I'm kissaphobic
Don't wanna get too close to you
⁺ 𓂋 𓈒

Hyunjin smiles at me and I furrow my brows as he sits down with Jeongin and Seungmin.

"What's with the creepy smile?" I ask.

He leans onto the table, closer to me as he says "A little birdie told me something interesting about you today"

"Tell this little birdie that it's not good to spread rumors" Minho intervenes.

"There are always rumors about me, this is old news Hyunjin"

Hyunjin squints at me "So, someone didn't pop by your house last night?"

I swallowed harshly and looked to Minho who stopped chewing and looked at me, Now he was interested in this said rumor which wasn't a rumor but for a second I wondered if I should lie and deny it.

I inhale and shrug "Yeah Maya stopped by, not a big deal," I said to Hyunjin and he smiled.

"Good to know my source is telling me the truth" He sits back "So the other thing is true as well ?"

They were all listening now and I knew what he was getting at but the others didn't. He knew and the look on his face now told me he knew that it was true.

He leans over the table and grabs me by the collar of my shirt with a large smile "You sneaky little bastard" He laughs and I push him away.

"Fuck off Hyunjin, it's not a big deal" I sit back down.

"I would love to be filled in," Minho says, abandoning his food.

Hyunjin looks at him and back to me "Since Jisung is my dearest friend I won't rat him out" He puts his hands up and sends me a wink.

Minho looks at me "What are you hiding?"

I look to the others and they soak up all the tension that rose. I clear my throat "I might be dating Maya"

Minho's face dropped but he quickly hid it and nodded slowly. "Oh" Was all he said.

"You bagged that?" Seungmin motions to where Maya sat "How?!"

I scoff "Are you saying she's out of my league?"

"Yes, he is," Jeongin says.

I glare at them "Look, it's not a big deal. We've only been dating for a week"

"A week?" I look at Minho and nod, "You kept that from us? From me?" He said quietly.

"It not that big of a deal—"

Minho stood up "No, it's not but you always told me the second you started dating someone and I don't see why this would be different," He said, shaking his head "What makes her so fucking different Jisung, ask yourself that" He walks away and my eyes follow him.

What made her different? I wasn't sure. I dated many girls but I've had a crush on Maya for years. She had to be different.

⁺ 𓂋 𓈒

My eyes catch sight of my silver-haired friend as he walks out of the school and I jog up to him "Hey, is everything okay?" I put my hand on his shoulder and he shrugs it off.

"I'm fine," He said quickly, not sparing me a glance before saying "My mom is waiting for me at home" He left as I stood there, not understanding what was wrong.

I called him over and over until I decided to leave the school's parking lot. Getting home and before I went inside, I called him again before pulling out of my driveway and going to his house.

My mind raced with questions on why he was upset with me. I didn't do anything wrong.

I pull up to his house and see his mom's car in the driveway, getting off and walking up to the house. I knock softly and wait for a moment before the door opens.

"Jisung" She looks at me with a soft smile "Minho isn't home right now, he should be getting here soon for dinner. You can wait up in his room if you like"

She moves aside to let me in and I do, walking in I ask "He isn't home?" She shakes her head "He mentioned to me that you wanted him home"

She furrows her brows "No, I just got home not long ago and he had messaged me that he would be home later, Is everything okay?"

I nod quickly "Yeah, I must've miss heard, Sorry"

She smiles "No need to worry" She says "You are free to stay for dinner if you want"

"Thank you," I say before I walk up to Minho's room.

I look around and sigh loudly, calling Minho again but it goes straight to voicemail. I sit on his bed and frown.

For some reason, I felt pathetic sitting here waiting for him. I stand up to leave but the door opens.

Minho looks at me before closing the door "My mom said you were here" He said lowly and my eyes go to his neck. A hickey peeked out from under his shirt. He didn't have a hickey at school, this was new.

I swallow harshly "Where we're you? I've been calling you since school ended"

Minho shrugs "Nowhere important," He says "Can we make this quick, I need to shower" He walks to his dresser and starts grabbing clean clothes.

"How can you be mad that I didn't tell you that I'm dating Maya when you are fucking someone and not telling me who?" I spat "That's being a hypocrite"

Minho turns to me and scoffs "How are you going to turn this around on me? This isn't about me?!"

"Is it not?" I said "Because you're sure as hell making it about you"

Minho's jaw clenched and he walked up to me "Fine, I'll admit it" He spoke softly but it was far from soft, coming out harsh. "I've been fucking the same person for almost two months, happy?"

Something in me snapped as I said "No"

Minho's face remained emotionless "Why? Not happy that I go back for more, because that's not me?"

I push him away and walk past him, tired of whatever he is trying to do but he catches my wrist. Turning me around and pushing me up against the door.

"Fucking admit it to me," He said close to my face and I breathe heavily. "Stop lying to yourself"

I shake my head "I don't know what your talking about"

Minho was about to punch the space beside my head before containing himself as his mom was home, making him groan loudly out of frustration.

"You piss me off," He says and my eyes go to the hickey, swallowing harshly as I imagine someone's lips on his neck.

I looked up to his eyes and he looked furious and hurt at the same time.

I seemed to get lost, not realizing how I leaned in until our lips were touching. Moved together as we grabbed onto each other's bodies for support, head spinning until a knock was heard on the door. Breaking us out of whatever daydream we were in.

"Boys, everything okay?" I pushed Minho away as I heard his mom's voice.

My eyes wide as Minho says "Y-Yeah, everything's okay Mom"

I didn't hear what she said next as my hearing distanced and all I thought about was Maya but mostly the kiss. His lips were on mine and his hands were on my body, it was like a high i've never felt before.

I saw Minho walking closer to me but I grabbed the doorknob and opened the door, walking past his mom who looked at me confused as I hurried downstairs.

"Jisung" Minho called for me but I didn't look back, I couldn't.

I couldn't face him. I kissed him. I fucking kissed my best friend after we had just made things right between us. I fucked it up, again. Just because I was selfish.

That's what we were, selfish. Both of us. He hated when I was in relationships because it took me away from the time we would spend. He was used to having me by his side twenty-four-seven so he would openly admit how he hated the girls I dated.

I never had a problem with him sleeping around. He slept with one person but never over and over. Once and he moved on to the next but this time he didn't and that bothered me. For some reason that hit me in a place I didn't realize I had. It made me jealous.

Jealous that when he was upset with me he would run to them, whoever it was. They had him in the ways I couldn't.

[Now Playing - Kissaphobic
by Make Out Monday]