𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗 noticed everything about her. Every twitch of her eye, every scrunch of her nose, the way she would fiddle with her fingers when she's nervous, the way she would bite her lips to keep them from trembling when she is sobbing, the way her eyes would light up when she's happy. She always looks very gorgeous when she's happy--- of course there is never a time she doesn't look gorgeous but when she's happy, she looks so ethereal he swears he can feel his heart beating against his chest, trying to get out of his ribcage and he is almost afraid she can hear it.

But then again, it won't really change anything would it?

Because, as cliché as it was, he wasn't the one making her happy. Someone else was, a certain someone else that has no clue how happy he makes her — even if he is miles away, caught up in his own life, drowning in his accomplishments, probably not even thinking about her, probably lying in his bed with another girl in his arms.

Felix didn't know why the thought angered him, but it did. Maybe it was because he was the one that had to sit and listen to her gushing over him for hours. Whenever he would go live, or drop a new mixtape, or announce a comeback, or appear in some tv show or music video as a cameo role. 

Nina was always there within seconds, and it didn't even take her a minute to run to Felix with a wide grin on her face ready to tell him the "good" news. 

"Hey Felix, Channie just announced his comeback!"

"I've been saving up, I'm gonna buy his album this time, you're gonna tell him right? Tell him I'm so proud of him!"

"Felix! Channie just came on live!" 

"His voice is so soothing. I've always loved it. I wonder when I'll hear it in private again." 

And he could only nod, faking a smile — wishing that he could one day take her to meet him again. 'Cause wishing for her to love him back was like dreaming about having the one thing that wasn't meant for you. So he wasn't going to waste his time on it. Instead, he was going to wish about being able to make her happy, and to do that, he had to take her to the source of said happiness himself.

________________________________________

"Hey Nina," Felix called out, sneaking his head inside the auditorium through the little crack in the door, checking to see if there were any professors present — none. So he creeped inside the room, crumbling the paper in his hands to create a ball and throwing it right at her. "Tsk Nina!"

That caught Nina's attention as she looked up from her script and squinted her eyes, jokingly glaring at him. She kept the script on the table in front of her as she made her way towards the boy clad in his favorite leather jacket, his jeans that he had ripped intentionally to make it look "cool" and his dyed dirty blonde hair that he didn't bother to style because in all honesty, it looked good even when it was messy.

As she reached him, her hand smacked down on his shoulders as he sheepishly grinned at her, the butterflies in his stomach going wild again — despite him trying his best to tame them to be calm. But in the butterflies' defense, Nina made his heart go crazy and it just couldn't be denied sadly.

"You better have some good news Lixie cause I am in the middle of a rehearsal here and I don't want Mr. Martin to—"

"Chill down Miss Girl, I've literally got the best news you've heard in a while you should be thanking me right now." Felix defended himself, holding his hands up.

"Well in my defense you haven't told me what the news is yet." Nina said, holding out her hand as Felix kept the two pieces of paper in her hands, the words "BANG CHAN" and "LIVE CONCERT" written on top of the red and white ticket. 

"AAH- OH MY GOD FELIX?! YOU BOUGHT US TICKETS TO BANGCHAN'S CONCERTS!" Nina shrieked as she realized that those were real tickets to Bang Chan's concert, the real deal not the fake papers that Felix would make to prank her, she was really going to meet him for real, after three years of waiting. Her eyes teared up in happiness as she looked at Felix, finding herself at a loss of words. 

"And Backstage pass-- awwe Nini, don't cry now. I didn't work my ass off to get you these tickets just for you to cry now did I?! Cheer up!" Felix smiled, patting the girl on her back as she hugged him tightly, blinking back his own tears because he too, was going to be seeing his best friend after so many years, seeing his two best friends together again, seeing Nina happy again. 

"I can't tell you how grateful I am to have you really--" Nina choked on her sob, burying her face in Felix's chest as he placed his chin on top of her head, closing his eyes for a second or two before opening his mouth to speak,

"You being happy is enough for me." 

_______________________________________

3 YEARS AGO

"I just love this place, I really do. Just like I love you. Taking my favorite person to my favorite place, I have always wanted to do this." Bangchan murmured before pressing his lips down on Nina's forehead.

He didn't know what it was with him today but he was just so happy, he had hearts in his eyes, and a certain giddiness he hadn't felt since he was a child. Maybe it was because he was finally able to tell Nina how much he loves her, maybe it was because the entertainment company in Korea had finally signed with him, maybe it was because he finally felt free enough to chase his dreams. Maybe because he knew this feeling wouldn't last forever.

He was leaving after all.

But Nina didn't have to know that, yet.

"Oh by the way, I finished that song I was making for you!" Bangchan exclaimed as he pulled away from Nina, taking her hand as he made her sit in front of his laptop, opening the file where he had kept the song as he passed her the headphones.

"Oh okay~ I'm really looking forward to hearing what my genius boyfriend has made for me." Nina said, rubbing her hands together to calm herself.

"You'll love it." He replied.

"Of course I will." She muttered before putting on the headphones and letting the music start.

"Even a fool knows this—"

"SHE'S THE BEST THING YOU'VE GOT!" Felix yelled, landing yet another blow to Bangchan's face as the older guy just stood there and let it happen, not even bothering to stop his enraged best friend. 

"YOU KNOW IT! I KNOW IT! EVERYONE KNOWS IT!" He yelled again, "AND YOU'RE PLANNING TO LEAVE HER WITHOUT AN EXPLANATION?!"

"Saying goodbye will only make it harder to leave Felix, you need to understand." Bangchan replied, a slight crack in his voice giving away the fact that he was also secretly breaking down. "You don't even know how much I want to take her with me—"

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU?!"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T GODDAMNIT! Her parents won't allow it, she's only seventeen and she's got her entire future in front of her. What if something happens to me, huh? What will she do all alone in a foreign country? It's too damn dangerous! And she already has a lot going on in her life, the last thing I want is to add to that." 

Felix went quiet at that, his hand falling beside him, unclenching his fists as he took in what Bangchan said. It was true, he knew how much Bangchan wanted to take Nina with her and also how dangerous it was. So all he could do was nod in defeat.

"I can't convince you to stay can I?" Felix sniffed, licking his dry lips as he tried to stop himself from breaking down in tears at that moment, "You're gonna leave either way aren't ya?"

Bangchan softened, sighing as he stepped closer to his best friend, opening up his arms for a hug, "Oh Felix—"

The sound of something heavy falling on the floor caught both their attention. Both the boys looked at the slightly open door, their breath stuck at their throat as they looked at Nina, before she took off, the tiffin box forgotten on the floor. 

Felix nodded for Bangchan to follow her, and watched the older boy run after the girl, folding his hands in a fist again as he finally let a broken sob escape him, his arms wrapping around his figure as he let it all out, when for the first time in his life, Lee Felix had had enough.

_________________________________

BANGCHAN came into Nina's life at a time where she needed him the most. It was unexpected, but it's not like she was complaining. She could never complain about Bagchan, even when he would mess up — cause he was just that perfect. He always had a way of making her feel better, distracting her from whatever was bothering her, he was the shoulder she cried on when life got a little too hard, the hand she held when she was walking down the streets, the voice she would listen to over and over again cause it would always calm her down. 

She honestly couldn't believe there was someone like Bangchan in her life. What did she even do to deserve such an angel? According to Bangchan, she "just simply made him fall in love." 

Him coming into her life was a miracle — their first meet is proof of that. It was a hard day for Nina, she had fought with her parents and dashed out with apologizing, the hurt on their faces now made her feel guilty as she walked aimlessly to who-knows-where. 

On reaching the nearest park, she sat down on one of the available benches, admiring the cherry blossoms as she tried to distract her mind from the fight. It had honestly tired her to death, who knew yelling and trying to defend her side of the argument was this hard?

The more she tried to distract herself, the harder it became. The fight was all that was on her mind and before she knew it the tears had started to well up in her eyes again as she buried her face in her hands to hide them. During this, she hadn't noticed that the boy sitting next to her was very focused on her silent mental breakdown, lips wrapped around his straw as he sipped, the sweet espresso melting against his tongue as he hummed, keeping his Starbucks beside him before he called out to the girl sitting on the other side of the bench.

"Yah, pretty lady." His silvery voice reached her ears, catching her attention as she raised an eyebrow at him. "What happened for you to cry on such a pretty day?" He asked, pointing at the bright blue sky and the cherry blossoms and then towards all the other people in the park who were all smiling and enjoying themselves.

"Oh…" Nina pursed her lips together, licking them as a nervous blush crept up to her face. 'So he has seen me crying' she thought, sighing before she opened his mouth to speak, "Nothing, just a disagreement with my parents." 

"Relatable." He let out a small breathy laugh, his voice becoming slightly deeper as he spoke again, "what, they won't let you choose the career of your choice or something?" 

"Hmm yeah something like that." Nina nodded, "They want me to pursue something else but performing was always my passion you know? That's what I want to do. But they think it's not safe for me." She sighed, fiddling with her fingers. "Whatever, if they're happy then I'm happy so I am going to go home and study what they want me to study anyway."

"Wow okay." Bangchan let out a sigh, propping his chin on top of his hands as he sneakily grinned at Nina. "You know, if you live your entire life doing something others want you to do and making them happy, when your life is ending, you'll realize that you've never truly been happy. Do you want that?"

"I… No."

"Then you need to believe in yourself, you need to go for it cause opportunities come once in a while and you're at the age where you should be picking up those opportunities not dropping them. Trust me, your parents are still your parents and nothing would make them happier than seeing you happy." 

Nina stayed silent, thinking of what to say but eventually giving up as she realized the guy was right. "Okay yeah, yeah you're right. I can't give this up."

"That's the spirit!" Bangchan exclaimed, "What's your name, pretty girl?" 

"Nina Kim. And yours?" 

"Bang Chan."

And little did she know how special he was going to be to her.

__________________________________

BUT EVEN THE SPECIAL had their moments. Moments where they weren't as special as they seemed, moments where they were the ones you were hurting because of and not the ones taking the hurt away. And Bangchan had lots of those moments.

He had his issues. He had his nights where he would come to Nina, drunk out of his mind or so high that his head was in the clouds and radiating toxicity, when he was the one that she needed an escape from. No, he never hurt her intentionally but when a person is barely sober and not in control of themselves, they never know what they're doing. 

Bangchan would drown himself in his music, high on his passion, and Nina became his favorite music sheet. But even she needed a break from all that, needed a break from being Bangchan's favorite music sheet, needed a break from being his girlfriend, needed a break from him. 

That's when Lee Felix came in. Bangchan's long lost best friend.

His infamous leather jacket, his ripped T shirt and baggy washed jeans tucked in his leather boots, his deep velvety voice, the lollipop that he always kept in his mouth because "cigarettes ruin your health so that's not available, so this lollipop will have to do." His precious Harley, and that smirk on his face that could make anyone's heart beat rapidly. 

If Bangchan was the angel, Felix was the devil.

At first, Nina had hated him, hated that stupid smirk, hated how prideful he was, hated his stubbornness, hated how he wouldn't leave her alone — but even the devil has his moments where he was vulnerable, the smugness nowhere to be seen, the smirk replaced by a genuine smile — small, but genuine. But that's only something he showed to Nina, sometimes to Bangchan, but his real side was something that he had kept for only Nina to see. 

While Bangchan was busy with his medicine, music and Molly — Felix had taken the responsibility to keep Nina company. Long night drives on his bike, little ice cream "dates", long deep conversations about nothing in general, it wasn't much but to Felix, it soon became everything.

Nina was aware of Felix's growing feelings, and if she could help herself, she would choose to fall for him too. But despite every one of Bangchan's imperfections, he was the only one she loved. He was the only one she ran to at the end of the day, the only one she could relate to, the only one she could fully trust and feel comfortable around, the only one who made her heart go crazy. 

And so when she dropped Felix's heart of glass and left him standing, crestfallen on the landing, he accepted that maybe he wasn't the main character in her story after all. 

________________________________________

"I THINK this is your cue to go." Felix said, pushing Nina towards the gate to the backstage, handing her the tickets as he stood there, lips tugged up in a small smile.

The girl looked at him, confused, "What, aren't you coming?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows as the boy shaked his head.

"No, you can handle yourself from here. Plus, I don't think your boyfriend would want me there when you two are having your moment after so long and I'm not looking forward to being a cockblocker." Felix replied, "Also the concert is about to start, I should go." 

"Well alright then, but I'm telling Bangchan you're here." 

"Hm okay." Felix nodded, turning around and walking towards the huge crowd, his small frame quickly disappearing in it.

The concert started about 15 minutes later, the lights dimmed down as the fans raised their phones with the torches on, waving their hands as Bangchan stepped on stage, a huge smile on his face. Felix smirked at that, knowing what must have happened and having a good idea about what's going to happen.

"Hey guys, so uh, today I have someone with me I want to show you." Bangchan spoke through his mic, smiling as the crowd encouraged him to go ahead. "She is someone very special to me, and I need you all today to help me to tell her how much I love her and how much I've missed her. You will all do that for me right?" 

The crowd screamed "YES" and congratulated and teased Bangchan as he called Nina up on stage and she slowly made her way towards him from the very corner of the stage that had a door leading to the backstage.

"So Nina, the love of my life, the first and only girl I've ever truly loved, believe me when I tell you just how terribly I missed you these three years but even if we were far apart, my love for you never faded, I still love you the same way I did years ago and today I want to dedicate this concert to you." 

Nina was crying happy tears by now, overwhelmed at the attention and love she was suddenly receiving, even from the fans. "I love you too Bangchan, I have ever since we started our relationship and always will."

That was it.

The crowd went wild at the confession as Felix gulped down the lump in his throat, shutting his eyes for a second as the confession hit him hard, the realization finally crashing down on his shoulders despite him knowing how it was going to turn out cause no matter how many years he spent with Nina, her heart still belonged to Bangchan. But you can get punched a hundred times, the next blow will still hurt the same.

The music started as Bangchan's voice reached his ears, drowning the noise from the crowd as he focused on the song, everyone moving on with their day as Felix stood still, neon lights surrounding him, with his feelings and the heavy burden on his heart, long forgotten in the crowd. 

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