╔═════*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═════╗

our fate lives within us; you
only have to be brave enough
to see it. 

──● merida
BRAVE

╚═════*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═════╝

✦

"Merlene?"

Merlene blinked hard, resurfacing from her deep thinking for only a moment as she raised her head to the scene before her. Rune was standing stock still on a small, somewhat circular platform, while Delaney rushed around her, adjusting pins and fixing the fabric that curled over Rune's legs. Her sister had both her headphones on, noise-cancelling so she could focus, and to avoid her becoming overly startled while holding somewhat sharp objects. Delaney said it was good for her anxiety, and Merlene wasn't really one to judge anyway. 

Rune's gaze was sharp; trained on her as Merlene looked up from her chair and notepad, dismissing the running river of mindlessness in her head. Mer had decided she wanted to ask about what it felt like. Being in love, or having a crush on someone. She wasn't really sure if she was being honest. Not because she thought she'd never had one before, but because whenever someone got close enough where she could like them, she ended up shutting down and avoiding them whenever possible.

"Right." Merlene's gaze held Rune's for a moment, swallowing the hesitance in her voice. "I just, wanted to know what it was like - to have a crush I mean."

It's true, she could have asked her siblings, but they'd only tease her, pestering her about who the hell she might have a potential crush on, and in complete honesty that was the one thing Merlene wanted to avoid the most. Besides, getting someone else's perspective, someone who didn't grow up in their household, could be eye-opening.

"I mean, what's it like to be in love, or- what made you realize you were in love, or you liked that person and didn't want to be just friends."

It was hard, saying this outloud, but she'd practiced in front of her mirror. The words came out easier than she thought they might. Rune's eyebrow raised in sharp contrast to her nearly expressionless features. "If you're looking for one definition of love, Merlene. I'm afraid I can't really help you. Love can be, and is, a lot of things. It's complex and convulated, while also being unfairly simple." Rune's eyes trailed down to where Delaney was, clearly delightfully unaware of the conversation, and Merlene heard her voice soften. "I'm sorry. I truly don't think i'm able to describe it to you."

"That's alright."

There was enough said in the way Rune looked at Delaney. Like she was everything the entire world had to offer. Like she was something beyond words.

I want to be looked at like that.

----------

"Love is about finding someone similair enough to get along with, and different enough to be interesting." Rhys spoke from where he was sketching on the steps of the Morrigan Estate. He'd come over to wait for Kasumi, who'd forgotten about their date. She'd been incredibly flustered, but Rhys had assured her that there was no shame in waiting a little until she was ready. His smile was fond as he drew effortless arcs and lines. 

"Really?" Merlene had sat beside him, pulling her knees to her chest. The sky was bright above her, chittering birds dancing through the azure atmosphere. It only reminded her a little more of that day in the forest.

"Really." Rhys' pencil paused on the paper, as if thinking for a moment. "Me and Kassy are very different people, and I love that about us, but if we didn't have anything in common, we wouldn't work." He laughed then, resuming his drawing, "So it's a really good thing we do, cause I think I might be lost without her."

"Lost?"

Rhys paused again, before looking at her, setting down his pencil entirely. "Kasumi is comforting. Her presence to me, just her existence beside me is incredibly comforting, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Sometimes she's all I need to feel a little clarity in my life. I love her."

"Have you told her yet?" Merlene's question is quiet, but there's that building tension still as the world seems to fall silent around them too.

"Yes." Rhys smiled again, turning back to his paper. "I don't plan on ever taking it back either."

---------- 

"How could you love someone who hurt you?" 

The words felt loud and hollow in the ice rink, but the question had bit at Merlene's being for a long time now. Even if it was obvious the two were over it, sometimes the thought of someone doing that to her made her feel even more scared of love than she already was. Leo pulled to a stop on the ice in front of the barrier where she sat before leaning over it. "You mean Akiho?"

"Yeah."

"Love isn't a choice Merlene." Leo shrugged a little, "And Akiho didn't mean to hurt me. I understand that he made a desicion to hurt someone, because he thought that person hurt his friend." He brightened a little, "If someone hurt my family, or my friends, I'd be really upset too. Akiho was upset, about a lot of his things in his life at the time, and although that doesn't justify his actions, it does help me understand at the very least where he was coming from." Leo smiled more then, fonder that time as he looked up at the arching ceiling of the ice rink. "Akiho didn't give up on how he felt about me, even if he could have. Love is about continuing to try for each other, even if you fight. It's about accepting when you're wrong, and moving past it anyway." He pushed off the side, then, his skate catching on the ice behind him. "At least, that's what it is to me."

"Does it still hurt?"

"In a way, I think it always will." Leo nodded. "But mainly, I feel hurt because he thought I wouldn't accept him for who he was because of the people I surrounded myself with. Just because i'm not a bad person, or have beliefs against being gay, doesn't mean the people I was friends with did. I don't blame him for that at all. It's not my fault he jumped to conclusions, but it is my fault that that was an option in his head, that I might somehow hate him because he liked guys. It's my fault my ex-friends thought it was okay to threaten him for his sexuality because I never really stood up for my own beliefs around them."

"What did you do?"

"I love Akiho. It makes me sad to think about people hating him for who he is, while not having anyone to run too. So I told my friends that if they had a problem with him, they had one with me, and I'd known my sexuality for a long time. Akiho didn't make me gay, all he did was love me for exactly who I was. He made me realize I never want to hide who I am ever again."

-------- 

"Love can be a lot of things." Emlyn's voice was soft, staring at the sky towering above them both. Merlene did feel a little guilty about taking advantage when Jady stepped out of the room to talk to Delaney, even if she had good reasoning. They were having a picnic is what it looked like, just in the ballroom. Yume had set up a large projector for the both of them facing the wall so they could have a little date. It was really sweet, even if Merlene's idea of a picnic date would most certainly be outside.

"Are you in love with Jady?"

"I don't know." She shook her head, looking back at her. "We haven't said it to each other yet, and honestly, I don't know." Emlyn sighed then, just a little before smiling. "But I do think Jady would  be a very easy person to love. I think it's kinda hard to not love her. I already know I love her like a friend, but you can love someone as a friend, and as a partner."

"Right."

"At least, that's what my mom always said. She married her best friend. And I think your partner should be your best friend, or at the very least one of them. It can be kinda hard at first, separating platonic and romantic feelings, but I don't see why you can't have both in a relationship."

"Yeah." Merlene nodded a little, pushing to her feet. "Thanks Emlyn."

"No problem."

----------

"Love is about finding someone who makes you feel like yourself." Sage pullled her own legs up in her graduation gown. Merlene had graduated with Junpei last year, and now she was watching her siblings, Akiho and Elijah do the same. Of course, that did mean their partners were graduating as well. Merlene had managed to find Sage after Elijah was pulled away by a multitude of friends to take pictures with. Not that Sage really seemed to mind.

"Elijah makes you feel like yourself?"

"Yes." Her voice is warm, laced with honey and golden stardust. "I don't have to hide who I am at all around him. I don't feel like I have to pretend to like or dislike something. And while, yes, sometimes I do tell him i'm fine when i'm not, he always seems to know." Sage smiled again, setting her head in the valley between her knees. "I'm not scared when I'm with him- and not, not in the way where like I've been abused or anything, but in the way where I don't feel scared about being myself, about laughing, or talking during movies, or giggling about stupid fucking chemistry jokes." She sighed again, "Love is about finding the person who makes you feel safe."

Safe.

"I want to feel safe." The words are out before she even realizes it, and Merlene watches Sage pause, then turn to her.

"You will."

----------

"Love is something that tests you." Behind Arietta, the morning was shimmering with warmth. Thick California nostalgia ran deep into her soul, burying itself among copper-coated memories of their trip. It had been a little strange no doubt, for Arietta to recieve a text from Merlene, asking if they could talk for a second whenever she got the chance. Merlene almost hadn't done it. But she'd made it this far, and frankly if she didn't do all the siblings with partners, she'd feel guilty somehow. 

"Tests you?"

"It's something that is going to require sacrifice, and solid communication." She laughed a little, "The latter was something that me and Kei did not have for a little while. But- Merlene, Love is something that is hard. Sometimes it hurts, but it's worth it."

"Really?" Merlene didn't know if anything that hurt you was worth it, but, she guessed that maybe it was a little like archery. When she'd been new to it, just a little girl, she used to scratch up her arms all the time. She'd get rebound from the bow, or would trip over her feet, or would feel discouraged about missing the target. Sometimes those things did still happen, but it didn't bother her as much anymore. Because she loved it. Because it was a part of her, and she'd gotten better at it. Merlene didn't mind if archery had hurt her once, because it didn't now.

Maybe love was a little like that.

----------

"Love is about finding someone who makes you a better person." Seth pulled to a slow stop on their run. Junpei couldn't come today, and frankly had been very upset about Seth running alone (despite him doing it multiple times), so Merlene went with him. She actually did like running, and had gone on more than a few with Jun anyway, so she could keep up. "Jun makes me a better person." He pulled his water from his bag, taking a drink.

Merlene mirrored the action, closing her bottle back up before looking to him again, "How so?"

"Junpei is kind, and giving, and sweet, and I want to be the kind of person who deserves him. So I do my best to be my best so I can love him the way he deserves to be loved. Junpei makes me a better person. I'm still not sure if I make him one, but I know he does for me, so I'm gonna keep trying to become better for him every day."

"Huh." Merlene thought on that for a moment, looking up at the sky in drawing in deep, lung-filling air. "I think you make Jun a better person too." She was pretty close with Junpei. They'd gone to highschool together, they graduated together, of course she was. "He seems to like himself a lot more when you're around."

Seth shook his head. "All I do is highlight the wonderful things about him. Things he forgets a lot. Love is about loving your partner the way they need, not the way you do. I mean, it doesn't really apply to me and Jun, cause our love languages match up pretty well." He grinned, dropping his leg from his stretch as he went to begin running once more. "Then again, not everyone can be the perfect couple."

-----------

"Why are you asking me?" Suga looked up at her, tilting his head slightly from where he was sitting at her father's desk. It wasn't all that uncommon now for Suga to come over, ushering her father to get some actual fucking sleep while he worked instead. He'd become someone normal to have over, and Merlene didn't really mind. Especially when her dad could be so goddamn stubborn.

"Well, don't you have a crush on my dad?"

Suga's cheeks flared, and for a moment, he looked shocked, "Well, I-"

"I don't care by the way, if you do. But you asked why I'm asking you, and I want to know what a crush feels like. Like, actually feels like. A real one."

He looked bewildered for a second, but just sighed, letting his eyes fall back to the paper he'd been working on. "Sometimes it feels a little bit like lonliness. Like you would do anything for them to look at you the way you look at them for even just a second. Sometimes it hurts, because they can't like you the way you like them. Sometimes it's scary, and unforgiving, and horrible."

"Well that's not helpful."

Suga smiled then, just a little as he shook his head. "It can also be really nice. Because you realize how happy you are when you're with them, or how excited you feel when you see them outside of your normal routine. Crushes are absolutely the worst part of life if it's a real one, because you wish they could be yours. But when it does happen, if it does happen, you'll realize it was worth the wait, no matter how agonizing. They can be really fun, honestly, because it's like you know a secret they don't, only it's the good kind. Like when you surprise them with their favorite food. It's like a harmless little prank." He laughed a little, "Because they'll smile at you like you're their everything, and it's a really good feeling, even if it only lasts a moment."

"How can you tell?" Merelene again feels like the world is quiet around her, and there's a slow, solid realization that Suga feels this way about a very particular person. The examples are much to specific to be general, after all.

"You have to ask yourself, how you feel about this person, and why you feel this way about this person. What do you want your relationship to be like, if you had one - and not in the way where you dream up stupid little scenerios with a school crush of yours,  no. A real relationship." He blinked evenly at her, then shrugged again. "That's how you'll know."

Merlene slowly nodded, turning on her heel, but paused again as Suga once again began speaking.

"Oh, and Merlene?" She met his softened gaze, "Good luck with whoever it is. You're still young, you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do."

✦

✦ WYN ✦

- so i thought i would try
something a little 
differenttt

- i hope you like it !! 

What was your character's highschool graduation like? How did they feel? Keep in mind Elliot (senior year) and Jady (junior year) are the only two who haven't graduated - so for them, what do they want it to be like?

──● answers