*Now playing -
us by keshi*

Flashback
The light shines through the blinds and soft music played through my room.

Jisung leaned against the headboard and my back was against his chest as I sat between his legs, playing with his fingers as we just drank in each other company.

A lot of the time we spent together was either talking about stupid shit and laughing about it but then there were times like these when we just sat in silence.

Though, we sat here with no words being said—I knew in both of our heads that it was filled with so much that we didn't feel the need to speak out loud, but still I felt the urge to.

I turn my head and look up at him "You should ask your dad if you can stay the night"

Jisung looks down at me and sighs softly, running his fingers through my hair "I can't, we have school in the morning"

I pout and look back ahead, still playing with his fingers "I think I'll skip"

"Why? Are you feeling okay?" He asks me and I let go of his hand, sitting up and turning to him. He looks at me worriedly.

"No, I just don't want to go"

Jisung looks over my face "You'll really leave me all alone?" He frowns and I knew he was only trying to convince me to go tomorrow.

I look down and shrug "Just don't want to be around everyone" I look up at him slowly and lay back, staring at the ceiling, and soon Jisung hovered over me.

"What are you not telling me?"

I swallow harshly "You act like I can keep secrets from you"

He smiles softly "Your right. But I can also always tell when you lie and that's why I know your lying right now"

I roll my eyes and push him off me, sitting up again and he does the same "I don't want to talk about it"

Jisung was silent for a moment before standing up and I look at him "Are you leaving?" I ask, confused.

Jisung pulls in his shoes "Yeah. No point being here if you're not gonna tell me"

I frown and stand up, wrapping my arms around his body. My cheek smooshed against his back as I say "Please stay a little longer"

I felt him sigh and remove my arms from his body, turning to me "Only if you tell me" I look to the floor and walk back to my bed, sitting down as the nerves start to rise. He walks to me and stands in between my legs, grabbing my chin and making me look at him. "You know you can tell me anything"

I swallow harshly and my vision grows blurry "I-I love you"

I watched as the color drained his face. His hand dropping from my chin in seconds and he just stood there as I admitted my feelings for the first time.

-

Present time
I rub my tired eyes, slowly opening them to be welcomed with what I went to sleep with. Darkness. It wasn't unusual for me to wake up before my alarm or even before people got up and got dressed for the day.

It always looks different to me. Sometimes waking up at this time meant I'll be going to work extra early and getting more orders done than I would if I woke up to my alarm.

Or it looked like this. I looked up at the ceiling as the moonlight peeked through the curtains, a low sigh escaping my mouth and I turn my head to the other side of the bed which was empty.

Empty, just like it has been for months now and the only difference is that his scent was there again.

After he left, days passed and soon months—I noticed his scent faded and it scared me at first because I felt that when his scent disappeared maybe it would all set in that he was gone for good.

He's back and when he slept over it made the scent come back like he never left. I wish everything went back to how they were just like that scent that seeped into the sheets and pillow.

I turn my body and I place my shaky hand on the empty, cold spot. Letting the small tears fall from my eyes as I wished he was here right now. Him. The one I fell for, the one I'd do anything for.

I let my eyes fall closed "I'd do anything for you" I whisper into the nothingness as I was here all alone.

-

I rub my tired face and let out a little yawn, "Tired?" I look to Dev who looks at me worriedly.

"Yeah, the cats didn't let me sleep much last night"

"The cats are like your children aren't they?" She smiled and I nod, turning back to the papers I had to fill out for some orders.

A few minutes pass until I felt Felix's presence beside me, making me look at him "What?"

Felix smiles at me knowingly "I didn't get a follow-up on how that date was because you left but were gone for a lot longer than you said"

"Right," I said and looked down, continuing to fill out the paper I was previously "Nothing happened, we just talked" I heard Felix squeal and I look at him "Like friends do"

He sighs loudly "Boring"

I turn to him and hesitantly say "Jisung's back" Felix squints at me.

"Yeah, I know this but he hasn't shown up. Changbin and Chan keep failing to find him"

I stare at him and look down for a second, I wish I could tell him that I was in fact in contact with Jisung but I couldn't. I couldn't do that to Jisung.

I look at him "Then you know why Luca and I can never happen, not that I'm interested in it happening at all"

Felix nods understandingly "I get it. I mean maybe I don't fully know where you're coming from but I hate to see you like this" He spoke "Your my best friend and I love Jisung like a brother who I sometimes dislike because of his decisions but I can't sit here and watch you miss out on a chance on being happy"

I swallow harshly at his words that hit the spot I didn't want. I didn't want to hear this right now. Not now.

"He makes me happy, you know Jisung makes me happy and I-I can wait for him"

Felix's eyes sadden "He made you happy to an extent, that's not true happiness" My jaw clenched, starting to get tired of hearing this. I grab the paper and walk past Felix who follows me. "Minho"

"What?" I turn to him "What do you expect me to admit Felix? That Jisung doesn't make me happy? That if he was to show up right now I wouldn't be happy?" I snap and I felt Devany's eyes on us now.

"I don't mean it like that," Felix says, "I just don't want you to put yourself through more shit because of him"

"Because of him?" I scoff "Felix don't you realize that Jisung constantly told me to leave him—he wanted me to be happy and I was. I stayed—I stayed because I wanted to and I have so many chances to leave but I didn't" I said to him, Felix standing there "I stayed because I was happy"

I turn around again and put up the paper, "Y'all can go home, I'm closing up early"

-

The conversation with Felix roamed every part of my brain. It's a lot harder when someone speaks your thoughts out loud. It's harder to take in.

I never questioned my feelings for Jisung, I didn't want to start now. I wanted to just be happy and all this time I was. I was with Jisung. Since I was young it was Jisung and growing it was Jisung. It was always him and so I found it impossible to think otherwise.

I open my apartment door and walk in, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket and making me take it out at look at it.

I inhale and answer the phone "Chan, what's up?" I took my shoes off quickly and went to the kitchen, grabbing the cat's food as I hold the phone to my ear with my shoulder.

"Minho, I wanted to ask if you were free tomorrow night"

My brows furrow as I fill the cat's bowls "Um—Yeah, It's Sunday and so the shop closes early" I grab the bowls and put them on the floor. Watching them eat with a small smile.

I grab the phone now and walk to the room "Great, Valerie actually planned a dinner and wanted to invite everyone to get to know them better"

I put the phone on speaker and start rummaging through my drawer. "A dinner? To get to know us?" I ask, needing confirmation.

Chan's chuckle was heard through the phone "Yeah, she said she liked getting to know Felix, Hyunjin, and you that night and then brought up a dinner"

I stop and look at the phone, "Are you two official now?"

The other side of the line was quiet for a second before he spoke up "Yeah" I could tell he was smiling. My eyes widen and I silently dance around the room. Something that was a habit since I was young. "Minho, You still there?"

I run to the phone "Yes!" I mentally curse and run my finger through my hair "I mean, yes I'll attend this... dinner"

Chan laughs again "Okay I'll let her know, you were the last I called"

I gasped "I was the last? Wow, that kinda hurts" I put my hand over my head jokingly even though he couldn't see me.

"I just figured you would be the hardest to get through to but looks like you were easier than Seungmin"

I furrow my brows "Seungmin?" I asked, "Who did y'all invite?"

"I said she wanted to meet everybody, as in—well, everybody"

I hum "Interesting, y'all don't talk much to Seungmin"

"Yeah well you do and she seems like she gets most along with you and we also invited Jeongin"

"Jeongin wasn't busy?"

"All these questions is making my head hurt" He laughed but I was just confused.

"Yeah, sorry. Sorry—um, just let me know the details and I'll be there"

"I'll send them over now," He said before the line went dead.

I stare at the phone for a few seconds as I process this. She wants everybody there? She must really like Chan.

*Now playing -
us by keshi*

The dinner will be interesting indeed :)

Also Minho is questioning a few things recently...

Okay but I felt as if somethings I planned for this book only dragged the story on and I DONT want that but I also don't want it to feel rushed or like a lot is happening at once so i'll try and find a balance