❝ self sabotage, what a dreadful thing. ❞

―

— CARINA'S SOFT BREATH'S were the only thing that could be heard in the room she had been locked in. Her calloused hands toying with the hem of the blanket she'd been given. The woman coughed out, her eye lids falling heavy as her body continued to weaken.

She had been refusing to eat for the past three days, her vision had been beginning to blur, her mouth excruciatingly dry. Carina pulled her knees to her chest, keeping a blank expression as she drew in heavy breath's.

Her head twitched slightly just as a sharp pain stabbed through her mind. The mother hated everything about her current situation, allowing herself to be so weak and vulnerable was something she absolutely despised.

Her mind would constantly drift off into her memories, her sons laughter plaguing her ears with Leia's snarky remarks in the background. Obi-Wan's judgmental comments and Ahsoka's insults directed at Anakin. Key moments that always cracked a smile in Algora, but this time it didn't.

Carina clenched her jaw tightly as chills rippled through her body. The voices that constantly lingered in her mind grew louder the more she slipped out of consciousness. She didn't bother getting defensive as her door clicked open, the woman assumed it was another trooper going in to set her tray of food down.

Though, she had been mistaken. Familiar heavy breaths reached her ears— that being all she needed to know it was Darth Vader that had entered.

The Sith Lord paused in his steps, his eyes trailing over his wife's curled up figure. The male's hard expression fell slightly behind his mask, his concern for her only growing with how pale she looked.

Vader exhaled softly, attempting to form a sentence in his mind before going to speak it, "You haven't been eating."

Carina didn't budge from her spot, her eyes never faltering as she continued to ignore his presence just like she had before. Darth pursed his lips, he hadn't heard her speak to him since they had last saber fought. The male struggled to think of ways to get her to eat, at the point they were in he didn't care that she was ignoring him, but she needed to eat.

Vader glanced back at the tray of untouched food, he thought that if he stayed away she would let go of her stubbornness and simply eat, but he had been mistaken.

"The food is not poisoned if that's your concern." The male spoke, his tone being the same he always seemed to speak in.

Carina huffed slightly, sniffling as she tightened her grip on her knees. She didn't want any of what was happening to her, a part of her cursed herself for not staying out of this war.

In truth, Carina never wanted to have been with the Rebellion aiding them in their fight against the empire. She would've stayed on the planet she inhabited those twenty years, not paying a second thought to the war that she'd wanted nothing to do with.

But her children, her sweet Leia who was now one of their leaders and her daring Luke who fought for them. Only for her twins would she go to war once more.

Darth watched his wife carefully, "Are you trying to prove something, Carina?" The brunette clenched her jaw slightly, her annoyance growing with every passing moment the male stayed in her presence.

Vader went to take another step towards her when Carina suddenly softly croaked out, "Leave."

The Sith Lord stilled in his place, yet made no move to leave the room. The mother turned her head slightly, anger filling her expressive eyes, "Get out."

The woman's tone said it all. Vader backed away slightly, pausing his movements for a short moment before turning, the door clicking shut behind him as Carina was left alone in the room once more.

Algora's muscles eased, her shoulders going slack as soft breaths left her chapped lips.

"In some ways, you never do change."

Carina straightened up immediately at the voice, her chest heaving as she pulled herself out of her curled up position. The mother swung her legs over the edge of the bed, slowly standing up whilst ignoring the stars that appeared in her vision as a wave of dizziness hit her.

Algora pursed her trembling lips, "Obi-Wan?"

"I'm right here, Carina. You just need to open your eyes."

Carina knitted her brows together in confusion, eyes falling with exhaustion. The mother shut her eyes, attempting to clear her mind while ignoring her current pain. She exhaled slowly— calmly, her features loosening up while her hands unclenched themselves.

Carina reopened her eyes, taking a step back to see Obi-Wan standing before her, a blue hallow tint to him. Kenobi smiled at her, "There you are."

The brunette shook her head slightly, never taking her eyes off of the male, "How?" Obi-Wan folded his arms over his chest, "Learned it from Qui-Gon."

Carina's chest tightened at the name of the only man she ever saw as her father, "What?"

"You've been much alone, Carina. You and loneliness were never a good pair." Kenobi spoke truthfully, leaving Carina to drown herself in her thoughts never ended well.

Carina huffed slightly, shuffling on her feet as she moved to take a seat at the table where her tray of food laid, "Mhm, and where have you been these last two years?"

Obi-Wan sighed softly, "I've always been here, you just weren't ready to see." The brunette pinched the bridge of her nose, "You allowed yourself to die."

Kenobi intently watched the woman he spent almost his entire life with, "I knew what I had to do."

"You left me." Carina tipped her head up slightly, her eyes glossing over with tears threatening to spill, "You left me alone."

"Carina."

"You were the last person I had, the only one who truly knew me and who I was. You were the one person I couldn't lose." Carina kept her eyes on the table as she spoke, her fists clenching while she swallowed thickly.

Obi-Wan's gaze softened, knowing exactly what the brunette meant, "I am aware, Carina. But it was my time, I felt it, just as one day you will feel when it is your time."

Carina shook her head slightly, wincing quietly as the pain in her head only seemed to grow. Kenobi gave the mother a stern look, "There's no need to starve yourself to prove a point."

Algora narrowed her eyes, "I refuse to give them the satisfaction over anything." Obi-Wan pressed his lips firmly together, at the very least she still held a piece of her younger self.

"So starving yourself is the way you've decided to die? Your stubbornness overriding your rationality?"

Carina chewed the inside of her lip, huffing silently as she already saw where her brother was going with this. Kenobi tilted his head at her, "I'm not sure Luke will be overjoyed to find his mother dead after he spent much time working to rescue you."

The brunette lifted her eyes, watching Obi-Wan intently, "What?"

"Young Luke is very determined to save you from the clutches of the empire, especially after realizing you're his true mother."

Carina sucked in a sharp breath, a sad smile tugging on her lips, "He figured it out?" Kenobi gave her a firm nod, his eyes soft as he did so.

A breathless laugh escaped her parted lips, a single tear rolling down her cheek while her eyes fluttered closed. He knew, he finally knew.

Obi-Wan clasped his hands behind his back, "Luke and Leia need you to win this war, Carina. You know this— I know you do. They need their mother."

Carina shoved down a cry, a wave of emotions suddenly crashing down on her as she thought of her children. All she ever wanted was for them to need her but she never thought it'd happen since they grew up with others.

Her two beautiful twins for whom she would burn the world down to protect.

"You cannot win this alone."

Obi-Wan was right, a battle fought alone is a battle that is lost. Carina knew very well just how they could win this war, but not while Vader lived.

Kenobi hoped Carina would eventually realize who she needed by her side against Palpatine, and only she could bring him back.

―

AUTHORS NOTE,
the closer we get to finishing this book the more heartbreaking writing a chapter gets.