◦,'°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°',◦◦

"Because what's worse than

knowing you want something,

besides knowing you can never have it?"

― James Patterson,

◦,'°.✽✦✽.◦.✽✦✽.°',◦◦

Your body is tired because you haven't been able to sleep a wink due to the disturbing nightmares that have occurred.

The entire dream was about Seokjin's final graduation week, when you go through the most devastating time of your life, losing your anchor - your father - and realizing that Seokjin will never be yours. That your unrealistic hopes and dreams were dashed. Where you had to accept expressly that Seokjin will never consider you as a romantic interest.

You were not his type. The unbearable truth made you acknowledge it was time to let go--forever.

You told your mother and Em that you could not attend work today. It was too distressing to see Seokjin again, and you still have unresolved feelings for the man your heart couldn't let go of but your mind dared to let go.

You just lay in your bed, your eyes red-rimmed from crying the entire night. Your mother found out about your latest encounter with Soekjin from Em. She couldn't believe she had left you there to deal with the devastation of your past.

You heard a knock on the door but were too tired to answer it. Your door was open, and you turned your mother and greeted her in Romansh. The language you and your mom still speak when alone. You tried to speak Korean as often as possible so that Emily could become fluent.

"Bonjour, Maman...( Good morning mom )you say"softly.

"bonjour, belle. (good morning, beautiful; how did you sleep?" She came in and sat at the edge of the bed, looking at you with concern, her gaze roaming over the red-rimmed edges of your big, expressive eyes. She is aware of your uphill battle with deep depression, and she cannot comprehend having to deal with the recurrence of the past that you have worked so hard to forget.

"I'm not feeling well, Mom; I couldn't sleep. I'm sure Emila told you about the Kims, the wedding couple. Seokjin is the younger sibling.'" You sat up straight and took a deep breath.

"You're an adult now, baby... and he's also an adult. You will be able to handle the situation now. You're not that idealistic and naive little student who showered him with excessive love. You've matured now." She smiled and took your hand in hers, affectionately rubbing it.

You look up at her, your eyes welling up with unshed tears. "Is it possible for me to be mature enough not to be affected by his presence, mama? But yesterday, when I looked into the eyes of the man who had captured my young girl's heart. I realized I still... I still love him. Mamam, I...don't want to love him anymore. Seeing him hurt me so much. I thought I had moved on a bit..but ... du meine Güte, (oh my goodness...)I can't do it, mama." you started to sob painfully.

Your mother jumped up and came to embrace you lovingly. She knows how difficult it is to deal with unrequited love. You were hurt, and you love too much. Now, you don't want to embrace romance anymore. Your heart is cold for anything remotely romantic. Valentine's Day is one of the most challenging times of the year for you because the entire world is filled with tokens of love.

" You don't have to deal with it today. If they come to the cafe today, Emilia and I will handle it. Unwind at home with your favourite mystery/thriller book and some jasmine tea. Em and I will manage it at work. Ok. You have the right to sleep, I. You work so hard, baby. "She smiled and stroked your tear-streaked cheek.

You grin and hug her tightly,"(I love you)--Jeu career tei- mama, thank you. I'll take a rest today to regain my focus."

"Em, and I will always be there for you...whatever decision you make. Maybe it's fate to bring your feelings to a close. You will leave the past behind." She made an effort to reassure you. But Seokjin was "it" for you, according to your mother.

Emilia entered the room with a cheerful expression. She and her boyfriend went on a date last night, and she seemed ecstatic. Maybe he popped the question you pondered.

Emilia chuckles, "Morning....morning!Do we have a meeting that I wasn't invited to?" She laughs as he comes in with a large cappuccino mug for you. Caffeine for the day.

"Good morning, Em, no. How can we not invite the self-appointed CEO of this household? Mamam just gave me the day off. Will you be able to handle everything on your own? I have 6 dozen fairy and princess cupcakes that must be delivered at noon. A CEO ordered for his youngest granddaughter's birthday party in Yongsan-gu. And I have a pastry delivery for one of the company cafeterias. Please handle that for me. I will be eternally grateful."

Emily nods and kisses your mom on the cheek, "Morning mamam...I thought you were already gone, I would've made you some hot drink also..." she looked a little regretful to your mam, who also became her mam in Seoul.

Your mother smiles and dismisses it, saying, "It's fine...I'll get a full breakfast at the cafe today. As the official part of the menu, we're experimenting with a new breakfast menu. Pancakes with mushrooms and salmon. So, Em, are you riding with me or..." she trailed off.

"No, mama, I'll take the little van and do all the deliveries early." She smiled at your mama. Your mom sighed deeply, kissed you on the forehead, and greeted the two of you as she left the room. You looked at Em as you sipped your hot beverage.

Based on the furrowed eyebrows, Emilia looks a little concerned, "Are you OK? Bestie. Your eyes seem red. "

You shook your head, and with sad eyes, you looked at her. "I'm not Em...Why did Seokjin happen to come into my life this time? I worked so hard to forget him. Years of therapy have gone "down the drain."

Emily wrinkled her brow and bit her lip "I believe he wishes to be in your life this time, Mayla. He was adamant about making amends for the hurt he had caused you. He seemed overjoyed to have found you. He discovered a missing piece in his puzzle. Or... are you sure your feelings were one-sided... he was too excited to find you," she chuckled, looking at your stunned expression.

"Seokjin... loved Sung Kyung", you snort, returning the cup to the side table. "I was a thorn in their sides. I don't want to be reminded of that blunder from my past. I'm not going to be amused by Seokjin's antics. Emilia, I'm done, Emilia. I am done of actively loving him. I will forget him again you'll see---" but you don't look to convince yourself.

Emily giggled, "You look very determined to forget him, Mayla ..but he will not let you keep him away from you. He wants his puppy face back."

"Well this "puppy face" was put to sleep, She doesn't exist anymore." you narrowed your brows.

Emilia laughs softly, "If you say so...maybe it's time to face him and be normal in his presence. You are not going to run after him no more. Just be yourself... stop running away."

You flashed a determined smile, "That is what I intend to do...no more running. I'll try to face my past and move on."

Emily clapped her hands, "That is my girl..."

You nod, "But not today---"! You jumped out of bed and went to your bathroom to prepare for your lazy day.

Emily called after you, "Ok girl...let me love you and leave you. be safe and enjoy your off day." She turned and took your empty cup before leaving your bedroom.

You found yourself sitting in the open plan lounge with your legs stretched out on the soft sofas after dressing in a short, loose top. Reminisce about your life. You couldn't stop thinking about your traumatic past...

FLASHBACK- 8 YEARS AGO

Your love for the young Seokjins' heart had you reeling. You didn't care if Sung Kyung was his girlfriend. He told you that he hasn't decided whether or not to marry her anytime soon. That gave you hope.

You knew Seokjin would leave in a few days straight after graduation. It was graduation week, and the campus was buzzing with activity as the fourth-year seniors bid farewell. You felt so out of place that you were afraid you'd never see Seokjin again. However, you have heard that he may return to South Korea. Sung Kyung told her friends she was waiting for Seokjin to propose and that she would follow him wherever he went. You scoff because you knew Seokjin wasn't ready for anything serious.

Your expectations were high. You realize it was wishful thinking, but you'll keep hoping until the end. You baked him a cake earlier that week, on Monday, to congratulate him before his official graduation on Saturday. You've decided to shower him with cute mementoes to remember you by on a daily basis. Maybe he'll realize how much you cared for him. You also sent him a cute card the previous Sunday.

But you didn't expect your nice gesture to be used to humiliate you. You, Emila, and two of your second-year friends were walking back to your dorms after class. But as you walked through the student hall, Sung Kuyng and her friends confronted you.

You were all surprised to see her with flashing eyes. What surprised you was the cake you made her friend was holding, which you had lovingly baked for Seokjin the day before. Two slices of cake were consumed. It was a delicious red velvet cake with fresh berries inside and on top. You may have heard from Seokjin that he dislikes all strawberry-flavoured foods. Still, he loves fresh strawberries, so you and Emilia went to the fruit market early the previous Saturday to get the sweetest and most giant strawberries you can find-only the best for Seokjin. Emily even assisted you in baking the cake so it could be delivered earlier to his dorm room.

She was furious, and the scene transfixed the onlookers. Your heart was pounding like a drum as you looked into the eyes of one of the most beautiful girls on campus, eyes filled with disdain and hatred. She was enraged beyond reason.

"What the hell, Kang! We told you to leave us alone. Can't you see that we hate you interfering in our relationship...how many times do we have to beg you to let us be--" she screamed enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear. Some anticipated this confrontation and had their phone on them.

As you returned your gaze to Sung Kyung, you looked around with wary eyes. She was angered.

"I...I... never got involved in your relationship. Seokjin and I are friends...he enjoys the things I make for him. Is that a crime?" you retorted.

"No way! It would help if you weren't near my boyfriend. You're like poop on a baby's diaper that refuses to come off. We don't like you. Seokjin is too nice and kind to tell you that to your face. He despises the attention, the gifts you gave him, and even you as a friend." she rants on, cruelly.

Emily jumped in, "Hey...don't lie. He enjoys all of the baking goods. HE TOLD US!!"

You inhaled deeply to avoid expressing any hurt through your voice, although you already knew from what she said that he didn't like you that way, but you wanted him to feel special.

"I'm sorry if you feel that way, Sung--" you said softly.

"You...you're sorry? How amusing. You know you aren't sorry. You are a bloody stalker-an ugly lapdog who pursues his unwilling master. You are pitiful and delusional. Look at you...who in their right mind would date such a weirdo, ugly as hell. Even a demon looks sexier than you--" she snarls. She was pointing at your posture and the plain clothes you were wearing.

"I...know I'm not beautiful--" you strangled it out.

"I'm not done yet! Kang Mayla ., you're like...a leech...on anything wholesome. Even a blind man wouldn't find you attractive enough to date. LEAVE US ALONE. I AM HIS GIRLFRIEND...HIS FUTURE WIFE...You can crawl back to where you came from... the sewage tunnels... "with that, she grabbed the cake from her friend's hands and threw it straight in your face, and to top it all off, she rubbed it even further in your face.

Your jaw dropped open in surprise. All around you, you could hear snickers and gasps.

"WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM...YOU ARE SUCH A JEALOUS COW," Emily exploded.

Sung Kuyng gave an ugly snort, "Tweedledee, Tweedledum's equally ugly friend! You are the last to speak...You'll never be in our league--"

You inhaled deeply as you tried to wipe the cream from your glasses smeared with the white coating, and nobody could see your crying face.

"Sung Kyung, you're correct...I'm sorry if you felt this way. I had no idea how much it hurt you. Please forgive me. I'll apologize to Seokjin as well. I know I'm not as attractive as you. You're stunning. I've always admired your light honey eyes. Seokjin adores you, and yes...I admit that I was jealous...but I like Seokjin...but I...I would never interfere in your lives again." You responded with a deep, wounded voice.

Sung Kuyng and the onlookers were stunned by your sincere confession. She was speechless when she saw how you acted as if you were at fault. Some senior girls who saw the commotion and arrived on the scene were unimpressed by Sung Kyung's attitude and hurtful insults.

"And you think you're the most beautiful...right now, you're the vile person," said one senior girl.

One guy tapped you on the shoulder and looked at a stunned Kyung, "Seokjin will always have a better girlfriend in her. I feel sorry for Seokjin if he chose to marry such a jealous and evil witch as you--" With that, he lifts your face, licks the cake from your cheeks, and smirks.

"Her personality and attitude taste even sweeter right now--" he grins as he follows the rest of the seniors to class.

Kyung narrowed her eyes at you as your friends began cleaning you up with napkins and tissues. Your heart was aching at the time.

Kyung and her lackeys snorted and scoffed, stepped into their high heels, and exited the scene...

There were thousands of comments on the university's social media.

Mostly negative ones against Kyung's open jealousy. You had no idea you had such a large fanbase at university. Your endearing personality and optimism won you many fans.

You received the most devastating call from an aunt in your pain. Your father died in an accident, which tipped your world on its axis. It shattered your heart into shards...

When you returned, Your entire persona shifted...you came into Uni early on Saturday morning to speak to Seokjin and then bit him farewell. He was baffled, and you could tell he was upset about what had happened the previous Monday.

He had missed your presence until he heard and saw the footage of his 'puppy face' being publicly humiliated, but your reaction was admirable. He didn't want to admit it but was proud of you for handling yourself so well.

He was gobsmacked when you smiled and handed him a lovely gift bag. He took it with furrowed brows and inquiring eyes.

"Erm...I'm sorry for just badging in like that," you said warily, "but I want to apologize for all the discomfort, distress, and being a general pain in your life. I was selfish and obnoxious...."

"Puppy face..."He tried to speak, but you cut him off in the middle of his sentence.

"...no, I have to tell you this. I love you, Seokjin, but I promise you today that I will try to unlove you, forget about you, and...never run after you. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable or ruined your relationship with Kuyng. I sincerely apologize." Your eyes were swollen and hurt behind your glasses.

Seokjin was visibly pale as he looked down on your nervous demeanour. "Don't say that puppy face. You're never those things you mentioned. I apologize for what Kuyng did to you. You didn't ruin my relationship." He stroked your hair around your ears, making you shed tears because it was the first time he touched you willingly.

"It...it doesn't matter now, Seokjin," you simply shrugged. "I wish you the best in your life, future, and career. Please try to forget you ever met me...You can throw the gifts away... it's up to you...bye, Kim Seokjin."

In the following days, the uni student body couldn't get used to your quiet demeanour in class because your friends knew you were still grieving for your father, whose funeral was a few days ago. When you saw Seokjin and Kuyng, you would turn around and flee in another direction.

Unaware of how your constant absence hurt and affected Seokjin. His eyes were searching for you in the days before he left Switzerland. He longed to catch a glimpse of you. You were such a mystery. There would be no more sweet treats, cheerful greetings, or cute compliments on anything he did.

You stuck to your word...determined and ready to unlove him.

A/n. End of Mayla. Flashback.

A loud-🔊 shout out to you all.

Thank you to all of the Chefs'Kiss readers, voters, and commentators.Thank you so much for giving this book a chance.

1. Do you think that Seokjin had feelings for Mayla .?

2. Do you think Mayla . was too sweet in the confrontation?

3. Any idea what the gift bag was? The one who guesses correctly will get a dedication.