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FOR WHAT FELT like the fifth day in a row, Charlotte had barely slept.

Between the fact that JJ was still missing, and the fact that she had her lips against Rafe's less than twenty four hours ago, Charlotte's mind was running absolutely rampant. Too many emotions to even begin to decipher how she felt.

The garden was her only current reprieve. But even with her hands covered in soil, her mind was still on Rafe and JJ. She couldn't decide which one was giving her more turmoil.

The sun beat down over head, causing her to swipe at the sweat that had gathered on her brow. She'd been out there since morning, desperately trying to free herself from the prison that was her own mind. It was doing little to help, but it beat sitting at the shop with Kiara who she swore somehow knew what Charlotte had done with Rafe.

Charlotte tried to remind herself that she didn't care what her sister thought, but she knew that was a lie anyway. She cared. A lot. She also tried to remind herself that kissing Rafe was a mistake, but she knew that was a lie too. 

"Hey, Charls."

He said it so casually, Charlotte thought she was dreaming for a second as she looked up from the plants in front of her, squinting beneath the sun. She brought her hand up to shield her eyes, still convinced she was imagining it.

But, sure enough, JJ Maybank came walking across the property, acting as if he hadn't been missing for the past twenty four hours.

Relief flooded through Charlotte, so intense she was forced to bring a hand to her chest to steady her heart. But beneath that relief was an anger that had been clawing to get out.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She demanded, emotions pulling at her face as she wiped her hands on her pants. "Where the hell have you been, JJ?"

JJ rubbed at the back of his neck, giving her a sheepish look. "Where are the others?"

Charlotte undid the fence latch, stepping out from the garden to come face to face with her best friend. "They'll be here soon," she answered, arms crossed against her chest. "Now answer my question."

He wouldn't meet her eyes as he leaned up against the fence. "Nowhere. It's nothin'."

"Bullshit," Charlotte fired back, immediately calling his bluff. "I know when you're lying to me." She could tell by the way he walked up there that something had happened.

Letting out a deep exhale through is nose, JJ shook his head. "It's just my dad."

Ice ran through Charlotte's veins, coated with a fiery hot anger towards the sorry excuse of a man that was Luke Maybank. There were a million things she wanted to say about JJ's father, a million questions, but only one left her lips. "Are you okay?"

Finally looking up at her, JJ squinted beneath the sunset. "Not really sure how to answer that."

Charlotte's anger facade dropped immediately, replaced with sadness. There was one person on this Earth who could hurt JJ like no other, and that was his own father.

"J, I'm sorry," she said softly. "He's a sorry excuse for a man and an even sorrier excuse for a father. You don't deserve that shit."

Something that she said trigger JJ, his face crumpling slightly as he pulled his hat off his head, running a hand over his blonde locks. "See, that's the thing, Charley. He told me..." he trailed off, as if trying to decide if he wanted to say the next words. "He told me that he wasn't my real dad."

Visible shock rippled across Charlotte's face as she let out a small breath. "What?"

"He was bein'...well I don't know what he was being," JJ continued, turning his back to Charlotte for a moment as he paced the length of the garden. "But yesterday, while you were inside cleaning, that creepy groundskeeper from Blackstone shows up and gives me this." He pulled out a letter, shoving it into Charlotte's hands. "It's from Wes Genrette, and it says 'talk to your father'."

Charlotte's eyes darted across the page, taking in each shaky word that was written by Wes Genrette.

JJ didn't wait for her to finish reading. "And then Luke says that Wes Genrette...is my grandfather. Which makes Groff..."

Brown eyes shot up to meet blue ones, each of them with the same uncertainty. "Which means Groff would be your father," Charlotte concluded, a feeling of unease settling over her. That man creeped her out more than she cared to admit, and the thought of him being JJ's father was almost unnerving. "He's trying to tell you that Chandler Groff is your dad?" She reaffirmed.

"I know!" JJ exclaimed. "It doesn't make any sense. And then he said that Larissa -- you remember that painting of the girl? The story about her, the one where she drowned with her baby?" He had taken large steps toward Charlotte, standing right in front of her now. "He said that that baby didn't actually die...that that baby is me."

Charlotte felt something in her chest, and almost realization as she stared back at her best friend. It was almost as if she couldn't unsee it now...the resemblance.

"Why would Luke make up that story?" She questioned, trying to work every angle. "What does he gain?"

JJ shook his head. "It must be some stupid inheritance scheme that he's working. He's trying to get some money, use me for a quick buck, 'cause he's done it his entire life! That's all he's doing." He dropped his voice, looking back down at the letter. "Fuck, I don't know."

"Hey," Charlotte said softly, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. "You're still you. No matter what the actual truth is, you're JJ."

"Nah, come on, Charls," he muttered, brushing her hand off. "You know that's not true. You know that if what he is saying is even remotely true then it changes everything."

She didn't agree with him, but she didn't think he was in the headspace to argue.

"Listen," he began, folding the letter back up and shoving it into his pocket. "Can we just keep this between us...at least for now."

Charlotte watched him, her heart breaking over his turmoil. "Of course," she agreed instantly. "But I think you should tell Kiara."

JJ gave his head a small shake, "Char─"

"No," Charlotte argued, her voice no longer gentle. "She's your girlfriend, JJ. Don't push her away when shit gets hard. She doesn't deserve that and quite frankly neither do you." She bit down on her lip, trying to figure out the best way to word her thoughts. "J, you're my best friend and I love you, but my sister deserves someone who trusts her...who shares things with her. I'm sorry for what you're going through, like it's literally breaking my heart, but please let Kiara in on this. Please just let your walls down for once."

JJ stood in stunned silence, not expecting to be ridiculed in that moment. But instead of reacting defensively, he gave a small nod. "Alright," he agreed, much to Charlotte's surprise. "Where is she?"

Charlotte nodded toward the shop, trying to hide the shock on her face. "Shop."

"Thanks," JJ nodded, giving her a small smile before stalking off to talk to his girlfriend.

"Huh," Charlotte muttered to herself once he was gone, impressed that someone had listened to her for once.

As JJ disappeared inside, the sound of tires on the dirt driveway floated through the humid day. At the noise, Charlotte let out a low sigh of relief knowing it was her friends finally returning home. But as she turned, the smile on her face dropped. 

Because it wasn't the Twinkie coming down the driveway. It was Rafe's truck. 

Charlotte instantly turned, checking to make sure Kiara and JJ hadn't come outside at the noise. When there was no sign of them, she felt herself rushing toward where Rafe had parked the truck. Something about him being here for the third time in the past week felt so wrong. This was the Pogues' space, and Rafe being there contradicted everything they stood for. 

He had barely stepped out of the truck by the time Charlotte was all but shoving him back into it. "What are you doing here?" She demanded, again checking to make sure JJ and Kiara hadn't come to check out what was going on. 

Rafe startled at Charlotte's behaviour, stumbling slightly as he looked to her with furrowed brows. "I just came to talk to you."

Biting down on her lip, Charlotte studied his face, her heart clenching at the look of offense that covered it."Right," she nodded, taking a small step back. "Sorry." 

Rafe studied her expression, dipping his head slightly so he could get a good look at her eyes. "What's wrong?" He wondered, genuine concern in his voice. God, she wished he wouldn't do that...be so attentive and worried. It made not reverting back to her love for him that much harder.

Charlotte checked the house again. "It's just...now isn't the best time."

After the day JJ had had, she knew seeing Rafe here would send him right over the edge, and truthfully she didn't have the capacity, or the proper amount of sleep, to deal with that in the moment. 

Rafe looked past her for a moment, lightly resting a hand on her upper arm. "Are you in trouble? Is there someone here?"

"No," Charlotte assured with a small shake of her head. "It's just my sister and JJ inside."

"Right," Realization dawned on him as he nodded, jaw slightly clenched. "And you don't want them to see me?"

"No," Charlotte said again, this time with slightly more exasperation. "I..." she shook her head, trying to shake out the conflict that had settled. "Let's talk down by the water." She muttered, already beginning to walk down the drive toward the shoreline. 

She'd let him stay, but it didn't mean they had to talk within earshot of the shop. 

Rafe hesitated before ultimately following after her.  "Lottie, if you have someone here then--"

She shot him a look over her shoulder, "I already told you, Rafe. It's my sister and JJ. And besides, who else..." She trailed off, a slow smirk coming to her lips as she turned to face him, a realization setting in. "You think I have a boy inside?"

"I dunno," Rafe shrugged, jaw ticking slightly as he attempted to keep a neutral expression. 

Charlotte almost laughed at his failed attempt to hide his jealously. Typically she'd have drawn this out, but she knew it wasn't the time to do that. "I already told you," she said quietly, "There's no one else now. There's not going to be."

She said it as if it were nothing, but both of them knew that her admission was their entire future. She'd wait for him just as he'd wait for her. 

"So," She diverted, acting as if she hadn't just told Rafe exactly what he'd wanted to hear, "What's up?"

Rafe stared at her for a moment, as if memorizing her entire face like he seemed to do so often now. It seemed as if he thought his time with her was fleeting, that committing her face to memory would be the only way he could ever see it. "I just wanted to say sorry...for yesterday."

Charlotte stared back at him the same way, noting the way the sun illuminated his eyes. It took everything in her not to repeat the exact scenario he was apologizing for. She didn't want him to be sorry, but she needed him to know why she reacted the way she did. 

But that admission took a lot, it took her admitting what she was so afraid of. It took her being vulnerable. She wasn't sure that right now was the best time to broach the subject, but she wasn't sure what would be the best time. 

Letting out a shaky breath, she gave a small shake of her head. "You know you're the only person I've ever loved, and sometimes I wonder if you'll be the only person I'll ever love." 

Rafe nodded, "Lottie, it's the same for me. I know you're the only person I'll ever truly love."

Charlotte let out another breath, tears stinging at her eyes. "That's what terrifies me," she admitted, noting the way Rafe's face pinched slightly. "It scares the shit out of me, Rafe. Because I can't -- I can't get hurt again. I can't go through another breakup with you...I think it would literally destroy me."

"You won't," Rafe pleaded for her to believe him. "You won't have to, Lottie. Don't you see? I'm not the same idiot teenager I was before. I would never--I would never hurt you the way I did in the past. Never."

"You don't know that," Charlotte argued, lump settling in her throat. "How many times do we do this before we learn?" She questioned. "How many times do we break up and get back together before we realize that maybe..."

Something darkened in Rafe's features. "Maybe what, Charlotte?"

Charlotte glanced out to the water for a moment, tears brimming in her eyes as her throat seemed to tighten to the point where she could barely force words out. "I don't know," she finally admitted, because she didn't know.  

Rafe took a step toward her, forcing him to look at her, "Do you want me out of your life? Is that what you're trying to say to me right now?"

She could never want that, even if she was supposed to. 

"No." Charlotte answered, tear trickling down her cheek. "I don't know what the fuck I want, but I know for sure that it's not that."

The two of them fell into silence for a moment, neither of them truly knowing what to say. The waves lapped quietly, birds chirped, breeze blew. But neither of them said anything. 

Until Charlotte did. 

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if you just fell in love with someone who wasn't me? That maybe you'd be, I don't know...happier?"

Rafe's answer was instantaneous. "I don't think I'd be alive."

Charlotte's eyes softened. "What?" She breathed. 

Rafe ran a hand over his hair. "You still don't get it," he said quietly. "Lottie, you saved my life. You're the reason I'm alive. You're the reason I've gotten my shit together. You're my reason. And the thought of loving someone else has never once crossed my mind...because it's always been you. From the first day I saw you in kindergarten...it's always been you."

Tears blurred Charlotte's vision as she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Rafe's waist. He reacted instantly, pulling her against his chest in a tight embrace. Because that's what friends did. They didn't kiss. But they could hug. 

"We're going to be okay," Charlotte whispered, trying to convince herself.

Rafe nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "We are, Lottie."

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