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FOURTEEN;
『 FIGHT FOR YOUR BLOOD 』

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ㅤ THE NEXT FEW DAYS BLUR TOGETHER. We have been taking account of food for the common people, how many weapons and shields we need to supply, and who is fighting on our side. I have sent ravens to Driftmark in hopes that Rhaenys will reply and that she will fight on our side. Though she may act cold, she will pull through and fight for the right side, or so I hope. I know that she will not allow Baela or Rhaena to fight, more than likely, but the more dragon fire we can get, the better.

      I believe this war has already begun to make me a mad woman. My nights are nearly sleepless. When I do sleep, it is the same dream in variation, haunting me, tormenting me. My days feel like they drag on for weeks. The men of the small council have sworn oaths to me, but I can sense that they are uncertain of my position, especially as tensions with my mother and father grow. I have sent word to Jacaerys, stating that he should leave Dragonstone at once, for his safety, but he says he cannot. He says our mother and father have their claws tightly poked inside of him.

The small council and I have been sitting in this room for the past three hours. All the men have spoken of strategy, with their knowledge of war, and I've just had to sit back and listen, trusting their judgments. Aemond and I have never seen a war in our lives. We have heard about them, sure, but there is a difference between stabbing a man in the chest and watching him bleed and reading about that sort of thing happening in a book. I feel underprepared for the battle that is to come. I do not know if I will have the strength to persist.

"The fleet will attack, since Jacaerys is now the ruler of Driftmark." Lord Beesbury points his finger to a spot on the map, a beach. "This port will be the best for them. It is the shortest distance to the Keep and it holds the largest beach." He explains carefully to me. I do not want to be talked to like I'm a child, though I must listen.

     "Rhaenyra and Daemon will likely voyage on dragon back, but they will not light the Keep aflame. They must keep it in tact for when they rule, or so they think," I take in a breath of air. "We must meet them at the grasslands between the beach and the Keep. Our archers will still be able to attack from the towers this way." He continues. I picture it in my head; the archers raining down arrows on my mother and fathers army. It is a sight that I so heavily dread.

"Our men will try and push the opposing side towards the fields, away from the walls and the city. This way, if we do get them into the fields, we may be able to use dragon fire." His words start mixing together and I've lost myself trying to figure out everything that he says.

"Will I be able to speak with my mother and father when they arrive? To try and settle things so this war does not break out?" All of the Lords look at me like I've said something wrong.

"No, My Lady, you will not." Lord Boremund Baratheon says. "They have not brought an army behind them so that you may talk. They have brought an army to match behind them to try and take the throne." He answers.

He tells me the difficult to face reality of the situation. I have not wanted to think on it too much, though now I have no other option. My parents are coming, with hundreds of ships stacked with men. They will not want to talk about this. They will want to fight about this. I have taken my mothers crown and throne and Aemond has taken Daemon's crown. I suppose there is a reason for them to be upset, but there isn't a reason for them to wage war against their own homelands and their own daughter. I stand up from the table. Aemond follows suit, standing up at the other head. I place my hands in front of me and address the men of the council.

"Double the men at the tour and the men by every entrance into the castle." I say to the men surrounding me.

"That has already been done, My Lady." Maester Orwyle says. I blink.

"Was an order given to you to carry out these actions?" I look to every pair of eyes in the room. Each man shakes his head in denial.

"Triple them, then," my voice grows hostile. I lean down, pressing the palms of my hand to the edge of the table. My eyes pierce into the ones surrounding me. "You do not act on orders so delicate without my permission or my husbands permission. Do you understand?" I look around the table. Every man nods. I do not want to give them more of a reason to hate me, but they should not dare to carry out these sorts of tasks without first being granted permission.

Aemond and I exit the room, followed closely behind by Ser Harwin. My blood boils beneath my skin. I had to bite down on my tongue to keep myself from saying more, to keep myself from making sure I got my point across. We are guided to the throne room where our party, now joined by Lucerys, hold a hearing for the common people. Farmers are asking for more seed, as the threat of war thickens. Blacksmiths are asking for more resources, as most of them are being used for preparation of the war. They are all granted what they seek. I may be a woman, and not their ruler of choice, but I will make sure they have no reason to despise me.

After the hearing is over, Lucerys takes to his chambers where he tends to his duties of being the Queen's Hand. Aemond and Ser Harwin take to the preparation areas where our troops gather for the first war that is upon us. Three knights follow behind me, rather closely, as I make my way to my chambers. There are to be three guards outside of my chambers at all times, no matter the circumstance. I close the door and press my head to the wood. My head has not stopped hurting the moment I was crowned. Not from the weight of the crown, but from the weight of being a Queen.

When I turn, it takes me a moment to realize that someone stands in my changers. Her hair is long and curled. Her dress is a shining Emerald green with very particular details. Her back is turned to me, but I can already sense her clearly judgmental brown eyes that always seem to catch me doing some sort of wrong. She turns, slowly. I need to relax, so I gesture to the seating area. She takes a seat on the sofa and crosses her legs. I approach the side table and pour some wine from the pitcher into the cup. I hand it to her. She takes it gratefully. I pour myself a cup then sit across from her.

"Do you fear what is to come, child?" By this point I've gotten used to her saying child. It's what she still sees me as- a foolish child.

"I do," I answer before taking a sip of wine. "One would be rather stupid not to be afraid of something so dangerous." I answer. She nods and swirls the wine around in her cup. The years of fearing for her children have taken a toll on her features.

      "Smart of you to be," her eyes fall to the ground. "I do not want you to dislike me. I want you to trust me. I know some of the things I have done have been..." She trails off, searching for just the right word, but I already have one in mind.

      "Cruel?" I answer. Her eyes wander back to me and she nods, slowly.

       "Indeed." She clears her throat. "I have asked Aegon and Helaena if they will follow you into battle. They have both agreed. I know it does not seem like a peace offering, but it is. My children are my life. Everything I do is for them. There is nothing I love more in this world than my children. I trust you, and I trust that my children will be safe riding into battle with you. They wish to fight alongside you on their dragons, Alerhya. You and Aemond are married now, which means myself and my children are at your disposal. Aemond is my son, and he has married you, which makes you my daughter too." Her words are delicate and meaningful. I find myself studying her for a moment after the words fall from her lips. I almost can't believe it.

      I have never felt so relieved to be told there are more people out there who do trust me and will follow behind me. Though, I also find it hard to trust Alicent. She has gone behind my back and done unthinkable things. She nearly ruined my marriage with Aemond. But, I do know that she cherishes her children more than anything. She will not harm me as I am married to her son. My blood is his and his is mine. We burn in the same fire now. If I go down, he goes down with me, and she knows that.

      "I know there is nothing you love more than your children," I say. "I would be honored to have Aegon and Helaena fight on the battlefield alongside Aemond and I on dragon back." I say with a short smile. She nods and takes in the rest of the wine in her cup. Once she's finished, she stands to get up. I stand up, to walk her out. Before I know it, her arms are wrapped around me and Alicent Hightower is hugging me.

      I've never been so confused yet so relieved to have a mothers touch upon me. Though Alicent is not my mother, she has the same warmth a mother does. It feels almost nostalgic. I have been without this comfort for so long. I wrap my hands around her back and rest my head on her shoulder. We stay like that for a bit, in the seating area, hugging one another. Finally, she pulls back and places a warm hand to my cheek. For the first time in my life, I can see sincerity in her eyes.

      "The way your mother is treating you is no way for a mother to treat their child," she whispers. "You are so strong, to be facing her in battle. Alerhya. I hope someone has told you that." I blink away the tears that threaten my eyes. It's been so long since I've heard that motherly voice. I nod and let her swipe my cheek with her thumb before she departs from my chambers down the hall.

       I stumble back onto the sofa and fall atop the pillows. Never did I ever believe I would find motherly comfort in a Alicent Hightower. Though, I guess war brings a lot of new things to the table. I finish off the rest of my wine in a single breath. I can feel it trickle down my throat and it feels amazing. I've never really liked wine, not the kinds back in Dragonstone, but the wines here are so rich and so unique. It leaves a taste that cannot be described.

      As I get up to pour another glass to wash away my sorrows, my chamber doors open and a flood of light comes in. I presume it must be Aemond, since the individual hadn't been announced to me. I turn and see him, walking towards me. I say the day of work on his face so very clearly. I move my hands away from the wine and to him. I take his hands in mine. He presses his forehead to mine. Even without words I can tell how tense he is.

      "Why was my mother in here?" He asks. "Did she hurt you? Threaten you?" His voice is urgent. I smile and place my hand on his chest. His heart pounds beneath the leather tunic he wears.

      "No, my love, all is well." I say with a smile. He bows his head and exhales sharply. "She came in here to tell me that Aegon and Helaena are to fight alongside us on the battlefield." I explain. He furrows his eyebrows together in confusion.

      "She is allowing them to fight? Why?" He asks, suddenly very interested.

      "She knows it is not gold or land or a man that she can give me to earn my trust. She knows I have all of that. She realizes her children are her most precious asset," I place my hand on his cheek. "Which is why they will join us." A surprised smile spreads across his lips. He backs away and takes in yet another sigh of relief.

      "That is wonderful news," he claims. "I must get back to the stables where Ser Harwin is helping the men, but I will be back within the hour." He plants a kiss on my forehead then exits the chamber.

      I wander to the bookshelf and take out a new book that I've been reading, since Aemond forced me to loose my page on the other. I wind down on the sofa as the candles burn around me. I've only flipped through three pages when the doors open again. Though, luckily, it's just a servant that I see. She had come to strip the sheets. Usually it would done in the morning, but schedules have been off. I pay no attention to her as she works through her task, at least until I hear her voice.

      "My lady, forgive me for interrupting," her voice is frightened. I look up at her as she holds the jumble of sheets in her hands. "When was the last time that you bled? I ask only because it should have been four days ago, on my other rotation." She explains quickly in a series of stutters. I ponder for a moment. To my surprise, when I work back in time, I realize my blood has not returned ever since Aemond and I had sex, before we were wed.

      I close the book and sit up on the sofa. "Bring in a midwife, at once." My voice is soaked in urgency. The woman nods and runs off down the hall. I get up from the sofa and begin pacing around the seating area. Now is not the time for a child to make itself known. Now is not the time for my belly to swell. Now is not the time. Not when there is a war.

     The chamber doors crack open again and two midwives enter. One is much older, with graying hair, and the other has soft skin, nearly completely free of winkles. They both curtesy to me. I stop pacing.

      "My Lady," says the eldest one. "You blood is a week late. Is it usually so much so?" She asks. I shake my head in answer.

      "It is not," I answer. "It is always on time. To the hour. I get it every month on the thirteenth at four in the afternoon. Very rarely does the hour vary, but I do get it the same day, since I've started." I answer to the simplest of my ability. They exchange a look with one another.

      "How have your moods been? Have you experienced a change in your eating behaviors?" The younger one asks.

      "My moods seem to have expanded. When I feel anger, it is rage. When I feel sadness, it is a deep melancholy." I reply. "I have been uninterested in eating things I normally might. Instead, I want to try variations of these foods." My words are eager.

      The eldest midwife looks at me with wide eyes. "My Lady, you're with child." I blink. The whole world seems to go still and silent. On top of everything, now I have to protect the baby brewing inside of me. I part my lips to speak but nothing seems to come out. I back up and collapse onto the sofa. I sit with my head down and my hands resting on my knees. I know their observations must be correct. The midwives at the Red Keep are the best ones. I do not doubt their knowledge.

      "The King will not hear a word of this," I say to the both of them with a stern tone. "This is not the time for him to know." They both reply with deep nods, a vow that they will keep their word.

     "Please return in the morning so that we may discuss further what I need to do to ensure the safety of this child." They nod again then take off through the doors. I rest my head on the back of the sofa and close my eyes.

      The world feels so unbelievably heavy on my shoulders. Everything comes crashing down one after another. Aemond will not know about this until the war is over. I do not want to give him anything else to worry about. He already insists on my constant protection, therefore I cannot imagine how much he will be worried knowing that I am with child.

      I press the palm of my hand to my stomach. Though I'm wearing multiple layers that separate my stomach from the palm of my hand, I swear I can feel warmth. I close my eyes and imagine a little human swimming around in there. My child, Aemond's child. The thought brings me a smile even though it should not. Now I have one more reason to fight and win.

      "You are in for quite the journey, my child." I whisper to my belly.

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