Now your mouth is moving, cinematic timing
You pull me in and touch my neck, and now I'm dying 
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I don't know why I agreed to this again. The music blasted loudly, and my ears needed to adjust to the overwhelming sound.

I leaned against the wall and watched others live their life that I couldn't imagine living. For a moment I wondered how many of them were faking. Who was truly having a good time?

I know I wasn't but the alcohol kept me company, not that I've had much to drink tonight. Truthfully I felt like I was babysitting my cup more than usual.

My gaze goes to Jeongin who joined us tonight. He spoke casually to a girl, well he came off casual but I know the male was losing his shit mentally because the girl before him is his crush. He yaps on and on about her but I tend to ignore him because it's the same shit every day.

A loud cheer pulls my attention, in the corner near the beer pong table stood the group of friends who seemed to have more fun than anyone else here. I must admit, they knew how to have a good time. There had been times I would be able to forget about my emotionally unavailable tendencies and just be all in with them on nights like these but now that I'm on the outside, they look really sloppy.

I pull my gaze away and take a drink. I push off the wall and toss the cup in the trash before walking out the back sliding doors that were wide open. I was about to turn but Lloyd stood there with two other males, making me avoid any other situation that would potentially make things awkward between us.

I normally don't see who I work with at the pool after it closes, we kinda just catch up every summer and then not talk for the rest of the year but I had a weird feeling Lloyd didn't want that. He wanted to be friends.

My eyes look over the backyard before I enter the shed that the frat turned into a man cave or at least that's what they call it. Chan was really hyped about it when the idea came about, Georgia just went along with his excitement.

I sit on the arm of the couch and pull my phone out. I was supposed to walk Georgia back to the apartment tonight because Chan was sleeping here and she refuses to sleep here. She believed the frat house has lots of different types of germs and honestly, she's probably right.

The opening of the door made me pull my gaze away from my phone and watch as Hyunjin walked in. I was lucky enough to find this shed empty but now I regret coming alone.

"Hey," He offers a small smile.

"Hey," I reply, not giving him any sort of reaction.

I don't know what Hyunjin wanted from me. All of this effort confused me because I've only ever been blatantly honest with everything. I never once led Hyunjin on, from the start I told him I didn't do relationships. He told me he didn't want to go into another one, he said he wanted sex. How was I supposed to know he fell for people so quickly?

"Can we not talk about this right now?" I said suddenly, I knew why he was here. "I'm tired of talking about it"

Hyunjin watches me, nodding slowly "Fine" His words were low as he accepted his defeat, "You don't want to talk about it? Fine" His tone was sharp.

I sigh loudly, "You don't understand" I shake my head, getting irritated that he kept turning this on me "You weren't supposed to care"

"Well, I do!" Hyunjin says loudly, running his fingers through my hair "I get it, I get you don't do the whole fucking feelings things but I do. You know why?" He asks me, walking closer to where I sat "Because I'm fucking normal"

His words hit me like a ton of bricks. Normal.

I stand up "Then leave me alone," I say, emotionless "Since I'm not normal, leave me alone and go find someone that is"

Hyunjin stands there, staring at me before scoffing loudly, "One thing about you Jisung is you don't know who you are. You constantly play the part, it's so hard for you to just be yourself because you're so afraid no one will like the real you"

The sound of the door interrupts us. My strong gaze was on Hyunjin but his words made me sick. Nobody will like the real you.

"Everything okay?" My eyes snap to worried brown ones. Minho stood there, curiously looking between us but his eyes stayed on me for longer.

"Yeah, man" Hyunjin responds, I roll my eyes at the sound of his voice. I was done. So done. "Let's go play beer pong" He offers Minho, walking past him and out of the shed.

I sit back down on the arm of the couch, looking over to Minho who didn't leave. "What?" My words are hard.

Minho doesn't take it personally, shrugging and walking closer "Don't listen to him" He tells me and I look away. "He's a dick when he doesn't get what he wants"

"Yeah well he isn't going to get me" I spat, "Asshole said I don't know who I was" I look at Minho "What kind of dumb shit is that?" Minho chuckles lowly, shaking his head at my words "I do know who I am. I like to be alone because I never allowed anyone to understand me. I really like flowers, my mom used to buy them when I was a kid from the market and my favorite food is cheese pizza. I used to have my head in books because it was my only escape and Harry Potter movies are my source of comfort and I don't care how nerdy that sounds—" I pause, brows followed when I notice the fond smile that plays on Minho's lips. "What?"

Minho shakes his head "I didn't know you were such a little nerd"

I scoff, "I'm not" My demeanor is a lot different than how I was with Hyunjin. Much more relaxed.

Minho was close, some would say too close. The thing is Minho and I had gotten more friendly since we had wandered through the park and I told him he was my lucky star. I definitely spent most of that night mad at myself for openly telling him such a personal thing but he didn't make it a big deal. In that, I was thankful.

"It's not a bad thing," He tells me, I watch as he inhales deeply before saying "Don't listen to him, you know who you are, and at the end of the day that's all that matters"

I look down and I want to blame the alcohol for giving me all things unwanted thoughts but in reality, I have them sober, and still, I hate it. It won't stop me from saying "I want you to know me" I look up and my shoulders slump in defeat "I never cheated on him, not like we were ever dating but he seems to think so"

"I know" He reassures me, "I think everyone knows it was a piece of shit rumor and if they don't, who cares"

His gaze was strong, it always was. I wanted to get lost in them and never find my way out. It didn't seem like such a bad idea to allow him to roam my thoughts.

"Stop" I look away, avoiding his gaze.

"Stop?" He questions, "I'm not aware I was doing anything" I glare at him and stand up again. It suddenly felt hot in this shed.

"You keep looking at me like..." I shake my head "Just stop"

"Like what?" He asks me, "How do I look at you Ji?" He tests me, seeming to know what I'm talking about but wanting me to say it.

"Like you want me," I say lowly, "You look at me like you want me" I repeat louder.

He steps closer, "And if I do?" He says, "Would it be so bad?"

"Yeah, it would be," I said immediately, "Your friends with Hyunjin—" His hand covered my mouth.

Face close, he whispers "Ji, now it's your time to stop" I swallow harshly, "I'm my own person" He drops his hand, "And I'm growing tired of putting others first"

I looked over his face, he was serious. "You don't want me" I try to tell him, try to convince him that I wasn't someone he should want.

Minho grabs my face in his hands, fuck. "Like I said, I'm my own person, and just like you—I know who I am and with that, I know who I want" He leans closer, his lips close, "Now, can I kiss you?" My brows pull together "Do you want me to?"

I inhale deeply before nodding, "Yes" My eyes fall to his lips, "I want you to kiss me"

Minho seemed to hesitate, like he didn't think I would actually give in but I did and so without another second, his lips finally connected with mine.

A feeling took over, a longing feeling. It felt almost like my lips missed his, but I'd never kissed Minho before. I yearned for more, making me wrap my arms around his neck to bring him in closer.

Minho gripped my waist harshly, my legs hitting the arm of the couch making me pull away before I could fall over. Clinging onto him and Minho didn't seem like he was ready to stop whatever we were doing.
His lips make contact with my neck, kissing softly.

I inhale slowly, deeply. "Minho," I said lightly, running my fingers through his hair. Fuck, I didn't expect his hair to be so soft.

His bottom lip drags up to my ear "Jisung" His voice was sweet and I hated how addictive it was to hear him say my name. I hum, making him whisper in my ear "I wanted you first"

I furrow my brows and he pulls away, before I can question him, his lips go back to where they felt like they belonged. On mine.

Our breathing was heavy but it didn't stop us from kissing eagerly, hungrily. I felt starved, invading his mouth like it was mine to keep.

Minho pulls away first, cold hands going to my face "Tell me I'm not fucking dreaming"

"Just shut up and kiss me" I closed the distance again and I figured this would be tomorrow's problem.

I know how much I'll overthink this. I know this was stupid of me to allow but I wanted it. I craved the thought of his lips on mine and I do admit to it. To myself.

The way his hands fell from my face and grabbed onto my waist again like he felt like I would try and run. I don't run, I lean into the kiss.

But that's all it was. A kiss. It wasn't more. That's what I can't allow, for more.

Minho's POV
The feeling of his lips on mine was a sensation I don't ever want to forget. I knew it would haunt me if this was the first and last time I got to indulge in him.

He was a craving I never thought I would be able to taste, touch, or even be around. His fingers run through my hair and the soft noises he makes, allowing and encouraging my hands to roam.

I overheard Georgia talking with him earlier today, inviting him here. I was in the kitchen while they sat in the living room and I shamelessly watched Jisung, his expression gave me all the knowledge I needed. He didn't feel like coming to another party, I knew the thought of running into Hyunjin stopped him from these things. Still, he hesitated before agreeing—after Georgia talked about needing someone to walk her back.

I however didn't plan on coming to this party, but we all knew where this was going. I noticed his lack of presence in the house, escaping from my conversation with Krystal, and searched for him. The last time I found him alone at a party it didn't go well.

I didn't expect to see Hyunjin with him. At first, I felt all the envy come back to me. Last year I felt a lot of that, along with guilt. I shouldn't feel that way about my best friend.

Kissing Jisung was something I knew I would feel so guilty over but right now I couldn't find a single bone in my body that felt that this was wrong. It felt right, it felt good.

I don't think about after or what this meant. I lived in the moment, the one where my lips fit with his.

[Song rec - Close To You by Gracie Abrams]