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❝ i lost a lot back then. ❞

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CARINA LET OUT an exasperated groan before beginning to run her hands through her dark waves, her brows pulled together while her heart hammered in her chest. She couldn't grasp what had possessed her heart to reopen such a delicate wound, allowing herself to see past what Vader chose to show.

He was nothing more than a lying, manipulative Sith— she was thoughtless for thinking he could be anything but. The man she loved was gone— it became a mantra she forced herself to repeat constantly. Long ago she truly believed that.

Algora pulled her gaze towards the window, swallowing thickly as her stress began piling up. Her emotions running wild as she thought of her previous conversations with her husband.

"I am sorry."

"Would you have been able to do it?"

"You were everything good I had."

"You kept it."

"I never loved or wanted anything more than I did you."

Carina shut her eyes tightly, letting out a strangled noise before allowing her knees to give out. She hit the floor with a thud before the objects surrounding her began to rattle, shaking violently while her chest heaved.

Her eyes glossed over with unshed tears, the empty glass cup and lamp that were perched on her nightstand shattering. The noise echoed throughout the room, the wardrobe that rested behind her threatening to crack if she did not control herself.

Algora let out a choked gasp, her trembling hands clenching and unclenching themselves as she struggled to gain control over her emotions. The brunette let out a shaky breath before finally calming herself, the furniture in her room finally being left still as her arms went limp to her sides.

Twelve. She felt like that twelve year old padawan she used to be whenever she struggled to contain her reactions. How different times were back then though.

Carina ran a shuddering hand over her face, flinching slightly when a tear rolled down her cheek. The brunette shuffled her legs to pulls her knees up to her chest, resting her back and head against the dresser.

The mother clenched her jaw, closing her eyes as her breathing finally slowed. Algora didn't dare fight the exhaustion that creeped up on her, allowing it to simply consume her.

The door creaking open made Carina slowly peel her eyes open as boots shuffling around could be heard. The brunette's muscles went rigid on instinct, her eyes hard while slowly lifting herself from her place on the floor.

Vader took a moment to look at the state of his wife's room, noticing how everything was all over the ground. His chest tightened almost unbearably when his gaze landed on her tense form.

He took quick notice of the pure rage burning in her auburn eyes, her hands fisted at her sides with her stance slightly defensive— almost as if she was waiting for him to strike.

"What are you doing here?"

The blonde mentally flinched at her tone, nothing but anger latching onto her every word.

Carina grit her teeth, "Haven't you toyed with me enough? These little visits you do to confuse me are over, I am done. Get out before I throw you out." Not a threat but a promise, one he knew she would happily keep.

Algora's mind worked on creating a plan to finally get off the wretched ship, no longer feeling the need to stay behind willingly. For what? To be let down again after she allowed herself to hold onto hope? No, she was done with that.

He more than easily showed her he would never be the man she once knew, why try and believe anything el— "I didn't send troops after the rebels." Kriffing hell.

Carina blinked. Once, twice.

"What game are you playing?"

Anakin watched the eyes that were narrowed into slits, his hand shaking slightly at his side. In all honesty, he didn't know what was happening to him. He didn't know what was becoming of him, everything he had known, all he thought he was, he wasn't sure of any of it anymore.

All he was certain of is that he was willing to risk anything for Carina to look at him with anything but anger. He missed the way her eyes always sparkled when they landed on him, he'd missed it so much. He longed for the way she always knew he would be there when she needed it— the unrelenting trust she had in him.

He missed what they once were. Anger— hatred, was the sole thing keeping him going the past years. Yet not an ounce of anger he'd felt since he'd found Carina again. It wasn't his driving purpose anymore.

Algora watched the male shake his head slightly. "No games." A sharp intake of breath, "I couldn't... I couldn't do it."

Carina didn't dare move, her mind attempting to promise his words because it was as if they held another meaning behind him. No. she immediately shut herself down. She couldn't do that to herself again.

The man could feel the conflict coursing through her, he hadn't expected her to believe his words— though they were true. The second he'd sent troopers to take her back, he'd regretted it immediately. He'd stood frozen for a good minute, before calling off the attack. All his men looked at him as if he'd lost his sanity and... perhaps he finally had.

Carina watched him sit on the edge of her bed, his breathing picking up slightly— sounding distorted through his voice changer. A small part of herself wanted nothing more than to force him to leave and find her way out of this mess.

It was what she should do.

Though there she stood, feeling the truth in the words he'd spoken. The regret and doubt engulfing him, she could feel how lost he felt. She knew better than to allow herself to pity him— but Carina's resolve always fell short when it came to the only man she ever loved.

Heavy silence weighed over the married couple, neither knowing what exactly to say to the other.

The blonde trailed his blue eyes over his wife's features, his gaze resting a little longer on the scar her brow bone held... the scar that once matched his.

A strong urge to see Algora with his own bare eyes overcame him. He needed to see her, he couldn't hide behind his mask with her anymore.

"Can you..." he swallowed audibly, he had never let someone even touch his mask. Anyone who tried had always ended up dead, but this was Carina. Even if she despised him, he never felt more secure than with her. She was the only person he felt the need to be vulnerable with.

Carina couldn't help the way her eyes widened with her lips parting upon hearing what left his mouth next.

"Help me take this mask off."

A minute passed... then five. The brunette hadn't been sure if her hearing had finally failed her or he truly had just asked that.

Carina's throat went dry, not knowing if she could handle seeing his face after every bone in her body had seized up when she'd caught a glimpse of his blonde curls.

As much as she hated to admit it, he still had that effect on her.

The brunette contemplated it, a part of her yelling for her to turn away and shun his request... but the larger part of her wanted to. Twenty years since she'd seen his true face, and despite her better judgement, she longed to see what was under that casque.

So, she moved. Hesitantly, she forced her legs to move slowly— approaching the man that was sat before her.

Algora stopped right before him, ignoring the way his legs were on either side of her despite being a good foot away still.

Carina stood frozen, her heart pounding in her chest as she reluctantly lifted her trembling hands.

The blonde shut his eyes as he felt her reach for the button that unclipped his mask. The male felt it lift, all sorts of emotions coursing through him as he felt Carina pick up the helmet, beginning to raise the mask.

Carina removed the item completely, chest heaving as his blonde locks fell, framing his face as he softly exhaled.

He kept his eyes closed, feeling unimaginable vulnerability in that one moment. He could feel his wife's gaze burning into him, feel her scanning over his every feature. It terrified him.

Carina set the helmet down as her tainted lips parted themselves. Her gaze roamed over his face, she hated to admit it, but he was beautiful. Her eyes fell upon the scar on the eye she'd had no clue existed. He held two deep scars on each eye, which meant his didn't match hers anymore.

That truth stung a bit, remembering all the time they'd teased one another about having gotten hit the same way.

Carina felt her shaking hand begin to move to trace the healed wound, but the brunette quickly caught herself. What was she doing? Algora stumbled away from the blonde quickly, regaining her composure as she kept a safe distance between themselves.

Anakin felt slight disappointment surge through him, quietly wishing he had been able to feel the warmth of her touch again. Never had he craved for something more— needed something more.

Carina's gaze wandered over the room, hoping to focus on something else but it was no use. Her eyes dragged themselves back to him.

The blonde watch his wife carefully, licking his lips before standing up to his full height again. She truly was absolutely enchanting.

Carina's feet glued themselves to the ground the second her honey eyes caught sight of him beginning to approach her. What was wrong with her?

He finally stopped once he was mere inches away from the brunette, forcing her head to tilt upwards to meet his gentle blue eyes.

The blonde breathed softly, his gaze resting on her lips a little too long, "I'm sorry," his voice roughly whispered, "For everything I put you through."

The only reaction she was able to provide was her blinking.

His hand itched to reach up and caress the side of her face like he once so often did, but he refrained from doing so.

Instead, he took a step back and another, his gaze locked on hers for a moment longer before pulling away completely and shutting the door to the room behind him as he left. The second he'd stepped foot outside he'd placed his mask back on, clicking it into place before disappearing down the corridor.

Carina let out a shaky breath, her back hitting the wall while her chest heaved rapidly.

Algora was very close to questioning if her brain was still functioning.

—

AUTHORS NOTE,
heyyy, how you guys doing???
On a serious note sorry for just disappearing out of the blue LMAO, i finished my summer job a little bit ago and I needed a break fr and even tho im literally starting school next week im hoping to be able to update a little more frequently since the next chapter is the last for this act and then its the last act so were almost there, again sorry for going MIA ill try my best to get the rest of this book done as quick as i can.