𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 ╱ life without you

     When Sayuri awoke with a start, the first thing she noticed was the blinding sun. The second was a face directly in front of hers. The boy she remembers as Murata was watching closely and made some noise like a squeak when Sayuri's eyes opened.

     "Sayuri! You're awake!"

     "Hmm... what happened? Where's Giyuu and Sa-" Oh. The memories answered her questions far too fast, bringing forth all the emotions she'd been unable to experience when succumbed to slumber. Murata squawks when Sayuri brings him crashing to the ground in a desperate and longing embrace. Her ugly tears and sniffles wet his shoulder, but the agony wrenched from the young girl was enough to make them seem like the smallest problem at the moment.

     The other contestants, everyone besides Sabito, look over with guilt. Word spread fast about someone who spent the last seven days protecting the entirety of the Final Selection. The boy who dragged Giyuu and Sayuri away couldn't even make eye contact in guilt, because what had he done except be a nuisance?

     "Sayuri." Murata pushes the brunette back and points to their left. Sayuri wipes her nose and eyes, following Murata's finger to Giyuu. Perhaps even the ghost of Giyuu, with that far-off and dull look in his eyes. There was no sparkle to them anymore as he clutched Sabito's bloody haori close to his chest. A bandage was wrapped tight around his head along with multiple on his shoulder, and he stood like a trembling leaf in the wind.

     "Sayuri I'm sorry..." Giyuu starts, voice heavy with guilt, "-I should've done more. I didn't- I should be de-"

     "Please don't," Sayuri's head was spinning with how fast she scrambled to her feet, a thousand pounds wishing to force her back onto the ground. This wasn't the time to worry about that, because the one she considered a brother was insisting he was the cause of Sabito's death. As if a giant demon with much higher status compared to the rest of the demons within Final Selection hadn't appeared to tear them apart.

     In Sayuri's arms, Giyuu stayed silent despite his shaking fingers clutching deep into the fabric of her clothing. Sabito's haori still remained in his grasp and became a part of the hug that said a thousand words neither could express. Guilt, comfort, lingering trepidation. What were they going to do now?

     "Welcome back everyone," The twins from the beginning of the selection arrive at the same location as before, in front of the surviving crowd. The table behind them was covered with a purple cloth over some lumpy figures. Giyuu and Sayuri separate from one another, still holding hands, as they listen to the final part of the last hellish week.

     "-And congratulations." The white-haired child speaks calmly, void of any emotion or even thought from those circling purple irises. Then the black-haired male begins his turn, once again going back and forth,

     "We are pleased to see you safe."

     "We now must issue you all uniforms, we'll start by taking your measurements. Next, your rank will be engraved on the back of your hand. For your reference, there are ten ranks in total-"

     They begin to list off each of them, Sayuri partially zoned out upon hearing that they would be engraved upon their skin. Would that not hurt? If everyone was starting off at the lowest rank, Mizunoto, did that mean it'd have to be re-marked every time they moved up status?

     "It's painless," Giyuu whispers, though unable to make eye contact with anything but the floor. Sayuri breathes out the building tension at his reassurance. Partially because of the marking process, but the other because Giyuu was still able to comfort her despite looking so awfully defeated.

     Before revealing the table behind the twins, other members of the Demon Slayer Corps begin to enter the wisteria clearing. Most of older age, who didn't fight but rather tended to wounded slayers or simply assist in any way they could. Each contestant shuffles to one of the people to get their measurements taken for uniforms that'd arrive after they were properly sewn. Sayuri overhears some of the females asking for fully clothed uniforms, and questions the woman working on her uniform,

     "Excuse me, ma'am, what will my uniform look like?"

     "Ah yes! A skirt, and if you'd like we could cut out the front as we've done for some other members of the Corps! There are many possibilities!"

     Sayuri's face heats up in an instant, assuming everything would spill out the moment she decided to twist or bend for an attack. Even Giyuu had pink cheeks beside her, though he had no other indications of emotion. Was his head injury making him feel faint? He was very pale.

      "Uh... Umm, could I have the regular design? For more coverage..." Sayuri twists her fingers and keeps an eye on Giyuu while he gets measured himself. When the woman seems flabbergasted at this request, she pulls the beaten haori away from her bruised collarbone,

     "I'd like this to stay hidden. It's a mistake of the past," Her fingers trace the ridges of the red mark with sagging shoulders. This time was different than the last, as no one chided her or became hostile. The measurer only smiles,

      "Of course deary. I've worked with the Corps all my life, and I detect no murderer in you."

     Then why did I let Sabito stay?

     "Ahem, did I sound too brash?" The woman teeters on her feet, tucking a small piece of paper into her satchel, "I'm all finished, unless you have any other requests?"

     "Oh, no. The uniform will be tight enough to put this haori over comfortably?"

     "Yes, though isn't that a bit... past its expiration date?"

     It may have seemed like that to an outside glance, Sayuri told herself as she grasped at the torn fabric that had once been a light cream, now smothered in blood and dirt. It would be salvageable. She was a Fukunaga after all.

     "I promised the elder who made this I'd take great care of it. I can fix it up myself."

     "Very well. You are set to get your engraving."

     Sayuri bows in thanks before moving over to the line forming near the twins, who were using the wisteria in order to put the ranking on everyone's hands. Giyuu once again was by her side quietly, swaying ever-so-slightly. Sayuri sets her hand on his shoulder to ease any potential dizziness from that head injury, barely aware of her own. She was more bruised than anything, bandages snug around her neck to cover the worst.

     After a couple of minutes, they are each standing in front of a twin, getting the wisteria flower engraving. The process didn't make much sense, but then again this was a world where demons rampaged through towns and tore apart families. Sayuri chose to ignore the oddness of the process, returning to an empty spot where they'd wait for the next set of instructions. 

     "In a moment, you will be given the chance to select the ore that will be used to pour your swords."

     "However, it will be 10-15 days before the weapons are ready for you."

     "But first-" With the clap of their hands, loud cawing can be heard from the sky as multiple crows begin to descend to the chosen slayer. Giyuu flinches at the first sweep of his crow, but pets it kindly after it settles on his shoulder.

     "Now that you're Demon Slayers, you must each be assigned your own Kasugai crow."

     "Miso!" For a moment, warmth seeps through the pain and weight of the last week, the bird who started it all fluttering excitedly around Sayuri's head. Calloused hands reach out for the animal, pulling him tight to her chest. Just like all that time ago in the rain. Miso shoves his head against Sayuri's chin contentedly, staying silent in respect of the ceremony occurring.

     "The Kasugai crows are primarily used to facilitate communication." As the last of the crows land and the children greet them, the twins remove the purple cloth on the table to reveal many different chunks of ore. This pulls the attention off of the birds, because the swords made from these rocks would turn into a magnificent katana special to each individual.

     "Now, the time has come. Please select the ore to use for your sword."

     "The steel you will use to protect yourself and annihilate countless demons will be that of your own choosing."

     All eyes fall on Giyuu and Sayuri, as the rest of the Final Selection allows the pair who ran with the kid saving them all to go first. Mostly out of respect for the dead, the rest because of their hard work. It was true that Sabito had killed every demon in the woods except for one. One who hadn't been brought up as an accident or even in apologies. Was that monster meant to keep Urokodaki's students away from the path of the Demon Slayers?

     With all the questions unable to be given answers, the two children walk guiltily up to the table of ore. They weren't this deserving, the thought of 'we shouldn't be here' clouded their minds. Sabito was the one who needed to be making the decision, the one who should've survived.

     "Please pick your ore. Do not burden yourself at this moment," The male of the twins speaks under his breath so that only Giyuu and Sayuri are able to listen. Their eyes both widen at this comment before nodding compliantly and reaching forth to grab two ores of similar makeup. If anything, they too were siblings.

     Their crows get the ore fastened to their legs via a cloth satchel, then depart once again to bring them to the blacksmiths. Giyuu's crow flies in the opposite direction of Miso, corrected by receiving a peck on its head and then following Sayuri's bird the right way.

      Now, it was time to go home. They'd have to return to Urokodaki without Sabito.

     The journey back was no small feat. Giyuu still sustained the fresh head injury that left him exhausted for long periods of time, while Sayuri ached so awfully she could only make it a few steps without having to catch her breath. The lack of words made it near unbearable, but what was there to say at a time like this? Returning to the man you were adopted by and missing one of the children he raised. Sabito was dead, and he'd never return again. 

     It was late into the night before the warm little cottage came into view, along with hesitation from either child wanting to be seen by Urokodaki. Surely he'd never forgive them for this. Letting someone die could never be excused, especially when the reason they entered the Final Selection was to protect others.

     "Giyuu, I don't think I can do this..." Sayuri whispers to the boy hanging onto her shoulders for support. Giyuu was wheezing out breathlessly from the steep incline of Sagiri Mountian, looking to the ground with a similar feeling. Yet... home was right there, fresh food and Urokodaki. A warm bath awaited their sore bodies if they'd just move.

     A sudden hit of pain in Sayuri brings her to her knees, Giyuu stumbling down after her. The seven days in the Selection weren't holding back on her if the strain was bringing her down so easily.

     Yeah, maybe she could do this.

     "Is that..." Two sets of eyes look up to their Sensei's tengu mask, the elder man opening the door to find the source of the ruckus, "-Where's Sabito?"

     "Sen-Sensei-" Sayuri didn't know what she was thinking, attempting to explain what had happened. But she supposed the ugly sobs falling from her mouth were enough to give it away. Giyuu freezes up with tears of his own, clenching his fists so tight they must've started bleeding. 

     Loving arms curl around them without hesitancy, the hard wood of Urokodaki's mask brushing against their hair. There were no words of hatred, only consoling rubs to their backs that slowly eased the crying to fluttery breaths. The man was clasping his children's dirty clothes as if Sayuri and Giyuu would float away from him at any moment,

     "Let's get you cleaned and fed."

     That night had been the hardest, but it wasn't as if things simply went away. After cleaning off all the dirt and grime, then getting settled into comfy clothing over a warm meal, Giyuu had gone straight to the room where he'd sit beside Sayuri as she wrote. Sabito's haori had been dragged along with him and he'd closed himself off for days after their arrival home.

     Whenever Sayuri would try to bring him food or comfort him, she never got a response from his still body. Late at night, she'd lay awake listening to his heartwrenching sniffles and little whys. Giyuu suffered greatly from the guilt of surviving when he'd done nothing (in his eyes) to help. When Sayuri heard him whisper 'I wish I died', she ran to Urokodaki so fast in fear of things getting too bad. Why couldn't Giyuu be mad... or even grateful he survived!? Sayuri was the one who'd let Sabito stay back, it wasn't as if Giyuu had made that decision. He'd even been the first to jump and save that kid.

     "Sayuri, he is grieving in his own way. I do not believe Giyuu would ever commit such an act." Urokodaki had told the girl. They were walking through a path in the woods to a small circle of rocks, the sunshine warming the spot of such wretched memories. A bird chirped overhead with a song of melancholy, perhaps understanding what this sight meant.

     "Why? He sounded so sure..." Sayuri placed the hand-picked bouquet of flowers in her hand upon Sabito's grave after pressing her lips to them. Her eyebrow furrowed, fighting back more tears, before looking back to her mentor. It seemed the retired Hashira had no worries,

     "He has you."

     After three more days of Giyuu hiding away and only eating meals that gave him the stamina to continue crying all through the night, Sayuri decides to make a move. When she peeks open the door to find him sleeping soundly, she tiptoes over to take Sabito's dirty haori which was still snuggled close to Giyuu. His eyelids were red and raw from so many shed tears, but Sayuri still couldn't help but wipe the ones falling fresh even in his slumber.

     That night she doesn't get any sleep, working her fingers and a needle with the precision she remembers her mother having. Every so often she'd pause and wonder if she was doing the right thing, and hope with all her might that Giyuu would feel better from it.

Her plan falls into action when Giyuu actually leaves his room the following morning to sit beside Sayuri for breakfast. His sullen stare burns into the food handed to him as he presses against his sister tiredly. Taking a few miserable bites and tossing the food around in his mouth, he builds up the energy to speak,

     "Where's Sabito's haori?"

     "Right! Be right back," Sayuri leaps to her feet and swiftly dips her head in excuse to Urokodaki before running off into a separate room. Giyuu watches her leave with a hand partially reaching in her direction, anxious to be sat alone with the other user of Water Breathing. He was sure Urokodaki believed Sabito should've been sitting in his spot right now, strong and able to do so much more than weak little Giyuu.

     "Why is Sayuri not sad anymore?" The boy questions, playing with the food in his bowl. Grief didn't leave in just a couple of days, so why was Yuri so energetic?

     "I believe she is trying to stay strong for the both of you. Sayuri visits Sabito's grave every day to talk for hours, perhaps you should join her sometime?"

     "Oh..." Giyuu takes a large bite to end the conversation. He knew his hiding away simply turned into a bigger burden and now he had to show his face because of a missing haori. It was embarrassing as much as it was disgraceful.

     "I've got it!" Two brunette tendrils of hair fly across the room with Sayuri speeding to her companion. The next thing she does is hold out a piece of clothing to give to Giyuu. The boy promptly swallows before his mouth hangs open with fresh tears stinging his puffy eyes. Only half of Giyuu's plain maroon haori remained, the other half substituted in by what could be salvaged from Sabito's. Two of the most important people in his life, Tsutako and Sabito, could be worn upon his shoulders.

     "You told me once about your sister, so I wanted to leave them both in the pattern. It doesn't clash too much, does it? I'm sure my parents would faint if they saw how bad this was... But I really tried! Oh no... please don't cry again!" Sayuri once again finds herself embracing Giyuu with all her might, rubbing his back to soothe the uneven breathing in his lungs. Did she end up making matters worse?

     "I love it, thank you Yuri," Giyuu sniffles and stretches to wipe his whimpers away.

     Once they separate, finish their breakfast, and Giyuu properly bathes and prepares himself for a fresh day, he sets the haori over his clothing. Deciding to leave the home after some time, he follows Sayuri out to Sabito's grave where the small circle sat. The flowers were half decomposed and sinking into the earth, but before coming here the children had picked fresh ones. Little lilies were situated before Sayuri and Giyuu sat in silence to commemorate and respect their fallen sibling. Things were going to get better, they'd be strong for Sabito.

     True to the twins' word, exactly 15 days had passed since Final Selection before the swaying wind jingled the bells of the swordsmith approaching the Urokodaki family. In this time, both Miso and Giyuu's crow, Kanzaburo, had returned from their travels. Miso had been quite annoyed with Kanzaburo throughout this time as he was old and apparently forgetful of what he was supposed to be doing. Both birds pecked at hollered at each other all throughout the day, consisting of much more unfriendly interactions compared to their Demon Slayers.

     Giyuu and Sayuri got better, they truly did, since they'd be useless to the Corps if they were only walking shells of who they used to be. Training started up again as Urokodaki had finally instructed after a week of nothing. Meditating, stretching, and racing across the hill had been like a blast to the considerably recent past. Everything was now without Sabito, the pair would come to learn, and it didn't mean they couldn't just give up what he died for.

     On the day of their departure, as bells chimed and alerted the homeowners of their guest, Giyuu and Sayuri hadn't said goodbye in the most ideal of ways. The air was light and the clean smell of spring lingered throughout the mountain, the new Demon Slayers practicing battle movements outside. Miso and Kanzaburo had been in flight all morning, yelling down when sighting the swordsmith,

     "Your swords are here! Your swords have arrived!"

     "Wha- So soon?" Sayuri pauses mid-movement, unfortunately falling straight onto her face as soon as the swordsmith came into sight. Giyuu trots over to help her up, Urokodaki shaking his head from the porch. Hidden behind a mask of similar style, a singular man pins Sayuri under his concealed glare, situating the wrapped swords on his back.

     "This... This is one of my swords' wielders?" He clicks his tongue once and plops lazily beside where Urokodaki stands, now fetching tea for the traveler. Sayuri and Giyuu scramble over in anticipation, having wondered what colors their swords would change to for the past two weeks.

     "May we see them?"

     "Eh? Wait until I've had my tea first! This isn't an easy journey you know! I've worked sooo hard day and night to make these blades for you two, I deserve a break!"

     "Yes but-" Sayuri groans when the swordsmith turns his head and invites himself inside instead of hearing her out. If they'd be leaving for their first mission today they would need the nichirin blades sooner rather than later! Yet here they were, helping their Sensei make special flowery tea and offering sweet treats that were supposed to be their own to the man lazing in the center of the home. Urokodaki had to refocus the younger's gazes away from their swords every so often, grabbing ahold of their heads and prying them back to the task at hand.

     Over an hour later was the smith satisfied with his treatment and a full stomach, pushing the bandaged swords toward each child,

     "Your teacher had those handguards specially made, a pain in my neck!"

     "My apologies," Urokodaki hums, not quite meaning it, "-I believe they suited your tastes best."

     Sayuri blushes in contentment, running her hand over the puffy cloud-shaped handguard, completely filled in with white until it met the blade. Giyuu's was of similar simplicity, but of gold and maroon color in an angular shape. The true anticipation started when they began to remove the coverings from the shining metal underneath. Miso and Kanzaburo settle on one of the open windows to watch the moment.

     Fixating on the grey metal, Sayuri has to squint if she wished to see the change take place. Maybe the color would develop in a few days? Her blade was now a light lavender, or maybe even periwinkle? Compared to Giyuu's deep blue, Sayuri was honestly a little underwhelmed. She traces the small hiranga for the beginning of her name at the bottom of the sword,

     "Can you see the difference?"

     "Well..."

    "Are you that bland!?"

     "I think Sabito would like it," Giyuu seemed more enthusiastic than the other two, "-It reminds me of his eyes."

     A moment of grief flashes through those who lost the young boy, but the swordsmith was unable to understand this sorrow. Instead, he jumps to his feet and demands more treats for his trek back to the village he worked in. Sayuri wondered what it was like there, and if everyone wore those masks.

     When he departs, Urokodaki decided it'd be best for Sayuri and Giyuu to leave tomorrow. Whether it be out of logic or attachment, he'd never admit to it.

     "You have your bags with you?"

     "Yes Sensei, right here," Giyuu and Sayuri make sure to open the bags across their shoulders to show Urokodaki they truly did have everything he packed for them. The man had been doting on them all morning, an unusual sight, before they finally left and entered the hectic world of slaying demons.

     "And you remember how to access your ranks?"

     Flexing their arms, a small red mark labeling their rank as Mizunoto shines on the back of their hands. It fades after a few seconds and Urokodaki nods, smoothing out the haori over the official Demon Slayer uniforms his children wore.

      "Come visit me soon? You'll always have a home here, please don't hesitate to return." Urokodaki brings both children close to his chest for a final embrace before sending them off to follow their crows. He supposed he couldn't keep them away from demons forever, though as much as he'd like to try. Sayuri and Giyuu were strong. Sakonji only wished for their longevity.

     While walking away from the place they'd spent the last year (and more for Giyuu) of their lives, the new Demon Slayers were going to be headed in the same direction for quite a while. Sayuri would be entering a small village on the outskirts of a city while Giyuu was off to an abandoned set of buildings where many people went missing.

     "Yuri." Giyuu begins after some miles of walking, fist tight around the hilt of his blade. His dull blue eyes scanned the landscape of farms stretching far and wide, clouds bubbling in the bright blue sky. Sayuri hums in acknowledgment as she pets Miso.

     "Please don't climb the ranks of the Corps."

     This request snaps the girl's attention to him properly, eyes narrowing in confusion,

     "Why shouldn't I?"

     "You'll be safer if your missions are to kill low-level demons. That way I'll know you're okay."

     "That's selfish, Giyuu," Sayuri raises an annoyed eyebrow. Why would this be the conversation they'd leave off on before separating? She didn't want to argue with Giyuu, he'd never been one to start such opinionated topics in the first place. Sayuri wouldn't be staying on the down-low for his sake, not when she had so much to do now that Final Selection was over and a sword was in her hands,

     "-Are you going to do the same? With killing lower ranked demons?"

     "No, I'll go as far as I can."

     "Why you and not me? I'm not letting you leave me behind. I'll become stronger, that way I can protect you too."

      "Sayuri!" Giyuu digs his zōri into the ground in frustration, voice raising, "I'm not going to let you die like Sabito! I... I need to follow in his footsteps, to give Urokodaki the student he deserved! You don't use Water Breathing, you don't have shoes to fill... you don't need to make up for your failures!"

     Slap!

     Giyuu holds his stinging cheek, watery eyes spotting the seething Sayuri in front of him. A fire burned in her eyes, maybe not anger, but passionate sorrow. Her hand slowly returns to her side and she takes a long breath,

     "Stop thinking you need to be Sabito! You're not him, you're Giyuu Tomioka. You have your own strengths and weaknesses, but you're certainly still just as powerful! Remember when Sabito told us to live without regret? He said we couldn't die, ever! We need to live on for them, not wallow in guilt!"

     "Sayuri... I shouldn't ha-"

     "So don't just leave me thinking I'm gonna stay behind! We're gonna work hard and... and even become Hashira!" Sayuri rubs the tears from her cheeks and huffs indignantly. Giyuu slowly begins to nod,

     "Fine. But don't be an idiot and get yourself killed. I need you around, okay?"

     "Oh-Only if you do the same."

     Giyuu nods and turns on his heels, they went their separate ways here. It could be months or even years before they'd meet one another again. A strong demon could whisk one's life away and they'd never have a final moment to share together. Together... that was nice, this was not.

     Miso caws sharply in the sky as each step takes the siblings further away from one another. Images of Sabito flash in their minds, and memories of growing up in the previous year. When Sayuri was found passed out by a log all those months ago, the trip to the monastery, all the giggles over warm meals.

     Giyuu and Sayuri pause, turning back to run into one another. They hold the other tightly in an embrace so intense that letting go would be all the more difficult. Sayuri shoves her face into Giyuu's haori,

     "Please write to me."

     "I will, though whether it gets to you depends on Kanzaburo."

     Sayuri laughs out sadly,

     "I'll await anything, no matter how long it takes."

☁️
( 𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗢𝗙 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗢𝗡𝗘 )

𝗡𝗢𝗧𝗘 ╱
now we get to grow up w/yuri n
her years becoming a hashira ,,
another smaller part bc i don't 
wanna write too much filler !!

i hope you guys love sayuri as
much as i do !! new characters
to be introduced soon ,, and a
returning haru <3

gumiguro-