⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊ - ❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

✧ JUDGE : Seamlesslove ✧

Mismatched E-Hearts by tbr_tales

BOOK COVER : 5/5
Such a pretty and aesthetic cover it is. It suits the theme of the story as well and the colour palette is lovely. The fonts being clearly visible is a very good thing too. And it is quite clickbait worthy too.

BOOK TITLE : 5/5
Perfect pick for this story. It is contextual and intriguing as well. One would think,
"What could mismatched E-Hearts mean?" It's a wonderful word choice.

BLURB/DESCRIPTION : 9/10
It is giving a short gist of whatever we are going to read and that's a wonderful thing. The word choice is just gorgeous. However, there's one thing I believe makes an alluring blurb. That is a catchy dialogue from the book, it can be any dialogue, it doesn't even matter if it's from a vital scene, but a catchy dialogue at the beginning of the blurb is enough to make the reader click that 'read more'.

FIRST IMPRESSION : 10/10
The beginning paragraph or the hook is very interesting. I wanted to read more because of the many aspects that are beautiful about the book but the start plays a vital role in capturing the reader's attention and this story does it just right. Earlier, I thought that this would be a casual dating app based book, but it's more than that.

PLOT : 19/20
The idea is a unique take to a common prompt : dating apps. But when you read the story, you do realise how interesting it actually is. The writing style binds everything well and makes the book cohesive. It is also easy to understand the events and the descriptions are graceful. However, there is one thing I'd like to point out, it isn't much of a big deal but before the first meet of the leads and after their first meet, it felt like a drastic change. There was this expectation of some more of their distaste towards the app. Nonetheless, it wasn't a big deal and you as the author know better about the story than the readers, there might be a reason behind it.

CHARACTERS : 8/10
The emotions, expressions and everything else is absolutely well written about the characters. The side characters, Yoongi and Eunji are given just enough attention. They have their own individuality which is wonderful to read and imagine. However, the sudden change in the demeanors of Sohee and Jimin just after meeting each other seemed a bit too out of character for them. The two felt firm earlier, but after that point, they seemed indecisive. Again, I don't know if that was intentional but this particular aspect felt a little behind the others.

WRITING STYLE : 10/10
Gorgeous writing style. The descriptions, the detailing provided, the metaphors used and even the dialogues, everything is well thought of. The flow is also amazing, it doesn't feel forced that a certain happening is not supposed to happen. I believe writing style is necessary to make an interesting story and the writing style in this story made me very interested, I felt myself loving the descriptions a lot.

PACE : 9/10
The abrupt development of the main leads felt a little out of character but except that, the flow, the pace of the story is exceptional. The incidents happen easily, they never feel forced or rushed or even lagging behind.

PUNCTUATION & GRAMMAR : 10/10
I never thought I'd actually give someone a full score on grammar but here I am. I couldn't find any noticeable mistakes. The little typos (I think there were only 2 in the whole story) are the only thing and I don't think points deserve to be deducted for that. The punctuation is just right in all aspects and the sentence formation is admirable. Even dialogue tags, which are commonly done wrong are used correctly. I was certainly impressed with this.

MY IMPRESSION : 10/10
I loved the story, the incidents, the characters, the writing style and the plot are all admirable on their own. I really appreciate the hard work that must have gone into writing this book. Great job done.

Total : 95/100

--//---

Ray Of Light by Swtodotcom

BOOK COVER : 3/5
The cover is attractive, but there are some things that don't make it much of a clickbait. The font used is very slim if you understand what I mean and the colour used in the font makes it a bit hard to read. The cover quite fits the theme of the book but the colour palette could have been a bit better because the words are not clearly visible.

BOOK TITLE : 5/5
'Ray of Light' suits the story in more ways than I had imagined. I was able to come up with like 3 different theories regarding the title. It's an interesting pick and perfectly contextual.

BLURB/DESCRIPTION : 9/10
I absolutely love the fact that you used some catchy dialogues in the blurb, it is a very good technique to attract readers. The short descriptions of the protagonists is great as well. It is misleading, which is a good thing because the readers get to know the actual story only by reading it. However, the dialogues have dialogue tag errors, you should edit it because you have learnt them as evident in the last few chapters.

FIRST IMPRESSION : 8/10
The cover, the title and the blurb are pretty much the first impressions and I have already shared the opinions on those aspects. They are indeed attractive.
Talking of the first chapter, it was effectively misleading. The turns that took place with each chapter made me look back and he was like okay this isn't what I thought the book is. However, the first chapter is also not an exceptionally intriguing one, the later parts of the story have a much more interesting concept. I feel like some people might think that this is a story about depression and mental health only, when it's a lot more than that. And there's dialogue tag errors too, not only in the first chapter but the the beginning chapters, they started improving towards the end.

PLOT : 20/20
I admire the idea a lot, the unique twists and turns in the story are all unexpected. Like there was not a single twist I expected when I actually can guess the plot pretty early in the story. This one is totally unique, rare even. I am absolutely intrigued by the plot and positively aghast with the twists. I couldn't yet figure out any noticeable plot holes, the idea is expressed well enough and cohesively. And you must know how hard it is to merge all these different topics that you have taken up for the story and not make it look like a mess. The explanations are easy to understand as well, making it a much friendlier read.

CHARACTERS : 10/10
The characters are exceptionally well written. Every single one of them. I adore the fact that equal attention is given into writing the side characters and the main characters don't get all the focus. Their emotions are expressed brilliantly, making you feel for them. They have this belonging of their own that it feels like you can distinguish a character from another based on the traits itself. That's immensely applaudable. The story hasn't progressed as much to show drastic development, but the little details matter and they are shown in a way that they do.

WRITING STYLE : 7/10
The way the story is written is amazing, interesting and attractive. However, there are certain aspects that can be improved. Like there is a lack of cohesiveness in the style. Also, the tense switching errors make it hard to determine the timeline and understand the narrative. I'll explain tense errors in the grammar section. What I mean by the lack of cohesiveness is that there are times when you can't really make out the style of the author, like there's different ways in which different chapters are written. And no, that isn't a bad thing, for there's improvement in each chapter. The earlier chapters lack in the delivery of dialogues but that improves later.

A little editing can help as the style is more defined in the later chapters and the things are explained in a better manner, which definitely shows improvement.

PACE : 10/10

The pacing is neither too slow nor too fast, it's good enough to be reader friendly. The pacing in this story is one of the things that is very stable, there's almost no fluctuation in the pace, it is steady and just enough. There are a lot of things happening in each chapter but they are not thrown at the readers all at once, there is this understanding which makes it a much better read.

PUNCTUATION & GRAMMAR : 7/10
Punctuation like periods, commas etc. are correctly used. The basic grammar is satisfactory. The sentence formation is almost never lacking and prepositions, conjunctions, infinitives etc. are used well. However there are certain important and noticeable aspects that are lacking. Dialogue tags were used incorrectly in the beginning of the book but towards the last few chapters, the correct tags were used so I believe that you learnt about it and improved too. I would suggest proofreading to edit the parts that had this error. Also, I'd just point out a few examples of mistakes I came across. There's some spelling errors, more likely typos.

Eg : Certain - curtain (chapter 4)

Now this is the most prominent mistake in the book that persists till the last chapter uploaded and it's a very important aspect of writing. Tenses. There are a lot of tense switching errors. More precisely, in every chapter there are certain sections in which the tense switches from past to present and vice-versa.

Eg : (Chapter - 9)

Tense switching error in consecutive paragraphs and/or sentences. Between paragraphs :

1st paragraph

After he dropped her hand to her side, she felt the spot he previously surrounded by his lips burn.

2nd paragraph

He suggests and raises his brow, waiting for Sam's response.

Within one line :
Her eyes widen, that caught her off guard.

This sentence should have been "her eyes widened, ......."

I suggest that you pick one tense, either past or present to write your story in and stick to it throughout the story. Tense switching is very distracting and makes it difficult to determine the timelines for both the author and the readers.

MY IMPRESSION : 8/10
This book is an awesome plot idea and I would absolutely never ever stop praising the plot. The unique take to such a common prompt is befuddling. And how well the hybridization of so many different ideas is done is commendable. However, there were certain aspects like the lack of a defined writing style and the tense errors that made me feel like I was losing a little bit of interest (which was caught back in the next chapter btw) and I have mentioned them earlier. I would like to continue reading this story. The only suggestion I can give to the author is proofreading. Read and edit your story, there is improvement and I have faith that you can make the beginning even better.

TOTAL : 87/100

--//---

Infected by MoonLightGoddess1

BOOK COVER : 5/5
It's a gorgeous cover that perfectly suits the theme of the book, the title font is a little dark but it's still visible.

BOOK TITLE : 3/5
The title is not as innovative and attractive, it's contextual to the story but not a brilliant pick. You can try to think of something different. An intriguing title to a zombie story makes it even more alluring.

BLURB/DESCRIPTION : 9/10
The section of dialogues used in the blurb is very interesting and can make the reader click right in. However, I'd like to point out that the dialogue tags are incorrectly used, which I'll explain in the grammar section.

FIRST IMPRESSION : 8/10
The first chapter is pretty interesting. Even though it has the cliché of the kab experiment and turning into zombies, it's still written well. The cliché made it clear that the story is one of the survival ones which is both nice and a little less interesting. Also, Y/n's super fast action is both nice of her character and impractical as well.

PLOT : 17/20
The plot is a good one and makes perfect sense. There's little to no plot holes. However, the zombie apocalypse cliché is very prominent in the story. Still, the Resident Evil turn was amazing and made it better. The things blend in well. The plot is easy going, however, there's certain parts that feel out of theme.

CHARACTERS : 10/10
The characters are original and must be adored. Every character from the main leads to the side characters are written well and show development. The best aspect of this story are the characters.

WRITING STYLE : 8/10
The writing style is easy to understand and the things are easily explained. The Resident Evil references were a little confusing at first but it got fine later. The dialogues sometimes feel like fillers when a short description could work better. Overall, the writing style is reader friendly.

PACE : 8/10
In the beginning of the story, the pace was fast and in the middle it got a bit slow (for like the first 5-6 chapters). But after that it got stable and the incidents didn't feel over the top.

PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR : 7/10
I would say that the writer has knowledge of grammar and punctuation but there are some mistakes that are prominent in the story.

Use of commas : There're numerous sentences that just don't end in dialogues. Instead of a full stop, it's all commas. I can't recall the perfect example from the story but something like this : "You three, exchange numbers with me, I have made a group chat, if you find anything, text on it immediately," said Ada

There's a lot of scope for other punctuation like :

"You there; exchange numbers with me. I have made a group chat. If you find anything, text on it immediately," said Ada.

The sentence formation is accurate and the vocabulary used is great, the choice of words also improves with the story's progression. Also, you know dialogue tags but do them wrong numerous times in the story, whether it be ending the quote without punctuation or capitalising errors (like in the blurb).
I'd suggest that you proofread the book and correct these mistakes. Otherwise, the grammar is great in this book.

MY IMPRESSION : 7/10
I liked the story, my favourite aspect being the characters that were so well written. I also liked the change in plot, the unique take to a common prompt. The only thing I'd suggest the writer is to proof read the book and update it further.

TOTAL : 82/100

--//---

Enemies in Crime by bxngtxnzbitvh

BOOK COVER : 5/5
The cover is pretty attractive and the fonts are clearly visible too. The colour palette is suitable and it matches the story.

BOOK TITLE : 4/5
The title is pretty simple but it sure does its job in catching the reader's attention, however it's not that unique. It's common in short. Also, it's a little hard to understand the context of this title in the story as of yet. Though, it is a good title.

BLURB/DESCRIPTION : 8/10
The blurb does a fine job in summarising the story's content without revealing too much. There's a sentence formation mistake in the blurb, (led the once family like allies become the biggest rivals instead of .....allies to become....)
It also lacks a little in the interest factor, there's no dialogue from the story to grab the reader's attention and the little paragraph alone can't do all of the job.

FIRST IMPRESSION : 7/10
The introduction of the story was good enough, the characters' pictures and descriptions were fine but the first chapter was a little confusing due to some aspects. The switching of pov's too quickly and the grammatical errors made it a little harder to understand, I'll explain these in the grammar section.

PLOT : 14/20
If I were to describe this plot, I'd say it's a different take on a common plot. The ex-childhood best friends trope is overused on Wattpad for some reason, but I liked the unique touch of the writer to this prompt. There were clichés like them becoming enemies and that too as mafia members, the too many weaknesses of the female lead while the males remain strong and mighty etc. However, it was still executed differently by the writer which is appreciable.

CHARACTERS : 9.5/10
The thing I love the most about this story is the characters. Their emotions, expressions and actions are well written and described, it makes the story so much better and I felt interested in the story mainly due to the characters. However, if the writing style or the grammatical aspect was stronger, the happenings would've been conveyed better instead of being confusing at times.

WRITING STYLE : 6/10
The writing style is a bit confusing, the constant POV switches along with dialogue tags and tense errors make it a bit hard to understand the things at once. The layout is a little bit confusing but it's still understandable and we can clear out things by ourselves as we read further.

The dialogues are sometimes formed incorrectly or a little awkwardly (I'm sorry for using this word), for eg : (chapter - 7) "-that if anyone even is alive now.. except you.." I feel like it should be, "If anyone is even alive except you right now..." (There should be three dots when you use the period symbol multiple times, no more, no less, it's called an ellipse mark, it's a punctuation).

I'm sure you can improve with time, this is only the first story you've written.

PACE : 10/10
The pace of the story is perfect, it never felt rushed or lagging behind. The incidents made sense and their chronology also made sense. The book is written at a stable pace.

PUNCTUATION AND GRAMMAR : 5/10
There are some sentence formation and punctuation errors (like the example I gave for incorrect dialogue in writing style). There are times when the punctuation marks are not placed where required or placed where they aren't required.

For eg : (chapter -7)
Missing punctuation :-
If they got recognised you say?
Instead of
If they got recognised, you say?

Incorrect Punctuation :-
It seems like you're ready. Let's go.
Instead of... It seems like you're ready, let's go. (The aforementioned sentences aren't different, they are connected.)
There are many capitalisation errors in the beginning chapters as well.

There are a lot of instances where the tenses switch between past and present, like the usage of 'is' in one paragraph and usage of 'was' in the next.

The dialogue tags are incorrectly used as well. For eg : "Ssh, close you eyes and give me your hand" he said smiling
Instead of "Ssh, close your eyes and give me your hand," he said; smiling.

Note the usage of punctuation in the correction tag.

You can use grammar editors to review your chapters before publishing and also proofread the book and make edits wherever needed. You can also submit your book in review shops where they'll provide a detailed analysis of your mistakes, which is perhaps not possible in an award book review.

MY IMPRESSION : 6/10
I did enjoy the plotline and the characters for a bit, but the grammatical errors and writing style made it a little hard to focus on just reading. Since I'm a judge, I had to point out the mistakes but the idea is a great one. With better execution, the story can do wonders!

TOTAL : 74.5/100

--//---

Caught You by 0rbofnight

BOOK COVER : 4/5
The cover is beautifully made but the character doesn't look much like Jimin. Jane is also a main character, so I feel like she should have been on the cover as well. But the colour scheme, the fonts are all good.

BOOK TITLE : 4/5
The title is intriguing, it makes the reader think - Caught whom? However, I feel like the word choice is too simple, something like Interception would also suit the story. Overall, it's a great pick.

BLURB/DESCRIPTION : 5/10
First of all, the language is pretty hard to understand because of numerous grammatical errors. The sentence formation is weak and punctuation is also lacking in a few sentences. Moreover, I feel like you shouldn't give a huge spoiler as the identity of the killer in the blurb itself, it should be kept a mystery, it will make the reader more interested.

Also, it's not required for you to write "read by yourself or I can't give more description". This is so because sentences such as these in the blurb drive away the actual readers and only pull the ones who are casually reading without paying attention to the details.
I feel like you should edit the blurb asserting these points.

FIRST IMPRESSION : 5/10
The first quote in the first chapter is interesting and makes one want to read ahead. However, in the very next sentence there's a grammatical error, it sets the interest a little lower. Also, it takes one or two reads to understand a few paragraphs because of the confusing sentence formation. This is your first story and the first chapter so that's not a big deal. The murder in the first chapter is a very interesting way to start a book.

PLOT : 19/20
The plot idea is commendable. The identity of the killer, the many murders, the dilemma of the detectives; everything is intriguing. I would absolutely give this plot a full score if it weren't for the execution.

The execution has quite a number of flaws due to the writing style. There are many parts in the story which aren't clearly understood.
There's little plot holes which are easily ignorable so that isn't distracting.

CHARACTERS : 8/10
The characters are distinct for one thing. The way Jane's personality is enigmatic is fascinating along with Jimin's. Namjoon and Jungkook make for brilliant side characters in the story, Namjoon almost gave the second lead emotion as well in the beginning. However, there are certain points where their emotions are confusing because of the way they're written. The constant switching of person from first to third and vice versa and the switching of pov's too often also makes it hard to understand.

WRITING STYLE : 3/10
The writing style has numerous flaws, the biggest ones being the incorrect sentence formation and constant POV and person switches. These two aspects make it really hard to understand what's going on in the story, even if the plot is good, the writing style draws away the attention from the story. It takes multiple reads for some paragraphs to understand what it means. Also, the dialogues are not justified, at times, it isn't clear which character is speaking.
However, it's only your first story and you'll certainly improve if you understand where it's getting messy.

PACE : 8/10
The pacing is pretty good but some things like the introduction of new characters all of a sudden (Derek) felt a little abrupt. He was not even mentioned once earlier and became vital as soon as he arrived. The thing between Namjoon and Jane was a little rushed as well, it started and ended all too quickly. The good thing was that there was no clue for the twist that was to come. Overall, the story's flow wasn't rushed or lagging, it was at a good pace.

Punctuation and Grammar : 2/10
There's a lot of places where you need to improve in the grammatical aspect.

1) The use of commas and capitalisation : there's one too many times that the commas are incorrectly placed or missing.

For eg : "Boss, told me to give this file..."
Instead of "Boss told me to give this file.."
The comma isn't required here, I'd suggest reading the sentences out loud and seeing if a pause is required or not.
The capitalisation might be a typo but I believe there were four times when the first letter of a sentence was not capitalised.

2) Non-defined dialogues and incorrect dialogue tags : The Non-defined dialogues mean that it was either unclear who was speaking or that the inverted comma was placed only at the beginning or the end of the sentence, when it's required in both places. Eg : (not from the story) "Okay, whatever you want. He said while sulking.
Instead of "Okay, whatever you want," he said while sulking.

Note the closed inverted commas and the comma at the end of the dialogue that's quoted and the non-capitalised letter of the word after the sentence. (It will be capital if the word is a proper noun)
I can't really explain this in detail so I suggest reading the book "Most Common Writing Errors" by @Ravendipity. It explains most of the errors that you make in your story including dialogues.

3) Incorrect sentence formation : The word order is not correct in many parts of the story.

Eg : So, it was trouble to find it but they at least found 3 files.

Instead of...but they found at least 3 files.

Also these sentences :

"The destination where her destiny is gonna decide"

"Wind breezed from the open window"

"Emphasizing the understand word"

I know this doesn't do a proper explanation but most of the sentences' word order is replaced from what it should be. I suggest watching short YouTube videos regarding sentence formation.

4) Tenses : The constant switching between past and present tense makes it very hard to keep track of the timeline of the story.
Eg : You can sense Jimin was also looking at your phone.

Instead of

You could sense Jimin...
Tenses are a thing many people make mistakes in. I suggest reading the book I mentioned earlier and also watching YouTube videos regarding tenses.

The vocabulary used is simple but at times, fancy words are also used. I even noticed that at one place a fancy word that wasn't actually supposed to be in the sentence was used.

The grammar needs improvement but again, it's only the first story so there's not much of a problem. You can improve with time.

MY IMPRESSION : 6/10
The things that attract me the most about a story are characters and plot; both of which are amazing in this book. I liked reading it but I also found myself losing interest because of the grammar and writing style. However, I believe you can improve with time.

TOTAL : 64/100

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊ - ❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

Thank you so much for participating in the BTS September Awards. I was really happy to host this Award and it's been a new experience all along.

I would like to show my gratitude to the Judges for helping me out throughout this and to the participants for making this Award a competitive one with their amazing books.

Rewards will be given to you soon once you comment down your views in this chapter to mark your attendance.

꧁࿇♥♥࿇꧂