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FIVE;
『 KILL THE MOOD 』

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ㅤ     I END UP CHANGE INTO SOMETHING NICER, as per Alicent's request. I'd rather not look like a grey goose among the white ones, therefore I've dresses in a more formal dress fit for someone attending a royal dinner. I had requested someone to help me with my braids, and help I got. Three women, none of them saying a word, each took a section of my hair and somehow braided it into this elegant hairstyle. I don't know how they did it without speaking a word to each other.

       One of them helped me to plump my lips and paste on the rosy tint to my cheeks. She even helped lace up my dress for me, which had been a large helped indeed. Back home, my mother is always there to help when I need something. Here I have no one. I have to rely on the company of the servants and no one else.

Well, perhaps one.

I stride through the halls, set on my destination of the courtyard, where dinner will be held. I'm not too sure why dinner is being served in the courtyard, seeing has winter is upon the lands and therefore it'll be cold. I made sure to bring a fur wrap for when the winds set in and the air grows even cooler. It's made of wolf fur, a thick white material that contrasts perfectly the pale blue of my dress.

The table is filled with everyone it had been last night. Alicent, Viserys, Aegon, and Aemond. There is a seat next to both Aegon and Aemond. I emerge from the shadows of the hall and take my seat next to Aegon, across from Aemond. Alicent watches me with a piercing gaze, I can feel it in my blood. Viserys greets me with a warm yet aged smile. As I'm reminded every time I see him, the years have not been kind to him.

Based on his body language, Aegon seems surprised that I chose to sit next to him. Although, I only did it so I could stare at Aemond without it looking mad, which is what would've happened if I had sat next to him. His eye narrows at me from across the table. He's bright, I'm sure he's aware of my tactics.

"Kind of you to finally join us." Alicent says with a cutting smile. My skin crawls at her tone. Something about the way she constantly sounds so passive makes my stomach churn. I turn to her and offer my best friendly smile, which looks more like a struggle for oxygen.

"Well, you see I was rather busy studying my High Valyrian." I fire back, knowing she knows little to nothing of the language besides a few commands directed for dragons. Her gaze falters away from me. I've won that battle.

"Skokhydo syrī dore a ydragho?" Aemond's voice calls from across the table. He's asking how well I speak High Valyrian.

"Dombo pār a." Better than you, I reply with a raise of my eyebrow. I can assure I've had more training in every language than he has. My mother and father have made sure to keep my wits strong, mostly because I am a woman. Having a stronger mind that blade may benefit me in some cases. There's nothing a man fears more than a smart woman.

Aemond shakes his head with a chuckle and takes a swift of his drink. Alicent still hasn't met my gaze again. Two to go, then. I'm on a roll tonight. Aegon shifts next to me. He must feel the tension. To my surprise, Viserys is the next to speak. Usually he does not, since his words usually turn into a downward spiral of sharp coughs.

      "Are you finding it comfortable here?" He asks gruffly. By comfortable, I'm aware that he means the company. I nod and bite off a chunk of meat from my fork and chew it before answering.

      "Indeed," I say, digging around my plate for the sauces. "I think perhaps I might need a few more days here, to fully take in the surroundings." I reply. A clattering echoes from the other side of the table. Alicent has dropped her fork onto her plate, filling everyone's ears with a ringing. Her eyes are wide as she looks at me.

       "Oh how lovely." Her lips turn into a faulty smile. She grabs her cup and sips on the wine inside. Well, less sip and more chug. The entire table watches as she wipes her lips with the back of her hand. I'm quite surprised to see her act in such of manor. People have called her the Mad Queen, but I hadn't expected it to be so true.

      The rest of dinner is practiced in silence. I steal glances at Aemond, who seems to be already looking at me every time I find my eyes wandering to him. He won't look away when our eyes meet. He keeps his gaze locked. I'm the one who has to look away, as nerves begin to crawl over me. I keep myself steady in motion as I preform my actions of eating and drinking. I keep my posture straight and my body language open. How one presents themself in body language is everything when words are not being spoken.

       Finally, after what seems like hours, the dinner dismisses. Alicent and Viserys trek back to their chambers and Aegon takes off just behind them. He seems eager to get somewhere. Aemond and I are left at the table across from one another. I lean back in my chair, full from the meal. My eyes graze across his face, though they stop in their tracks when I see his gaze piercing into me.

      "Did you enjoy dinner, Aemond?" I ask. I hope that my words divert his eyes away from me, but they do not.

       "I enjoyed the company more than the feast," he answers. "You sure do know how to keep tensions light." Sarcasm swims in his voice. It's true that I do not know how to keep a dinner anything but tense, usually.

      "Jeva mhysa qrinuntys an." Your mother hates me, I say. Alicent has long left, though these walls talk. The courtyard is open to anyone passing by, therefore my words are not safe here except in encrypted messages. Aemond leans forward to the table and rests his elbows on the edge. He raises his eyebrow slightly.

      "Ziry qrinuntys mirtys lua tha zvagizi sha yel." She hates anyone who isn't exactly like her, he says. That much is true. That is why she favors Aegon over Aemond. Aegon hones the exact ambition as his mother does, Aemond does not. Aegon seeks the throne as carelessly as she does, Aemond does not.

      "Dōres ziry qrinuntys a, pār?" Does she hate you, then? My words echo around the courtyard. They bounce through my mind moments after I've said it. He licks his lips, as if deep in thought. Perhaps it isn't something I should have said. I tend to overstep in my words.

      "Ziry sa iosre uvuve." She is close to. He says. I squint my eyes at him. He takes a swig from his drink, though not taking his eyes off of me.

       "Soon enough my brother will take all her sights and I will not. She will hate me then. I will have become too different from her, too estranged." He switches back to the regular language. Passerby's won't know who we're speaking about unless they know High Valyrian, a chance that is close to how many dragons there all in Westeros.

      "Do you ever wish to be more like Aegon?" Another question that seems to pluck at his heart. For that, I cannot blame him. I'm never compared to my brothers since I am a woman, therefore I cannot imagine the constant pressure that Aemond faces in the shadow of his older brother, the one who has already won the eternal favor of their mother.

      "No," his voice is rasp. "If I was more like Aegon, Westeros would be in complete chaos." He says. He isn't wrong. I shiver at the thought of Aegon having a twin- someone exactly like him in every aspect. Those two ambitions alone would ignite the entire country into a blistering fire that could not be put out.

"Well," I say. "I'm glad you're not like him." My words make him chuckle. I love seeing him smile. I never saw him smile when we were kids. He always had something to be upset about, I suppose, between the constant arguments by his parents and the torment of my brothers and his own.

"Why do you want to stay a few extra days?" His words spark my gaze back to him. "If you don't mind me asking, of course." He adds on quickly. I grin at the eagerness in his voice. He wants to know so badly, but he already knows. He just wants to hear me say it.

"Zy ao." For you. I say. I choose to be blunt in my answer and not make him chase, for once. I've had enough of tormenting those at the table, at least for one evening.

"Spoken in my favorite language." His voice taunts me. I push myself back in the chair and stand up. I nod my head in excusing and take off back to my chambers. I ate so much I think my stomach may bust out of this dress.

The hour is late, therefore there aren't many people roaming the halls, a view which I'm thankful for. I've already had to deal with Alicent, therefore I think that dealing with anyone else may drive me to accidentally fall off the highest tower. I push open the door to my chambers and recognize that my room is a mess. My clothes are scattered everywhere. My sheets are a mess. My jewelry is misplaced. Someone has been in here. I can not only see it, but I can feel it as well.

My heart thunders in my chest. Someone has been through my things. Someone has looted my room. Someone was searching for something in my things. Though, there would be nothing to be found. I haven't brought anything from home that would get me into trouble or raise concern. I look around at the mess and bite the inside of my cheek. There are only two people with enough immunity to do such a thing- Alicent and Aegon.

Aegon wouldn't have done it. He's still too young and knows he has too much to loose go put himself in such a position. Alicent may have, though she could risk herself even more. Many people already consider her to be mad, being caught rummaging through my things would only strengthen the claims against her. She could have hired someone, but even then there is a risky trail that could leave back to her.

I cant imagine anyone else who would have needed to search through my things for something. Those two are the only two in which I stand completely opposite of. I exit my chambers and slam the doors behind me. I head straight for Aemond's chambers. To this day, all these years later, I can still remember where they are. It's like the way has been etched into my mind.

I pound my fist on the door. I'm impatient and I'm angry. It's not a good combination. The door cracks slightly to where I can see just the slimmest of his eye. He blinks a few times then opens the door wider. I do my best to ignore the fact that he's wearing just training pants and a thin white shirt that shows his collarbones. I pull my eyes back up to his face.

"Someone has been in my room," my voice comes out spotty from the walk over. "My things are everywhere. Someone was looking for something." I explain. He searches me with his eye, as if taking in the emotion in my face. He nods and silently closes the door to his chambers. He walks silently by my side until we reach my chambers. I push open the door. He steps inside and looks around at the mess. I stand to the side with my arms crossed over my chest.

"What were they looking for?" He asks, turning over his shoulder to look at me. I shrug and look back to the mess in the floor.

"My guess is as good as yours." I answer. I see a servant in the hall and ask if she can help me pick things up. She does. I make Aemond stand outside so his eyes will be shielded from my undergarments and things. He does, though impatiently. Through the cracked door of my chamber, I can see him tapping his foot. He wants to help.

After we've finished picking everything up I dismiss her and she runs down the hall back to her other duties. I wave Aemond in and he rushes in, as if to help, then he sees that there's nothing left to help with.

"I could have helped." He says simply. I grin.

"I know." I say.

Silently, I open the doors to the balcony and step outside. I rest my hands on the rails. Aemond comes up behind me a few moments later. His hands find their way to my hips. My body shivers beneath his touch. His hands should not be on me in this way, it's wrong in many ways, though I find myself being unable to turn him away. His left hand stays on my hip and the other wraps around to my stomach. He holds me tight. He rests his head on my shoulder. Even from behind me, I can feel him having to bend down just to reach. The wind is cool. I cant imagine how cold he is. I'm wearing multiple layers and still goosebumps line my body.

"As a boy I thought my biggest wish to have a dragon," he says. I wonder what Vhagar has anything to do with what he'll say next. "Though, now as a man I realize I wish for you and that it has been you all along." His heart has opened to mine. I've broken the barriers keeping his heart in a locked box. Finally, he's expressed his feelings to me. We've been speaking in a cryptic way since I've been here. Neither of us have expressed our exact feelings as freely as he just has.

He can't see my face, but I smile. "And what will you wish for after that desire comes true?" I ask. His body tensed behind me. It's a tease of a question. That desire can only come true in marriage, then he will have me, all to himself.

      "After that I will wish for peace," he whispers directly into my ear. "I will need that with being married to you, after all." I could crumble beneath him. Truly.

      "And after that?" I ask. He pulls me tighter in his grasp. The hand on my hip travels closer to my thigh and his hand on my stomach presses tighter. I could wave foolish questions around him every day.

      "After that I'll be dead. There will be nothing more in life I'll wish for after that." He says. I turn my body to look at him. My body faces his, though his hand doesn't move from my hip. I watch as his breath comes out into the night air, creating a little cloud in front of his face. His breathing is heavy is uncertain, like someone who's just spent hours training.

      He looks down at me, his eye studies me, consumes me. My blinks grow heavier by the second. I feel so comforted, so safe by his tough. His other hand travels slowly to my neck, which he places his hand on gentle. His fingers snake around to the back of my neck, pulling me towards him. Only inches separate us. We're in the same scenario. His lips linger, his eyes beg. I cant help but give in to his needs.

       He tilts his head down and pushes his lips toward me. I try and back my head out of it at the last second, but his grip on my neck grows. I push back with my lips. I don't know how to kiss, how to touch lips the right way. He guides me. His jaw moves then mine does. We stay like that for a few, long moments. When his lips part from mine I almost can't believe that it's just happened. He looks down at me now with even more burning desire than before. I can see a flame ignited in his eye, it burns with no sign of stopping.

      "Have there been others?" I ask. "Before me?" My voice is scarce and quiet. He doesn't look away at the question or even flinch. His body language does not change and his grip around me does not loosen. He doesn't shy away at my question.

      "Others, yes." A stab. "Did any of them mean anything close to what you mean to me? No." He answers. He's healed the stab now. I don't even find myself worrying about what they looked like, what they did together, or what they meant to him. I trust his words as much as I'd trust my own mother. The way his tone was stripped of everything and just raw could tell me everything I'd need to know.

       "And what do I mean to you?" I ask. It's a fools question. I know what I mean to him and he knows I know as well. Perhaps I just want to hear him say it.

      "All the seven kingdoms and everyone in them." The rasp in his voice makes it all the more pleasing to hear.

      He leans down again and plants a kiss on my forehead then rests his forehead on mine. I wrap my hands around his shoulders and pull him in. The warmth of his body makes me forget all about the cold. His fingers run through my hair, raking out the braid that had since become loose. I can feel his skin through the thin fabric of the tunic. I open one of my eyes slightly and peek down at his shirt, which is thinner that I saw it to be before. I can see the outline of his entire body. My eyes travel to the defined lines surrounding his stomach. I flicker my eyes back up before he has a chance to catch my disfaithful stares.

       There isn't another soul I'd rather be this close to in the entirety of Westeros.

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