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𝙍𝘼𝙁𝙀

LOOKING BACK NOW, Rafe Cameron knew he loved Charlotte Carrera the very first time he saw her. They were only children, barely five, but he knew that he felt something different in his heart when she smiled, or when she looked his way. She was divine.

Never having been good with his emotions, Rafe had no idea how to properly speak to her. Slowly, he watched as he pushed her away, turned the two of them into something even less than friends. Charlotte could barely stand to be around him by the time they'd entered the second grade.

He remembered his mother sitting down with him one day after school. Rafe had to have been seven at the time, maybe eight. It was after yet another message had been sent home reporting that Rafe had done something to torment the poor Carrera girl at school. If he remembered correctly, that time he had tied her shoe laces together which resulted in Charlotte face planting when she stood from her desk.

"Rafe," His mother's soft voice had said, running her manicured hand through his blonde hair, "Why are you so mean to Charlotte? She's a nice girl."

Rafe had shrugged, unsure of how to understand his emotions, let alone voice them out loud. "I don't know." He'd admitted, voice quiet.

His mother let out a gentle sigh — everything she did was just that, gentle. "Do you maybe have a little crush on her?"

Little? Rafe had thought, try ginormous.

But speaking it out loud would make him vulnerable. And if he had learned anything from his father, it was that Cameron men were not weak, not vulnerable. "She's annoying." He had finally muttered, trying to mask the lie in his voice.

He couldn't see her face from where she was sitting, but Rafe could envision the frown on his mother's face...even now. "There's nothing wrong with having a crush," she had reminded him, "I know there are some big emotions that come with it, but you don't have to hide them, Rafe. Why don't you try being nice to Charlotte, see how that makes you feel."

Rafe scrunched up his nose, "She's a Pogue," he argued, already having understood the class divisions at his age.

His mother stilled, body tensing slightly, "Where did you learn that word?"

"Kelce," Rafe answered, recalling how Kelce had pointed out all of the Pogues one day when their class had taken a field trip to the beach. Rafe remembered how he'd felt when Kecle's pointed finger swung on Charlotte, calling her out in front of everyone.

She'd cried that day, silent tears that tumbled down her perfect face. Rafe had never felt so conflicted as she stood there and cried. He was mad at Kelce for saying such a thing. Mad at Charlotte for being such a thing.

"One day," his mother finally spoke again, still running her hand through his hair, "When you realize how to express your feelings, you'll have a lot of making up to do when it comes to Charlotte Carrera. She's not a girl you want to let go of."

Rafe fake gagged, turning to look into his mother's blue eyes, "Never gonna happen."

She gave a small nod, a knowing smile touching on her pink lips, "Okay, Rafey. We'll see."

He could still hear his mother's voice now as he stood in the crowded Tiki Club, the condensation on his glass coating his hands in moisture.

"You'll have a lot of making up to do."

He didn't believe his mother at the time. He thought the feelings would just fade. Even after his mother died, he still never wanted to believe that she was right. He never wanted to believe that he could love someone so much that he could let his guard down completely.

But his mother was right.

His feelings for the Carrera girl had never faded, they only grew stronger. And they never stopped, even after he fucked everything up so severely.

He'd lost Charlotte Carrera a year ago, and his heart had never hurt more than it had over the past twelve months. He'd never felt so physically ill over something he had done. There was no one else to blame for what had happened...it was all him. He hated himself. Everyday that he woke up alone, he knew only he was to blame. Nothing had been right since she left...and it wouldn't be until she was back. 

He'd heard she was back in town, having come for the ceremony that honoured her and the Pogues at town hall. He couldn't bring himself to attend, no matter how badly he wanted to see her. He couldn't ruin her day, wouldn't do that to her.

But that day was over, and now he wanted, no needed, to see her. Even if he didn't speak to her, he needed to see her in person for the first time in a year. He needed to know that she was okay, that he hadn't destroyed her. 

If he just had the chance to show her that he'd changed, maybe she would let him in again, let him prove that he was never going to hurt her again. 

"Scotch on the rocks...actually make that a double."

Rafe's attention was pulled to the frenzied looking patron that had just sat down at the bar next to him. He had never seen him before, but if he squinted hard enough, Rafe might just say he looked like himself.

Curiosity got the best of him, prompting him to speak. "Rough day?" Rafe questioned, quirking his brows slightly as the guy looked over at him.

Doppelgänger let out a deep sigh, slamming back the scotch that had been placed in front of him. "You could say that."

Rafe nodded, turning back toward the bar, not really in the mood to chat with the uncanny valley looking man. And he got his wish, at least for a few minutes while the man downed another double.

"You know, this place is kinda fucked." Doppelgänger declared after a few moments. He glanced around for a moment, as if surveying the place. 

"You don't like tiki bars?" Rafe questioned, taking another sip of his soda.

The guy shook his head, "No, I mean the ODX."

"OBX," Rafe corrected.

"Yeah, whatever. I mean, everyone here is just so...odd I guess. It's like something out of a fucked up movie or something,." He looked to Rafe for a moment. "No offence."

"None taken."

Seemingly still wanting to vent, the guy continued. "I mean, I followed my girlfriend here for some stupid ceremony she had, and then she's all talk about these Pooks or whatever...They're saying all these words and talking about all these crazy stories that I still don't believe are even true. Hell, the seven of them found like lost treasure or something."

He kept talking, but Rafe had stopped listening, ice flooding through his veins for a moment.

No.

For the love of God, no.

"What'd you say your girlfriend's name was?" Rafe questioned, his voice a pitch higher than it should have been. The guy looked over at him, jaw slacking slightly over Rafe's interruption of whatever stupid rant he was on. "I just, I mean I might know her." Rafe lied, trying to make himself look considerably less suspicious.

The guy picked up his third drink, swirling the ice around. "Charlotte," he answered, her name sounding like poison coming from his mouth.

Rafe wanted to cry, no, maybe throw up. Punch this guy? He actually wasn't sure. He'd always known that Charlotte was too perfect to be alone, but the thought of her with anyone that wasn't him drove him insane. 

"She's not much of a girlfriend right now," The guy scoffed. "Three months we've been together and I just found out about her ex that she was with for like four fucking years or something."

"Six." Rafe corrected before he could stop himself.

"What?"

"Nothing," Rafe muttered, giving his head a small shake.

Doppelgänger was getting evidently more intoxicated, his words blending together more. "You know, that's probably why she hasn't let me sleep with her yet. Still in love with her ex who sounds like a real douche."

Rafe clenched his fist around his glass, so tightly it seemed that it was at risk of breaking. He had to stop himself from knocking this guy onto his ass. 

"Whatever," the guy muttered. " I don't have time for this shit. There's no way I'm staying with her if she's just going to keep jerking me around like this."

"That will be the biggest mistake of your life." Rafe shot back, words leaving his mouth without a second thought. As much as the thought of Charlotte with another guy destroyed him, he couldn't bear the thought of her getting her heart broken...again.

Becoming increasingly suspicious, the guy rose his brows. "What did you say your name was?"

Rafe threw a money on the bar to cover his tab, downing the rest of his drink. "I didn't," he answered. "Good luck with your girlfriend...But trust me when I say breaking that girl's heart will be the worst thing you'll ever do in your life."

After all...he would know. 

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