۰ ۪۪۫۫ · 🩰 the winner of this round is
PEREGRINATE by Writix22

review

expressive aspects consider: emotional intensity, expression :: 5/ 5

i loved the way you described every emotion, from feeling conscious, concern, crush and affection. i am really impressed, i could feel the emotions while reading the chapter. 

characterization consider: appropriate development of character ::  9/10

truth to be told, your way of developing a character like 'inder' made me fall for him. i liked the little things you added to his character, like his caring side, his funny attitude, his respect towards the girl. even the female lead was also well developed but 'he' deserves special mention. 

originality of the piece: 4 /5 

without any doubt it's original. loved your indian origin book. 

use of grammar and vocabulary: 8/ 10

no mistakes were there grammatically, all the essential elements were added. i would suggest you add a few hindi words in the middle of their conversation, because it's of indian origin and after, it will turn out good. 

engagement with the readers: 5/5 

it was a pleasant feeling reading the chapter. i was reading not for judging, but to enjoy what you have created there. i loved the fact that a romantic scene doesn't mean to show kisses or skin ships or any physical relation. it can be shown as doing bare minimum, showing affection. that's all. 

writing style: 4 /5

it's good. no messy writing, no spelling errors. keep it up. 

overall presentation : 9 /10

loved everything from top to bottom of that chapter. loved the way you presented a romantic scene. it's truly a romantic scene. i could feel that i was in that very situation. enjoyed the piece. 

total : 44/ 50. 

we would like to show our gratitude to our participants as well~ thank you all for joining us!¡

MIDNIGHT SHADOWS by Swarnava_07

expressive aspects consider: emotional intensity, expression :: 3/ 5

i found the story well descriptive. well expressed emotions and readers can easily connect with the current situation. 

characterization consider: appropriate development of character :: 7/ 10

loved the female lead. the way you defined her characteristics are awesome. i loved how you portrayed her, as a bold & confident lady.  the male lead was good too, but i did not get attracted to his character much. 

originality of the piece: 4/ 5

yes, it is easily understandable that the book is original. 

use of grammar and vocabulary: 8/10

correct use of punctuation. your vocabulary is also strong. no grammatical mistakes are seen.

engagement with the readers:4/5 

loved the start, and would like to read the book further. i really liked the way you placed all the elements. keep it up. 

writing style:4/ 5

i liked how you described each and everything, from describing the city, the sunrise and also the circumstances. well done. 

overall presentation 8/10

you are doing good , nothing much to say. i loved the presentation from start to till now, considering everything. 

total : 34/ 50. 

SPRING IN HADES by NatashaIli

expressive aspects consider: emotional intensity, expression :: 4/5

well expressed emotions and i loved the detailing. 

characterization consider: appropriate development of character :: 5/ 10

couldn't understand the characters much, because i read it from the middle, but i could feel the emotional connection between the details. i could feel the chemistry between them. good writing. 

originality of the piece: 5/5

yes, it is an original piece. 

use of grammar and vocabulary: 8/10

your grammar is good and even vocabulary. no mistakes are seen. 

engagement with the readers:2/5 

after a sudden point, i felt the chapter lacked engagement. at a few points i was genuinely confused about what's happening because of not writing a few points correctly. 

writing style: 2/ 5 

writing a long chapter is a mistake, write short and crisp chapters with some twists and turns. it will help readers to stay focused and tuned. writing few paragraphs in italics and few in normal fonts won't help until and unless you mark them as (flashbacks/ or anything. ) if you don't mark them then it will make the readers confused. 

overall presentation 5/10

you need to focus on how to engage and attract people to read your book. you have to frame your chapters in such a manner that, no matter which chapter a reader reads, it must grab the reader's attention. 

total : 31/ 50. 

I M POSSIBLE LOVE by ViniShah2

expressive aspects consider: emotional intensity, expression :: 5/5

nicely described each and every emotion and the characters' expressions. 

characterization consider: appropriate development of character ::  7/10

all the three characters were nicely placed and also well shown their situations. 

originality of the piece: 4 /5

absolutely original piece. 

use of grammar and vocabulary: 6/10

no such grammatical mistakes. but the sentence formation was plain. few words were repetitive;  ' in addition to it.' try to use other words. suggest you to enhance your vocabulary a bit.

engagement with the readers: 4 /5 

it was really nice to read the chapter. nicely written, no rushing, and also engaging. 

writing style: 3/5

your writing style is good, breaking of paragraphs was correct, usage of correct tenses but i will be happiest if you just increase the standard of your sentence formation. it's too simple. i know you have some great plots, so if you do the needful it will turn out good. 

overall presentation 8/10

loved your cute, intense romance scene. i could feel i was also there standing, watching them. 

total :37/  50. 

BROKEN WITHOUT YOU - A RAY OF HOPE by Kmytho

expressive aspects consider: emotional intensity, expression :: 3.5/ 5

emotions were described well for all the characters. it will  be better to add more details. 

characterization consider: appropriate development of character ::  5 /10

to be honest, the characters were not developed by you. it was already there in hindu mythology. but i will give marks for presenting them in your way.

originality of the piece: 2 /5

as i told you, it is not fully original, it's partially yours. so i have given marks according to your presentation. 

use of grammar and vocabulary: 5 /10

i found the sentence formation weak. the narrations were not correctly written. there were no dialogue tags. in many places there was wrong use of punctuation and ellipsis. you need to stress on these silky things more.

engagement with the readers:4 / 5 

quite impressed that you tried writing a story of hindu mythology in your own way. good job. i had fun reading the piece. 

writing style: 2 / 5

you need to focus on how you present a situation. try to focus on what i have mentioned above. it will help. 

overall presentation 7 /10

i liked the piece. keep it up. 

total :28.5/ 50. 

THE ZODIAC SERIES BOOK 2 - AQUARIUS by FictionaIFantasies

expressive aspects consider: emotional intensity, expression :: 4 /5

very detailed descriptions of emotions and feelings are seen. good. 

characterization consider: appropriate development of character ::  9/ 10

i loved the character of aquarius. the way you described her situations , circumstances and her struggles to survive is just awesome. loved it. 

originality of the piece: 5/  5

the piece is interesting and as well as enjoyable. it's absolutely original. 

use of grammar and vocabulary: 9 / 10

your vocabulary and grammar is really strong. i loved your sentence formation and the development of situations. 

engagement with the readers: 4/  5 

i read the whole piece, and really enjoyed the piece. 

writing style:  4 /5

your writing style is very good, perfectly describing every situation, i could connect to the ongoing situations and could feel the emotions. 

overall presentation : 8 / 10

it's showing that you have  put effort into writing the story, from start to end i enjoyed every single line. very nicely written. loved it.

total : 43 /  50. 

KNOWN STRANGER by parkaecha14

expressive aspects consider: emotional intensity, expression :: 2 / 5

you have to write a romantic scene dedicated to one or two particular chapters where you point out or show affection between two characters. you cannot insert too many situations, past or present to make it more confusing and messy. if you wanna add them, do it in a separate chapter previously but don't mix things up. (chap 10) 

the first two paragraphs were, i would say, emotional but not romantic. it was really confusing who loves whom because the writing wasn't clear. (chap 13) 

characterization consider: appropriate development of character :: 3/  10

there were too many characters. it has to be between two individuals. but i couldn't see anything romantic in that piece. none of the characters are written properly. (chap 10, 13.) 

originality of the piece: 0/  5

i couldn't understand a single thing what's going on there. 

use of grammar and vocabulary: 4/  10

poor sentence construction, some grammatical errors here and there in every other sentence. punctuations and wrong use of ellipsis seen. try to focus on grammar and stress on your vocabulary. 

engagement with the readers: 1 /  5 

even though you mentioned povs, timing, places but still the execution is wrong. it could've been better. try to read other published books of renowned authors, so that you can understand how it is  done.  

writing style: 2/ 5

very messy writing. a good plot cannot be as good as it should be due to the wrong way of execution. 

overall presentation 3 / 10

stress of presentation and focus on the other elements i have mentioned above. keep writing. 

total :  15/  50. 

SUMMER MY BEST COMPANION by shinhaari

expressive aspects consider: emotional intensity, expression :: 4/ 5

i liked how you portrayed the emotions. it's truly amazing. 

characterization consider: appropriate development of character :: 6/  10

loved the character of jimin. you have portrayed his side very well. even the character of y/n 

originality of the piece: 3/  5

i had seen a few books based on the same plot. but you have done it in your style. 

use of grammar and vocabulary: 4/ 10

poor sentence construction. rarely any dialogue tags. stress on punctuations, wrong usage of punctuation can flip the meaning of any sentence. increase your vocabulary. 

engagement with the readers: 2 /5 

in the beginning it was interesting, but slowly the engagement was lagging. 

writing style: 0/  5

i couldn't understand your writing style. 

you have written:- 

jimin- (said something.)

jungkook- (said the other…) 

and then you have written something in italics. you changed the povs so frequently…it's just doing nothing but making the writing confusing and messy. stick to narrative writing. always add dialogue tags and don't write with hyphens…unless and until you are writing a script or play. 

overall presentation 5/  10

focus on execution and presentation. it will help.  i loved the letter at the end of chap 25. 

total : 24/ 50. 

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