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"Hey, guys! This is Tessa Maxwell, and this is the Wired Autocomplete Interview!" Introductory music soon blasts out of the phone's speakers, but the image of Max on the screen pushes that tune into the background. "You can't even imagine how I'm feeling right now," Max laughs, holding up a cardboard with sentences with her name on it. "I've seen all of these videos, can't wait to have one of my own so my mum laughs at me this time."
Victoria smiles inevitably, almost stroking her fingertips across the YouTube screen, lit up with Max's smile. Under the sheets, the brightness of the screen is almost blinding, but Victoria is much more focused on the British girl, who seems to shine brightly in a video that only makes the Italian more and more captivated.
"So, the first question is... 'Where is Tessa Maxwell from?' Well, that's an easy question to start with. I've lived in Manchester, England, for about all my life. Since The X factor I moved to London, but yeah, I'm from Manchester. 'What is Tessa Maxwell favourite food?' I've been trying to eat healthily these past few years, but I always end up craving some chicken nuggets. It's not my fault they're delicious, ya know? 'What is Tessa Maxwell's zodiac sign?' Oh, I'm so bad at this. I've never been able to link the zodiac sign to the month you were been born in, but luckily for you I know mine. I was born on December 24th, so I am a Capricorn. I hope there's no slander about us Capricorns. 'What is Tessa Maxwell's favourite colour?' Well, I guess it depends on the situation. For example, if it's about clothes, I love wearing black and red, such elegant colours. But I think overall my favourite colour would be a greenish blue? Is that how you say it?" Max turns this time to the people behind the cameras, and laughs.
Victoria's pulse quickens and she pulls the covers off herself at the realisation. She looks at herself in her bedroom mirror, ignoring her bunny pyjamas or her completely dishevelled hair. She pulls her face even closer to the mirror before turning on the light, and it's only at the moment she realises that her eyes are only blue that she swallows and looks at herself in shame, thinking how sad it is that she's so desperate for Max to give her some sign that she still has feelings for her.
She huffs, pulling the warm sheets back over herself, and sees that the video is from a month and a half ago: there's no way Max could have forgotten about her in less than a month. The thought makes her feel a little better, though she's still hugely embarrassed to have checked what color her eyes are โas if she herself doesn't know better than anyone elseโ and she blushes slightly, grateful that there's no one in front of her to see it.
"'What is Tessa Maxwell's middle name?' Fantastic. I've never been one to use my middle name, the only place you'll probably see it written is in my high school diploma or something. But it's actually Grace. Yeah, quite the artists my parents were, right? Moving on!" The girl tosses the cardboard aside, smiling but visibly wanting to move on to other questions, and Victoria shakes her head with a laugh because even she didn't know her girlfriend's name was that.
It makes her think: really, how well did she know Max? She knows the girl made โand makesโ her heart race, her breath catch in her throat and her stomach turn, but what else does she know about her? She knows what her favorite film is, or her favorite thing to eat after a long day, but what is her worst fear? Where does she see herself in... ten years? Victoria is suddenly afraid that she has an idealised image of the girl in her head, and that she is really in love with someone she doesn't know that well.
It'd been a little over a month together, but Victoria was so happy... She wants to avoid thinking more, so she resumes the video.
"'Who is Tessa Maxwell's best friend?' Oh, man, why would you search this on the internet? I feel like the right answer to this is: my mum," she laughs, and behind the cameras there are amused snorts. "Ever since kindergarten my best friend's been a girl in my town called Sarah. We kind of parted ways after graduating and going to uni, but we still talk from time to time. If you see this, Sarah, I'm sorry to drag you into this. But nowadays my life's kind of changed from my old one, so I'd say my best friend's Louis, yeah," Max smiles at the camera in a much more sincere way than the photos Victoria has seen of the girl on Twitter, and her heart feels a little better seeing it. "I hope you choose me, too, you ****" The video is censored, but the Italian reads Max's lips as she speaks and smiles, knowing the relationship between the two Brits. "'Is Tessa Maxwell right-handed?' Well, I am not. But when I had my car accident a few months ago, I had to learn to write with my right hand, and turns out I wasn't that bad. A woman of many talents," Max winks at the camera, moving on to the next question. "'What is Tessa Maxwell's favourite song?' That's a good question. If you're talking about a song I can't get out of my mind, that would be Camila Cabello's 'Don't go yet'. It's so catchy, I'm always singing it to myself. And if you're talking about a good favourite right now, that would be Taylor Swift's 'All too well'. I don't even care I spend ten minutes of my life listening to it. I've done it, and I would do it over again."
Victoria laughs to herself, because the answer doesn't surprise her at all. She imagines in her head Max in her room, covered in a blanket up to her head, with a tissue in her hand watching the video clip of the song, and she knows perfectly well that it's something that could have happened. Despite her strong appearance, deep down Max is a sensitive person who is not afraid to show her feelings, so she is not surprised that Taylor Swift is the person who makes Theresa Maxwell sensitive.
She hears footsteps on the other side of the door, so she quickly locks her phone, places it on the bedside table and turns off the light, turning around instantly. The door opens slightly, just enough for someone to poke their head in and check that Victoria is asleep. Thomas nods to himself when he sees that everything is in order: he can't sleep because of insomnia, and he'd hate for any of his friends to be going through what he's going through, so he lets out a sigh of relief and closes the door on his way out.
The blonde lets a few seconds pass before she stops hearing the footsteps, and repeats the ritual again, pressing play.
"'Who does Tessa Maxwell support?' Oh, well, I believe you're talking about sports? I'm a huge Manchester United supporter back at home, so I'd say that and of course the English national team. I've had the chance to attend some basketball games in these past months, so I also like Los Angeles Lakers. I'm a fan of sports in general, but I always find my way back to the red devils. Chances are this person wasn't talking about sports, so feel free to scroll through my Instagram... Turns out I've been very vocal about it. Maybe too much," Max sneaks in the last sentence quickly, smiling anyway.
One of the things the Italian woman most admires about Max is her ability to stand up for what she believes in and how little fear she has of doing so. She remembers seeing informative videos on her Instagram about strikes, marches and protests, information about the elections, both American and those in her own country, without fear that they might refute her point of view, because Max does not shut up in the face of the arguments of those who think contrary to her. Victoria knows that Max might get into trouble online because of this, but she also knows that she doesn't care.
"'Which languages does Tessa Maxwell speak?' Well, less than I would like to, I assure you. I speak English, though sometimes for you Americans it may not seem like it, but I also know some Italian and Spanish. Some of my friends here speak Spanish, so I just know a few single words, like Hola, ยฟcรณmo estรกs? orย Yo estoy bien, ยฟy tรบ? Don't start speaking to me in Spanish because chances are I don't understand ****," Max laughs, removing the last piece of paper from the sentence. Victoria frowns slightly, because Max seems to have hesitated the moment she admits to speaking Italian. Why doesn't she talk about them? She understands that she's hurt her, but what about the rest of the band, she doesn't plan to talk to them anymore? "I believe this is the last question. What TV show is Tessa Maxwell watching right now?' Okay, a bit straightforward, this one is. Truth is, I'm not watching any new TV show, I'm just waiting for the last season of Peaky Blinders, so in the meantime I'm watching again the whole series so I don't forget any of it. Great actors, great plot, so yeah, give it a try if you haven't yet," Victoria huffs, not knowing how to show her helplessness. Max still remembers her, she has to, it's impossible for her to mention the show without remembering so many nights watching it together, when Max was still oblivious to everything a younger, inexperienced Victoria felt. All was not lost, was it? "I want to thank the Wired crew for being so cool with me, and you guys for looking up such questions for me to answer. I hope your concerns have been solved. Until next time!"
The Italian sighs, knowing this is the closest she'll be to Max in a long time. She can't help but think how beautiful she looks, even through that ridiculous screen, how much she misses her voice, the confidence she seems to have gained in this time, the charisma she radiates and the change in her image that makes her look slightly older than she remembers her. She thinks about what will become of her life now, whether she still likes black coffee in the mornings, whether she is alone in that huge flat, whether she is happy, whether she will miss her as Victoria does.
The video ends, and as Victoria hasn't cancelled the next one to load, it does load. It's a more recent video from Max, from just a week ago, and it already has ten million views. 'Spill your Guts or Fill your Guts w/ Tessa Maxwell and Ariana Grande', reads the title, and Victoria remembers seeing an earlier edition, so she clicks, mostly because of the presence of her ex-girlfriend.
"Okay, these are the rules. I will be the one asking you, Tessa; you will ask Ariana, and Ariana will ask me. Should one of us not answer the question, then we will eat whatever the one who asks chooses for us. May I present to you ladies... these delicious meals?" The faces of the two girls quickly fall when they see the disgusting dishes in front of them. Salmon smoothie, cow's tongue, hot-dog juice... Victoria wrinkles her nose, disgusted just at the name and appearance of certain dishes. Max makes a gagging noise when a jelly-covered scorpion is placed in front of her, and the audience laughs, "You can go first, Tessa. What can I choose for you? I think I'll go with the cod's sperm."
"Yeah, there's no way I'm eating that. I'll answer whatever," Max laughs at first, but reaches over to sniff the plate and covers her mouth with her hand, inciting giggles from James and Ariana.
"I guess we'll see. So, Tessa. You are a self-confessed fan of Ariana here since you were young. That being said, rank Ariana's boyfriends from best to worst: Jai Brooks, Big Sean, Pete Davidson and Dalton Gomez," James Corden bursts out laughing at Max's frightened expression as she covers her face with her hands, and the audience also laughs at the drama between the two young women.
"I mean, I feel like I could answer that," Max confesses, with laughter infecting them all. "I don't want to eat that. It smells hideous, man. You know what? I'm going to eat it," some of the audience gasps as others laugh, James is taken aback and Ariana covers her mouth with both hands in disgust. "I've got your back," without a second thought, she quickly brings her fork to her mouth, chewing to the shocked looks of the people around her, who clap.
"I'm feeling like I owe you big time," Ariana laughs.
"Maybe because you do!" murmurs Max, still bent over, wiping her lips with a napkin and reaching for the glass of milk to get that horrible taste out of her mouth. "Wait until I choose your dish. Which I think it's going to be..."
Victoria skips some parts of the video. It's not that she's not interested in what's going on with Ariana and James, but she's so desperate for content from the brunette that she'll do anything to see her quickly. She stops the video several times when she sees that she's laughing, and she looks radiant with her dark wavy hair, slightly longer than shoulder length, her striking blue eyes, maroon lipstick and stylish outfit.
In the end, Ariana is spared a piece of lamb's brains and James has to sink his teeth into the cow's tongue for reasons Victoria doesn't find out. The question time returns to Max, who pretends her hands are shaking and a shiver runs through her body as James stops the plate of salmon smoothie in front of her. And Victoria knows that Max hates salmon.
"I hate salmon, so I'm actually going to answer that question. Fire away," Victoria smiles a little as Max just reaffirms her thoughts.
"Theresa Maxwell," James' smirk is telling, and this makes the audience laugh as Max shares a fearful look with Ariana, who struggles not to laugh. "We actually know that you're a very private person, but have you ever dated someone famous without the tabloids knowing?"
Max literally slaps her forehead, and the audience can't seem to stop laughing at her gestures, captivated with her obvious charisma. Victoria sits up a little in her bed, aware that the answer may be very different, depending on whether Max decides to incorporate her into her statements or not. The purpose of the game is to tell the truth or eat whatever is in front of her, and she doubts Max will lie in public rather than not drink that damn salmon smoothie, as much as she hates it. Her heart races a little at the mere thought of Max considering her enough to respond.
But soon after, it dawns on her that Max has been away from her for almost three months, living in Los Angeles and meeting new, famous and influential people almost every day, so whatever the answer is, it could be a straight dagger to Victoria's heart. She might say yes, and that person might not be Victoria, or she might say no, which would mean that she's either lying or doesn't consider Victoria something serious.
"I told you I would answer that, so that's what I'm going to do. Yeah, I have."
The audience applauds and Victoria stirs, slightly uncomfortable. The door to her room opens again and the video is stopped by the sudden movement of the girl, who doesn't have time to turn off the lamp on her bedside table and leave her phone on the furniture. Thomas sticks his head into the room, clicking his tongue, and when he sees that, as he thought, Victoria is still awake, he goes into her room. He's careful not to make too much noise when he closes the door, because the two other boys are asleep, and sits down in the swivel chair at her desk, glancing briefly at the open suitcase at the foot of her still-empty bed.
"I guessed you weren't sleeping. I've heard you laugh several times. You're not as good at hiding as you think you are," Thomas' eyes squint, accusing her teasingly. "What were you watching?" Victoria uncovers herself from the sheets, knowing she's been found out, but says nothing. She understands there's no point in lying to Thomas, to her friend, so she shows him the still video and, unlike what the young woman expects, the blond laughs. "That's a good one. Did you see the look on her face when it's her turn to eat that thing? Almost worse than the one she made when Damiano tried to cook fish and chips."
Victoria laughs too, conjuring up the memory at times. The brunette tried to be polite, reminding him that it was a recipe that few places could get right, but her face couldn't hide the fact that the fish, behind the frying, was basically raw. "I didn't know you'd seen the video."
"Of course I've seen it. I've been watching every interview she does since she left. She's my friend too, you know?" Thomas reminds her, and though Victoria tries not to take it as an attack, there's a lilt in Thomas's voice that makes her think that she was important to the rest of the guys too, and that Victoria shouldn't forget that. "It sounds like she's living a different life. But I'm glad she's doing well. It's just that sometimes I wish things could go on the way they used to. I think about whether she'll miss us bothering her at home, or whether she misses being with us here, in the villa, watching us rehearse, travelling with us."
"I think about that sometimes," Victoria admits in a breathy whisper, and Thomas knows the girl is going to keep talking, so he pulls the chair closer to her bed. "But I also think about how different things are now. I look at her and I don't see Max. I know it's crazy, that it's been too short a time for things to have changed that much, but I see her differently. I think about how good those months were, and I also think that maybe now she doesn't even remember them as much as we do. She's a superstar now, isn't she? It's like we were just a distraction, and now she's really enjoying it."
"Hey," Thomas nudges her lightly. "That's not true. You know as well as I do that the five of us enjoyed our time together as children. She helped us a lot, but we helped her, too. Especially you, Vic. I assure you that by teaching her to love the way you did, she'll be able to live a much better life. I promise you that girl was crazy about you. From the outside we could see the way you looked at each other and it was real."
"I hate to speak in the past tense, Thomas," Victoria confesses, covering her face, and Thomas looks at her sadly. "I made the biggest mistake of my life by letting her go after everything we'd been through, after everything we were about to go through. I did it with the intention of taking the weight off her back with me in the relationship, but I've realised that I'd rather be selfish: I'd rather have her in my life and have to hide than have to settle for seeing her from afar. I love her, and I love her now."
"Then it's time to get your girl back," Thomas glances back at the suitcase. "The first step to that is to start packing. I can help you pack it, if you'd like. I have a great sense of fashion, you know."
Victoria raises her eyebrows. "You?"
"I'm not taking arguments from the girl in bunny pajamas," Thomas points his finger at her and opens the wardrobe. "Go throw things in. In a matter of days we'll be in Hungary. This is your chance to get her back, Vic."
"I don't even know if she's going. The EMAs might be too little for her now, right?"
"Come on, Vic. It's true that we don't know for sure yet how many people will be there, but there's no way someone like her won't be there. She'll fly all the way from the States if she has to. Besides, she just released a song, there's no way she won't come and sing. I assure you she'll be there, Victoria, and she'll be happy to see you," the boy gently strokes the blonde's head, somewhat thoughtfully but suddenly feeling much better. "So, come on, something leather or elastic?"
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