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𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝒉𝑎𝑡, 𝑜𝑓 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒, 𝑖𝑠 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝐶𝒉𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑚𝑎𝑠. 𝑊𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑛𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑤𝒉𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔𝒉𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑠𝑡, 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡, 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑙𝑦 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡.... – 𝑻𝒂𝒚𝒍𝒐𝒓 𝑪𝒂𝒍𝒅𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍.

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For some people, Christmas is the holiday where we all come together as a family, to eat, talk and just basically love each other more.

For some, it's a holiday for everyone, they go about sharing gifts, praying for people and just basically enjoying each other's company.

For me, Christmas is the worst holiday. Why? Because it's the day my dad comes home, the day my mom cries, the holiday I stay in my room worried sick for my mom. My grandma also died on Christmas Eve, so I don't really like Christmas, at all.

But, strangely, I had a feeling that this Christmas was going to be better. Or was I wrong?

When I was a child, I used to love Christmas. I would wait for Santa with my milk and cookie, and then I'd pretend to sleep and wait for Santa, but I always ended up falling asleep. But, when I woke up in the morning, the milk and cookie would be gone, but my presents are there and it's exactly what I wished for Christmas. I would be so joyful that I'll run down the hallway shouting.

"Mummy! Mummy! Look what Santa gave me for Christmas!" I'd say and scream. She'd hug me and tell me to go show my grandma. But, that day I went to my grandma's room, I knocked but no response, so I thought she was sleeping and I barged into her room.

My grandma lay on her bed, I was a child so I didn't know that something was wrong with her, so I tapped her.

"Grandma! Grandma! Wake up and see what Santa got me for Christmas!" I'd say, and shake her gently. Normally, she'd wake up, but this time, she didn't wake up. I was scared, like really scared. Sure, I'd heard about death before so I knew something was wrong at that moment, so I shouted for my mom to come.

And when she came, her eyes were full of tears and that's when I knew something was wrong, so without being  told, I started shedding tears.

And that was how my grandma died on Christmas Eve.

I slammed my diary shut, sniffing back the tears. I stood up from the bed to draw the curtain. As I walked towards the curtain, my mother entered into the room.

"Hi baby, how are you?" she greeted me with a slight peck on the cheek. I smiled and greeted back.

"Good morning, mom. How was your night?" she shakes her head lightly, before responding. "Yh, my night was good." She paused, then continued, "Our neighbors will be arriving today, and as you know, they are your dad's friends, so we are inviting them for dinner. Please put on your best behavior."

She smiled weakly at me. Sometimes I don't understand my mom, sometimes I feel like she gets. Other times, I feel like she doesn't. It's crazy!

She left my room and I adjusted the curtain, it's Christmas in like two days and I'm already dreading it.

~~~
The doorbell rang, signifying the arrival of the guests. To be honest, I wasn't even a little excited to meet them or anybody. I was forced to get up from my bed and get dressed.

I'm clad in a white sleeveless gown that stops above my knee, adorned with some gold jewelries and my hair is tied up in a high bun, for my feet, just some sneakers.

My mom glared at me. "Go and open the door for them" she said, while dishing the plates. I just stood, staring at her. The doorbell rang again, and from the look on my mother's face, she was frustrated.

"Bria, I said go and open the door for them." Normally, I would have disobeyed her, but I decided against it and went to open the door. I slowly opened the metallic iron holder and when I pulled it back, the door opened.

There stood a family of four smiling at me like I'm an angel, so I stepped aside to allow them entrance into the house, immediately, my mother came and hugged them.

In the midst of everything, I was interested in only one human, this boy  who wouldn't stop smiling at me, with his headphones on his head.

~~~~~
It was time for dinner and Mom called me to help set up the table, I was about to set the table when John ( yes his name is John!) Said he would love to help and my mom immediately agreed and left not before winking at me.

"You know your Mom is really fun to be with," John said, I wondered where he was going with this. Like, what's my business?

"Okay?" I replied, more like questioned him.

"Hi, I'm John," he answered instead, sticking his hand out for a shake.

"I'm Bria." I shook his hand, you know that feeling when you body is jumping all over the place, that's how I felt, it's hard to describe, honestly.

It felt like time stopped. My body went rigid against his hand and I felt sparks all over my body, literarily. But I shook off the feeling and withdrew my hand and I looked away, feeling shy against his glare.

We set the table quickly and I went to call the rest to the table.

I honestly didn't have the strength to be part of the dinner, especially since John was going to be there, but I had to stay for my mom.

Dinner started off quiet, but it got really noisy when my dad and John's dad started talking about old school days and my mom and John's mom started talking too, I got frustrated and stood up to leave.

Minutes after I had gotten to the balcony, I heard footsteps but I thought it was my mom, till I saw the shadow of John. He sat beside me, his cologne whistling through my nostrils and I wished I could just nussle closer. I shook that thought off again.

"So, you don't look like someone who likes Christmas," was the first thing he said.

"That's because I don't." I retorted.

"Woah, woah! I'm your friend okay? You don't need to be so defensive around me." He said. But I didn't reply.

"You know I used to be just like you. Always keeping up pent up anger, always hating Christmas and being angry at my parents and stuff. I—"

"You don't understand, you don't," I whispered. Tears choked at my throat, my eyes blurry and my visions hazy.

"I do understand, I do. And I want to help you." He said while moving closer towards me.

"How?" I asked, rubbing my teary eyes, I must look a mess, I thought.

"Leave that to me, I'll make sure you'll enjoy your Christmas." He whispered firmly and for the first time this Christmas, I smiled genuinely.

We kept talking and getting to know each other. He loves basket ball just like I do, and that made me love him even more. I guess this Christmas won't be so bad after all.

~~~
Later that evening, when they left, I took my shower and headed straight to the balcony. My mom came and sat beside me, I smiled faintly.

"You know I love you, baby! And I just want this Christmas to be the best for you." She said.

" I know Mom, I know and hey! I love you too." She smiled, I laughed and we hugged.

We talked about John and how I might have a little crush on him and I told her about I and John's outing tomorrow, which she immediately agreed, not without teasing me about it.

I felt satisfied that this Christmas might actually just be the best one yet.

~~~
Morning came by really quickly and I couldn't wait for the activities planned out for today.

I decided to dress simple since I didn't know where we were going ( it's a surprise) I did a little make up and applied a lot of layers of lipgloss.

John came to the house to pick me up.

"Hey, you look so beautiful!" he complimented me and I blushed. "Thank you, John. You don't look bad your self." I said.

~~~
He took me to his car and opened the door for me, that small gesture making me love him all over again.

We drove in silence, and in no time we were there and guess what? It was a park. I honestly couldn't believe it, I was so excited because I couldn't remember the last time I went to a park.

He came down and held my hands and took me to the gate of the park.

"I know it's not what you expected but I need to take you to my favorite place, this was where I began my Christmas journey." He said. I could already feel the tears falling down my cheeks.

He held my hand again and pulled me to the ticket zone, when we got there he booked us VIP tickets, I couldn't believe my eyes. He didn't let me speak before pulling me to where the roller coasters and I got scared and started to withdraw my hands but he held me tightly.

"No, John! I can't go on that thing."I said, still pulling my hands. He laughed lightly and said, " I'm just kidding but I'm here with you, nothing is going to happen. Trust me!" And that was all I needed to get on that roller coaster.

I can't lie, I was scared, but I enjoyed every minute. The day passed by quickly,  but John wasn't done with his surprise, so he took me to the beach where we stayed all evening, we watched the sunset rise, and we talked.

"Tommorow is Christmas, and I wanted it to be special for you, but I failed. I'm sorry." He spoke in distant whispers.

"Are you kidding? This is the most fun I've had since my grandma died! You made this Christmas special for me, thank you," I said, looking at the sky.

I really liked John, I really do and I wanted to tell him, but I'm not sure if he has the same feeling for me.

"Aww! It's really no problem, I just wanted you to have fun because I know what it feels like to go through shit during Christmas," he got up and dusted his trouser, "it's getting late, I think we should go home." Even though I wanted to spend more time with him, I needed to go home.

And so, we walked to his car and as usual he opened the door for me and I entered. The ride wasn't really that bad, we jammed to our favorite music, turns out we both love Taylor Swift so we listened to her songs and we vibed with it.

When we reached our gate, he got a call from his mom that they are at my house, so we went in together.

When we got in, Christmas decorations had already been set and we could smell the aroma of food and instantly made me realize that I hadn't eaten anything today.

~~~
00:00

Dear Santa, it's Christmas. It's been so long since I wrote a letter to you, but this time this letter isn't to complain, it's to thank you for bringing an angel into my life, that made it a priority to make me see Christmas in a different light. Thank you, Santa and Merry Christmas!

I folded the letter and kept it with my milk and cookies, just like I did every Christmas before then. After putting it, I went downstairs and I saw my dad apologizing to my mom and I smiled. Maybe this Christmas won't be so bad after all.

I got a message from John, saying I should come to the back yard and I immediately ran out of the house. Literally!

"Bria, I know you might not feel the same way but I have been meaning to tell you this. I like you, Bria. From the moment I saw you at the doorstep, I've liked you. It's okay if you don't feel the same way, and ohh happy Christmas!" His voice lowered with disappointment. And I ran to him and I hugged him.

"I like you too, John! I do." And with that we kissed and the fireworks sparked, writing in the sky

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

© Daniella Okonkwo.
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