CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

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smut

          THE BRUNETTE HEARD HIM COME UP THE STAIRS OF THE HOME THEY WERE CURRENTLY RESIDING IN. Her door stood ajar and the stairs creaked under the weight of his heavy boots. He walked straight past her room and she assumed he was trying to find his own when she heard a soft knock on the teen's door.

"Ellie?" he called quietly, wanting to see if she was still up.

The girl had snuck out of the dining hall halfway throughout the movie and Lucia hadn't even noticed until she came stalking back, in a terrible mood about ten minutes later. They went to the home together and then Ellie had locked herself into her bedroom.

Lucia slid off her bed, pulling on the hem of her shirt to cover herself a bit as she walked out into the hallway. Goosebumps erupted on her legs as cold swept onto her bare skin. The woman wasn't going to deny the fact that she was going to eavesdrop, but in her defence she was worried.

"Is this really all they had to worry about?" wondered Ellie, looking through an old journal she had found inside her room. "Boys. Movies. Deciding which shirt goes with which skirt. It's bizzare."

"Listen," began Joel.

"Why are you here?" demanded Ellie, looking up from the journal.

"I came here to talk to you."

"No," she glared and bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from crying. "why are you still here? If you're gonna ditch me, ditch me. Have you even told Lucia yet what you're planning?"

Lucia furrowed her brows together, confused as she leaned against the wall on the landing. Ditch Ellie? Tell Lucia what? To say she was confused was an understatement and she felt as if she had missed something entirely.

It was silent for a moment and Lucia took a small step closer when she heard his voice loud and clear. "What exactly did you hear?"

"'I have to leave her. You have to take her.'" cited the teen as she shook her head. "You know, I stood up for you today because I thought ... you know what nevermind."

Ellie couldn't even finish what she wanted to say, too hurt to even look him in the eyes as he said, "I made this decision for your own good. You will be way better off with Tommy and Lucia. He knows the area better than I do and Lucia -"

"Do you even give a shit about me or not?" demanded Ellie, snapping the journal closed and getting to her feet.

"Of course, I do." muttered Joel.

"Then what are you so afraid of?"

The brunette pushed herself off the wall and stepped into the doorway, arms crossed over her chest. The woman didn't care that she was just in a long sleep shirt nor did she give a fuck that it was freezing cold. Lucia was fucking pissed at the thought of Joel just leaving them after everything they'd been through. Was he even going to fucking tell her about this or was he just going to disappear?

"What is she talking about, Joel?"

The smuggler whipped his head toward her and blinked at her appearance for just a second before wetting his lips as he swiped his tongue over them. He felt trapped, he couldn't handle both of them at the same time and they knew that.

"Joel?" she pressed, narrowing her eyes. 

"I can't do this." he muttered, shaking his head carefully. "I can't come with you to the Fireflies. Tommy will take you both, it's better that way."

"For you or for us?" demanded Lucia.

"It's just the way it's gonna be." he stated firmly, trying to leave no room for argument as he looked between the two woman he had spent months travelling with. "I can't keep either of you safe anymore."

"I'm not her, you know." began Ellie and Joel inhaled a sharp breath. "Maria told us about Sarah and -"

"Don't." grunted Joel, shoulders going stiff. "Don't say another word."

"I'm sorry about your daughter, Joel." uttered Ellie, taking a step toward him. "But I have lost people, too."

"You have no idea what loss is."

"Joel -" Lucia snapped.

"Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody, fucking except for you two!" Ellie pushed at his chest with all her might, tears welling up in her eyes. "So don't tell me that i'd be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared."

"You're right." nodded Joel, unreadable expression on his face. "You're not my daughter. And I sure as hell ain't your dad. Now, come dawn, we're goin' our separate ways."

The smuggler turned around and pushed past Lucia and she stumbled out into the hall just as Ellie let out a frustrated scream and slammed her door shut, locking it out of anger. Another door slammed within the home and Lucia flinched. Her legs were moving before she knew it and she pushed the door open of the only available bedroom left, wanting to scream her head off at the smuggler.

"What the fuck is your problem?" she demanded, glaring at the back of his head. Joel didn't bother to turn around. "What has gotten into you, huh? You've been acting weird all week and now you're going off on Ellie just because you think you can't keep us safe or some bullshit?"

"Not now," he grunted, shaking his head as he tried to even out his breathing. "before I say somethin' else I might regret."

"Say whatever you want." she fumed, clenching her fists together. "It's not going to change the fact that you're acting like an asshole right now and Ellie didn't deserve that."

He turned to face her and she knew he was angry, god he was furious but it wasn't directed at her or Ellie and she knew that the moment their eyes met in the dimly lit room.

"What is going on, Joel?" she tried, her voice softened. "Just talk to me."

He began to shake his head, letting himself sit down at the edge of the mattress as he held his head in his hands. Lucia didn't know whether to comfort him or stay away, she opted for the latter as she watched him from the door opening and she carefully closed his door behind her.

"I can't do it, Lu." he confessed, and she heard his voice crack. "It's too much. It hurts too much."

"What does?" she pressed, deciding it was safe to sit on the edge of the bed beside him. Their legs rested against one another and he took in another sharp breath.

"This," he confessed, rubbing at his eyes. "all of this. You. Ellie. It's too much. I don't want to do this again. I can't. Somethin' horrible is going to happen and I am too old to protect either of you from it. You're both better off without me. I was never a good fit from the start. Tommy will take you to the Fireflies and that's final."

"You're not the one who gets to decide what's best for me or Ellie." said Lucia after a moment, and tried to catch his gaze. "That is not up to you, Joel. You have kept us safe more times than I can count, I don't see how this is going to be any different."

"Lucia, please -"

"Is it your heart?" she muttered. "Do you have health issues?"

"No," he breathed, finally meeting her dark gaze. 

"You're scared something is going to happen to either of us." she stated, nodding to herself. "You're scared that it's going to be your fault and that's why you're leaving us. You don't want our death on your -"

"No, that's not it." he admitted. "I can't do this because ... "

His eyes flickered over her face, taking in every freckle, every scar and every other little mark that he could find on her skin. He wanted to remember her face the way it is right now. He wanted to get her lifeless eyes out of his mind. He saw them every time he closed his eyes and he needed something else to remember.

"Tell me, Joel."

"Because ..." Lucia didn't pull away when he reached up to cup her cheek in his hand, nor did she pull away when he leaned closer, barely pressing his lips to hers. "If something happens to either of you because I was too slow, or because I was to deaf to hear it, I would never forgive myself for it."

Lucia swallowed, feeling heat rush to her cheeks. "You forget that Ellie and I are perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves. We don't want Tommy, Joel. We want you."

"I know," he muttered, and softly pressed his lips against her own.

The woman hummed against him and leaned into his touch. The words they'd exchanged slowly disappeared from her mind as his lips worked against her own. Joel pressed his mouth against her a little firmer and wrapped his other hand into the softness of her dark hair.

"I'm sorry," he uttered, peppering her face with kisses.

"Don't leave us." Lucia brought her arms around his neck and pulled him flush against her chest and he could feel the hardness of her nipples against his own. 

"I promise." he nuzzled his nose against her throat and almost moaned at the feel of her pressed up against him. 

It was as if his worries vanished the moment their lips touched and all he ever wanted to do was be this close to her. He had refrained himself from doing so the last three months but now that all his emotions had spewed from his mouth and left his trembling mind he couldn't think of anything else.

"Do you want -" he trailed off, not taking his mouth away from her skin as she threw her head back and let him do whatever it is he was doing.

"Yes," she breathed, no hesitation in her voice as a moan escaped her.

That was all the encouragement he needed and she was on her back against the mattress a second later, Joel hovering over her body as he swiped at her lip with his tongue. The weight of his body above hers felt comforting and she pulled him closer, opening her mouth for him.

He tasted of alcohol but she didn't mind. He was Joel and no matter what he would always be perfect just for her. He kissed her with an urgency that only she could match and one of his hands trailed down her arm and to her waist, squeezing the flesh there through her thin night shirt that barely reached the bottom of her thighs.

One of her legs wrapped around his waist and he groaned when their clothed cores met. His eyes were closed tightly as he made his way down her jaw, leaving open mouthed kisses along her skin. His lips were surprisingly soft, like last time.

"Lucia," he muttered, pressing his lower half more firmly against her. "tell me to stop."

"I don't want you to stop." Lucia ran her fingers through his graying hair lovingly. "It's okay, Joel. I want this. You have no idea how much."

The woman would be lying if she said she had never thought about it. Hell, she had even thought about it before he first kissed her in that hotel three months ago. Joel was extremely attractive and being so close to him for months definitely got her wondering every now and then, and she had seen him look at her before so she knew the feeling was absolutely mutual.

His lips were back on hers and she opened for him, tongues battling against each other in a frantic frenzy. Joel was not holding back anymore as he ground against her. He slowly dragged his tongue against her own and she arched her back into his touch. The hand that was resting on her waist moved lower and he fisted the fabric of her shirt in his fist.

Lucia had already given him permission so he didn't bother to ask as he slowly slid her shirt up and over her hips, revealing her bare stomach. Joel gracefully lifted the shirt from her body and threw it somewhere in the bedroom. His eyes darkened as he pulled away from her mouth. It was even better than he had imagined.

"Fuck," he breathed and admired the way she didn't shy away from his intense gaze.

Lucia was stunning and he had known that for awhile now. Goosebumps erupted onto her skin from the lack of clothes and the cold that seeped through the thin windows. His calloused fingers ghosted over her rib cage, and they slowly slid toward the scar on her side from a previous bullet wound.

Joel met her gaze for a moment before he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to the elevated skin of her scar. Lucia shuddered and closed her eyes when one of his hands crawled up her skin toward her chest, and he squeezed one of her breast in his hand. He continued peppering her with kisses before he pulled on of her nipples in his mouth.

"God, Joel." she hummed appreciatively.

He rolled her other nipple between his thumb and forefinger, pulling at it gently before letting it go while kissing her other breast. Lucia arched her back and kept a firm hold on the back of his head, not wanting him to move even an inch away from her, but he did and she almost whined at the loss of contact.

"You're fuckin' beautiful." Was all that came from his mouth before he slid off the bed and went down onto his knees. Lucia pushed herself up her elbows and her eyes widened slightly at what he was about to do. "Lift your hips for me, babe."

"Joel -" she began, a sense of insecurity washing through her. "you don't have to."

"I want to taste you." he said and she blinked at the plea behind his voice, eyes almost rolling to the back of her head. No one had ever done this before and she didn't know what to think of it, but she listened to him anyway.

Slowly, she lifted her hips as his fingers hooked around the waistband of her brand new panties. He was still fully clothed and while Lucia wasn't really an insecure person, she still felt her cheeks turn a bright crimson at the way he was looking at her. He slid them down her legs carefully and tossed them to the side.

Joel admired the way her skin was flushed red and how her chest rose and fell in quick pants and he massaged her thighs comfortably. Gently, Joel pushed her legs apart and felt himself press against his jeans uncomfortably. He kept his eyes on Lucia as he lowered himself toward her core and she smacked her hand against her mouth to stop herself from crying out once his tongue touched her sensitive area.

Lucia fell back against the mattress and tried to close her legs, but Joel kept a firm grip on her thighs. He flattened his tongue and pushed it between her folds, swirling his tongue around the sensitive nub before repeating the motion.

"Jesus fucking christ." she moaned, tugging at his hair desperately.

This was better than she could have ever imagined and all relevant thoughts had been ripped from her mind the moment he had touched her. Joel hummed against her and the vibration send shivers down her spine. It had been way too long and she could feel herself growing closer with each lap of his tongue. Lucia wished she could last longer, wanted to bathe in this feeling forever but she couldn't.

Joel knew Lucia was close and took pride in the fact he could make her come this quickly. His cock strained against his jeans even more, almost painfully.

"Joel," she breathed, trying to stay as silent as she could. "'m close."

Not a second later, her legs clamped around his head as her orgasm hit. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head almost straight away and Joel reached up to press the palm of his hand over her mouth, quieting her down. A small chuckle escaped him as he carefully let go of her legs, dropping them onto the mattress.

Lucia was panting and didn't notice as Joel shrugged off his flannel, leaving him bare from the waist up as he crawled back up her body. His lips met her jaw and Lucia immediately wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I want more," she breathed. "I want all of you, Joel."

"Jesus," he uttered, and kicked off his pants and boxers without any hesitation, leaving them both bare to the world. 

The woman couldn't see much in the dimly lit room nor did she care as his body enveloped her in more touches. He braced a forearm on the bed beside her head as Lucia wrapped both legs around his waist, feeling the weight of him rest against her core and another soft moan escaped her mouth. Joel reached between their bodies and guided himself toward her entrance, and he slowly sank into her warmth.

His mouth enveloped her and he quieted down any sounds she was about to make. Lucia might have forgotten that there was a teenager two rooms away, but he sure as hell ain't so he had to keep the brunette from making too much noise.

"Fuck, babe." he whispered against her mouth. "You're taking me so well."

"Joel," whined Lucia, unable to say anything else as her body got used to him.

The smuggler groaned against her as he pulled his hips back and slammed back into her own. Each thrust was painfully delicious and Lucia clenched around him on purpose. Joel nipped at her jaw in response as he set a steady pace. Lucia rolled her hips to meet his thrusts and her nails dug into the skin of his forearms as she held onto him tightly.

"More," she demanded and he set a quicker pace.

Joel buried his face into her neck and sucked at her skin there, leaving a mark as she dragged her nails along his skin in pleasure. It was too much, it felt too good and neither couldn't keep this going much longer.

"Oh, fuck!" cried Lucia and Joel smacked his palm over her mouth in warning. "Right there, fuck."

Joel's hips didn't falter as he kept the same pace and he could practically feel the woman's orgasm nearing. God this felt good and he had to try to hold it in for as long as he could. When Lucia's hips began to stutter, he picked up his pace and had her coming within seconds. Lucia threw her head back and closed her eyes tightly as her legs tightened around his waist. The smuggler followed a second later, hips faltering as he grunted against her skin.

He collapsed against her, enveloping her body with his own. He was breathing heavily, their breaths mingling together. He cupped her jaw a moment later and forced her to meet his gaze, a tired smile on her face. His eyes raked over her face as he again, took in every single detail. The red haze on her skin, the sweat that had pooled at her hairline and her swollen lips from their kisses.

"I love you." Joel didn't even register it as the words spilled from his mouth.

Lucia blinked lazily up at him and brushed dark curls away from his forehead. The woman leaned forwards and captured his lips with her own. "I love you too, Joel."

LMAO i am the worst smut writer and i will say that every single time i write some smut. BUT i still hope you somewhat enjoyed it. I know a lot of you were sort of waiting for this moment and i sincerely hope it met your expectations. i certainly did my best.