You felt uncomfortable the whole dinner. Of course you aquired names to faces, but Connie was set on being your number one enemy the whole night.

"You called Connie a beanpole?" Marco was smiling as he said it, his whole face illuminating that he was impressed with the insult.

Jean let out a monstrous laugh. He looked over at Connie and put his hands up together, leaving only an inch of space between them.

"Look at me! I'm Connie Springer and I think I have muscles!" He mocked and Connie's whole face turned beet red.

"At least I don't look like a horse," he muttered and that shut Jean up immediately. You guessed the joke was a pretty sensitive one, a touchy subject not worth asking about.

At that Eren let out a chuckle and said, "I can't believe that's still a joke."

"It's because it's true," Niccolo bluntly replied, picking at whatever was left on his plate.

Jean's charming and playful demeanor quickly vanished as he sat in complete silence.

"At least you're not bald like Connie is," you completely froze. Did I just say that out loud? you thought and felt everyone staring at you, especially Connie.

"Damn Y/N, for as quiet as you are, you're merciless," Eren drew in a breath, waving his one oh his hands in the air like he'd just been stung.

"Connie you deserved it, you called Jean a horse," Sasha shrugged and you could see Jean holding in a laugh.

"You know what, if you wanna go there, we can go there," Connie folded his hands together and narrowed his gaze onto you.

"Connie-" Marco started but he ignored him.

"You've been Sasha's roommate for a whole semester and haven't even given her the time of day. And now you're here, eating with us and throwing insults around like you're our friend. Don't just think that you can waltz in here and-"

"Connie!" Sasha hissed, her brown eyes blazing with anger. The whole table was quiet now.

You sat there, feeling everyone's eyes on you. You could feel the judgement, whether or not it was true. You blinked your eyes before setting your fork down. Someone cleared their throat, possibly to help relieve the sudden tension that pulled taut between you and Connie.

The words had stung like a wasp, and you felt the anger inside your chest grow as a burning sensation began at the pit of your stomach. You agreed your joke crossed a line, but that didn't give him the right to insult your character without knowing you.

"You're right, I'm not your friend," you started and placed your hands to rest on your lap, hoping to hide the fact that they were clenched into fists before saying, "but at least I'm not a sensitive dick."

"Oh! So I'm a dick now for calling you out? Is that what this is? I thought we were just having fun, but if you so obviously can't take it then you shouldn't dish it out and you shouldn't be—," he started to retort when Sasha gave him a glare that would send chills up your spine if ever directed towards you.

You stared at Connie as anger was replaced with anxiety—the feeling of being unwanted. You looked around and noticed how everyone was silent, awkwardly avoiding your gaze. You could see the small looks they gave one another and you couldn't tell if it was pity or agreement that they shared. But to you, Connie was right. These weren't your friends and they had no obligation to be on your side.

"I think I should go," you murmured and silently excused yourself, grabbing your things and ignoring Sasha's small pleas to have you stay.

"I'll see you back at the dorm. It was nice meeting you all. Sorry for tonight," you spoke briskly before leaving the table as fast as you could, letting that heavy feeling that had been growing finally weigh you down.

"Look at what you did!" You heard Sasha hiss once you left, and every bone in your body screamed not to look back, but you did. Normalcy was restored, but Connie's eyes were locked on you, ignoring a scolding Sasha.

You held his gaze for a moment, expecting to see triumph, but instead found something else. He almost looked sorry but broke eye contact before you could decipher his feelings. Turning your head back around, you bee-lined for the entrance.

Once outside, the heavy feeling seemed to drag at your heart, pulling it below to let it drown with the anxieties of being unwanted. You felt your eyes sting with tears but you shook your head, focusing on your breathing. You told yourself that you were not going to cry. This wasn't a big deal, this wasn't something worth being upset about. You just had to roll it off your back like you did with everything else and you'd be fine. You always were.

"Y/N?" You stopped in your tracks. Someone had followed you? The voice wasn't male and it wasn't Sasha, so it had to be the one other female there—Mikasa.

You blinked a couple of times, wondering what you should do before deciding to turn around and face Mikasa. She was a few feet away, looking at you with her intense eyes.

"Look, Connie didn't mean what he said back there-"

"Oh, I'm not bothered by it, I promise," you smiled it off and crossed your arms over your chest.

"It actually seemed like you were...are you okay?" She tilted her head a bit, hoping to get an answer from you.

"Yeah, I'm fine,"

"Honest?"

"Honest," you shook your head up and down, burying the negative feelings you had.

There was some silence between the two of you and Mikasa turned to go, but she stopped before taking a few more steps towards you. You noticed the slight hesitation in her eyes and you knew what she was going to say.

"You know, there is some truth to what Connie said, even if he said it in the wrong way. Sasha always told us you and her never really became friends, but I'm glad you two are trying now. Just...don't take what Connie said to heart, he's just protective of her...she's kind of the only family he has left," Mikasa's gray eyes stared at you like two heavy stones. You could feel all the weight given in that last sentence.

Connie had no family? you thought as you just subtly nodded your head at what Mikasa told you. You were beginning to feel some sort of tug for Connie, like pity. But you pushed the feeling away, not wanting to feel sorry for someone who clearly hated you.

"Everything alright out here?" You jumped at the new addition to the enclosed space you'd created with Mikasa, watching Jean walk up to you two.

"Oh, yeah, we're good!" You nervously chuckled and fiddled with your keys, hoping no one else from the group was going to come outside too.

"I'm sorry if I made things awkward in there...that was all my fault. I'm sure I've ruined my chances for being friends at all, really," you let your nerves get the best of you as you began to ramble on now, something you utterly hated about yourself.

"I don't know, I like you," Jean spoke up, seeming to sense your anxiety from the situation. His lips twisted into a friendly smirk as he placed his hands into his pockets. Mikasa seemed to silently agree with a smile.

"We all like you," Sasha came up from behind Jean with a trailing Connie behind her. Your cheeks flushed from all the attention, not sure how you felt about all of this. Connie avoided your gaze but Sasha cast another chilling glare his way.

"I'm sorry for being a dick." He apologized.

"I'm sorry for being one too," you replied and crossed your arms over your chest. The cloud of awkwardness that formed around you two began to suffocate your lungs. Someone needed to do something.

Sasha jabbed his side and he yelped silently, narrowing his gaze at her as she whispered something at him. With a sigh that made his shoulders sag, he rolled his eyes before extending his hand.

"Truce?" Connie physically looked like he was in pain, and seeing him like that made your lips twitch in amusement. You smirked and took his hand, inviting the warmth of it into your cold palm.

"Truce."

————————————————

A/N:

i meant to have this at the end when i published the chapter, whoops! first of all, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING MY BOOK! it means the world to me!! second of all, i just wanted to check in and see how i'm doing as a writer. are there things i should change? things i should add? i want this book to be good since it is made for all of you. i am open to your suggestions! i have written the first 8 chapters already, but i've been tweaking them and changing things as i proofread. all in all, i hope you've enjoyed the book so far! thank you!

-ocean