"Get out my face Nalani," Kyzion mumbled with his back facing her, his right hand in his sweats and resting on top of his boxers.

"Why are you going to sleeeep?" She dragged out, reaching around to put her phone in his face, seeing that his eyes were closed.

"Why else do people go to sleep? Because I'm tired, duh." He muttered, cracking a smile once she laughed.

Nalani chuckled as the video ended with her climbing on top of him, most likely about to continue to annoy him.

She wiped the tear that fell from her face as she swiped over to the next video, but instead came across a picture of Kyzion sleeping-joining over a hundred other photos of him in her phone.

It was currently Monday morning, and it was a bit too early for her to be so wide awake-literally nearing five in the morning.

She couldn't help it though. Kyzion was on her mind heavily in this moment, and she couldn't deny how badly she missed him. How ironic-missing him when the whole reason they broke up was because she missed Sinclair. That was definitely karma back to bite her in the ass.

In her heart, she knew that she wanted to be with Kyzion. There was no doubt about that. Even with how different he was, he was everything she wanted and more. Unfortunately, her mind was so stuck on what she was used to.

The constant battle between how she felt and what she thought was right, was constantly putting her in situations where she regretted everything.

This last week with Sinclair had been so good-literally what she'd wanted before she grew a liking to Kyzion. He had kept her on her toes, beaming with happiness since the day she'd went to his house to tell him she missed him.

Something in her was telling her that she was just enjoying him more because she was trying to force herself to get over Kyzion-the same thing she'd did when she was trying to get over Sinclair.

As she laid there in her bed, surrounded by her thoughts in the dark, things were suddenly starting to become more clear for her.

First off, she realized that this wasn't Sinclair's nor Kyzion's fault. Going back and forth between the two was completely on her, and she was hindering herself from better by steadily being stuck on the past.

She was so busy still holding on to the hope of what her and Sinclair could be, when Kyzion was everything that she wanted. She'd literally figured that out a few weeks ago, but she just pushed it to the back of her head because of the ongoing war between her heart and her mind.

She was realizing that she was the problem. Maybe she didn't deserve either of them. It wasn't fair that they were both being dragged along with her because she wanted to get the best of both worlds.

Nalani snapped from her thoughts as she was pulled closer to Sinclair, and she carefully turned off her phone, going still so that he didn't wake up.

She could feel how slow his breathing was against her body as he held her, and his large hand glided down her back until it rested right above her ass.

She quietly sniffed, warming her body up in his embrace while tilting her head back so that she could look up at him.

A smile graced her face as he leaned his head down, nuzzling it into her neck, and a few seconds later she could feel him leaving small kisses on her skin.

"You crying?" His voice rasped, even deeper than normal since he'd just woken up.

"Yes. I was going to sneak out but..you're awake..so.." She humorously shrugged, listening to him chuckle.

He sat up in the bed, and she did as well, letting him pick her up as he stood to his feet. She laid her head on his shoulder as he carried her to the bathroom, and a few seconds later they both began their morning routines.

When they were done, they ended up back in Nalani's bed, wrapped up in one another's body warmth once again.

"So, you gone tell me who he is now?" Sinclair asked as he rubbed her thigh that was thrown across his bare waist.

Nalani pondered on if she actually wanted to tell him, knowing the type of man he was. Then again, the two had really grown closer as friends lately, and she knew that regardless of all else, he just wanted her to be happy-even if that was with someone else.

"It's Kazi." She mumbled, and he looked down at her, his eyebrows immediately furrowing.

"Kazi? Like, Ms.Amanda son, Kazi?" He asked, and she nodded with a chuckle.

"And don't say nothing bad about my man cause I'ma go to war for it." She looked up at him, and he laughed, making her do the same-though she was serious.

"Damnnnn. Damn. Shit, I don't even know what to say. How the fuck that happen Lani?" He was genuinely confused, and she shrugged in response.

"I don't even know to be honest. That shit happened so fast, it's like a blur. All I know is that I been happy with him. He's fun to be around." She chuckled, rubbing his tattooed chest.

"Yeah? Was you with him when we was still together?" He rose an eyebrow, and she shook her head no.

"I did go on a friendly date with him when we were together, but it didn't last long-maybe like five minutes. That was it though. I didn't actually pursue him until after we broke up." She revealed, and he slowly nodded his head, processing the information.

"You fucking on him?" He asked another question, and she smacked her lips, sitting up on the side of him.

"What? I can't ask?" He smirked, laughing at the blank expression that she wore.

"No, I haven't fucked him yet. You don't think you would've noticed if I had?" She tilted her head, and he shrugged.

"Not really. I don't even be able to tell that I fucked you. That pussy still as good as it was when we took each other virginity." He chuckled, and she laughed, rolling her eyes.

"You're so corny. Anyways, I haven't even gave him head yet. He gave it to me though, and boy let me tell you, I had a fucking blas-,"

"I will break yo fuckin' face right here, right now." He cut her off, and she busted out laughing while he smacked his lips.

"Like damn, I know we ain't together and shit but don't tell me no shit like that man." He chuckled, mushing her head as she still laughed.

"I'm sorry stink. I won't brag about getting ate out ever again." She laid across his chest, and he rolled his eyes at her.

"I sound like a hoe right now. Talking about my new man with my babydaddy. Ugh. I hate my life." She groaned in annoyance at herself, and he laughed.

"I don't know why I ain't snapped yo' fuckin' neck yet." He chuckled, running his hand down his face.

"Yeah, me neither." She shrugged with ease, turning to lay on her back, her head resting sideways on his stomach.

"I really just feel like ain't no point of still tryna win you back, you feel me? Like we outgrew each other, and that's okay. Growth ain't always fun, but sometimes it's necessary. I should've realized my mistakes a lot sooner." He rubbed her collarbone, speaking genuinely.

"Just because we outgrew each other doesn't mean I'll leave your life though. We're still best friends. I loved you more than I did myself at one point, so it's not like I'm just gonna treat you like a stranger or anything." She put her hand over his to hold it, and he rubbed his thumb over her fingers.

He brought her hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it, and she turned her head to look at him.

"I love you so much. I don't want you to ever forget that Sinclair." She mumbled, and he leaned his head down, pressing his lips against her cheek.

"You know what it is with me. I love your whole life." He kissed her jaw next, and she smiled as he pulled back.

Sinclair and her would never work in a romantic state again. The category that he fit in for the love of her life was strictly platonic. He would forever be her best friend, no matter what; but it was time for them both to move on. All they were doing was holding each other back.

Love was a very hard thing to grasp, even for a neuro-typical like Nalani. She thought it was an easy concept to understand, but it was actually far from that, and more so close to being one of the most confusing things ever.

Understanding where she stood with Sinclair was officially the first step in the right direction. She didn't plan on going back to him this time because she was tired of going down that same road with the bare minimum of change.

There were greater things out there in the world for her, and she was ready to stop ruining those things for a spark that was no longer there.

And she was finally okay with that.

"Girl, it's six in the damn morning." Amanda whispered, closing her robe tighter around her body after opening her front door.

"I know. I'm so sorry. I really need to talk to Kazi." She mumbled, and Amanda took notice of the tears on her face-the tears that reminded her of the ones she saw on Kyzion's face yesterday, the first time she'd ever seen him cry as an adult.

Amanda stepped to the side while gesturing her into the house, then closed and locked the door as Nalani quietly made her way upstairs.

She blew out a silent breath as she twisted Kyzion's doorknob, and closed it behind her once she was inside.

Her attention shifted to his bed that was perfectly made up, and she walked past it, heading for his walk in closet.

Kyzion preferred to be in tightly enclosed spaces whenever he wasn't feeling okay or was close to an episode, because it made him feel safe. He wasn't sure where it came from, but doing so always calmed him down.

"Go away Ama, I'm fine." He mumbled when he heard the closet door open, his face laying on his arms that were currently wrapped around his legs, lightly rocking himself back and forth.

"I said I'm f-," He paused mid-sentence after lifting his head up, laying eyes on Nalani, adjusting to her figure in the dimmed light of his closet.

He almost got lost in a trance at seeing her in front of him after an entire week of zero communication, but he couldn't deny being upset, even though he was mostly sad.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in genuine confusion.

"Baby I-,"

"Really Nalani? Don't call me that." He frowned at her, and she sighed, biting the inside of her cheek so that she didn't cry.

She hated how easy it was for her to cry because she wasn't the victim in this situation. She couldn't help the way that her emotions always got the best of her though.

"Kyzion I know t-I'm sorry, okay? There's so much that I can say that can try to explain what I did but I don't want to keep playing victim when I know this is my fault."

"I've been so confused lately, and instead of directly figuring shit out I just did what I wanted and didn't regard anybody's feelings besides mine, and I'm so sorry. I don't know how to excuse any of of this shit, and I can't even sit here and lie like I didn't realize what I was doing."

"What I do know, is that I love you, okay? I love you so much, and I didn't want to believe it at first because it was so new to me. And you are so perfect to me, I literally don't deserve you Kazi." She paused, wiping underneath her eye after a tear escaped.

"I'm such a hypocrite man." She sniffed, not even knowing how to continue. She was so disappointed in herself for doing Kyzion the same way Sinclair had did her.

"I'm so sorry baby. I can't believe I did that to you and I-I thought that I was d-," She halted again, stumbling over her own words from how fast she was talking.

"You don't have to rush. It's okay, I'm listening to you." He mumbled, and she pouted at how softly he spoke to her. She felt so bad for how she did him.

"It's not okay. I fucked up Kyzion. I don't know what made me do it, and I don't know how to explain it either. But I love you, so much. I won't make the same mistake of losing you twice, okay? Just d-don't leave me please. That's so selfish of me to ask, but I need you." Her voice cracked, playing with the tips of her acrylic nails.

Kyzion reached over to wrap his arms around her, and she began crying on his shoulder, immediately hugging him back.

"I love you too. Please don't cry." He rubbed her back, attempting to soothe her soft cries. He hated seeing people cry, especially her.

"I'm not mad, okay? I forgive you. Just don't cry Nalani, please?" He kissed the side of her face after pulling her to be in his lap, trying to wipe her tears away.

"I don't know why I left you Kazi. I'm so so sorry." She sniffed, hating how emotional she was. Literally everything made her cry, and when it was as serious as this, she bawled like a full on baby.

"Well you don't have to be sad anymore because you apologized, so now we can work on fixing it, okay? You don't have to be sad." He rubbed her face, and her heart melted. He was too sweet for his own good.

"I'm sorry too, for breaking up with you. I should've talked it all out with you to completely understand your feelings, but I-I was jealous. I didn't want you to leave me for him, and then when I figured that's what you were probably doing, I tried pushing you away before it could happen." He admitted, a small frown on his face as he stared at her.

"I like you Nalani. I just wanted you to myself so I kind of rushed you into the relationship with me and I'm sorry. I didn't realize." He reached for the band on his wrist, and she put her hand over his before he could.

"Can we just start over? I promise to do it right this time, okay? I can do better." He mumbled, holding the side of his head, and she carefully removed that hand as well.

"This is on me, okay? I did it. It's not your fault Kazi." She assured, seeing the start of an episode, and he looked at her as his expression softened.

"Yes it is because I think I was jealous and I was scared; but I didn't mean to, I promise. Shit I-," He cursed, becoming upset with himself as his head pulsed with a throbbing headache.

"I love you. It's okay Kyzion, nothing's wrong." She held his hands, watching as he slowly stopped moving, sighing to himself.

He defeatedly laid his head on her shoulder, and she rubbed his back, letting him know that she was there for him, and she didn't plan on leaving him any time soon.

This bitch cry so much she starting to make me mad. Also, you are all racist. What are y'all on? A Kai hate train?