The cold air surrounds me, in a hurry, I put the key into the lock and unlock the shop door. Walking in and closing it behind me.

It was still dark out, I figured I would come in early to get some stuff done instead of laying down staring at the empty left side of the bed-thats another a habit i've gained.

I go to sleep late and woke up before the sun made its appearance. I would lie down and just stare off into the darkness. I never mean to but I always leave that side empty, it somehow felt wrong to fill it but hurts to see it abandoned.

I shop was warm, not hot but a good temperature when compared to the cold and breezy weather outside. I walk to the back and shrug off my jacket before hanging it up. Turning on the lights and walking back to the front, my eyes going to the front counter.

Chills ran down my spine when I see flowers sitting there. It wasn't odd to see flowers left out, Dev usually was the one who forgot to put them up but these weren't ours.

I walk up to the counter and my eyes look over them. We didn't order such flowers, mostly because these were wild-grown out in fields but not fields around here. They had a familiarity to them.

I swallow harshly and pick out the note "Happy late New Year" it says and I frown.

I put the note down and walk away, leaving them off the counter as I begin to do my work for the day.

-

The door chimes and I look up "Look who's on time for once"

Devany smiles at me "I told you my new year's resolution was to start being on time"

I chuckle and nod, looking back down to the papers and continuing to write down orders. "You did but I didn't believe you"

"I am a woman of truth" I snort and stand up straight, finishing and looking at her as she looks at the flowers still on the counter and I'm in the same spot. "Like them?" I furrow my brows.

"Um-yeah there beautiful," I said, "Why?"

She looks at me and smiles "There for you, Minho"

I look back at the flowers "Oh" I said, something roams my stomach. Butterflies? Nerves? I wasn't sure.

"He was quite handsome" I look at her and she nods, taking off her coat.

"how'd he look?"

"Dark hair, very polite... um-he dressed nice, probably has money" She shrugs.

That sounds exactly like Luca... Weird.

I bite at my bottom lip "Seems you know who I'm talking about"

I sigh "Maybe, but I don't know why he would get me flowers"

"Because he likes you?"

I chuckle and shake my head "No, we're only friends. That's what I told him"

"You friend-zoned him?!" She practically shouted and I cover my ears. "Why, you could become his sugar baby?"

I grimace "I don't need to become anybody's sugar baby Dev" I cross my arms

"Right, your loaded I forget sometimes"

I frown "I'm not loaded"

She rolls her eyes "Yeah and I'm the queen"

I chuckle and shake my head, picking up the papers on the counter and hitting her head playfully before walking to the back.

I put the papers in a folder and before going back to the front of the shop I pulled out my phone and texted Luca.

Me: Hey, did you send me flowers?

It wasn't long after before he was typing and sent me a text back.

Luca: No
Luca: Does this mean I have competition?

I roll my eyes and chuckle at how honest the male was.

Me: Can't have a competition with no players

Luca: :(
Luca: I would love to talk to you some more
but I'm about to go to a meeting. See you later?

Me: Can't, I'm meeting a friend

Luca: That's fine. Have a good day Minho

I sigh and put my phone back in my pocket. I wasn't lying to him. I was gonna meet a friend but I was also purposefully not hanging out with him. I couldn't get attached, I can't do that to myself.

-

"You've been quiet today" I heard Devany say. I turn and look at her, "Is everything okay?"

I give her a soft smile and nod "Yeah, just a busy day"

She stares at me and I look away. "Don't bullshit"

My eyes snap back to her "Language child!"

She rolls her eyes "You know I can't work right when someone around me is in deep thought"

"I'm not in deep thought-"

"And when they deny about being in deep thought"

I fully turn to her and lean against the counter, crossing my arms "Fine, what do you want to hear?"

She smiles "Everything"

"No"

She pouts "Okay, just whatever's on your mind. You know I'm the best listener out there. Now, start with whose on your mind"

I laugh and nod. She was younger, I was aware but still, she was wise for her age.

My eyes go to the flowers on the counter and I said "My ex"

"Ew" I look at her and she had a nasty look on her face "Sorry, the word 'ex' is automatically a no"

I give her a soft smile "Not him" and she listens "I-It didn't end like that"

She seems to realize what I was saying as her eyes widen slightly and her thin lips form a small frown

"You know, I would've done anything for him" I look down at the tiled floor and let out a sad chuckle "But I was unaware of his plans and what was happening"

I was quiet for a moment and she took it as her opportunity to speak. "I know I'm young" She starts and I look at her "And, maybe I don't know about love yet but I-I just want to ask what made you want to do anything to keep him? What was it about him?"

I swallow harshly as I remember the male. "Everything," I said, and I shrug "It sounds so cliché but since the beginning when we met... I think I always just kinda knew that I'll do anything to protect what we had"

I lick my lips "Love, people see it differently. Feel it differently. We were great examples of that. I was so open to love him, show him and tell him how I felt-that's just who I am but him" I look away and to the flowers in the shop "He was afraid of it"

"And you put up with that for years?"

I look back at her and shake my head "No, we met in middle school and we were friends till our last year in high school. That's when things changed and when we officially started dating" She tilts her head, trying to comprehend it "I broke up with him after a few months of us dating"

She frowns "But aren't you the one that said you wanted to keep him?"

"Yeah but I was young and very insecure" I sigh loudly "I broke up with him because I was unsure of his feelings, all those months of us dating and before that years of friendship-he still didn't say he loved me. I don't think I expected it, I think that night I broke up with him-I wanted him to go after me, show me he cared... but he didn't"

"What happened after?" She asks

"Well, he left. I didn't see him for years until one night I did and at the time I was in a situationship"

Dev gasps "No way" and I nod "You don't really look the type to be in one of those"

"So, y'all see each other again and bam, amazing chemistry," She says dramatically and I laugh loudly.

"Something like that"

"But I still don't get why you spent those years in a situationship instead of getting over him"

"He's different" I shrug and continue "I was never the type to make friends, I had one friend at the time and he was my friend since birth practically. So, meeting him when I did and at the young age we were it was so easy to talk to him. He made me laugh and he put up with my bullshit and bad attitude. Apart from me got annoyed that he seemed so unaffected by my bad temper. It's something I can't help, especially when I was younger and I notice now that I use it to push people away" I stop and sigh "He's the person I opened up to on a deeper level. I easily talk about my feelings but showing them and feeling them is different. It was just so easy to like him and show him how much I did, I can't even do that with my parents"

She was quiet for a moment before saying "And that's why you wanted to keep him? Because he's the only person that truly knows you"

I give her a sad smile "Yeah, but he also messed me up so much that I'm a little terrified to feel this way about anyone other than him"

She frowns "Because you feel so deeply?"

I nod "And because look where it got me" I chuckle and sigh loudly "Now get back to work, Felix should be coming in any minute and I have somewhere to be" I turn away from her and cut off the conversation.

I heard her continue to do what she was before, the light music in the shop made her hum and I just stared off into space.

hi. i'm back from my short unexpected break from writing :)

miss me?