret Minho we have this conversation over and over"

"I know but the other day you seemed fine being around him" I was just trying to understand why he acted how he does with me and completely different with others. "You said you were happy I made a friend"

"Yeah and I am. That doesn't mean I'm happy with who you made friends with and how"

I scoot bitterly "I thought we were over this?!"

"I thought so too" I swallow harshly "And I'll never be friends with someone who touched you in the way he did" I was taken aback, though I shouldn't be.

My jaw clenched and I felt it all come rushing back, tired of filtering myself to save his feelings. I was tired of it all.

"You're saying this like I've slept with the whole city!" I yelled "I've tried and I'm still fucking trying to not lose my shit on you Jisung" I step forward and he just stared at me "You are no fucking saint, your lying to me every day and that is what I thought we were past, I thought—" I stop and I felt my eyes fill with tears, "I thought we trusted each other"

Jisung face finally morphs into sadness and before he could say anything I spoke again.

"But you don't trust me," I said and he tensed up "I heard you don't"

He shook his head "It's not like that"

"Then how?" I spoke, hoping he would give me relief and tell me that she was wrong.

"I said it out of anger after you lied to me about being with him"

I look away from him and now I knew. He didn't trust me with Luca, he didn't think I could be loyal to just him, and that fucking hurt. All I've been was loyal. My whole fucking life surrounded him.

Silence filled the apartment again and I stared at the floor, piecing my feelings together the best I could as we stood here again for the same shit but only adding more to our list of shit that was wrong between us.

I shook my head slowly "I-I don't think is going anywhere" I said lowly. I look at him "For so long I've loved you, but loving you hurts me"

"I don't mean for it to" His voice was soft and I notice the tears glistening in his eyes.

"But you're aware of it. You are always aware that you hurt me and you constantly lie and lie until you have to tell the truth and honestly if you don't have a reason to—you won't"

Jisung shakes his head and looks around the apartment absently, "What are you trying to say?" His fingers run through his hair and he looks back at me.

"I'm saying what I should of a long time ago. What you constantly told me to do and I never listened" He gazed at me sadly, "I think we need a break"

"You're breaking up with me?"

I shrug "If that's what you want to call it"

Jisung stares at me for a second, like he's contemplating something. He finally looks away and I heard a slight sniffle before he nods slowly. "Yeah, fine," He said, walking away and out of the apartment.

I thought this would feel better, maybe a relief or a weight off my shoulders but no. I love Jisung, and saying the words that I forbid myself to speak after the first time wasn't easy but it was best.

Since he got back everything has been different. He has been different and I knew he tried to get back into the rhythm of things but failed with his lie. I just wasn't sure what made it difficult for him to tell me. Did I give him the impression that he couldn't tell me?

I stare at the door, part of me was hoping he would come back but I remember he wouldn't. He never did. Like years ago, he left me and ran away.

I sit on the couch and felt tears finally leave my eyes, putting my head in my hands. Did I fuck up?

Was this a mistake that could have been worked out? I wasn't even sure, not by the way he kept things from me and his sudden distrust.

I did know one thing. I love him.

*Now playing - Hurts
Like Hell by Fleurie*

Sorry,

Think of it as a step in the right direction. They needed this, trust me.