P R O L O G U E

KIM DOYOUNG, your brother's best friend, your best friend's favorite subject to talk about, your neighborhood's pride, your school's it boy.

He was all of those things, but to you, he was just Kim Doyoung. Your first love. And obviously, your first heartbreak too.

Summer of 2016, his family moved in the house just across yours and you watched as your brother ran out of the house, pulling the unfamiliar boy in a hug and almost giving him a heart attack. You watched as they smiled and chatted away, your brother's eyes landing on you and forming into crescents.

❝ Y/n! This is Doyoung, he is going to be our new friend. ❞

And the boy waved at you, sweet eyes staring into yours.

Now that you look back, you should have known, he always looked like the heartbreaker type. But your 10 year old self just had a crush, a simple crush.

Damn your brother for ever introducing him to you.

1. F I R S T  B O Y  W I T H  A
DR I V E R ' S  L I C E N S E

YOU THOUGHT you'd ignore him till he eventually stops pestering you. But he never did stop. He was annoying, extremely annoying. He'd pop out of nowhere wherever you were and piss you off. And no you weren't annoyed cause of his presence, you were annoyed cause it only made your teeny tiny crush grow into an even bigger crush.

It's been five years since he moved now, five years since you got to know him, five years since you started digging your very own rabbit hole, obliviously and that's exactly why you fell down, only realising when it's too late.

Being three years older than you, and your senior in school, Doyoung got busier and busier and hence, your occasional meetings and playful quarrels were put to a stop. You heard he got a drivers license, he was the first guy in the neighborhood to get one.

A part of you was relieved that he won't be going to school with you and your brother from now on, but the other part of you was so extremely depressed because you were the last person to hear the news when you would usually be the first. It only reminded you of how distant you had become.

So when Doyoung pulled up in front of your house one evening and said,❝ Hop in.❞ You didn't give it a second thought.

He pulled up in front of a convenience store. ❝Do you want anything?❞ he asked, getting out of his car and opening your door for you to get out. ❝If you do, better get it now. It's not everyday that you get to come here with me. I will let you get all the 'cool' stuff.❞ He smirked, noticing the way your lips formed a pout.

Walking towards the convenience store and pushing the door open, you offer him a half smile. ❝FYI, no one asked you to bring me here. It was your choice. And no I don't need anything, I'm just fine.❞

❝Suit yourself.❞ He shrugged and walked inside the store, a smile immediately lighting up his features. ❝It's empty!❞

❝And that's a good thing?❞ you asked.

❝Yes.❞

❝Why-❞

❝Because!❞ he exclaimed, looking at you with disappointment in his face. ❝Nevermind, I knew you were lame.❞

❝Rude.❞ You muttered, watching as Doyoung made his way towards the carts and pushed one towards you, smiling mischievously as he curtsied in front of you as if you were a princess. ❝ Your carriage is here, my queen.❞ He said, making you blush slightly.

You hadn't gotten this much attention in a while, your brother was busy with his exams, your parents were busy with themselves, and you hadn't seen your friend since she got a boyfriend. So being with Doyoung felt nice, the attention he gave you at the moment felt nice.

You opened your mouth to bite back with a sassy reply only to cut yourself when a scream falls past your lips. Flailing your arms, you tried to get a hold of Doyoung who was holding on tightly to your waist and about to dump you into the cart.

❝Doyoung, what the actual fuck are you doing-❞ before you could even catch your breath, he had dropped you into the cart and started running while pushing it. You could only hold on to the cart for dear life while Doyoung yelled in joy, running around and making a mess inside the store.

❝Oh my god! We're gonna die-❞ You stuttered, shutting your eyes as you sat in the cart and embraced what was about to happen to you. ❝Oh shut up, we're just fine. Live a little!❞ Doyoung retorted, scoffing.

No thanks, you thought, I have been living since the day I was born and it's not a pleasant experience.

All of a sudden, you were thrown off of the cart as Doyoung stopped abruptly---- flying for a good few seconds, your moments of feeling like superman came to a stop as you collided with the rack that held the condiments, and everything, including the rack, came crashing down on you.

❝ WHAT WAS THAT?! ❞ a voice yelled from the distance. And soon, you could hear footsteps running towards where you were, and footsteps running away. As you felt the rack on top of you being lifted and came face to face with the store's owner, you knew what happened.

Doyoung had fled the scene. Leaving you to pay for damage control.

2. Y O U ' R E  A S K I N G  I F  I
W A N N A  C O M E  O U T

MAYBE you should have taken the hint and cut off all ties with Doyoung after that night. Maybe it was a sign that you needed to get him out of your life, that being anywhere near him will only lead you towards trouble.

So you did try to avoid him as much as possible. Everytime you even caught a slight glimpse of him, you'd turn the other way and run. You were ready to forgive and forget and move on but Doyoung didn't want that. Hence, he followed you around like a lost puppy, begging you to listen to his apology.

You weren't giving in though, not yet at least. But you had always known that your luck had never favored you, and it never will either.

Your parents had thrown a huge party because of your mother's success with her new movie and of course you had to show your face as her youngest daughter. Lots of familiar faces were invited to the party and of course, the Kim Family was no exception. So here you were, trying your best to hide yourself from Kim Doyoung's curious eyes that were desperately searching for you.

You knew your brother and him had fought, Doyoung's busted lips and the slightly visible purple bruises around his eyes were proof enough. And you could see it in your's and his parent's faces that they were clearly pissed at both boys too.

Trying to avoid any kind of argument, you discreetly made your way to the balcony only to have a hand tightly wrap around yours and drag you towards your room, pulling you inside and shutting the door.

You didn't even have to look up to see who it was-- cause if not Doyoung, then who else? Sighing, you sat on the small couch situated at the corner of your room, not bothering to look at the boy in front of you.

❝What do you want?❞ You asked, anger and disappointment dripping from every word that come out of your mouth.

Doyoung lowered his eyes, his lips forming a small pout. ❝ I wanted to apologize.❞

❝And do you think an apology is enough? An entire fucking rack fell on me because of your stupidity, I got in unnecessary trouble because of you too, my dad had to pay for all of that and later, I was the one that got shouted one when it should have been you. An apology isn't gonna do anything.❞ Ouch.

❝No well--❞ He stuttered, fiddling with his fingers- something he does when he is nervous or guilty. ❝An apology doesn't make it alright, I know. I took you there in the first place and you were my responsibility for the night, but I got you in trouble and ran like a coward.❞

❝I shouldn't have done that, of course and nothing excuses what I did that day-- b-but your brother is really angry at me and you know I don't like it when we fight. Apologizing to you is the only thing I can do, please forgive me so that your brother can forgive me too.❞ He finished, leaving you more disappointed than you were before his 'apology'.

Doyoung, having noticed the scoff you let out, panicked before quickly opening his mouth again. ❝And I swear that I will make it up to you too, just please.❞

If it was anybody else, you would have held a grudge against them forever. But it was Doyoung, the boy you had a crush on, your brother's best friend, someone who looked after you and cared for you. That Doyoung. So what could you do? You wanted to forgive and forget and move on anyway.

So you did what you should(not) have done, ❝Fine, I forgive you.❞

And he looked up with a smile that pushed you right into your rabbit hole.

Move on? Yeah right.

3. S A W  Y O U  I N  T H E  S U P E R M A R K E T,
W I T H  Y O U R  M U M, I  W A S  W I T H  M I N E  T O O

❝KEEP UP, YOUNG LADY!❞ Your mom smiled teasingly, watching you struggle to walk fast with all the bags she made you carry. ❝And this is what happens when you don't exercise.❞

You jokingly glared at her as you marched up to her with much difficulty, making her chuckle as she reached out her hand to pat you in the head, making you blush at the contact.

With how busy your mother had been the past few weeks because of promotions and interviews, you didn't expect her to suddenly whine about wanting to spend time with you today but it's not like you were complaining.

Your mother was a lovely woman, a good mom and a great companion. The only thing that bothered you was that whenever you two were out, someone was rushing towards her to get her autograph and interrupting your time together. But that wasn't her fault and you knew it, you couldn't place the blame on her.

❝Oh, Y/n, look! Doyoung and his mother.❞ Your mother pointed towards them, making your eyes snap towards Doyoung as you stared, watching as his mother waved at your mom and your mom did the same.

Turning towards you, your mother quickly asked, ❝You've made up with Doyoung right? Cause otherwise, it's going to be really awkward.❞

Well . . . had you? You knew you had forgiven him but you had continued to avoid him like the plague too.

❝Ye-yes, we're fine.❞ you answered. You two were just fine, as fine as you can get with ignoring each other and leaving the unspoken tension between you untouched.

Your mother smiled in relief before she turned to face Doyoung's mother and beamed at her. ❝How have you been?❞ She asked, getting a ❝I've been just fine, what about you?❞ as a reply. The two women kept on speaking for a few minutes, leaving both Doyoung and you to stare at each other awkwardly.

You almost dozed off while staring at him before what his mother said suddenly brought you back to your sense. ❝. . . Yes, Doyoung wanted to take responsibility for the mess so that it doesn't go on Y/n's record, she wasn't the one that caused it.❞

Wait a minute.

You looked at Doyoung with wide eyes, as he avoided your gaze, shyly looking down as your mother opened her mouth to speak. ❝Ah, he is such a good boy! So responsible. Thank you so much, Doyoung.❞

You knew she was just glad that this won't end up on you record, but you still couldn't stop the roll of your eyes. Doyoung grew nervous at that. He took responsibility, was it still not enough?

❝Y/n, I think you should drop the grudge now.❞ Your mother told you, softly pushing you towards Doyoung who stood as still as a statue.

❝Go and have some ice cream together! Don't take more than fifteen minutes though.❞ and with that she winked at you as Doyoung took your hand in his and walked towards the ice cream parlor.

Two minutes later, you were sitting in one of the cubicles in the ice cream parlor, facing Doyoung.

Your cold gaze landed on his, ❝Did you really do that?❞ you asked. Hearing this, he rolled his eyes at you, ❝If not me then who do you think did it? Didn't you hear what my mom said? Your record's clean, now stop being so cold with me.❞

You chuckled, scrunching your nose as you ate your ice cream. Looking back up at him, you smiled the cutest smile he had ever seen,❝Well thank you, Kim Doyoung.❞

Ignoring the fluttering in his chest, he cleared his throat. ❝Do you--❞ he started, ❝Do you maybe want to go swimming with me, tonight?❞

You considered the offer for a while. Going swimming with your crush? Alone? Just the two of you? Who were you to deny such an offer? So you said, ❝Yes.❞

And he smiled again, and you fell a bit deeper. Not knowing that you were getting close to the bottom of the hole, and the fall hurt.

4. W E  W E N T  S W I M M I N G  I N
A N  O U T D O O R  P O O L

DOYOUNG'S VOICE pulled your attention towards him. He was staring at you with a concerned look on his face, his arms on your shoulders as he inched closer to you. ❝So you ready?❞ he asked.

❝Yes, I am.❞ You nodded, getting into the pool while holding on to him. His face painted with worry, making you more nervous than you already were. ❝You know you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I don't mind--❞ he started only to get cut off by you.❝I am just fine, I know I am. Just help me a bit.❞ He hesitated but agreed in the end.

❝Don't worry about your brother finding out, I won't tell a soul at school.❞ He assured you, still holding on to you as he helped you with your swimming.

❝Yeah, that's cool. I trust you❞ You told him.

❝Good then, just relax. You're fine.❞

It was a bit awkward at first but as you got the hang of it after a while, the atmosphere became lighter. Now you and Doyoung were playing around, splashing water at each other as chatted and bickered, innocent touches here and there.

Maybe it was because of your crush on him, but Doyoung looked ethereal to you. His pale milky skin and dark eyes seemed as if they were shining under the moonlight, his chest close to yours, his face didn't have a single blemish and you were both jealous of it and admired it at the same time.

And on the other hand, Doyoung couldn't stop staring at you either. They way your jawline flexed when you smiled, your dimples popped up and your eyes turned into crescents. Your brother was going to kill him for this but that's something to worry about later.

Doyoung caught your eyes and came closer, his bare arms wrapped around your figure as he slowly backed you against the corner of the pool, your face extremely close to his.

You knew just what was about to happen but you didn't know how it was happening, or why. Doyoung had showed no interest in you in that way so why was he leaning in? Despite your obvious crush on him, you found yourself frozen, wanting to lean in but not doing it. He was your brother's best friend for crying out loud, this will never end up well.

❝Y/n . . .❞ You could feel his breath on your lips, his eyes focused on yours, asking for permission.

❝Can I?❞

Doyoung expected you to shove him away, he expected a slap too obviously cause what the actual fuck was he doing? But it never came. He got your permission instead.

And his lips slowly touched yours, moving softly, he didn't do much and neither did you but Doyoung could swear this was the sweetest kiss he had ever had. And as for you, you had made the right choice in giving your first kiss to him. Because you couldn't possibly have anything better than this.

That was when you decided to confess. It was now or never.

❝Doyoung,❞ you leaned away, looking him in the eyes as you got ready to make either the best or the worst decision of your life. ❝I like you.❞

He sucked in a deep breathe. He knew this was coming and he knew it was going to break your heart- and that was when he pulled away, completely. He wouldn't do that to you, he wouldn't play along and break your heart when you're already in too deep.

❝Well, you can't.❞ And so he decided to leave, leaving you with your feelings out in the open, cold and hurt.

You had hit the bottom.

1. B U T  I  D O N 'T  S W I M,
A N D  Y O U ' R E  N O T  I N  L O V E

YOU HAD forgotten to count the number of steps it took you to reach school today but you were sure it was more than 375 because it felt like an eternity had passed.

Time seemed to have slowed down and it was almost as if everything was in slow motion. That was how tired you were. Your brain wasn't functioning properly and you couldn't exactly blame it, for you were the one that stayed up the entire night, bawling your eyes out.

You've heard that confessing to the person you liked always made people feel better, even if they weren't liked back. Your best friend had told you that it feels like you are finally free from what was holding you back and you have nothing to lose to that person anymore, you didn't have to put up a front.

And whilst all of that was true, the embarrassment and humiliation you felt from what happened the night before overshadowed all your other feelings.

Why did you even open your damn mouth? stupid y/n. Should have kept quiet and enjoyed the kiss.

You winced at the strong voice inside your head. It definitely wasn't helping you feel any better right now.

When you arrived at school, your brother had run up to you, bombarding you with questions about why you had walked to school today and why you were out late last night.

You had successfully ran from his questions yesterday but you didn't have a place to run to now, so you hung your head and stood in silence. Doyoung was right beside him of course, and he hadn't bothered to spare you a glance as he took his books out from his locker and headed towards his classroom, dragging your brother with him.

You were thankful for that but you really just felt like burying yourself six feet under the ground as you felt the eyes of other students on you. Shit, had Doyoung said something about last night?

Reaching your classroom, you went and sat beside your best friend who lifted an eyebrow at you, asking why you had arrived late to class. You shrugged it off and sat with your books in front of you, keeping quiet for a few minutes before your best friend spoke again.

❝Have you heard about your brother and Doyoung?❞ She asked, making you look at her with a confused face, ❝Heard what?❞

❝Oh it's nothing, I just thought you said your brother wasn't going to attend prom but he said today he is, he found a date and Doyoung too, it's the new senior.❞

Oh.

You swallowed, feeling your throat tighten. ❝Oh really?❞ you asked your friend, hoping to get 'no it's a rumor' as the answer.

❝Yeah, your brother was set up of course since that guy can't even approach someone, much less ask someone to be his date. But Doyoung? He brought roses and all and confessed today, it was so sweet.❞ She finished, ❝They might even win prom King and Queen.❞

Your grip on your pencil tightened, all the color had drained from your face and your friend's voice was hard to hear, it was just muffled noise. For a second, you felt your heart stop and you felt numb before quickly returning to normal again.

So this is how it felt.

You understood now.

All of it meant nothing to him, last night or the moments you spent before that, he was just simply toying with you. You were just another passing person in his life, someone he has played with and someone's heart he would forever be proud to break. Or maybe he didn't care enough to feel anything at all.

You felt horrible but then again, a part of you had always expected the outcome of this pathetic little crush you had on him. You were his best friend's sister after all and that's what you would ever be. All of it would lead to nothing in the end.

You are a girl he only kissed once, and nothing changed at all.

Doyoung wtf- ✋😃

Author's note : I finally wrote something after a month of writer's block and moping and procrastinating and shitting. Hello peeps.

Outdoor Pool is a song by Masie Peters which is where I got the inspiration from. It's basically a song about a girl getting kissed by her crush(?) when they go swimming in an outdoor pool and the next day, he is pulling the same BS and nothing is going like the girl expected it to, nothing changed. It was the same old routine and the outdoor pool kiss was unspoken of.

That's basically what the story is about too.

Y/n is 15, and Doyoung is 18 here. Yes, the age gap is intentional even tho it's . . . ahem. He was the first one to get a driver's license so obviously he won't be 15 too. Plus, besides having a best friend's sister-brother's best friend relationship, the age gap would be the main thing holding them apart since Doyoung doesn't want to catch a case of course. So it just makes more sense.

Adios.