𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐓𝐨 𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤
-𝟎𝟎𝟒-
𝐒𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡, 𝟏𝟗𝟏𝟗

Three weeks it had been since John Shelby had taken Valerie Black out to a restaurant. Three weeks since she felt herself being genuinely happy for the first time in what felt like forever.

And since then, John had visited her a handful of times — whenever he could. Sometimes he would indeed go to have sex with her, the others he'd stay and conversation with her before he had to go and work in the betting shop.

Maria was still missing and Valerie had begun to think that it was indeed her who had taken the money. But saying that, a lot of the girls tended to be sly and take things from the others when they weren't in their rooms.

And Valerie didn't believe that Maria would do such a thing.

She sat up against her headboard with her old copy of Little Women in hand. The thin white sheet was tangled with her body as she sat in just her underwear and a shirt. The room was silent and all she could hear was the light chatter from downstairs and the noises of the beds moving across the hall.

It was strange how the world worked. Everybody around her had their own separate lives. And no matter how similar they may be, they were all separate and each and every other person had their own troubles.

And it made Valerie think, deeper than she would have liked to, about how no matter what status you are or how you end up in the situation you end up in, everybody has a story.

But she was quick to force the thoughts out of her head. She hated thinking about things in such depth because everytime it just ended in confusion.

Valerie stared at the money that sat on the edge of her bed that she had given up counting. Sighing, she leaned forward and scooped it toward her. Trying her best, Valerie began counting again.

-

John stood with the betting book in his hand as he read out numbers to young Finn to write on the chalk board. "And then.." He began.

"John boy!" Arthur called out from the office. John discretely rolled his eyes and placed the book down, tapping Finn's shoulder and walking around him. "What d'ya want, Artha?" He asked, chewing on the toothpick that sat between his teeth.

"I heard some of the Blinders talking today when I was down the Garrison." Arthur began with a grunt.

John shrugged.

"They say they seen you with a lady on your arm a few weeks ago." Arthur said in a tormenting tone. John kissed his teeth. "The Blinder boys like to talk, Arthur. You and I both know that." John tried to brush it off.

Arthur grinned. "Who was the girl, John boy?"

John cleared his throat. "It was no one, alright?" John gritted through his teeth, not wanting Arthur in his business. "I didn't think you'd move on from Lizzie, eh?" Arthur pushed.

"Well, I have." John snapped. "And you don't need to know who she bloody is, yeah?"

"Is she another whore?"

"Don't!" John pointed a finger at him, "don't use that word again, do you hear me? She's much more than a whore, Arthur." He spat. Arthur leaned forward in his chair. "So there is a girl?"

"Just bloody shut up!"

"How old is she?" Arthur asked. John glared at him. "Eighteen." He said, feeling like he should be ashamed that she was so young but there was only a three, nearly four year gap between them.

"Is she pretty?"

John took a breath. "Fuckin' breathtaking, Arthur." John finally broke the secretive front and sat down. "Dark hair, pale skin. I don't think i've ever seen somebody so beautiful."

Arthur wanted to laugh in his younger brother's face but chose not to. "Are ya going to marry her?"

John thought for a moment and shrugged. "She's young, ain't she. I don't wanna trouble her with our business. She deserved to get out and live properly—"

"But what if you're her ticket out of that business she has already gotten herself involved with?" Arthur suggested.

The younger Shelby nodded slightly, the comment staying in his mind for a moment. Arthur was right. Valerie had nobody else to go to. She'd be stuck in that business for a while, if not her whole life.

"I haven't bloody gotten her pregnant." John chuckled, shaking his head.

"Yeah well.. still time for that to happen, brother." Arthur teased.

-

Valerie shoved the pile of money onto the counter and looked at Alfie with a look that said 'i told you so.' He just looked at her and waited for her to speak. "It's all there. Every single penny."

"How did you get me it all in time?" He asked, taking it.

"Let's just say i've got a Shelby man who takes quite the interest toward me." She grinned, leaning her elbows on the counter. Alfie hummed in amusement and clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. "Well done, Florence." He nodded.

She scoffed and shook her head, spinning on her heels to ascend the stairs once more.

That night was fairly quiet as she had nobody due to see her. But finding that the day coming was somewhat busy and she had a small amount of money to spare, she decided on going down to the Garrison.

Partly because she wanted a few drinks and partly because she hoped to see John again. It had been a few days since last seeing him.

Valerie began feeling like she was growing attached to the Shelby man and that's not what she wanted. But who was she kidding? This was the first time since her father left that somebody had showed a bit of care for her. Of course she was getting attached.

"Evening," The blonde barmaid greeted. "What can I get for you?"

Valerie had almost automatically spotted the Shelby boy sat in the separate room from the moment she walked in.

"A gin, please." Valerie smiled softly at the woman who nodded once and turned to make the drink. Valerie stared at the counter for a while, thinking. "There you are." She said, pulling Valerie away from her thoughts.

She handed her the money and pulled the drink toward her. "Thank you," she thanked.

The barmaid went back to cleaning the counters but had noticed how the dark haired girl remained alone and silent. "I don't think i've seen you in here before," she spoke up.

Valerie caught her eye. "I've not seen you either."

"My names Grace, I got the barmaid job a few weeks back." She said. Valerie hummed. "You must always be at home when i'm here. I'm Florence." Valerie continued the conversation.

Grace smiled slightly. "Are you here alone?" Her Irish accent was thick. 

"Indeed."

"Sometimes I find that my own company can be the best type of company." Grace said. Valerie nodded in agreement. "I'm in my own company more times than not." Valerie told the blonde. "I've grown to enjoy it though sometimes I wish I had more options."

"You don't have family here?" Grace asked.

Valerie shook her head.

"Then, Florence, you and I are a lot similar than what we may think." Grace said, putting down the cloth she had been using to wipe the counters. "I came over from Dublin. I have no family here either."

Valerie remembered the story she had once told Harry when she first arrived in Small Heath and thought it best to stick to it.

"I came over because my one family member that did live here had passed away. But somehow I found that Small Heath more like home than where i'd came from so I stayed." She explained, altering her story slightly.

"Do you work?"

Valerie tilted her head down and nodded slightly, once again feeling embarrassed. "I landed myself in a situation I could never wish on anybody. So I had one last option and although it isn't something I particularly enjoy, it isn't all bad." Valerie shrugged.

Grace had put two and two together and figured that 'Florence' worked in prostitution of some sort.

Somebody from behind her cleared his throat, diverting both the women's attention. "Sorry to interrupt," Tommy spoke, looking at Valerie. "We need another bottle of whiskey," he said.

Grace nodded.

"I see you're sat alone, Florence." Tommy said, emphasising her name and making her cautious. "Why don't you join my brothers and I. We're playing cards— you know how to play cards, don't you?"

"I can learn." She shrugged.

"Follow me then," Tommy said, a hand hovering behind her back when she got up from the stool. She sheepishly entered the snug and John was yet to lay eyes on her.

"Thank you, Grace." Tommy said once collecting the bottle of booze through the small window. "Brothers, this is a friend of mine, Florence. Florence these are my brothers." He introduced, fully aware of the connections that she and John had made over the months.

John's expression dropped dramatically at the introduction and he shifted in his seat. "Nice to meet ya— although I recognise you.. i do!" Arthur grunted.

Valerie just smiled and took a seat beside Tommy. "I come here often," she said. John kept his hands on his knees and glared at Tommy. "So.. er, how do you two know each other then?" John asked.

Tommy sighed and poured a glass of whiskey. "Old friends." He lied, staring John right in the eye whilst sipping from the glass.

"Is there something you'd like to say, John?" Tommy grinned. John shook his head and sucked in a breath, anger growing within him. "Would you like a drink, Florence?" Tommy turned to her.

She snapped out of her daydream and looked to Thomas. "That would be nice, thank you." She nodded once after realising she had left her gin back at the bar.

John remained sitting uncomfortable with his fists clenched in his lap as he watched Tommy and Valerie laugh with each other. Valerie hadn't realised that Thomas was just trying to tease his little brother and get him to come clean about whatever was going on between the two.

"So, Florence, how did you meet out Tom?" Arthur slurred his words together.

She looked at Tommy for some sort of help.

"I don't kiss and tell, Arthur." Tommy quickly answered and her eyes grew wide. And so did John's. He bit his tongue and looked away. Valerie laughed nervously and looked down at her feet. "It's getting late," she swallowed hard, "I should be getting home."

"Do you want me to walk you?" Tommy offered.

She shook her head and walked to the door. "I'll be alright but thank you. I'll see you all again sometime soon." She assured them and slipped away from the pub.

Arthur chuckled slightly. "Well she seems lovely, she does." He hummed, trying to break the awkward silence. John breathed heavily and jumped to his feet, storming away. "What's up with him?" Arthur asked

Tommy just sipped his drink again.

"Flo!" John followed after her in the dark, "Florence stop walking, yeah?!" He raised his voice, catching up to her. She slowly came to a halt and turned to him. "What?" She asked with confusion.

"What was that.. in there?" John nodded back toward the pub. Valerie tilted her head. "I don't know what you're talking about," she said honestly. John wiped a hand across his mouth. "My brother, Tommy, how do you know him?"

She was unsure if she should tell him the truth or go along with Tommy's lie.

"What type of girl would I be if I was to kiss and tell." She said, continuing Tommy's lie. John was fuming and she could tell. "Seriously?" he asked, hands at his side.

Valerie said nothing.

"Florence that ain't funny, yeah? Tell me the truth." He said, remembering how Lizzie was still sleeping with Thomas despite being engaged to Johns. She crossed her arms over her chest as the night chill consumed her. "I don't know what it is that concerns you, John. Why does it matter what the circumstances were when me and your brother met?"

John looked around, thinking.

"Because— just because, alright?"

She scoffed with laughter. "Is there a reason you're so concerned as to how I know him."

"Yeah." He hissed. She raised her eyebrows, "go on." She urged. John found himself unable to talk. There was silence for a few moments. "See, you don't even know yourself." She accused.

John swallowed, his mouth dry. "Listen, just listen to me for a minute. If I find out that Tommy has ever laid a finger on you.. has ever known the feeling of your skin, i'll kill him." John said through gritted teeth, grabbing her face.

Her breath hitched and she stared him in the eye.

"I'll fucking kill him." He repeated.

"John you're scaring me," Valerie muttered.

"So tell me now, Flo. Have you ever ended up in bed with my brother— or over a table for that matter?"

Valerie did nothing. She said nothing. But after a few seconds she gave in and shook her head quickly. John relaxed slightly and let out a breath. "You tell me if he ever goes near you cause I swear, Florence, I swear—"

"You'll kill him. I get it. Now please let me go." She cut him off. John removed his hands from her face and took a step back. She began walking away and didn't say anything more to him.

"Florence!" He shouted, afraid he had upset her or even worse, hurt her.

She ignored him and squeezed her eyes closed, continuing to walk away.

Thankfully, Valerie arrived back at her room quicker than she'd expected but what she didn't think she would see was Maria Woods sat on her mattress with a few pieces of paper in hand.

Valerie's mouth fell open and she closed the door over behind her. "Maria? What.. where have you been?" She was quick to embrace the girl and hold her tightly.

"I'm sorry, Val." She apologised quickly. "Im so so sorry." She placed down the paper which just so happened to be old water colour paintings of Valerie's.

Valerie's eyes lingered on the pieces for a moment but soon shifted her gaze back to her friend.

"Maria.. where did you go!? I was worried that you had died!" Valerie sat beside her on the bed and grabbed her hands. Maria took a deep breath. "That night at the Garrison, a regular customer of mine approached me and we went back to his own place. For a while he had spoke about going to live in London for a new start of some sort. And this time he had managed to convince me to go with him and I—" she paused, "and I took your money, Valerie."

"You what?"

"I took it but I swear i've got it all here, I can give it all back. Every penny." Maria scrambled to dig into her small bag and pulled out money.

Valerie stared down at it.

"Why did you come back? You finally got out, Maria. But you came back." Valerie couldn't find herself to be angry toward Maria for taking the money.

"It would never work, Valerie. He liked the drugs and the smoke. He liked to gamble.. there was a lot more under the surface than what he had let me see. So I had to come back. I couldn't stay there knowing i'd left you in the dark without an explanation. I'm sorry, Valerie. I really am." She apologised again.

But Valerie could only pull her into a hug again, rocking her slightly. "It's alright, Maria. You saw a chance and you took it. Any of us girls would do it."

And for a while after that the two girls sat in each other's arms, eventually laughing with each other and talking about John Shelby.

Valerie never realised how much she needed Maria until she disappeared without warning.

And as of that night, John had never realised how strongly he felt for Valerie until finding out her and Tommy 'had something' in the past. Which obviously wasn't true but still. It made him open his eyes and look at what was right in front of him.

©-shelbysecret-

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Authors Note:

-In the next chapter, i'm planning something that may make it seem like Valerie and John have moved FAST. But realistically they haven't as these chapters are spaced over a timeline of a few months.

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