Fandom: Peaky Blinders
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC
Song prompt: Out Like a Light by the Honeysticks
Warnings: angst, no dialogue
Word Count: 1215

take me uptight, strung up like a kite.

Tommy Shelby wasn't one to fall in love. Before and after the war, he was a stone-cold lover. He never got attached to any woman. That was until Louise. Louise Weathers, the baker that lived down the street from him. Her slim figure was always clad in a long, floral dress and her dark locks were usually secured in a messy bun on the top of the head. Her face was one that could reduce any man to their knees.

But Tommy tried his best to keep his composure around her whenever she'd deliver her baked goods to his pub or whenever his son, Charlie, wanted to go to her bakery. He tried, at least. But the second that her brown eyes would look into his icy blue ones, he'd become as nervous as a whore in a church.

He kept a good grip on his emotions and feelings, like a boy desperately trying to keep ahold of his kite on a windy day. He knew better than to speak to her - if he did, he'd only slip up and mess everything up. But that didn't stop him from thinking about her. Constantly.

dumb, wicked and white. love me in spite if i betrayed our lonely nights.

Even though Grace had already been dead for well over a year now, Tommy felt like he was betraying her. All he was doing was thinking of another woman and he couldn't rid the guilt to surged through his body. It was idiotic, really. He knew it was. But the visions of Grace he occasionally got made him hate the idea of Louise - the idea of them together, that is.

Even if Tommy did anything about his feelings towards Louise, he knew that the brunet girl wouldn't go for him - he was a wicked man with a wicked past and an even worse future. But he was still a man with a heart. A little one, some would say, but still, one that needed love. He would regrettably ponder the idea of him and Louise together. Would she ever love him with the dangerous lifestyle that he lived?

spent out like a light with no kiss goodnight.

After months and months of fawning over Louise, he had finally asked her out on a date. Of course, Louise wasn't a stupid girl. She knew who Tommy was and how dangerous it would be for her to get involved with him. But she couldn't deny his charming smile and attractive looks, that and she absolutely adores Charlie. So she said yes. That one date, lead to another and another and this carried on for nearly 11 months until Tommy proposed. And Louise, stupidly, said yes.

It was too quick for Louise's liking but Tommy had proposed in front of all his family members during dinner and the hopeful looks from his brothers, sister and Polly made her horribly. Plus, who knows what they would've done if Louise said no.

She loved him, of course. But she didn't want to be tied down to him. She didn't want to have his children. She didn't want to die because of her marriage to him.

After they married, their relationship took a turn for the worse. They would talk due to his countless business trips. It got to the point where they couldn't even give the other a kiss goodnight.

we never fight, when i'm away.

Although it wasn't an ideal love, she preferred being locked away in his mansion with Charlie, rather than seeing Tommy every day. Both knew that the toxicity of their relationship only increased when they were around each other. When Tommy was home, their fights would last into the early morning, keeping the poor Charlie awake in his room.

Neither felt loved anymore.

did your mother always seem to hate me?

The Weathers despised Tommy for dragging their precious Louise into the Peaky business. And the Shelbys grew to hate Louise the longer that she had not given Tommy another child. The shift in their relationship was evident to everyone, even their gardener who came twice a month noticed the loveless marriage.

But no one would talk about it. As if it were a forbidden taboo. Frowned upon even. And Louise knew that everyone thought it was her fault. After all, it was the wife's duty to serve her husband's every need - and that includes carrying the marriage single-handedly.

i'm sicker every day and now i'm terrified of talking to my friends only to stay stuck dreaming of our firstborn and your hair covered in popcorn.

The longer Louise was stuck behind Tommy with the ghastly golden ring glued to her finger, the sicker she got. She wouldn't eat or talk. She'd only sleep for about 4 hours a night and get dressed into an expensive dress that Tommy dug up from Grace's hidden wardrobe for special events that he dragged her to.

Louise had lost contact with her friends at the bakery so she couldn't seek help from anyone. They thought she was happy. Why else would she agree to marry the Brummie gangster?

Tommy, on the other hand, would constantly tell his brothers his worries about his wife. Personal worried that should only be voiced to Louise, and Louise alone. He'd tell Arthur and John that he was worried that Louise couldn't get pregnant or how she wasn't kissing him or she wasn't eating. He would ask his brothers how he should get the marriage back on track, but neither Arthur nor John knew what to suggest.

He sourly missed the times when they were dating where they would go on picnics where she would throw grapes into his open mouth or to the cinema where they would watch horror movies and she'd jump, throwing their popcorn over the both them both.

you never leave, you never leave, you never leave.

Tom was stuck in a fantasy where they would stick together forever. But he knew that they wouldn't last. If wasn't fair to keep Louise locked up with him. She deserved a better man than him. But his selfish heart couldn't let her go.

That was until he came home late one night to see a note waiting for him on the table in the lounge.

With a furrowed brow, he picked up the small of paper and unfolded it to reveal Louise's pretty cursive handwriting.

'Tommy,

I'm sorry. I can't keep up with this facade that we're both trying to uphold.
It breaks my heart to leave you and Charlie behind in my journey, but it would break me even more to stay.
Don't come after me, Tommy. We both know that this was going to happen.
I did love you, Thomas Shelby, once upon a time. And I'm sure that one day in the future, I'll look back on your time together and will love you once again. But for now, I must go off and look own life, rather than following yours.
In another life...

Yours,
Louise Weathers.'

He dropped the letter back to the table where his eyes caught sight of a sliver of silver and gold. There, sat her wedding and engagement rings.

And like that Tommy Shelby's heart shattered and his light had finally went out.

THE END