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𝑇𝒉𝑒 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦 𝑠𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝒉𝑖𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑝𝑎𝑔𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟 (𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑛) 𝑠𝑢𝑛𝑠𝒉𝑖𝑛𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑝𝑡 𝑖𝑛 𝑡𝑜 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑐𝒉 𝑡𝒉𝑒 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑔𝒉𝑡 𝒉𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑒𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝒉 𝑎 𝐶𝒉𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑚𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑔. - 𝑳𝒐𝒖𝒊𝒔𝒂 𝑴𝒂𝒚 𝑨𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒕𝒕, 𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏.

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That smile never failed to warm Evan's heart. The one with the slightly upturned red lips, eyes brimming with pure Christmas spirit. Hands locked one into another, he and Lucy sojourned into another Christmas family dinner.

Elizabeth had opened the door that evening, a warm smile on her face, quite opposite intentions in her heart, her merry chatter ushering them into the warm living area they called home.

Edward got up, his bulging belly the first thing Evan noticed. He walked towards them in a bouncy gait, a smile plastered on his face and a few pick-up lines battle ready.

"Hello there, pretty. I'm Edward, people call me Eddy for short, and aren't you one fine piece of cake, fresh from the oven."

There was a familiarity to his deep, voluble voice, Evan just couldn't pinpoint what it was. He shrugged indifferently and smiled sternly at the old man, his venerability the only thing stopping a punch from coming his way.

Tyres rumbled across the wooden flooring, Benny slowly loosing balance and direction all at once. He rolled swiftly by the group and yelled,

"He forgot the Pa in Eddy!!"

Crashing into that roundy leafy thing, he still couldn't identify, he drove the scooter back to the fireplace for safe keeping. Another well deserved Christmas present.

The table was set, the family all seated, awaiting the arrival of the main guests. Evan smiled at the table, fighting strongly to believe that this would go as well as he planned it.

The first sign that it was not, was her. Anne. The woman with the tiny little crumbs left of his heart, when he picked the big pieces and put them all together. Her aura was imperious, almost domineering, with her 'perfect' parents and her 'perfect' smile. Oh, she made him sick. Who invited her here anyway? And why was she wearing that prim dress with her perfectly trimmed hair?

Calm as he could will himself to be, he shot her staid smile and led Lucy to the table. The aroma of warm food blended perfectly with the resplendent lighting and the yuletide decorations, setting a perfect environment for a calm Christmas.

With the last bowls of food set on the table, Evan proceeded to introduce the love of his life. With a happy smile on his face, and the flourish of a certain young man he'd watched, he put out his hand and Lucy took it, both of them standing up seamlessly, like they had rehearsed.

"Family, you all have been a party to my previous relationships, and I know they have not ended well, the last one running to Italy to chase her dreams, that were in the pants of another man."

He began, a pointed look at Anne sitted calmly beside his mother, Elizabeth, with the most subtly alarmed look on her face. Regaining his manners almost immediately, he continued,

"Things have changed, though. That, I can assure you. Why? Because with Lucy, it's different. Her eyes say it all. I love her, down to the stain on her overused jeans."

He paused again, allowing for a brief laugh before he continued. Sadly, he didn't get a chance to continue.

"Well, I must say, those jeans must suffer a lot of damage."

His mother promptly interrupted, everyone erupting in further laughter. The emphasis she'd placed on 'a lot' had had a smaller effect than she'd hoped. Well, they had all night.

Shooting her a stern glance, Evan patted down his red tie and beamed.

"Actually Mum, they do, and that's part of the reason I hold her real tight every chance I get.
Without further Ado, meet my girlfriend, Lucy. A perfect embodiment of all I want in a wife."

At that, everyone melted into a warm smile, a small applause filling the room. They sat down and held hands together to pray, and soon everyone was digging into their food.

"Hey Cara, remember that vase grandma stole at the family reunion in October? Have they paid for that?"

Pairs of eyes shot up from their food, spoons clinking against serving plates in curiosity.

Benny, oblivious to everyone's trained eyes, stared intently at Cara his sister, expectant of an answer that they could both laugh at. Cara just looked disapprovingly at him, obviously conscious of everyone's attention.

"Ben, could you not? Especially not in front of the guest?"

Elizabeth stared him down, the last part said through gritted teeth. She was tired of the child. He just had no filter and couldn't get one if his life depended on it. His mother glared as well, Benny going silent at the notice of his mother's angry eyes.

"In other unrelated business,"

She began in mock-apathy, eyes on Anne then Lucy, shooting Lucy a pretty smile. Evan already knew where this was going, bracing himself for the next sardonic thing to come from his mother's mouth.

"Hey Anne, remember when you and Evan went skiing? Oh, I remember that. You guys had so much fun! Especially, y'know,"

With that, Evan had had enough. He couldn't take it anymore, from the cocky smile on his mother's face to the downtrodden look on his Lucy's angelic one. She wanted to talk? Well, he would.

"Hey Mom, I heard the casino in our neighborhood is closing. I guess all your friends will be saddened as you won't be available for them to suck you dry as usual."

His mother's face was priceless. His heart surged with joy at his mother's embarrassment, his conscience giving him a little tap, him on the other hand, ignoring it.

"Don't make it look like it's my fault I gamble. You should ask your wonderful father why that is."

Derek's eyes shot up from his food, anger shining in his eyes from the sarcasm practically dripping from her words. The non-existent remiss in his duties being spoken of frustrated him.

"Oh, don't bring me into this. You and I both know I provided and still provide in this home. You're the one who knows what you're chasing after. It's always some expensive tennis bracelet or some LV bag, yet I'm the reason for your current problem."

Elizabeth gasped at the mock-representation of her demands. This was never her fault, he knew it too. So why was he denying it now?

"The money isn't the issue, your care is. You don't care, you never did. All you do is throw your dirty, shady money in my face and expect me to be happy. Well, life doesn't work that way!"

"Shady money you call it? The one that bought us this house? Your car? That million dollar earring on your ear you woke me up in the middle of the night to purchase? You are your problem, Liz. Stop calling others out."

Elizabeth looked as pale as a vampire. Her eyes drilled imaginary holes in Derek's head, and she so wished them real. She'd reasoned another comeback, mouth ready to deliver as usual, when she heard it.

Silence. No clinking plates, no light chatter, even Benny was dead silent, trying to decipher exactly what was going on. She fizzled out, calmly returning to her food, all eyes trained on her. Derek nonchalantly faced his, without a care in the world for the drama-hungry spectators.

Evan was nothing short of devastated. This wasn't what he had planned. He hadn't planned for family linen to be aired, especially not his very own parents. He watched Lucy, hoping she hadn't gotten discouraged. She probably had. Well, he could only hope the night went better from then on.

Eerie silence settled over the table, everyone minding their own business now, before they became the next episode of the soap opera, but of course, Benny would give them what they wanted. He never failed to deliver.

"Pa Eddy, I just wanted to ask, are you a carpenter?"

Edward turned towards the little boy, hoping against hope that he was not the next target for the circus.

"No son, I am not."

He spoke simply, not going past negation to avoid carrying the issue forward, but Benny wouldn't be having any of it. A slight pause arose, awaiting the tiniest bit of information to come from the child's mouth.

"Well, I'm only asking because, everytime we come over to visit, I and my sisters hear these weird loud noises. They sounded like carpentry to me. So, I wanted to ask, Pa, are you a nighttime carpenter?"

Edward sat silent, the veracity of the boy's innocence taking him by surprise. He stared, reasoning a way out of the situation, and behold, there were more comments on the matter.

"Pa," Lara began, throwing him into an even deeper ocean than before.

"I noticed something else. Do you have assistants in your vocation? Because, you always have someone with you on those nights. And why are they always ladies? Do you like lady carpenters? Also, why do they always change? Don't you like your carpenter assistants? Daddy mentioned something about shifts in the workplace. Do they take shifts?"

She had always been the smart one, but this time, Edward's problem was bigger than just the child's smarts. Laughter erupted from one end of the table. It was boisterous and infectious as well, and soon the whole table was cackling, the children more confused, than humored.

"Pa, could you show us your equipment? Maybe I'll become a carpenter too, just like you."

The admiration in the children's eyes sickened him. He watched them, his eyes finally away from his phone and on something regarding the dinner. He'd sought a distraction from this weird gathering, but this was too much. They were obviously innocent and too naive to realize, and he couldn't stop himself.

"Oh, please. We all know he's been banging hot ladies a lot more recently. Maybe it's a high or something, who cares?"

He began laughing again. At least now they knew the truth, but the further confusion plastered on their face had him rolling.

"Gideon!"

He heard amidst the laughter, wanting nothing more but to get a chart and explain bit by bit what 'carpentry' entailed.

Elizabeth was beside herself with shame, uncertain of whether to be angry at the children for such an inappropriate question, the teenager for his brazenly foolish reply, or the topic of the moment, simply laughing off the trained stares to avoid clearing the air. She decided to do it herself.

"Gideon, enough. Not another word from your inappropriate mouth. And you, father, aren't you ashamed of yourself? I mean, womanizing? With multiple women? In the family home?"

The laughter ceased from both parties, Edward clearing his throat, and ransacking his mind for a sensible reply. He found it not, and instead sought to picking at his plate instead.

"Mom, did I ever mention to you that our dear old grandfather, has been banging your trophy girl nonstop? They're practically fused into one another by now, the worst part being that most of it, happened whilst she and I were dating. Now tell me mother, do you still want me to marry her?"

The table went silent. The eyes now going back and forth between Elizabeth and Anne. The children were utterly suppressed with confusion now, trying to find answers in the adults' eyes. Benny looked around the table and smiled. He didn't know what was going on, but felt it wise to smile.

Anne watched the table, all eyes on her then Aunt Liz, then her again. He didn't have to tell her. She had planned to explain things herself. She didn't even want to be here anyway, her presence a result of Aunt Liz's incessant pestering.

"Mom, Dad, let's go."

She got up and her parents followed suit, their minds filled with questions she knew she would struggle to answer, but not here. Anywhere but before her previous lover, whose malice with her she fought to understand. Was it wrong to chase a little fun?

With a click, the door closed shut, leaving the rest of the guests both bewildered and in anticipation. They all watched the door for a moment in abeyance, the high fizzing off slowly.

"Grandpa, what is a bang?"

She just had to know. Lara was just too curious. She watched her grandfather, hoping he would give a satisfying answer, because it seemed that the reason for the things happening at the table was tied somehow to the word 'bang'.

"It's a sound, honey. A sound is what it is."

He answered with a small smile. She smiled back, dissatisfied, honestly annoyed at his reply. Of course, she knew it was a sound, but what did that have to do with anything?

"Does that mean you're a sound maker then? Because those sounds sounded so real. Could you teach me?"

"Let's leave that alone, my dear. We'll talk about that later. Um, more salt please."

Suddenly willing to eat his food, he faced it, trying hard to zone out from the table's conversations.

The table was finally silent, everyone unsure of what to say, tension thick in the atmosphere. Elizabeth burned in shame, moved to tears by how much this night had gone wrong. Dabbing her eyes with the table napkin, she got up and excused herself, her pencil-heeled shoes echoing throughout the room.

They all watched her leave, her sister, Fiona, going after her. Benny watched his mother go after his aunt, now getting frustrated at how annoyingly confusing adults were. Once they both were out of sight, the table was thrust back into an eerie, awkward silence, too deep in it to find a way out now.

Lucy turned to Evan and took his hand. She stroked it lightly, sincerely wishing she wouldn't let go. This was just too much to attach herself to. She couldn't do it. She took his face and pressed her lips against his, a passionate goodbye.

Evan closed his eyes, loosing himself in her full, red lips. This was the best kind of distraction, seeing as his plans had found their way to the trash. He loved her, oh, he loved her. He wanted to marry her and build a life with her. This was supposed to be the first step. And what a first step it was.

Everyone watched the show, their heads turning over and over again, hands glued on each other's skin, lips wet with enthusiasm, until she pulled away.

"I'm sorry Evan, I can't do this. I love you, but I can't."

She stood and picked her purse, placing a light kiss on his forehead and making for the door. His eyes followed her every move, till finally she was out the door and out of his life as well.

"Well, that was one hell of a night. Yes it was."

Pa Eddy spoke up again, jollily returning to his food. Everyone looked at each other and returned to their food as well, a perfect end to a horrible night.

© Ihechi .J. Solomon.

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