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❝ sometimes i feel like i should've
given up long ago. ❞

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THE SOUND OF A SHOE tapping against the hard floors bounced off the walls of the dining hall. Luke anxiously chewed the inside of his lower lip— his eyes dazed and distant as thoughts wracked through his mind.

Leia's steps faltered by the entrance to the dining room, her dark eyes resting on Skywalker's focused figure. A small frown played on her lips, Luke looked out of it almost every day since Carina had been taken, and it'd been just over a month already.

Leia would be lying if she said she wasn't also wrecked with pure concern for the woman who had saved her life on countless occasions, but she had to be a leader. She could not make rash decisions on pure instinct.

The princess spent most of her days trying not to dwell on Carina for too long, because everything in her screamed to take the fighter pilots and rush after her. But she knew better.

Though what continued to peak her curiosity was Luke's reaction. She hadn't ever seen the blonde in such a state, on edge about everything and itching to get onto his aircraft and risk it all for the brunette.

Leia sighed softly before beginning to slowly approach the boy, carefully taking a seat beside him when she noticed he hadn't felt her yet. The princess placed a gentle hand upon his forearm to which his clear blue eyes snapped to hers.

Luke could see the worry hidden in Leia's eyes, he knew he was acting out of it, worrying everyone on the ship but he couldn't reign in his need to get his mother.

"You haven't slept." Leia softly reminded the blonde who swallowed audibly before moving his arm out of her reach, "I'll rest in a bit."

At that, Leia frowned again, "You've said that over the last couple of days, Luke. If you're not in here, you're in the main hangar working on your star fighter. Please, go get some sleep."

Tense silence was the girls only response from him.

"Luke..."

The boy shook his head, "I can't sleep without knowing how she is." Leia tipped her head to the side slightly, "Carina can manage well on her own, believe me. She is strong, and I know she wouldn't want you wearing yourself down like this."

Luke ran his hand over his face in a frustrated manner, "You don't know that though. Stars knows what they're doing to her and it's all because of me." A sharp inhale was taken, "I don't know what to do."

Leia watched the boys body tense, his trembling lips pursed with his eyes guarding an emotion she couldn't place, "Luke it isn't your fault, no matter what it was not. You want to blame someone? Blame the Empire that took her. We will get her back, okay?"

In truth, Luke was terrified. What if they didn't get to her in time? He heard of how cruel the Empire was to their prisoners. Darth Vader. The one who had taken his mother and was also his father. Luke remembered what Carina had once shared with him about the Sith Lord, about how he'd murdered her friends and brought down her home.

It didn't matter that they were married, if he'd hurt her before he could certainly do it again. That was what petrified him the most.

"Luke." Leia softly tried again. Luke struggled to keep himself together, he needed to tell someone. He was barely keeping himself sane at this point, "She's my mother."

Leia blinked, barely catching what the blonde had whispered and was wondering if she'd even heard him correctly. Luke cleared his throat slightly, "I had the same reaction. Didn't believe it at first but a part of me always knew."

Leia's lips parted in understanding after allowing the words to sink in, "Oh." Luke hummed softly, "For years I assumed I'd just been abandoned and unwanted by my parents. I never thought I would have the chance to meet my real mother and yet I was given it only to have her be ripped away."

Luke shoved down the pent up emotions he'd bottled since he could remember whenever it came to his parents, "I finally had my mother again, finally could get some answers and have my real mom with me. Carina spent those two years treating me like her son and I finally understood why, but the second I did she was taken away."

Leia placed an affectionate hand on the boys shoulder, attempting to give him any type of comfort she could. The princess understood completely what Luke was referring to about the feeling and acceptance with the thought that his parents had left him. Especially since she once thought that way too.

Her father, Bail, told her the opposite though. He always told her that she was never abandoned— that her mother had loved her very much. Difficult times called for desperate measures though, her father once told her. Bail reminded the princess that her mother had placed her in the hands of Bail and Breha for protection and her own safety.

No one knew what happened to her mother afterwards though, she disappeared, as if she never existed.

Her father she never heard much about from them except from what she knew thanks to Carina and Obi-Wan. Leia squeezed his shoulder gently, "I'm so sorry, Luke."

Luke shuffled slightly, "It just seems like a cruel joke." He fell silent for a short moment, gathering his thoughts, "I don't want to lose her, not when I just got my mother back."

Leia knew words would do nothing to ease Skywalker's anguish, but it was all she could offer him. "I want her back here too, Luke. We are going to get her back, we will."

Luke said nothing, not even nodding as he blankly stared at the table his hands were rested upon.

He could only hope Leia was right.

—

Carina stared up at the ceiling, her eyes completely voided of any emotion while her thoughts wandered about her supposed fight with the Sith Lord three days ago. The mother ran a hand over her face, a heavy sigh escaping her parted lips.

Algora had lost track over how many days it'd been since she'd been taken prisoner. All her days were blurring together and in all honesty, she'd given up on wondering what day it was. Boredom had become a permanent part of the brunette's day, seeing as she saw the same four walls every time she opened her eyes.

Carina found her thoughts wandering to her twins, her heart aching at the reminder. As long as they stayed lightyears away from the empire all would be well. She could endure her time as a captive if it meant her children were far from reach.

But Obi-Wan's words rang through her head, Luke was trying to find a way to save her. The mere thought of it made her stomach churn with panic. Palpatine wanting to twist her sons mind as he once did to her husband had her hands trembling as she clenched them.

There was not a person she held more hatred for than the Emperor, a new found anger rising within the once Jedi Knight. Carina sat up, swallowing thickly to sharply inhale and exhale. Not even death itself could keep the mother from protecting Luke from Palpatine's clutches.

Carina could not protect Anakin from the Sith, but she would not fail their son.

Algora was pulled from her mind when a slight knock could be heard from the other side of her chamber. A frown pulled on her lips with her eyes narrowing in confusion, no one ever knocked.

"Come in?" Uncertainty was evident in her tone as she watched the door open when a familiar armored man stepped into view. A slight scoff filled the air followed by an incredulous expression plastered onto her features, "Since when do you knock?"

Vader blinked, he wasn't very sure himself. For a second he hadn't realized he had knocked— waiting for permission to be in Carina's presence.

The male had dwelled on what the brunette had told him three days prior, allowing himself to fully mentally put himself in her position. Quite frankly, he was surprised she hadn't killed him yet.

"I heard you'd been having trouble sleeping again."

Carina tensed almost unnoticeably— almost. Darth Vader was quick to catch the way her shoulders went rigid, and if he was anyone else he wouldn't have caught it. But he wasn't, and he'd always seen the way Carina would do her best to control her bodies reaction to certain things.

Algora licked her lips, her eyes hard as she looked at the masked man, "That doesn't concern you."

Vader quirked up a brow, "The entire hall is aware of your screams." He leaves out the part where it constantly took every ounce of will within him to not rush to her aid, especially because he could feel how distressed she was. Carina could close herself off as much as she wanted but unconsciously— she would always sought him out.

He knew he wouldn't make the situation any better by barging into her room knowing he was probably the last person that could ever comfort her. That, at the very least, he was well aware of.

Carina clenched her jaw, her nightmares had given her a rest at times, but when she had them— they left her crying and shaking from how real it felt.

"I'll try to contain my reaction next time." her bitter voice grounded out, she hated the fact that others knew of how weak she could truly be over some dreams.

The male frowned, understanding how much Carina hated that now his troopers knew. Although they wouldn't ever mention it to anyone, he'd made sure of that.

"It's a normal reaction." and he meant every word. Vader still vividly remembered the horrors that haunted him every time he shut his eyes at the time he thought his love was dead.

The way his mind could trick him into thinking it was a reality shook him like nothing before. He'd constantly awake in tears, body trembling with ragged breaths falling from his lips.

Carina shook her head in an incredulous manner, slowly standing from her place on the bed to intensely gaze at Vader, "Nothing— about seeing my dead friend die so many different ways because I don't know how you truly killed her— is normal."

The Sith Lord pulled his brows together in slight confusion, watching as his wife took a menacing step towards him, "Don't tell me you've already forgotten those you've killed." Carina scoffed out, her eyes blazing with anger.

Algora clenched her hands into fists at her sides, "My best friend who died by your hand."

Vader exhaled softly, not bothering to speak since Carina was only going to continue, "Trying to save younglings, no less.

The brunette tipped her head up, gazing up at him with years of emotions threatening to burst at that very moment, "She was your friend too. She was good and she didn't deserve to die. I know somewhere in that corrupted mind you know that."

Vader's clear blue eyes looked into her auburn ones, swallowing audibly as he stilled.

Carina opened and closed her fists, "Did you feel absolutely nothing after killing our friend? Did you even hesitate before taking her life?" The longer he stayed silent the more irritated Algora grew, "Tell me."

Carina's hands pushes against his armored chest, pushing back before she repeated, "Tell me."

"I didn't kill her." Vader slipped out, chest heaving as he watched the brunette's expression falter. Carina blinked, heavy breaths leaving her parted mouth while allowing his words to sink in.

The Sith Lord adjusted his posture, "I didn't kill Padme." It was the truth, he never even saw Padme the night order 66 took place. The night Carina poured the blame on him caught the man off guard to say the least. But he saw it was no use denying it, his wife had believed it was him so there was no point anymore.

He still remembered the excuse he had told Carina that night, "I told her to step aside." a lie, was what it was.

Algora took an unsure step back, "What?" her voice came out smaller than she'd intended, trying to wrap her head around what he was saying.

A part of her wanted to believe he was lying, trying to save his own ass from owning up to his actions but she knew he wasn't lying. She could feel it. It was the hard truth.

Darth Vader's mechanic breaths filled the tense atmosphere. He turned away from Carina, opening the doors before locking it closed behind himself.

The mother's eyes had watched him leave, frozen in place with what had been revealed. He hadn't killed Padme.

Now another question swarmed through her head. If Vader didn't kill Padme... who did?

—

AUTHORS NOTE,
yup