participants, kindly follow your judge patricia_s_fictions

۰ ۪۪۫۫ · 🩰 and the winner of the is
best comedy scene category is~

WRONG PLANET by soobslatte

review

theme & storyline:-  6/ 10
i liked the theme, it was good, but the comedic part was less, you need to focus on that part. overall it was nice.

creativity & originality:- 8/ 10
liked your thought of writing something unique.

grammar & vocabulary:- 4/5
no grammatical errors were noticed, but i have spotted that you did not give space after putting full stops, or commas. this needs to be corrected.

character descriptions:-5/  10
have to be specific while writing about the characters. i know it is difficult to go on describing characters in every chapter, so you have to write in such a way that readers can understand, especially us who are reading from the middle.
you have written (the redhead guy) in several places. who is this redhead person? you have to mention the redhead, his friend/brother, or anything that can signify his role in that part.

engagement:-3/ 5
your piece was quite funny. enjoyed reading.

writing style:- 2/5
you have to focus on writing crisp and catchy sentences, do not use a casual way of writing.

overall presentation- 4/ 5
shows your effort. good job.

total:- 32/50

always a heart full of thanks for our participants!

CHANGES IN THE LIFE. - A MAFIA STEP SIBLING FF by Jisoo_The_Beauty

theme & story line :-  1/ 10

before commenting on anything, i would point out the title, it is long and it must be (changes in life. no need to add the.)

i did not find anything funny or comedic in your piece, rather it had thrill and suspense. i have noticed you tried to write some silly situations among the siblings but it did not turn out well.

creativity & originality:- 2/10

there are an endless number of mafia step siblings on the internet and yours has nothing extraordinary.

grammar & vocabulary:- 2/ 5

numerous errors, wrong sentence formation. no proper usage of dialogue tags are seen. vocabulary & grammar need improvement.

character descriptions:- 3/ 10

by reading some paragraphs it was understood that the characters are each other's siblings. but there were no such individual character descriptions..like you said y/n is mafia, her brothers are also in the same profession, but who are they ? their identification? and so on. which was missing.

engagement:- 3/ 5

your book is interesting but it needs more improvement and proper execution.

writing style:- 1/ 5

i did not like the writing style, messy changing in povs and that too is not written clearly. it creates confusion. so i would suggest not to switch povs too fast.

overall presentation- 1/5

you have to work on presentation. focus on where you are going wrong and take corrective measures. keep writing.

total :- 13/50 

4 A.M IN THE NIGHT by vioulets

theme & story line :-  2/10
according to me your piece was not according to the theme. i did not find anything comedic, rather i can call it a rom-com.

creativity & originality:- 7/ 10
your piece was nice, it had a good content.

grammar & vocabulary:- 1/ 5
there were plenty of grammatical mistakes i have noticed. sentence formation was off at some parts, incorrect usage of punctuation marks [especially commas (,)] which was making the meaning of the sentence wrong.
even in some places the use of double quotes (" …" ) were written like ('..."). which is also wrong. i would suggest you proofread while posting any chapters.
one extra thing, there's  a slight mistake in the title. it's always 4.am in the morning, not night. (the hours between 12am and 4am are typically considered late at night or the early hours of the morning. it is common to refer to this time as "2 o'clock in the morning" rather than "2 o'clock at night.")

character descriptions:- 5/ 10
i would love your piece more, if you elaborate more about the characters in the beginning. moreover your characters' placements were good.

engagement:- 3/ 5
your piece was quite interesting and engaging. i would suggest writing the situation properly, in a descriptive way, it might help in engaging the readers more.

writing style:- 1/ 5
i did not like the writing style, it was like you are going on writing what's coming to your mind. kindly avoid it. first frame your chapters, what situations you wanted to write and what not. it looks like messy writing. too rushed.

overall presentation- 2/ 5
i have seen you have put effort into decorating the chapters, but if the content is not proper, the decoration will go to waste. kindly focus on what you want to showcase the readers.

total- 21/ 50

winner kindly dm within 48 hours.