twenty two
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↳ dearly beloved ↲

FROM BEHIND, A SOFT BANG SOUNDED OUT. My arms unfolded and fell to my waist, my head twisting to view a panel of the tall gate feet behind me. It had been such an unnoticeable occurrence—one that the Millers couldn't hear from their spot in their rocking chairs on the porch of their home—but still something that I'd picked up on.

A gentle snarl came from behind the alloy barrier. My eyes squinted, as if they were trying to see through the solid gate. My head snapped back to the older man and woman in front of me, who were too preoccupied with Judith in Carl's arms to notice. Nobody was batting an eye, which seemed entirely wrong.

The people here seemed to view the dead's racket as if it were only harmless bird chirping. Like it was something as mild as a neighbor mowing their lawn on an early Sunday morning. Something they could easily sleep through.

"Well," Carl let out a sigh, pulling my attention back to the current conversation we held with the elderly couple. "Her names Judith. I chose it."

"Judith." The woman smiled. "A lovely name for a lovely little girl."

Her husband chuckled in response. "Haven't seen a baby in a long time. Say, we used to have them little ones all around our house. Runnin', crawling, you name it. "

"Twelve grandkids." Mrs. Miller told Carl. "It's been too long."

Carl gave them a gentle smile, continuing to protectively hold Judith as they reached their hands toward the baby. He knew Judith's presence was shocking, so he didn't pay it much mind. Who wouldn't be struck by the sight of a child that hadn't been protected by walls? About a month ago, I thought there was possibility of her surviving the prison fall. When Tyrese and Carol had reunited her with Rick and Carl, I was speechless, too.

"Now, you let us know if you ever need someone to watch Judith! We'd both be thrilled to get any time with the sweetheart."

"Sure thing. I'm sure we could use the help." He replied, looking up.

That made me hold back a smile. Our group didn't need any help. Carl knew this. Especially not with Judith. There was no way we would ever hand her off to any of these residents. We'd made it this far without.

I lifted my chin, eyes catching on a clean-shaven Rick who was making his way down the street. The Miller's home was the very last on the block, making it evident he was heading toward us. I was proved correct when he passed us a small smile. I politely returned the gesture, and Carl's back straightened slightly at the sight of his father.

"Mind if I steal these trouble-makers back?" He asked, stopping near the bottom step while gesturing to Carl, Judith, and I. "We've got a busy day ahead."

Mrs. Miller was quick to stand from her chair, inching down her porch to approach Rick and shake his hand. Mr. Miller joined her side, and the two introduced themselves, taking a few moments to acknowledge how cute Judith was, then, how nice of kids Carl and I were.

The skin below Carl's eyes became warm as his manners were praised. I found myself awkwardly shifting my stance, trying to find somewhere comfortable to place my hanging arms as the couple commented on my youth and beauty, two concepts that I would have never given or associated myself with.

Rick hardly got a word in. Though, it didn't seem he minded much. I'd also found letting Alexandria's citizens talk for me was easier than composing my own words. It was so easy to say the wrong thing. To show how much the outside world had changed us. Staying silent was the simplest way to play it safe. Smiling and nodding sufficed here. I was fine with being labeled shy. . .so long as I wasn't seen as a wild animal.

As the Millers and Rick finished up, Carl and I made our way off the porch. The boy bid them farewell, and I gave a friendly wave as I took Judith from Carl, placing her in the new stroller we'd been donated. After strapping her in, I pulled the sun barrier across the top, then pushed the carriage down the sidewalk alongside the two boys.

"So, a busy day?" Carl spoke out, after the elderly couple had walked through their front door.

"Remember that woman, Jessie? The one who offered to trim both your hair?"

"Yeah." Carl said. "What, are you forcing us to go now?"

"No, but I should." Rick grinned. "You two look like you're preparing to be in a Pantene commercial."

I let out a laugh. Carl's mouth was slightly agape as he eyed his Dad.

"It's the style now, Rick." I joked, looking down to Judith. "Didn't you hear?"

"No," Rick looked to me, smiling. "I didn't hear. And neither did you, over that blanket of hair covering your ears."

Carl now grinned. He had no room to be talking, however. The back of his hair was curling only a few inches above his shoulders. His front pieces were pushed out of his eyes, but they were still hitting almost below his eyebrow.

Some odd part of me thought it almost looked good on him. Suited him. It was inexplainable, and I would never admit it out loud. But the thought still existed in my mind.

"Anyway," Rick continued, "She wants you both to meet her boys. Said there's lots of other kids who come to their place and hangout, too."

I grimaced now, fully pushing the visor over Judith's stroller so that there was no chance of her catching me frowning. It also gave me something to do so that Rick wouldn't focus too much on my expression.

"Hm." Carl mumbled out.

I couldn't have put it better.

"Listen, it doesn't have to be long. Just enough time to meet a few new kids. Who knows, you might like em'."

Carl ruffled his hair, forgetting about the absence of his dearly beloved hat. "I guess."

We followed alongside Rick until he was able to point out Jessie's place among the cluster of houses. From that point on, he took the stroller and turned back the opposite way, leaving Carl and I to move forward alone.

This left us walking side-by-side in the street, coming up on the sidewalk and stopping in front of the residence. The lights were on inside. The yard was cut neat and obviously well watered. I felt my insides twist as I thought about actually taking to effort to approach the home. It felt that not long ago, Carl and I were in a similar situation. After the prison, he'd left the house, and I'd gone after him. We'd found ourselves facing a home just like this, only, Carl had been much more anxious to get inside.

I still remembered the way he'd ripped a lantern from the soil, and taken the sharp object into his hands before charging at the front door.

"Remember when you tried body-slamming that door?" I asked, my eyebrow raising slightly.

He hung his head low. "I thought you forgot about that."

"How could I?"

Over his obvious embarrassment, I caught the ghost of a smile. He remembered. Since that moment, we had covered hundreds of miles. Gone through countless hardships, and trials. We'd survived the worst of the worst, and in turn, managed to come out of it as different people. I was no longer that girl stuck behind the wrong side of the fence. He wasn't the stuck-up jack-ass I'd thought him to be.

He was my friend. My only friend. My best friend, if I wanted to get technical.

Other things changed, too, apart from our personalities and motives. Things like, for instance, his height compared to mine. He had grown without my noticing until his shoulders were above mine. He was probably about six foot, which made my five-six stature appear less significant. I'd never felt shorter, but it must have looked that way to others. I didn't enjoy the thought of that. My worth felt as if it were plummeting as I stood beside him. Neither of us were done growing—and I assumed I'd stop after an inch or two, and his height would only increase as time passed.

As we stepped onto the porch, I inhaled. This quiet breath didn't go unnoticed by Carl. Nothing did, apparently.

"We don't have to do this today."

I eyed the doorbell. It even had golden light behind the plastic button. Everything was perfect, in a way that made my skin crawl in utter disgust. I swallowed down my frustration and straightened my posture.

"No." I replied. "Let's get it over with."

My finger made contact with the button. The muffled ring traveled through the house, and it only took moments before we could hear steps making their way towards the door. Carl and I's pinkies accidentally made contact as we waited, both of us rapidly moving our hands away from one another before the door came open.

Behind it, a boy. He was nicely put together. Locks of golden hair were parted down the middle, framing his kind face. I could tell his eyes were blue, but they looked dark in the lighting, the reflection of the sun hitting back at his pupils. A soft smile came across his face as he opened the door wider.

"Hey! You must be Carl? And, you're Cyn?"

His arm briefly leaned against the frame, like he was so relaxed with the idea of new people, that he didn't feel any worry at all. When his eyes left Carl and fixed on me, he stood a bit straighter.

Carl nodded. His demeanor was closed off, but he didn't appear cold or callous. Just cautious. "Yeah."

Ron took a good look at the two of us. It seemed like he was assessing the scene in front of him. Maybe he'd been expecting us to be different. Quieter, more tedious, or maybe even a little less put together than we were. We'd cleaned up well. The boy standing directly in front of me seemed to agree.

He now smiled. "Alright, I'm Ron." His body turned sideways, back pressing into the door so that we could enter. "Come inside! The others are exited to meet you."

My foot crossed the barrier, Carl's steps right behind mine. When the door was closed behind us, I was hit with a freshened smell, as if his mother had just pulled a load of fresh linen from the dryer. His dad was in the living room, faced away from us, watching tv. When walking past the kitchen, I noted there were only four dishes in the sink. I could tell they'd eaten lunch not too long ago.

"We don't meet lots of people our age, so, it's nice to see you guys. If you ever feel like stopping by, we're almost always here after school; so you can come anytime."

"You have school?" Carl, who was still behind me, projected.

"It's in a garage. Little kids go in the morning, and then it's us in the afternoon." Ron's hands fell into his pockets. "I mean, probably you guys too, right?"

Something small caught my attention for a moment. A small child near the top of the staircase, peeking through the bars as we walked past. He looked sad, or frightened. Then he was gone, scurrying back into his room. Strange, but, not peculiar. The little boys action reminded me of something my own young sister would do at the sight of company.

"Probably." Carl responded, his eyes meeting mine briefly.

Ron flashed a smile again. He seemed nice for what it was worth. I couldn't recall meeting someone as welcoming as he proved himself to be, even before the world had ended. He might not have been as bad as I was initially expecting.

Only time would tell.

The walk came to an end, when Ron approached an opened door. My shoulder lightly brushed against Carl's as I stood near him, looking to what I presumed was Ron's room. It was colorful. Many posters were tacked on the walls, and he even had a TV, which seemed to be working. Then, I took note of the 'others'. A black haired boy, and a girl.

"Guys, this is Carl and Cyn. Cyn, Carl—this is Mikey, and Enid."

Mikey stood up from the beanbag chair to greet us. Enid had kept her eyes on the comic in her hands until hearing my name. The poor girl had obviously been outnumbered in boys. There was the tiniest glint in her eye before she focused back on the reading in front of her.

"Hey." Mikey said.

A soft, quiet "Hi" came from Enid's direction.

"Enid's from outside, too." Ron told us. "She just came eight months ago."

She blinked. She was pretty, and I could tell it was without effort. A feeling washed over me. One that I hadn't felt in a while. Shame. She had a figure that made her look like a woman. I felt my body was adolescent in comparison. I hadn't eaten well enough on the road to look like her.

I looked sick, in comparison. I'd never worried too much about the way I looked, but she'd suddenly made me conscious of my entire being. I felt such a level of discomfort that I wondered if there were bugs crawling all over my skin, or if it were just me. I pulled my heavy denim jacket over myself to provide bulky coverage.

I decided that when we got home, I would eat half the pan of the home-made lasagna that was dropped off by one of our neighbors. Perhaps that would contribute to me looking more like a lady.

I wasn't sure why I cared about looking feminine suddenly. I guessed my short glance at Enid had reminded me that I was, in fact, a girl. I dressed the part, but nothing particular about my body screamed female. I was meant to have more on me. Curves, at that. Being friends with only Carl, a teenage boy, had made me oblivious to the milestones I should have been reaching at my age.

Carl felt in his pocket, pulling out a folded comic to show it to the boys. "Oh, right. Is this one of yours?"

We'd gone back to the attic today, before lunch. He'd read the entire comic while I'd scanned many of the magazines. It had occupied us for many hours before we'd decided to take Judith and walk the streets.

Ron laughed. "Sorry. We didn't know you guys got that house."

Mikey nodded. "We mostly just hang out there, and listen to music. That's Enid's."

She turned her gaze again. Carl extended his hand to give her the item back, and she rapidly took it without a single word, like she wanted nothing to do with him in the slightest. She looked peeved at the fact he assumed a girl wouldn't read comics. To be frank, it was a little screwed that he hadn't even thought about asking her too.

"Want to play some video games?" Ron asked us. "Or, Mikey's house has a pool table, but his dad's kind of strict about it, so—"

A laugh came from Mikey. "It's okay, he's at work."

Work. What alternate dimension had we found ourselves in? There was absolutely no recognition of what lay beyond the walls. It felt like maybe it had never existed at all, and that we had gone entirely mad. While we'd been fighting for our lives, these individuals had been playing video games. Going to school.

I looked to Carl. He appeared pale in color. I guessed I wasn't the only one completely overwhelmed. He was struggling to find words. I didn't even attempt at it.

"Sorry. . .I guess we come on kind of strong." Ron realized. "We can all just hangout."

Mikey nodded. "You guys don't even have to talk if you don't want to."

"Yeah, took Enid three weeks to say something."

My gaze then met Enid's. I felt the smallest amount of fear leave my chest as I was reminded she was from outside, too. She had to have understood what we were feeling in this moment.

"Let's play some video games." Carl finally spoke out.

Ron showed Carl to the beanbag beside Mikey. Not wanting to have to play shooting games, as I'd had enough practice in real life, I took a seat on the edge of the bed. Carl glanced back to make sure I was fine before he took a controller. I instead rested my back against the wall, looking at all the posters on the opposing side.

For minutes, I surveyed Ron's room, forgetting about the girl sitting near me until the boys were enveloped in a match, and I heard something land beside me. When I twisted, I saw the very comic she had taken from Carl beside me. I picked it up, confused as to why she was now acting like she hadn't thrown it in my direction.

Had she meant to hit me with it—or was it a peace offering?

"They do the same shit for hours." She finally said, engulfed in her reading. "Start it now, and you might finish the series before they get bored."

I scanned the pages, taking in her words, then putting it down. "Thanks, but comics aren't really my thing."

"Then, what is?" Her voice seemed dull and uninterested.

I thought for a moment, picking at the threads poking out of the blanket. "I haven't really gotten a chance to figure that out."

She finally put her comic down.

"Might have an idea."

My brows furrowed, and I watched as she stood, slinging a pack over her back. I slid off the mattress to follow her. When she went to open Ron's door, all three of the boys turned.

"Dipping already?" Mikey asked us.

Enid shrugged. "This is boring."

Carl was twisted around, resting his elbow on the top of the beanbag. "Where are you going?"

Enid looked to the window. "Just doing girl stuff. Painting our nails."

Mikey groaned at this, causing Ron to laugh before they unpaused the game and focused back on the screen. I gave a nod to Carl, and only then did he turn back to join the other two. As we closed the bedroom door behind us, we made our way through the hall, and I looked to my hands.

"You better not be serious." I told her, frightened by the idea of sporting polish on my fingernails.

Enid breathed out a laugh as she led us through the back door. "Mentioning girl stuff is the only way to get those boys to leave you alone."

▬ ▬ ▬

"You've done this before?" I attempted to hide the worry in my voice.

Enid only nodded.

I had just registered how tall the wall really was. Compared to her and I, we would need at least five people's shoulders to boost us up and over. She had insisted we could scale the thing ourself.

"You can't tell them. The people here don't understand."

That seemed to be the understatement of the year. The citizens here didn't even appear to know how to hold a blade right. I didn't doubt they would be terrified to see two girls climbing up the wall to willingly go outside.

My group wouldn't approve of it, either. We never did things alone. Not without a member knowing where we were, at the least. If anyone found out, the excursion would be called reckless. Which, wasn't entirely wrong. But I still wanted to do it.

Enid pulled a few metal rods from her bag, pushing one through the hole in the porous beam connecting the fence panels together.

"I won't tell. But, why can't we just go through the front? Do they not let people out?" I asked, curious if Alexandria was just another Terminus.

"They'd let us through, but only if we had permission. They don't want people our age leaving without it being approved or accounted for."

The rods Enid placed as she climbed acted as a small ladder. I followed close behind, my knuckles white as I grabbed for the rod above. Hoisting myself up further, I watched as she leaned over the top, securing the next step on the outside side of the wall. We were apparently climbing down the same way we'd gone up.

Once reaching the bottom exterior, I found Enid to be very successful at distracting walkers, rather than going hand-to-hand with them. Each little gadget she wound up and threw cleared us a safe path through the woods. Although I had Beth's knife on me, I didn't have to use it once. The girl beside me had different ways.

Enid was living by the rules of the game, all while breaking others. She was a curious being.

When we finally emerged from the wooded area, we found ourselves walking towards a group of houses ahead. These ones didn't have fences like Alexandria, though. Enid said Ron had once told her this neighborhood was one of the many forced to evacuate in the beginning. It was completely vacated.

This area just west of Alexandria seemed even wealthier. The houses were built larger, and wider. The exteriors flashed white stone, and marble. If Carl had thought our home looked like a mansion, I couldn't imagine how he would view these. The house directly in front of me had to have been worth more money than my family would make in their entire lifetime.

"Let's go inside." Enid suggested. "Not like the owners will be back anytime soon."

I nodded. "It's just collecting dust."

Not only the house, but I guessed there would also be thousands of dollars worth of items in there, untouched.

We walked past the unmaintained front fountain filled with crunchy leaves and muddy rainwater. Going up to the door, we tried everything to get it open before I unsheathed my knife, and lodged the blade through the lock. I toggled with it for a good while before Enid had the brilliant idea to instead throw a large rock at one of the windows.

The two of us exchanged a glance of success as the crystal shards landed in the garden bed. I peeled my jacket off, placing it over the jagged bottom edge of the window so that we could crawl through. Once both making it inside, we spent minutes exploring.

I lifted up a glass statue sitting on the long dining table, showing it to Enid to acknowledge how oddly shaped it was.

"Rich people buy the ugliest art." She noted, stepping closer to get a better look at the heavy item.

I laughed. "And I bet you this sculpture alone would have funded my college."

"Break it." She suggested calmly.

I tilted my head, getting a better grip on the glass. "Why?"

"Because—these rich pricks are probably sipping cocktails in an underground bunker somewhere. People like them had the chance to get out before things got bad."

I nodded in agreement, letting the sculpture slip from my hands. As it made contact with the ground, it shattered into little pieces. The whole downstairs echoed in crystal rainfall as we laughed. Before I'd even gotten the chance to walk forward, Enid was ripping a canvas from the wall, tossing the frame against the opposite side so that the wood beams holding the art together crackled and broke apart.

I stopped at the sound of a quiet chirp, realizing it had been going off this entire time. It was too quiet to notice at first, but now, it was evolving. Getting louder, until the sounds became shrill and extremely loud.

Of course they had an alarm system.

The girl and I went quiet before splitting apart, each running in a different direction to find any sign of a control box. With panicked steps, I took the stone stairs two at a time, breathing heavily as I rushed through the upper hallway.

I pushed open each door, but there were only bedrooms and bathrooms up here, apart from one office, which had no sign of an alarm control. When stopping at the window, I leaned forward, noting the dead that were now pulling themselves from the tree-line, shuffling closer to the house.

"I need help!" Enid's muffled voice shouted, causing me to quickly rush down the steps.

I scanned the bottom level, finding no sign of her at all. Stepping over our mess of destruction, I made way to the darkened end of the hall. The door was ever-so-slightly cracked, causing me to push it open and reveal the garage behind.

Enid was here, trying her hardest to pull a grey panel open. I rushed to her side, hitting the bottom of my palm against the metal. After a few repetitions, it opened, and she went for the glowing buttons inside.

The ringing sound then suddenly cut. I placed my head on the wall, then pushed back and sat on the ground in pure exhaustion. Enid was slouched on the wall, still catching her breath before joining me on the ground.

"This was a stupid idea." She said in a monotone voice, before cracking a smile.

"Same time next week?" I joked, gripping the handle of my knife.

She came to a stand. "We need to work on our breaking-and-entering."

I pushed myself up, walking to the furthest door hidden behind a large, sleek black truck. Taking this way out would hopefully keep us clear from the dead who had been heading for the home. Carefully, I unlocked the side-door, making sure the path was clear before we swiftly made our exit. On the way out, I became aware of the sprinklers going off in the front yard—most likely stemming from one of the buttons that Enid had tried.

Another perk of being rich. Having your own water supply.

At least the grass had a chance at reviving itself - looking nice, for the dead that would later carry themselves through. Because, even walkers deserved the small luxuries of life.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
4,490 words • 7:17am

Carl is going to be MUCH taller in this book than his cannon height. I have nothing against short kings but I'm a tall bitch and have always wanted more height representation in books, along with a love interest who can still be taller. My boyfriend is 6'4 and he makes me feel like Sabrina Carpenter at my whopping 5'8 and Cyn deserves the same thing OKAYYY?!

sincerely yours,
nika.