⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊ - ❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

✧ JUDGE : bangtanrewinds ✧

Pretty Lies by a_purple_girl

BOOK TITLE : 5/5
The title is excellent, fitting the story well and intriguing potential readers to explore the book. If I were a reader, I would certainly be drawn to it. A great choice.

BOOK COVER : 4/5
The cover is good and provides insights into Jimin. However, it could benefit from more creativity. The fonts and their placement are appealing.

BLURB/DESCRIPTION: 8/10
The blurb is well-crafted, and I enjoyed it. However, it may reveal a bit too much about the storyline. If readers see this blurb along with the cover or the first chapter, they might think the plot is similar to what they've read before, even if the story is different.

FIRST IMPRESSION : 8.5/10
You skillfully narrated the initial scenario, which can be challenging as it's crucial not to bore the reader. Your unique approach in the introduction chapters was effective, providing insights about Y/N.

PLOT : 19/20
The plot is simple yet heartwarming. Its simplicity manages to evoke deep emotions in readers. The points of view are well-written, and the story has a twist that adds intrigue. But I feel the twist was unprepared or improperly executed. Y/n met Jimin for so long but no one saw it. They met in Jimin's room and many such places, it's not too noticeable but maybe it can be fixed. Other than that, all's good.

CHARACTERS : 10/10
The characters are portrayed excellently, with consistent character development. This is a strong point in your story.

STYLE OF WRITING : 8/10
Your descriptive writing style enhances the story, setting it apart from others with similar concepts. It is poetic yet understandable, with vocabulary that suits a wide range of readers. The use of imagery is well done, although some run-on sentences could be clarified. Consider running your chapters through tools like Google Docs or Grammarly for improvement.

PACE : 8/10
The pace is good, but there were moments where it felt a bit rushed. While hospital scenarios shouldn't be overly drawn out, there is room for additional development in this area.

PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR : 7/10
Overall, punctuation and grammar were well-maintained, but there were a few noticeable errors, primarily related to tense. Proofreading can help in addressing these issues.

YOUR IMPRESSION : 8.5/10
I enjoyed reading your story and would recommend it to others. Addressing the minor issues mentioned would enhance the overall narrative. I was engaged until the end, and the conclusion left a significant impact. Y/n moving on in her life with Jin while cherishing her time with Jimin conveys a meaningful message about moving forward and treasuring precious moments and people. It's a great job! Best of luck with your future work.

TOTAL : 86/100

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The Trouble Of True Love by jim_jam_jimin

BOOK TITLE : 5/5
The title, though lengthy, is an excellent fit for the story.

BLURB/DESCRIPTION : 5.5/10
The fonts used in the blurb might not be visible on all devices, which can affect reader attraction. Consider using fonts that are visible on every device or reducing their use. Content-wise, the blurb could benefit from a more detailed and polished presentation. The first two dialogues are not necessary, as they serve as an example and not an excerpt from the book.

FIRST IMPRESSION : 5/10
The beginning is good, but as the chapter progresses, many events occur rapidly, making it feel rushed. Regardless of the pace set, the first chapter should provide readers with ample space to get to know the characters and the story's background.

PLOT : 12.5/20
The plot has enjoyable moments, but execution is the main challenge. It feels like a prelude to the actual story and moves too quickly, making it hard to grasp the characters' emotions. There are a few plot twists, but their impact is lessened due to a lack of proper execution. Additionally, there are inaccuracies in the ages mentioned after every time skip that should be corrected. While it's a common love triangle story, the ending has merit and aligns with the title.

CHARACTERS : 5/10
Again, the lack of character descriptions and insights made them look unreal. See, as someone who studies in depth emotional aspects of humans I can agree every person reacts differently to everything. So I won't say what the characters did was right or wrong. But the question here is the elaboration of their behaviour and POV. If the other person with a distinct pov reads your written character aka your pov they might feel it to be different and wrong but if you give an elaboration and insights into them, the readers will understand and be able to relate to it. So, let the characters grow, and show why they did that. Their behaviour? What do they feel?

STYLE OF WRITING : 5/10
There's room for improvement in your writing style. Consider incorporating more descriptive elements, particularly in a romantic story. Reading more books can be beneficial for enhancing your writing.

PACE : 4.5/10
While the adventure genre often has a fast pace, the romance genre benefits from a steadier pace, allowing personal character growth and the development of a bond between the leads. The numerous time skips of ten years and seven years disrupt the story's flow.

PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR : 5/10
There are punctuation and grammar issues in the story. These include a lack of punctuation in many sentences and tense problems. Tools like Google Docs or Grammarly can help identify and correct these errors.

YOUR IMPRESSION : 6.5/10
The storyline has potential, but proper execution is essential. Considering the length you want for your story and planning accordingly can help in avoiding unnecessary time skips. Don't be disheartened by the scores; view them as a stepping stone for improvement. Best of luck with your future work.

TOTAL: 57/100

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She Changed Me by Ivydragonwind

BOOK COVER : 1.5/5
The book cover failed to represent the theme of the book; it resembled more of an edit dedicated to Idol Jimin. Additionally, it lacked a title and author's name, which is essential for a complete cover. Consider seeking assistance from graphic designers available on Wattpad.

BOOK TITLE : 2/5
The title didn't strongly relate to the book, as I'll explain in the plot criteria. It's somewhat common but still somewhat interesting. It would receive a higher rating if it had a closer connection to the story.

BLURB/DESCRIPTION : 5/10
Continuing the discussion on the title, the blurb had some appeal for those who enjoy bad-boy stories. However, it was too brief, providing limited insight into the story. Furthermore, there were numerous grammatical errors, such as a lack of capitalization for proper nouns and tense issues, which made it challenging to understand. Crafting a concise yet engaging blurb can be difficult, so here's a suggested pattern: 1) Include a quote or dialogue from the book. 2) Optionally, provide a brief characterization of the main leads. 3) Offer a summary of the plot.

FIRST IMPRESSION: 6/10
The beginning didn't offer anything particularly novel, and the use of many pictures was distracting while reading the chapter. Starting from the party scene might make for a more engaging beginning.

PLOT : 11/20
From the very first chapter, it was evident where the story was heading, and this lack of surprise affected its creative score. The story deviated significantly from what the title and blurb suggested. It mentioned Jimin as a bad boy, but this aspect was not prominently featured. If Jimin's aggressiveness when provoked into a fight was what was meant by "bad boy," it didn't align with the typical bad boy context. Perhaps narrating how love brightened his life instead of emphasising "change" would be more fitting.

Regarding plot holes, there was no clear explanation for why their parents opposed their marriage. While you mentioned it in the end note, it would enhance the story's originality to include these details in the narrative itself, as sub-stories contribute to the overall storytelling.

Apart from these issues, the story contained a good amount of fluff and enjoyment.

CHARACTERS: 5/10
Character growth was present but felt rushed. The fast pacing hindered the character portrayals. For example, Jimin and Y/n fell in love too quickly, which didn't align with Jimin's initial bad-boy characterization. Characters with complex or stubborn traits would benefit from a slower and more gradual development. Offering more insight into Y/n's character would also enhance the story.

STYLE OF WRITING : 4.5/10
The writing style occasionally engaged the reader more than the plot, but using a different format for dialogues, such as enclosing them in apostrophes, could be more effective. While the writing was understandable, it could benefit from being more descriptive and less reliant on photos. Reading more books can help improve your writing.

PACE : 3.5/10
As previously mentioned, the pacing is a significant issue in your story. To address this, consider extending the story to around 25 chapters to allow for the development of necessary scenarios and a smoother narrative flow. One suggestion is to include more scenes from Jimin and Y/n's dating period.

PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR : 4.5/10
Improvements are needed in this area. There was a lack of punctuation in nearly every sentence, making the writing confusing. The same applies to grammar and tense issues. Consider using tools like Google Docs or Grammarly to identify and rectify these errors.

YOUR IMPRESSION : 6/10
In my opinion, the story has the potential to be an engaging read for fans of fluffy and romantic stories, but it requires addressing the mentioned errors. Lengthening the story would likely resolve many of the issues. Don't be discouraged by the low rating; consider it a learning opportunity. You have the potential to improve, and I wish you good luck with your future work.

TOTAL : 49/100

✯ Disqualified Participant : dhstuf

↠ Reason : They didn't follow their assigned Judge till now (which is one of the rules of this Award Show) even after informing them.

⊰᯽⊱┈──╌❊ - ❊╌──┈⊰᯽⊱

Thank you so much for participating in the BTS September Awards. I was really happy to host this Award and it's been a new experience all along.

I would like to show my gratitude to the Judges for helping me out throughout this and to the participants for making this Award a competitive one with their amazing books.

Rewards will be given to you soon once you comment down your views in this chapter to mark your attendance.

꧁࿇♥♥࿇꧂