I yawn, rubbing my tired eyes. Hearing the door chime makes me look. I inhale and look away at the flower arrangement that I was putting together.

"We're closed," I said, nothing in my voice as I was just tired and wanted to get this finish.

"I know, but I was hoping to catch you here"

I turn to look at the male "Were the roses that beautiful that you had to come back for more?"

He smirks "Something like that"

I swallow harshly "Well like I said we're closed" I look away and walk to the counter, pulling out a card and the piece of paper that won't have "Get well soon" on it, rewriting it onto the card.

I heard his chuckle and footsteps walk up to the counter. I look up at him as he stood on the other side of the counter "What?"

He shook his head "Nothing"

"Then don't fucking laugh"

The black hair male smiles softly "You know you have quite the bad mouth"

I shrug and cross my arms "So I've been told"

The male looks around the shop before saying "I'm Luca"

Luca. It was one thing to almost sleep this man but now I knew his name and that felt a bit wrong.

He looks back at me—Luca looks back at me.

He smiles again "I was expecting you to tell me yours"

My eyes widen "O-Oh" I chuckle, feeling myself grow embarrassed. "I'm Minho"

"Minho" He repeats "Well Minho, I came here for one reason—not for the roses"

"No? I think the roses are worth coming back for" Luca nods slowly as I knew, he knew I was growing nervous.

"I wanted to ask if you wanted to go to dinner?"

I stop, not moving a single muscle in my body. "Like a date?" I sounded fucking stupid. Like a middle school girl who never dated in their life and never went on one date.

Luca laughs and nods "Yeah, I was hoping"

I swallow harshly and shook my head "I can't" I inhaled sharply and before he could speak up I said "I'm not looking for anything serious and I thought you would have guessed that since we almost hooked up last night before knowing each other names"

"Right," Luca says, "How about just lunch?" He says, I was about to protest but he spoke again "Just as two people becoming new friends?"

I look down at the unfinished card and nod "Okay" I look up "Fine, as two new friends"

He smiles and nods "Okay" He looks down and grabs the paper and pen, writing something down and sliding it across the counter, back to me. "My number, let's set something up"

I look up at him and nod "I'll text you"

As he takes a few steps back he says "And I'll be waiting" turning around and walking out of the shop.

I let out a deep breath and look down at the paper with his number. "Just friends, okay, that's fine Minho. Everything will be fine"

-

I didn't make new friends, honestly, the last "friend" I made was Jae and that was far from a friendship. I can't count Felix and the others because I met them through him. I didn't go out one day and meet them.

The last real friend I made was Seungmin and that was because grew up together. I wasn't a friendly guy, and I always come off as rude. It wasn't because I was rude but because I've always had this fear that someone wanted to use me. In some situations, I was right.

"You'll be fine, now get out there  and make me proud" I look to Felix and he smiles at me.

"Why did I have to tell you" I groan. Regretting my decision to tell Felix about this said lunch. He's like a proud mom and I also regretted agreeing to this lunch. I wasn't good with people and maybe you would think so because of my job but I lose interest fast.

It all felt weird to put myself out there again, especially because I haven't done it in a while. I hadn't felt the need to, but now I did. Sometimes I felt lonely and like everyone was living their lives, or at least trying to and I was here—trying to convince myself that I was fine.

I didn't feel like I had to make new friends because I had him, I didn't need more friends.

Felix walks in front of me and grabs onto my shoulders "Now if anything makes you uncomfortable, go to the restroom and call me... I'll plan your escape"

I chuckle and nod "Okay, well expect a call five minutes in"

Felix's smile drops "I only answer if it's past twenty minutes"

I roll my eyes and sigh "Yeah, yeah, I'll be on my way now"

Felix moves out of the way and I walk past him "Be careful" I hear Felix say as I walk out of the shop and the cold air hits my face. I push my hands into my pockets as I walk.

Luca texted me the address that wasn't far from the shop, only down the block thankfully.

I wouldn't lie and say I wasn't nervous, I was. I don't know if it was because I didn't know how to go about this situation or if it was because of the lingering guilt deep in my stomach.

I knew I eventually had to meet new people but was I ready for that? In hindsight, it wasn't. I knew I wasn't ready for a relationship, but new friends? I was aware that I tried to fill this void in me with other people and overall, I've failed. How many tries will it take until I finally succeed, if that is what I even want?

I stop walking and look up at the small cafe. I've never been because a part of me is biased, of course when I wanted anything from a cafe I go to Seungmin's, but I guess today will be filled with getting out of my comfort zone that I've been stuck in for some time now.

I grab the door and open it, being greeted by warmth and light music that reminded me of the holidays I chose to skip this year. Walking in, I glance around to see him sitting there, Luca who stood up at my presence, and I walk to him.

Sitting in the seat in front of him and he sits back down "I'm glad you texted" His smile was bright and. refreshing to see. It didn't look fake or forced, it looks genuine.

I give him a small smile "I've lived in the city for some time, I think it's about time I make friends"

Luca furrows his brows "You don't have friends?"

I chuckle and shake my head "No, I do. It's a long story"

It wasn't a long story, I just said that so he wouldn't ask to hear how all my current friends remind me of him. The male I no longer had.

Luca nods slowly "I get it," He says "I moved to the city at a young age, I had this huge opportunity in my hands and I couldn't afford to lose it so my focus at that time in my life was work"

"And how did you know it was the right time to start putting yourself first?" I ask the male who sat up and lean his forearms onto the table.

He shrugs a little "One day I was at the office and it was my dad's birthday but I chose to work late instead of drive a few hours out to go see him" He stops and licks his lips "He passed away the next day"

I frown slightly, looking down "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ask—"

"It's fine" I look up and he gives me a small smile "I can see you are having a difficult time just like I was back then" I swallow harshly and he continued "I knew my dad was sick, he had been for a year and that was a reason why I took the job opportunity—to help pay for his treatments" I listen and I didn't expect for the conversation to get so deep right away but Luca seemed the type to not hold back. He seemed to like the type to not be afraid of his emotions and didn't fear showing them. "A month before his birthday the doctors said that treatments were no longer working and soon I found myself working constantly, never making time for myself or my family. I realized I was grieving my father's death before it actually happened"

"And that made you realize what?"

Luca sighs and sits back "That work can wait, my family and my life are more important"

A lady walks to our table and we look up at her "What can I get for you?"

-

Luca takes a drink from his coffee, he likes black—no sugar or milk. For some reason, I found myself mentally taking notes.

His black hair was perfectly in place and he wore a suit, he did mention he worked in an office. He looked like he was made of money.

"You mentioned just moving here" I look up and nod "How do you like it?"

I froze and my eyes wander to the table "Well—" I chuckle and hesitantly said "I moved here for someone"

"I assume that didn't go so well" I look up and shake my head.

"Ended pretty badly" I mumble and Luca just stares at me. His eyes were dark but they didn't lack emotion. He showed everything, front and center and it confused me on why he was still single. He was handsome and he had money, but also emotions.

"The roses were for my mom" He spoke, changing the subject which I was thankful for. "I get her roses every new year because my dad did"

I smile at him, a genuine smile. "You're a mommas boy"

Luca smiles and shrugs "She's all I have. I'm the only child, adopted when I was three and they loved me like I was their own. If anything I'm thankful for them"

The more I sat here with him, the more I knew. He seemed so perfect. A family man, someone who cared deeply.

"And you?" He asks.

"I-I don't talk to my parents much" Luca searches my face and I watch as he tried to piece me together like he's been doing this whole time. "They never did anything wrong or made me feel a certain way. They did everything parents should do and they took great care of me" I bite the inside of my cheek before saying "I also have a younger brother and he was a pain in the ass"

Luca laughs and I just stare at him. Is it bad that I spent a lot of this lunch comparing him to someone I want to be in front of me? Someone whose laugh I'd much rather hear.

But something about Luca made me feel almost okay. His company was bearable and it felt easy to talk to him. It didn't feel like he judged my lack of care or my shitty mouth that threw out constant cuss words. He didn't seem amused by my words and he didn't try to flirt with me. He felt like a friend I needed right about now.

-

I walk into the apartment and past the cats that swarmed my feet. Walking into the bathroom, turning on the light. As soon as I left the cafe I felt this overwhelming feeling of guilt.

I turned on the shower and started stripping off my clothes, walking into the shower at letting the hot waters fall onto my skin.

I lean my head onto the tile and my eyes fall closed, "J-" I stop, never finding it in me to call out to him. I use to.

A sob escapes my lips and I fall to my knees, feeling my body shake as the cries pour out of me. "Why?" I cried loudly, "Why did you have to fucking leave again?"

I cried till my body grew tired and weak and the water was no longer hot but was now cold. My eyes burned and my body shook under the icy water.

I felt stupid and useless. It wasn't like I could scream at him or tell him how fucked he left me. I couldn't do what I did last time. I was left helpless and alone, crying out to no one but myself.

This city reminded me of him. Our friends reminded me of him. Everything reminded me of him.

I need to hear your thoughts about the new characters I've recently introduced to the book. Luca and Dev?

Also, how do you feel about Minho's personality without Jisung?

It's something I've hinted at it a lot in "darling" and now I'm just curious about how you feel.

I did promise to make the playlist for this book public so here it is loves...

pls pls pls don't jump to conclusions when listening to it bc remember Jisung and Minho's relationship span from when they met in middle school to now.