Oh, inevitably
I'll surrender everything
⁺ 𓂋 𓈒

"So you all do this often?"

I watch the others spray paint the wall of a closed-down shop. I shrug and look to the nervous-looking boy beside me "This or we just hang out"

The freckled boy looks at me "I would so be grounded if my parents knew I was here"

I chuckle and place my hand on his shoulder "Good thing we aren't holding you against your will"

Felix looks away "I need more fun in my life"

My eyes stray away from him at to the silvered-haired boy who laughed loudly at something Changbin said. Chan was also here as he quickly became a good friend of ours, I guess this school year made us welcome new faces into our close group of friends.

"What do you usually do on Sunday nights?" I ask him as my eyes still linger on Minho.

He hums before saying "Study, mostly"

Minho looked back at me, catching my eyes but I didn't look away. Instead, I held his eyes for a moment before looking to Felix who I realized also looked towards Minho and Changbin.

Felix looks at me with a small smile "Thank you for inviting me tonight"

I drop my hand from his shoulder "Yeah, don't worry about it. Just have a good time" Was all I said before walking away from the boy and grabbing a spray can—joining in on the so-called 'fun'.

We spent the time tagging up the place, we knew we wouldn't get caught as nobody was up around this time and cops hardly patrolled this part of town. So, we took our time. Let inspiration hit us and laid it all out onto this brick wall.

I drop the blue spray paint and look toward the others who are either conversing about uninteresting topics or decorating the wall. I walked to the curb and sat down with a sigh, running my finger through my hair but quickly letting out a low curse as I realized the blue paint on my hands was now in my hair.

"Blue is your color, you should dye it" I look to my right to see Minho walking up and then sitting beside me.

"Yeah and then my family will think I had some mental breakdown and identity crisis"

Minho lets out a breathy chuckle before letting the silence envelop us like it had done so often now. The sound of distant voices from the others and the crickets that lurked in the grass around us.

"Sometimes you have to stop letting the opinions of others control you" He spoke softly into the night breeze. I didn't respond as I continued to look into the darkness of the night. "Why did you invite Felix?" He now asked.

I shrug "I realized how stressed he's been" I look to Minho who was already looking at me "I'm not a dick Minho, He's my friend and I didn't like the state he's been in" Minho remains silent and it was his turn to look away.

"Hey, let's head out now before we do get caught up. Let's not test our luck" Changbin announces and Minho stands up.

I do the same but before he could follow the others who walked back to the cars I blurt out "I slept with Maya", making Minho stop walking.

He turned to me and I noticed his jaw was tense but he smirked "I wondered how long you would resist the temptation" He spoke with a harshness that I never experienced. "Guess not that long" He spat.

He was about to turn back around before I said "Why do you care?"

He furrows his brows and laughs bitterly "Why do I care?" He repeats my words and steps closer, making me step back "Why do you care?" He asks me now, "You want a reaction out of me and that's why you told me, isn't it?"

"Hey, are you guys coming?" Jeongin yells to us.

"I'll ride with Jisung" Minho responds to
him while still looking at me. Jeongin and Felix rode with me here but I saw Felix hopping into Changbin's car with the rest of them.

I look back to Minho and sighs loudly and walks past him. The others drove away as I got to my car, and got in and Minho quickly followed—getting into the passenger seat.

I start the car but I don't make a move, just sitting there—staring ahead.

I lick my dry lips before biting at the inside of my cheek nervously. Turning to Minho who sat there looking down like all his confidence drained by the time he got into the car. No longer bold and more ready to run away.

"I'm confused" I spoke aloud for the first time. Minho hesitated before looking at me "I don't know why I slept with Maya, I-I just..." I sigh loudly and turn away again, Looking up at I lean my head back, brows pushed together as I try to gather my thoughts. "I feel horrible about it and I shouldn't. She wanted it and in the moment I did too—or at least I told myself I did"

"Jisung—"

I shake my head and look at him "I'm confused, I'm so fucking confused Minho" I admit, feeling like I was on the verge of tears as I stare into my best friend's eyes. "I don't know what to feel or if the feelings that I do feel are good for me"

Minho turns to me now, fully. Listening to me like he always does. "What are you confused about?"

I really wished I could beat his ass right now. He wasn't understanding and I couldn't be mad at him, I didn't understand it myself.

I groan "Everything," I say loudly "My feelings for Maya," I say, looking at him and frowning "My feelings for you"

I watched him freeze but everything flashed in his eyes. Those big brown eyes that I've spent so many years looking into but right now they are so new to me.

They looked brighter even though it was night, I still saw the sparkle that lived in them.

My thoughts broke as he looked away and shook his head "You can't say shit like that Jisung" He spoke, "You-You can't say all this shit and not mean it by tomorrow" He looks at me "Don't do that to me" His voice was a little broken, I knew he was hurt but I didn't mean for my words to upset him.

I lean closer to him and reach over to touch his face but he slaps my hand away and I try again, which he does the same. This makes me grab his face into my hands to make him meet my eyes.

"Listen to me," I said, "Just fucking listen"

"Fine, you give me no other choice" He pulled my hands away and I didn't realize the smallest move from someone could bring you this much pain.

"I don't how to put it kindly" I shrug "Just being around you, since that night. I've realized you make me feel so much better than—"

"Than what?"

"Then being inside someone else okay?!" I shout, getting it out as his impatient personality starts to show.

Minho grimaces "Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He asks, "I make you feel better than all the girls you've slept with?" He says, leaning closer to me.

I shook my head, "No, You don't make me feel better" I said, grabbing his face as we were only inches away as I say "You make me feel more alive"

Maybe it was a minute later or maybe it was just a second, I didn't count as his lips pressed to mine. Molding together perfectly.

His hands grabbed onto my forearms as he didn't want to let go just like I didn't want to let go of this feeling.

Since that night at the party, I didn't want to let this go and I searched for it in Maya. The thrill, the feeling of this. My best friends lips.

[Now Playing - Love Song by Softcult]