Back at the coffee shop, Christmas music was playing overhead as background noise. You leaned on the counter, letting out a small sigh. The snow had been piling up more and more, making you nervous for travels back home since fall semester was about to end.

"Hey," Porco threw a towel at your head and you turned around, greeted by his smile.

"You good?" He asked and you shrugged, picking up the towel off the ground and throwing it into the dirty bucket beneath the counter.

"What's wrong?" He tilted his head a bit as his smile turned downward into a frown, his eyes narrowing in concern.

You really admired the way Porco cared for you. In a sense, he was like a brother, always worried and always protective. It was crazy you barely knew him at the beginning of the semester. Before you could even respond, you heard someone come in and turned your head around.

You froze.

Porco noticed the sudden tension in your body, his gaze flicking to the person that had just walked in. "Y/N, who is that?" His voice low.

For some reason, Floch had just entered the coffee shop. He was staring at you with those eyes, a blank expression on his face, one you didn't recognize. He wasn't usually like that.

Floch walked up to the counter, but as he approached, you stepped back. You didn't want to, but you couldn't help it. He still scared you.

"Y/N...?" Porco murmured again but you ignored him, your jaw clenched shut. You weren't sure if you could open it.

"One black coffee, please," Floch spoke up, sliding some cash your way.

Your gaze finally left him and flicked down to the crinkled bills. Slowly, you reached out to take them, afraid that Floch would grab your hand. But he didn't.

You put the cash in the drawer and glanced over at Porco, giving him a small nod that you were fine. He went to get the coffee.

"What do you want?" You finally said something to Floch, wondering why he couldn't just leave you alone.

"You said your piece, now you hear mine," Floch stared at you, intense brown eyes forcing you to hold the gaze. You hated it.

"I don't want-"

"Listen. Just...listen to me," he closed his eyes for a second before looking back at you, his expression a mix of guilt and pain.

You shut your mouth.

"When we were dating, I was stupid. I was a stupid teenage boy. I know that's no excuse, but growing up how I did, with how my dad treated my mom and I, it was the only way I understood what love was. I didn't know it any other way. And then I met you, and I just had this...this feeling inside of me that'd I'd never had before. And I was afraid I was going to lose it, to lose you. And I didn't want that. So I became controlling...and I hurt you. And I lost you. I'm not here to receive your forgiveness or expect anything from you, but I am here to apologize. I am here to take responsibility for my actions, because when I lost you, I realized how badly I'd messed up. I saw who I was becoming and I hated it. I really did. Y/N, I did love you, I just loved you the wrong way."

You sucked in a breath, the silence in the coffee shop making you want to scream. Floch was taking responsibility for his actions, something you never expected him to do. You thought he just wanted you back, you thought his previous apology was a way to get you back in his arms. But this? The way he was acting...it was different.

"Everything okay?" Porco arched a brow as you looked over at him, the black coffee in his hand.

"Everything's fine," you plastered a smile on your face, taking the coffee from Porco and handing it over to Floch.

"One black coffee to go," your voice was tight as your throat closed up, but you blinked away the tears.

"Right...thank you," Floch replied, and with that, he left, the sound of the door shutting forcing you to release a breath you hadn't realized you'd been holding in.

"Y/N, who was that?"

"No one. Absolutely no one."

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"Floch came to the coffee shop today," you announced as you tossed your backpack to the ground, Connie's eyes whipping up to meet yours.

He was sitting on the couch with a blanket over him, a thick notebook in his lap, probably studying for the upcoming finals you'd all have to take. Connie set everything aside and bolted over to you, cupping your face in his hands as his warm, honey gaze searched your own.

"Did he hurt you? What happened?"

"Nothing happened," you placed your hands over his, your heart beating. You still couldn't believe what Floch had said.

"Nothing?" Connie's eyebrows furrowed at that, not exactly believeing you, but he didn't press.

"Nothing," you whispered and gently removed his hands from your face, walking past him as you flopped down onto the couch.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"I think so..." That's the thing, you weren't sure how to answer that question. A slew of emotions were coursing through your veins right now, your thoughts racing.

Connie sat down beside you and you reached for the blanket, placing it over the both of you. It was cold in his place, it always was.

Connie was about to say something when the door opened, revealing Marco and Jean walking in, laughing about something. They were carrying grocery bags.

"I'm just joking," Marco laughed, a twinkle in his eyes as he leaned forward and gave Jean a quick kiss on the lips.

Jean leaned forward again but before he could start making out with Marco in front of you two, Connie cleared his throat, causing the two boys to jump.

"For fuck's sake, why are you guys always so quiet?" Jean hissed, a blush creeping up on his cheeks as Marco just laughed.

"What are you guys up to?" Marco waggled his eyebrows, although, his expression fell when he read your uneasy gaze.

"Did something happen?" Marco looked to Connie, who then looked over at you.

"Floch ambushed me again and now..." What now? What were you supposed to do?

"Next time I see him, I'm gonna kill him. That guy is such a creep," Jean muttered as he started to put the groceries away, Marco's jaw clenching in anger.

"Get in line," Connie scoffed, running a hand through his short hair. He seemed nervous, so you reached for his hand and squeezed it.

"What did you say to him?" Marco walked into the living room and sat down on the lazy boy, leaning towards you.

"Nothing."

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You were lying on Connie's bed. You decided to stay here tonight. You contemplated skipping classes and holing yourself up in Connie's room. You knew Sasha would be worried, but right now, you were too scared to go out, to even check your phone. Floch was everywhere.

You sat up, throwing the covers off and heading for the bathroom. Flicking the light on, you stared at yourself in the mirror. You analyzed yourself.

Floch had loved you. Floch had touched you, kissed you. Floch had marked you as his own. And the more you stared at yourself, the more you saw what Floch had taken—what he had owned. The more you hated yourself. You hated that you had ever let him believe you were beautiful. You hated it all.

You hated what you looked like. Everything about yourself was ugly, and it was all because of him. Staring at the mirror, you could hardly recognize yourself anymore.

How could anyone have let this happen to them? How could anyone have been so stupid?

"Y/N," a knock at the door. Connie's voice.

You took a breath, tore your gaze away from the mirror and stepped out of the bathroom.

"...Are you okay? Don't lie to me," Connie breathed, his voice low and quiet. It broke your heart.

"Connie, I don't know if I'll ever be okay."

Silence.

"What do you need? What can I do to help?" Connie's voice sounded so strained. You hated hearing him sound like that, hated how so worried he was over you. It wasn't fair to him. He'd been through so much worse. You should've been helping him.

You grabbed his hand and lead him back to his room, shutting the door. You stepped towards him, your bodies at least a foot away from one another. Your heart beat quickened, and you felt something take over you.

In the darkness, you closed your eyes, taking a breath before opening them again.

"All I want, is you," you breathed and grabbed Connie's waistband with your hand, pulling him forward as you crushed your lips to his, needing him, wanting him.

He seemed to understand as he met your urgency, his soft lips suddenly rough against yours. This kiss wasn't one you were used to. This wasn't you, but you didn't care.

You didn't care.

And just like that, the foundation split in half— it crumbled.

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a/n: hey all! we're nearing the end of this book! thank you all so much for staying with me and reading and for over 50k reads! this truly has been a journey and i'm grateful for all the kind words. i'm working on being a better writer for you all, so i hope this chapter is satisfactory :)

with love,

ocean 💜