main characters 😛

you: i lost sirius and remus
so here i am texting you guys,
while i am suppose to be at the
beach.

mione: why do you always
lose them???

you: i don't know, they just
disappear at random times.

billius: 😳

harry: lila, they are probably
doing ... stuff.

you: k bet, remus is probably
missing that meter stick. i mean
he hasn't seen him for 12 years...

mione: why are you so
casual about everything.

you: genes? idfk.

harry: you sure did inherit
the blacks looks 👀

billius: fr

harry: 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡
😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

mione: chill shawty

you: bae gets jealous

billius: I MEANT THAT ALL
THE BLACKS ARE HOT I AM
NOT HITTING ON LILA.

you: ooh angry seggs?

harry is offline

mione: w-w-w-w-w-w-w
-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w
-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w
-w-what

you: OKAY Y/N 😩💕🥺😍

billius: i walked in the room
to see draco and pansy making
out right on my bed. "d-d-draco.
after everything we've been through!"
i cry and run out of the room and
start singing let it go. "y/n- your-
your voice. it sounds beautiful."
i turn around to see draco.
"t-t-t-t-t-t-thank you draco."
i whisper, tucking a piece of hair
behind my ear. "now get on your
fuckin knees bitch." he growled.
"w-w-w-w-what." i whisper again.
but this time he slaps me. i obeyed
and then we had 72 babies.

harry is online

harry: HAHA I REMEMBER
WHEN WE READ THAT.

you: what 😀

mione: caught you in 4k,
bitch.

harry: oh shut up, don't act
like you don't read dramione
fics 🙄

you: we don't have to act,
because we don't.

billius: i'm with lila on this
one. why in merlins saggy
balls would you read a
dramione fic.

mione: t-t-t-the writing is
good👆

you: it's not like draco hate
crimes her every other day,
and sexualizes her 😍

harry: ok fine i don't read
dramione fics haha.

billius: and i believe this ...
because.

you: i know in harry's free
time he would read drarry
fics.

mione: a-a-are you becoming
a drarry shipper?!?!?!

you: yes mamas

you: i love really toxic
relationships like when
the love interest joins a
hate group directed for
the other persons kind.

billius: true wove 🥺

harry: bae summed it up
perfectly.

you: i have officially became
a dramione hate account.

you: this wifi sucks

harry: where are you even
texting from???

you: i'm waiting in line
to try to win another 50
galleons.

mione: lila, have you found
sirius and remus.

you: nope, but last time i saw
sirius he made a bet with me
that he could drink the entire
ocean.

you: i was thinking about being
a school dropout stripper but now
i'll just win all my money.

billius: what is going on in
your head?

you: a lot of things.

harry: i stg sirius is on crack.

you: he did a line of
coke on someone while
they were tanning.

mione: and what did remus
do about it?

you: he recorded it.

harry: professor lupin and
remus lupin are a completely
different person...

harry: he seems hella fun.

you: not when you walk in on
them eating each others faces
off.

you: speaking of that, i just did.
now let me throw up for the third
time today.

dadfoot is online

dadfoot: better get used
to that.

harry: our groupchat is
haunted

mione: what?-

dadfoot: escaped prisoner
tings 😗✌️

dadfoot is offline

billius: i'm not going to
even question it.

you: the perks of being a
daughter of an escaped
prisoner and a werewolf .

harry: and the wife of the
chosen one.

you: no

harry: maybe next year