╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗
𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭,
𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐚 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮
𝐈𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦,
𝐈'𝐦 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮
╚═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╝

(via Daft Punk -
Digital Love)

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬, 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐞.

It was a sight that took him back every time he watched them from his window on New Year's Eve.

𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

He took a sip from his tea, trying to prevent those harmful emotions from taking over his mind. So much happened in the last few years, so many new, severe memories, all leading in one direction. A one-way journey, a path he had chosen to save the life of a person close to him.

"It was necessary", was one sentence that was stuck with him, burned in his head ever since. "She is worth fighting for", another one. At this point, they sounded dry, like they meant nothing anymore in the face of the future.

He could still feel the cold breeze on his cheek that was waving over the city that evening she called him over. It wasn't unusual for the two to spend time together, they were friends after all.

𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

𝐎𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

He could still feel her tears that slowly ran down his neck when she had rested her head on his shoulder. He focused on her uneven heartbeat and tried to comfort her, they were friends after all.

𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

𝐎𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

"Miles, darling? Are you alright?", a soft voice appeared behind him. A voice that followed him for years, haunted him. He didn't turn around, well aware of who it was. He didn't answer her, well aware of how the conversation would go down. He waited until he could feel her cold arms that she wrapped around his chest, her body that she pressed against his.

"Are you ok?", she repeated her question while she wiped a few strains of hair off his face. He smiled as he drew his attention to the girl. "It's alright", he mumbled while laying his arm around her.

"I hope so, darling. Every year on New Year's Eve you're so... lost in thoughts. I'm worried", she explained, tightening their hug. He leaned towards her and kissed her forehead. "That's sweet", he stroked her cheek gently, "but you don't have to worry about me." She hesitated, not believing him entirely. "Is it because of your father's death? You can always talk to me about it. I know that you tend to ignore DL-6 but... if it's getting too much for you to handle, remember I'm here for you."

His father's death was one of the few things he had locked away, shrugged it off like it was nothing out of the ordinary. For fourteen years he kept quiet about it, never told a soul about what really happened back then. He knew it was a secret we would take with him into his grave.

𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

Her comforting touches, it felt so plain, so ordinary. No emotions, no feelings, at least not from his side. What she gained from being with him, being with him in a relationship that seemed so wholesome and happy and yet was so fake and broken. But (Y/N), she never acknowledged it. Maybe she didn't want to see the truth, aware of how much it would hurt her, break her.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐧

𝐈𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧

"I've been thinking today as well. About the day we became a couple. Oh, those are such good memories. I wish we could repeat this moment somehow. It was so... Magic. I don't know how to describe this but you know what I mean, right?" She kissed his cheek, follows by a soft moan.

He could still feel the cold breeze on his cheek, the place she just kissed him on, that was waving over the city that evening she called him over.

He could still feel her tears that ran down his neck when she had rested her head on his shoulder.

It brought him back.
Back to where it all began.

He met (Y/N) when they were eighteen. She attended law school back then, not knowing where her path would lead her. A defence attorney, a prosecutor, it didn't matter to her. She only wanted to stay in court, fight for justice. A naive little girl, thinking that justice can be served equally. There was no such thing as justice for everyone, he had to experience it himself too often in his short life.

Mister Von Karma back then introduced the two. She wasn't special, only had average grades and wouldn't finish her bar exam earlier than the rest. Average and ordinary suited her well. Her character, her appearance, it was all just ordinary. The only thing that made her stand out was her mother who was a politician of high status, which is why his mentor wanted him to have contact with someone like her.

He didn't try to stay in touch with her, mainly because he didn't have to. Not knowing why, (Y/N) always messaged him, called him, suggested they should meet up if he had time to do so. She desperately tried to stay close to him, as if she didn't want to lose him.

He couldn't understand why, why she wanted to be near him. They didn't know each other well, shared no interest, shared no memories.

He would've felt bad if he would've pushed her away, mainly because he knew how he would've felt in her position.

If he'd known what he would have done to her if he'd really chosen to ignore her he'd never considered it an option in the first place.

And so the two spent more and more time together and eventually became friends. They opened up to each other and it showed him how wrong he was about (Y/N). She wasn't a boring and ordinary person, she was a gentle soul who was only showing her true self around people she trusted. Extroverted, yet going back to her shy self once someone was around her she didn't feel comfortable with.

He enjoyed her company more than he ever thought he would. It's been years since he spent his time with someone that wasn't Franziska, and their relationship hasn't been the greatest either. He left his old friends after his father's death, now living with the thought that he didn't deserve any friends anyway since he would just throw them away after some time. She managed to change his opinion about that without even knowing his struggles.

On that day he promised himself that he wanted to cherish this friendship. Even if she would leave one day he wanted to keep those memories.

Especially after she was fully honest to him about her past.

It was a sunny day in the middle of autumn. Despite the sunshine, it wasn't warm at all. He already had to go through his closet to get his winter jacket and scarf. It was one of the reasons why he was surprised that she wanted to meet him outside. She didn't like going out in general and especially not during cold weather like this. Additionally, she arranged the meetup only this morning and said in her message that it was "very important he would come tonight". He was concerned, just like he always was about her.

To be honest, he suspected for a long time that something was wrong with her. Even when she was in her more outgoing state when being around him she always had this shy, yet servile atmosphere. We wondered why, if it was just her character or if something else was causing it - or had caused it in the past. He quickly looked at his phone one last time to get the place for their meeting right. It wasn't an address or something similar to it, it was a sport poorly marked on a map. It seemed like she was in a hurry while making it, just another indication that she might be in trouble.

He had parked his car at the edge of the forest which turned out to be the spot where she wanted to meet him. She mentioned that she liked this place and often came here when she was taking her aunt's dog for a walk for a little pocket money when she was younger. It was a place of comfort for her.

He tried to stay on the path as much as possible while navigating through the darkness. The trees were blocking all the sunlight and it was close to sunset. She knew the forest better than he did, yet he was afraid that she might have gone missing.

After some time, it was almost sunset, he reached a tall tree with benches surrounding the trunk. There were a few signs next to the path, telling the history of the forest and the tree, but it was too dark to read them properly. A few lights were hanging from the branches of the tree, lighting up the area to a small extend. He recalled that she once talked about this place in particular, how she used to sit on the bench and watched her aunt's dog happily running around. It reminded him of himself, how he used to play with his dog in the garden of the Von Karma mansion when he was younger.

"There you are!", he heard her voice from behind him. Before he could turn around she had wrapped her arms around him and placed her head on his shoulder. "You've kept me waiting!" "Well, maybe I would've been here earlier if you would've given me a proper location instead of a screenshot from Google Maps with some weird markings", he complained while patting her head to greet her. "Last time when I was trying to explain to you the way to my new apartment building you've got lost and blamed me for my shitty description, so I figured I'd just send you a picture of a map instead."

He rolled with his eyes, followed by a soft giggle. "I guess, but how about we actually discuss a good location for a meetup next time." He turned around to her once she let go of him. "Which reminds me, your message sounded very concerning to me. Is everything alright?", he tried to get to the point instantly, yet she dodged his question. "I'm sorry if I worried you with my message. I just wanted you meet you today because I was in a good mood today. That's it."

It was not the best lie, she knew it herself. There was no need for a good lie anyway, he would always find out the truth in the end, just like he does in court. She couldn't hide anything from him, that's why it was necessary to finally tell him. "How about we sit down first and then keep talking, ok?", she suggested while pointing at the benches. He nodded and sat down right next to her.

They had a casual conversation, talking about everything that came to their mind, but something didn't feel right, at least not for him. She knew that there had to be a deeper reason why she wanted to talk with him tonight. After they had finished a small talk about his last case he forced himself to mention it again. "Hey, (Y/N). What's on your mind?" She stayed silent that first, then answered hesitantly: "It's nothing you need to worry about."

"I know you're lying. I can tell, so don't even try to lie to me." She turned away from him, trying to avoid eye contact with him at all cost. He could see a tear running down her cheek. He slowly reached out a hand and whipped it away, the moved a little closer to her. "(Y/N), you can always talk to me about everything. I'm your friend, right? I would never judge you for anything. So please, talk to me. I want to help you, I really do."

He slowly wrapped his arm around her and pressed her head against his chest. "Everything is fine, calm down. Take your time."

He could feel her tears that slowly ran down his neck when she had rested her head on his shoulder. He focused on her uneven heartbeat and tried to comfort her, they were friends after all.

He calmly waited for her to relax in his arms before letting go of her. When she moved back a little to be able to properly talk to him she reached out for his hands to still have his comfort close to her.

"I wanted to tell you this ever since I've assumed that you've noticed my strange behaviour, but I just didn't know how to... address it, and I was afraid for your reaction, honestly. I know that you would never reject me because of this, but... I know you're having your own problems, like your childhood trauma. I just didn't want to worry you with my problems. It feels selfish."

He reached out his right hand and softly stroke her cheek. "Don't worry about it. After all, I dumped my problems on you as well when I told you about my father's death and my nightmares. So it would only be fair if you'd do the same thing. That aside, it's no problems for me, I promise." She nodded and took a deep breath. One last reassuring nod from Miles, followed by a soft: "Go on, I'm listening", before she started to explain.

She was a kid from a wealthy family, they never had problems with money which made her childhood a lot easier. Not having to worry about poverty was a stress relief for both herself and her mother.

What happened to her dad, that was a secret her mum kept to herself. She didn't deny his existence, around their house were pictures of him hanging on the walls. What happened to him - whether he died or they got divorced - is a mystery to her.

Being alone with her mother came with a lot of pressure for both of them. She was a politician of high standing, rumors were always going around the media, as it was usual for people like her. She was focusing a lot on her job, leaving her daughter behind. Managing the household, working, all those were more important matters that needed her attention than her daughter.

She wanted to spend time with her, stop ignoring her, but as a single mum, she didn't have the choice over that. Someone needed to bring money home, even if it was hard for her daughter to understand, she hoped that someday she would realize and forgive her.

(Y/N) grew up in a confusing environment. She was always told that she had nothing to worry about since they had a lot of money and that she should appreciate it since there were so many people that had to live in poverty, suffer their entire life and that her mother worked a lot of her. But how was she supposed to appreciate the work of a woman that neglected her? Her mother was the only person she had in her life, and yet she didn't want to see that, pretending that her daughter could live without her attention and love.

The little girl always thought that her family had enough money, and wondered why her mother couldn't take just a day off for her. If someone would've ever explained to the girl that wasn't that easy, maybe she wouldn't have felt so down.

Neglected by the one person she had, (Y/N) was told by the people in her surroundings that she wasn't allowed to be sad. In their minds, it wasn't possible for people without money problems to be sad. After all, they could just buy anything they want, how could those people be possibly affected by such things as depression.

The little girl knew a person in her class when she was younger. She was from a normal family, who used to abuse her when she was younger. She was a cold person, the stereotypical depressed one might say. She never knew about (Y/N)'s depression. One time she tried to mention it, but ultimately lost her confidence after the girl shared her honest opinion on that matter.

"I will never understand those kids who get mental illnesses for no good reason. They all have such happy childhoods and then expect people to be caring when they suddenly become sad? I've had to endure abuse for the longest time, those kids can't even imagine how real depressions feel like. They are all just sensitive, that's it."

Low self-esteem and the feeling that nobody took her problems seriously, once (Y/N) had finished school she decided that she wanted to become a lawyer. She wanted to feel worthy and be able to help people.

She didn't have any sort of reputation in law school, she was an average girl that went unnoticed for most of the time. Average and ordinary were adjectives that suited her well. Despite that, one day she got a letter from none other than Mister Von Karma himself. Even though court and law weren't topics she was interested in until deciding to become a lawyer herself, she had heard of him multiple times already. He was a famous and powerful man, and when she got a request from him that she should introduce herself to his new student she couldn't decline.

What she never told Miles was that she used to adore him from the moment they met for the first time. She didn't understand herself why. He wasn't nice to her, visibly annoyed by her clinginess, and yet she never wanted him to leave. She wished she could tell him, tell him everything that was on her mind, but she couldn't. Building up the courage to tell him about her depression was hard enough for her already, telling him how she felt about him would be too much for her.

Being honest with herself, she didn't know what she truly felt for him. She wanted to stay with him, forever, but did it really count as love, or was it just her mind overreacting once again.

And once she finished her story, stayed silent and waited for him to answer.

The wind was howling through the trees of the forest, as she softly cried after telling him about her past. He didn't know how to react at this moment. Social interactions, casual conversations, comforting people, he had no experience in all of those areas. He took a deep breath and hugged her.

But the hug, it felt so very plain. For him, there was no place for emotions in that situation. He only needed to function, be able to help her. If he'd listen to his feelings his mind couldn't stay clear for her. The girl hesitated for a second, then hugged him back and rested her head on head on his shoulder. "Thank you for telling me, (Y/N)", he answered calmly as he stroke over her head. "May I ask you a few more questions, just to clear up any confusion."

She nodded, smiling sadly at him. "I'll try my best for you." He grabbed her hand and returned the smile. "Thank you."

"Alright, since when do you have depressions?", he asked carefully. He didn't want to start asking questions that might hurt her, she was going through enough pain already. "I don't know when it started, to be honest. My memories are all so confusing when I'm looking back at them. I'm sorry, I don't think I can answer your question properly. If I had to guess, I would say it started in my teenage years."

Before he could ask her further questions she laid a hand on his cheek. Her (E/C) eyes looked like made in glass, fake and yet so emotional, quiet yet telling a story. "You don't have to lie to me. Just ask me whatever you want, no need to beat around the bush for me." She smiled, a single tear running down her face as she slowly moved her hand away. He bit his lip. It surprised him that she noticed that quickly. He stayed silent for a second, before going to the one question that has been bothering him ever since she mentioned her depression for the first time.

"(Y/N)", did you ever try to commit suicide?"

She turned away, more tears running down her cheeks. It all started to slowly break. The fog that has followed her ever since, hiding everything in the past from both other people and herself, all started to come crashing down.

He stared at her while her gaze was turned to the floor, tears continuing to run down her face. He observed her, thinking about what was the best way of treating her in this situation. Through his head were running possible scenarios and outcomes depending on his decision. He felt like a kid in school that was writing a character analysis. He scanned her, interpreting a meaning into pointless actions of hers. All out of the fear that he might mistreat her.

There was no room for his own feelings. He only needed to function, be able to help her. It was for her own sake.

He knew that it was necessary.

He leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly. "Take your time. Nobody forces you to talk about it." She waved with her hands. "No, it's fine. I knew you would ask stuff like that. I should've prepared myself for it, I'm sorry."

He moved a little closer to her and laid his arm around her. "Don't blame yourself. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to talk about." She whipped the tears off her face and gave in his hug, calming down herself before answering his question. "Yes, I did. Heh, probably not a shocking answer to you, after everything I've told you."

He indeed expected this answer, needless to say, it still hurt him. Continuing to comfort her, he acknowledged how she started to shiver. The crying intensified as well, and before he could talk to her she pressed her head against his chest. "I'm so sorry, Miles." She carved her hands into his shoulder, so much it started to hurt him. However, he didn't say anything. "I'm sorry I have to bother you with my problem. I don't... I don't want to keep talking about it. I know what I forced you to come here because of it but..."

He took off his scarf and laid it around the crying girl. "Don't worry about it. I'm proud of you, (Y/N). It's hard to unroll the past, I know how it feels. If you don't want to talk about your suicide attempt, that's totally fine with me. I won't force you to talk shift anything." She looked up at him. Something changed in her eyes, they still looked as dead as they did before, but now there was a little bit of hope shining through the darkness.

It made him hope as well. Hope that he might be able to save her. She had to endure so much pain, so much that she was already driven to suicide once. She was his best friend, he couldn't let her die like this.

She hugged him deeply, still sobbing. "Thank you so much, Miles." He patted her head and smiled sadly. "Don't worry about it, we're best friends after all."

Something in him changed back then, something he couldn't describe, and possibly will never be able to do so.

We wondered how he would've reacted if he'd known beforehand how everything would turn in the future.

His reaction and the following consequences would've been the same, well aware of the direction it would lead into otherwise. He couldn't let this happen, that was the only thing he knew. He might not love her, but she's important enough to pretend, for her own sake.

His thoughts were disturbed by a loud sound coming from the outside. He looked into the sky and smiled sadly.

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬, 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐳𝐞.