【  𝐂𝐎𝐃𝐄𝐒  】

. . . . . ⌗ 021! ───── WALKER! 𖤐 ‧₊˚

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———————— ˗ˋ ୨୧ ˊ˗ ————————

—— THE LAST THING I expected to receive on a Wednesday afternoon during history class was a text from Alexis Lewis. Was I shocked? Yes. Did I stare at my phone for a good five minutes wondering if it had glitched? Yes. Was I complaining? Absolutely not.

In fact, the speed in which I replied to her message when I had gotten over my initial shock was sure to be record breaking. My heart thumped against my chest and I was worried I would go into cardiac arrest in the middle of learning about the French Revolution — which was not even nearly riveting enough to warrant a heart to stop, and so would be very awkward to explain to my teacher.

Alexis didn't reply immediately ( not that I expected her to, I was just glad she'd even texted me at all ) but I kept my phone open on our chats for the rest of the lesson just in case.

Part of me was anxious that she'd texted me on accident, but that would require her to have purposefully unblocked me first. Maybe one of her friends had done it as a joke? No, I was almost 100% sure they hated me as much as she did. That part hurt. I was so sure that me and Isaac had formed a somewhat brotherly bond over the few months of knowing each other, so when I texted him to explain my side of the story and he replied with 'K.' and nothing else, you can expect that my heart faltered a little. Though I shouldn't have expected any more, him and Alexis have been best friends since they were five.

Speaking of Isaac, it was his birthday soon. In a month, exactly. Should I text him? Should I call him? Should I make a birthday post— no that's stupid.

My mind stopped overcomplicating my relationship with the rest of Alexis' friend group as I slipped into bed after a long day and put on Brooklyn-99. A TV show that was sure to lift my mood, and if it didn't? Then my next, and only, option was to bother Leena for advice or sulk to my mom and do nothing about it.

My phone buzzed from my bedside table and I lifted my head immediately, heartbeat shooting up as hope walked through the door.

Hope was soon kicked out and had the door slammed in its face by complete and total disappointment as the name 'hannah🩶' appeared at the top of my phone.

Part of me was tempted to leave it and not answer, but I knew she wouldn't stop calling me until I picked up, so I swiped right and held it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Oh my God, I was waiting for agessss." Hannah groaned.

It was five seconds, but okay.

"Yeah, sorry about that, I was in Tanners room." I made up a poor excuse.

"So, I was thinking about this weekend and possibly going out for dinner, or maybe lunch or something nice. I just feel
like I haven't seen you in so long!" Hannah rambled.

I saw you at lunch today.

"No, yeah, totally." I mumbled, nearly falling asleep to the sound of her voice.

She then began droning on about her day, to which she faded out. I was suddenly interested in everything but what she had to say; the shade of cream that my wall was, how many assignments I had left uncompleted, what I was having for dinner, Alexis finally texting me back.

Wait, what?!

My thumb darted out to press on her notifications, fingers swiping across the screen as I replied.

LEXI🤍

hi

hey!

how are you?

i've been good, what about you?

that's a lie, i've been miserable
without you
[ message not sent ! ]

i've missed you
[ message not sent ! ]

i've been better.

sorry it took so long to
reply, i was having my
after school nap

don't worry about it! are you
okay? are you in school?

no im watching tv, trying to revise
but it's not going in

it will eventually, it worked before
remember? we did it together

yeah, i think that was because
of you though lol

Hope had recovered and was now banging on the door once more. Take that, disappointment.

i wish we could call but i'm kinda
busy right now :(

i don't think that would be a
good idea either way bcs
yknow

hannah and oscar and all
that

Jesus Christ, disappointment was relentless.

right yeah of course

sorry i completely forgot

i hadn't
[ message not sent ! ]

i wish things hadn't changed
between us
[message not sent ! ]

don't worry

what did you unblock me for?

i need some advice

oh

okay, sure

oscar said he loves me and
i cant say it back and i don't
know why

because you don't love him

but i should

he's been nothing but nice to me
and i feel awful about not feeling
the same way

Screw disappointment, now heartache and anger had joined the party. Why was she asking me for advice on her relationship with Oscar? As if I wanted them to work out. As if I wanted me and Alexis to be apart for the rest of our lives. I hated to ask this but, was she really that dense?

you're not entitled to feel any way
about him. he can't be mad at you for
losing feelings because you can't control
how you feel and who you feel that for

are you projecting? lol

wdym?

it just seems like you're trying
to tell me something

yeah i'm trying to tell you that it
oscar's mad you lost feelings then
he's not worth ur time or energy and
he's a dick

i was mad when you lost feelings

does that make me a dick?

i never lost feelings for you.
[ seen 16:37 ]

"Walker? Walker, can you hear me? Hellooooo?" Hannah's voice tuned back in as mine and Alexis' conversation ended.

"Yeah, sorry." I cleared my throat.

"Okay, good, so anyways, I was like, she's a complete and total bitch and I honestly wish the worst for her—"

"Hannah, I have to go, my dad's calling me."

"Oh, okay." I could hear the dismay dripping from her tone but brushed it off. Now wasn't the time to feel guilty. "See you in form?"

"Yeah, bye." I sighed in relief as she didn't battle to stay on the phone.

"Oh, and make sure to get back to me about this weekend—"

I hung up the phone and ran a hand over my face, throwing my phone on the pillow beside my head. I was undoubtedly going to try and make up some shitty excuse to not see Hannah on the weekend.

It's not that I didn't like her, because I did. She was nice to me and she was funny when she wasn't chatting shit about everyone she laid her eyes on. But she wasn't Alexis, and that's what threw me off.

— 𝒋𝒂𝒔𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔

redemption arc😼😼

i really want to get this book
finished by halloween because
then i have my mocks at school
so i need to focus on them :((

i also cant wait for the end of this
act when everything blows up😛

i'm low-key on fire with my publishing
recently like i updated this book last
night as well i'm so consistent🤑🤑