♈︎ ♉︎ ♊︎ ♋︎ ♌︎ ♍︎ ♎︎ ♏︎ ♐︎ ♑︎ ♒︎ ♓︎

A painful memory that couldn't let go,

revolving around the same place

♈︎ ♉︎ ♊︎ ♋︎ ♌︎ ♍︎ ♎︎ ♏︎ ♐︎ ♑︎ ♒︎ ♓︎

The next day, after another tedious class in library information science, you wish you were anywhere else. Your LIS professor's lengthy, monotone voice wished you to collapse and die of boredom and disinterest. Your mind is too clouded to concentrate fully.

You were drained, and shadowy circles surrounded your hazelnut-brown eyes. You were feeling out of your depth, and you knew it was because of your nemesis's altercation the day before. You awoke irritated and moody after having a dream about Namjoon. Nobody must have crossed your path. It felt as if your spirit had fled your body, and you spent the entire half-day at the campus tearing up.

You didn't even answer the cell phone when you got home from the library yesterday, and you didn't even bother to call back all day today. Friends' frantic text messages swamped your inbox. You could already hear profanities coming out of Ji-Hus' mouth, complaining profusely that you never answered your phone and that anything could've happened to you.

You weren't even hungry, so you skipped the cafeteria. He was seeing the college stud, Namjoon, and his overly adoring girlfriend from a distance, which aggravated and upset you even more. They appeared in good spirits, and she was radiant when her arms connected to his. His eyes were tender when he looked down on his girlfriend.

You were unashamedly but discretely watching them from the window of your third-floor lecture classroom. You cannot fathom why seeing them together wounded your heart so badly. Fortunately, the windows were tinted. Shaking your head swiftly, you attempt to chastise yourself for feeling gloomy and overly affected by the cheerful couple standing and laughing in front of a cherry blossom tree.

You forced your attention away from the window and forced yourself to focus on the subject.

"Ladies and gentlemen, that is all for today." You have thirty minutes to do whatever you want. Thank you for attending class at all. Please remember to complete the online quiz and submit it within three days. So don't rush. Take your time because it accounts for 25% of your overall grade..."Your professor drifted off. Are you not sorry to say that he lost you at "Ladies and gentlemen, that is all for today?"

You stare at your laptop screen with unfocused eyes, a faint grin forming at the corners of your mouth as you gaze at the lovely wallpaper of one of Seoul's beautiful palaces, but then you sigh profoundly and decide to work a little on your dreadful assignments.

It would have been much more intriguing if you hadn't had Namjoon as a peer mentor. Why, of all people, him?

You noticed nearly four new email notifications and reluctantly opened them to see if they were spam or those annoying promotions for acne skin care products that never work on any skin type. You received an email from the Postal Service office informing you that your delivery had arrived. It is a gift from your dear mother. She was particularly fond of sending you sweet snacks. Especially during test times, you secretly wish she had gotten you those pink and white fluffy onesie PJs. Then you noticed one from your public administration professor inviting you to come in and discuss your current grades on the last assignment you turned in three days ago.

Your heart quickens when you realize you've made enormous blunders in that paper. You were sick and sad three days ago after learning from your mother that your younger fifteen-year-old brother, Huyn, had lupus disease, and especially after your parents had a tumultuous and ugly divorce three years ago.

The ongoing conflicts over you and your sibling were exhausting. And that Flippen professor assumed you were making an excuse by submitting the assignment. You were so preoccupied with family and mental issues that you ultimately failed to complete your assignments on time. You barely had one day to complete the assignment and sent it in after the deadline.

Sometimes, you have the impression that life is conspiring against you. As a teen, you were never genuinely joyful. You were mercilessly bullied at school, and you wept every day to the point where you couldn't bear to leave the house. Your parents have chosen to let you complete the rest of your high school education online.

You just clicked your tongue and replied quickly, stating you'd see him after class the next day. It would be best if you took a breather. All you want is a little breathing space. Your eyes welled up with tears as you realized how empty your heart was at the time. Nothing seems to make sense in your life anymore. It seemed as if unseen anacondas were crushing and restricting your heart, preventing it from pumping life.

Another ping from your laptop snapped you out of your melancholy daydream. Your heart rate increased as you looked at the screen. You scoff when you see that it's a text from Mr. Kim Namjoon.

Arin, Hey, where do you want to meet? I'm available, and if you're available, we can go to the Seoul Museum and get a jump start on your research.

You furrowed your brow, knowing he had gotten your details from your history professor. You fought the impulse to text back immediately, not wanting to appear overly eager. Finally, you exhaled deeply and replied:

Sure... I suppose so. Let's meet in front of the museum, which is only twelve kilometres away.

You felt instant regret. Instead of appearing calm and carefree, you sounded annoyed and uninterested. Minutes felt like hours as you waited for the response. What's his issue?

How about I pick you up at the entrance and drive you there? It will be easier.

You sat frozen in place, unsure what to think or how to reply. Just seconds later, you hear another ping. You didn't even answer because you didn't want to be in such proximity to your enemy. 12 minutes in his company will be mental torture.

Sorry if it sounds strange; I don't want you to inconvenience yourself. An Uber will take some time, and I can securely drop you off at your dorm. We despise one another, but I'm just trying to be courteous. I don't have any hidden agendas, Arin.

Slumping into your chair, you could merely sigh deeply. You replied with a weird mix of relief and conflict. Perhaps going with him will not be so bad. There is no need to overpay for Uber.

K sounds excellent. If you don't mind, could you get me by at the dorm parking lot behind our ladies' dorm? I don't want us to be seen together.

You don't want to be the subject of rumours if others see you and Namjoon together at the entrance. You'll die of embarrassment, and you despise the fact that his girlfriend will come and harass you for trying to win him back. As if...

Oh, no worries. I'll see you at 1:30 p.m.

You respond.

Ok. See you soon.

You're wondering if Namjoon got it right when he obtained your entry tickets to the exhibition earlier. Even if the prospect of being in Namjoon's company for a few minutes reduced your joy at seeing the Joseon historical items, you couldn't help but feel a little flutter in your heart.

You dismissed it immediately, owing to your excitement at the exhibition and not being in Namjoons' presence.

Your eyes widened as you looked at the time on your brown leather-strapped wristwatch, a gift from your absent father. The time was 12:30 p.m. You have at least an hour to go and refresh yourself; perhaps change into jeans and get something warmer if the weather cools during the afternoon.

You took your laptop and slid it into the black laptop bag. Your brow furrowed when you noticed only a few students conversing in class. The professor had already left the lecture hall. You chose to leave through the rear doors and go to your dorm room.

Walk quickly along the cobblestone path to your dorm room. It was one of the campus's older dormitories. The new posh accommodation is beautiful but pricey, and your mother couldn't afford those exorbitant dorm fees. It contains communal swimming pools for each dorm section, a café serving gourmet foods, a gym, and a study/media centre.

Bong and Ji-Hu hail from wealthy families, each having space in the luxury dorms. Namjoon's girlfriend also has a private room. Ji-Hu occasionally ordered various culinary dishes for you to eat while you all hung out in their rooms. Everything was better in their dorms. But you never whined and were always satisfied with what you had.

You and Seo-Jun come from middle-class backgrounds. Seo-Jun, on the other hand, can afford many other luxuries. Her parents own a law practice in the city. Your mother must count all the Korean-won coins to feed all of you. Following her divorce, she is an administrator at a nearby animal clinic.

Your father runs a construction company; you haven't seen him in months. He enjoys a lavish lifestyle with his mistress, whom he married a year ago. They had a lovely beachfront villa in Busan. Your poor mother has to work extra hours because the money he pays for child support is insufficient to cover all of your expenses. You want to complete your studies, get an excellent salary, and move your mother and brother out of that gloomy apartment you've been renting for a few years. Perhaps you persuaded your family to relocate from South Korea to Japan or Europe.

Shivers go down your spine, and you wonder if it's your pessimistic outlook on life or your melancholy thoughts. The fresh breeze caressed your exposed skin as you closed your eyes.

Looking at your phone, you realized you hadn't called any of your friends back. You had your phone set to vibrate. You were about to put it back in your pocket when you heard your favourite singer's ringtone.

It was Seo-Jun.

You rolled your eyes, pushed the answer button, and inhaled.

Seo-Jun, "Oh my goodness, Arin! We were terrified. Why didn't you pick up the phone or text us back? We missed you at lunch.

You: Hey there, Seo. Please forgive me, girl. My phone was on charge, and I had a full half-day schedule.

Seo-Jun: Do you want to have an early dinner later? I came earlier to the dorm, and I was doing some laundry.

You: Maybe for breakfast tomorrow. I need to head out to do my research for my assignment. I'm going to the Seoul History Museum and might return by 5 p.m.

Seo-Jun: Okay, no worries. I'll call you when I get a chance.

Your stomach rumbles, and you realize you're hungry. Before meeting Namjoon, you dashed to the dorm cafeteria to grab a snack.

Later:

After a quick shower and dressing just in a white shirt and black skinny jeans with silver flats, you grab your black tote bag with your iPad to take some notes and perhaps have permission to capture some fantastic images for the assignment.

It was time to meet Namjoon behind the dorms by the large tree. A hidden parking spot was available, and you hoped that no one would spy on their rooms.

Your phone received a notification. It was Namjoon.

I'm here.

You hurried down the stairs, through the back sliding doors, and breathed a sigh of relief when you saw no one. A gleaming black Hyundai Verna was parked beneath a tree. Your gaze raced around, looking for any spies who could be following your moves. You sprint to the passenger door. Namjoon was stunned when he saw you frantically opening the door and hopping in. He became startled when he noticed you staring around in anxiety.

"And what had you so agitated? Is something following you?" he observed with curiosity in his eyes.

"No, just drive out quickly." You grimace, a heavy scowl on your brow. "I don't want anyone to see me with you."

You try to spit out the lump in your throat as you glance at him; he looks so fresh and handsome in a purple-blue shirt and charcoal-black pants. His skin was gleaming, and you already resent the fact that he seems to be happy while you continue to live a depressed life, unable to move on.

"Oh, really?" he said as he pulled out of the parking lot. You breathe a huge sigh of relief and lean back on the headrest.

You turned to him and said, "Yes, really!" with a sharp tone in your voice. "I despise gossipers."

Namjoon snorted, shaking his head a little saddened. "Oh, I thought it was just because it was me..." he trailed off faintly, but you could hear him.

"Not everything revolves around you, Namjoon," you comment sarcastically. You could see him clenching his jaws as his hands were tightly pressed on the steering wheel.

He gives you a fleeting look when he spots you staring out the window, observing the activity of the natural world.

"Arie... Arin, when will you let me off the hook?" he asks, clearing his throat. "Don't you think almost six years of animosity is far too long?"

"Until you confess and tell me straight why you did it to me?" You remark stiffly as you look coldly into his eyes from the front mirror. "Yeah, you never truly apologized."

Namjoon's face darkened, and his eyes got gloomy. "I tried to apologize, but you never accepted it."

"What the hell!" you ask, your eyes widening, looking at him with a deadpan expression, "Namjoon, you ignored me for two weeks after the incident occurred, and when I returned to university for my second year, you tried to apologize clumsily. Did you expect me to be so delighted and for everything to be sweet sprinkles?" Your voice cracked as you shook your head and gazed out the window. There was a brief moment of silence in the vehicle.

Namjoon sighed profoundly: "I know, and I was too embarrassed to approach you. I understand why you were so cold and hateful".

"Why don't you acknowledge that you were a coward then and you are a coward now?" You snort, rolling your eyes.

The agony was trying to reimage itself, but you forcefully suppressed it. You won't give him the satisfaction that being so close to him gave you.

"Arie...er... Arin?" After a time, you heard him softly utter your name. It was almost the same delicate tone he used to caress your name, but it was no longer fueled by care and love.

You pinched your brows and waved your palm at him, stating, "Just don't, Namjoon. I don't have the energy to listen to lousy excuses. Let's finish this day so you can do what you wanted to do in the first place.' You dismissed him quietly. Namjoon felt uneasy; sitting so close to Arin made him understand how severely he had wounded her with his actions. He can now legally state that he is hated by the only girl whose opinion matters.

He just couldn't come clean since he had no idea why he allowed it to happen in the first place. Why did he agree to begin with?

When he arrived at the Seoul Museum of History, he drove silently and parked in the designated spot. He couldn't bear looking at you because your expression was emotionless.

After telling you to stay put, he sighed and opened the door for you.

"Thank you," you said as you collected your totebag and stood on one side, waiting for him to lock the doors. You were drawn to the lovely art exhibit beside the small path, secure within the glass barrier.

"You're welcome," he murmured back. You watch his movements while silently following behind him.

He immediately paused, and you bumped straight into his back, wondering what was up with him as he abruptly turned around and came and stood right in front of you, forcing you to take a step back. You glance at him with fresh apprehension. Your breath caught in your throat as you gazed at his stunning appearance.

Namjoon sighs deeply as he stares down at you. You noticed a weird gleam in his eyes. Namjoon closed his eyes as if what he needed to say right then and there would cost him everything.

"Arin, you wanted to know why I did what I did?" He came to a halt as you watched him with your brow wrinkled. He glanced heavenward for strength, and with pursed lips, he peered down at you again. "My biggest mistake was falling in love with you." He squeezed the words out, pain in his eyes, as he abruptly turned his muscle back on you and walked swiftly towards the museum's main entrance, not waiting for a reaction.

The atmosphere was filled with stunned silence.

"What!" you gasped.

You had been frozen in place; your jaws dropped in shock.

A/n Thank you so much to everyone who gave this story a chance. I hope you enjoy the plot.

Please don't forget to vote, comment with your thoughts, or add them to your readers'list.

1. Do you think Arin will start forgiving Namjoon?

2. Do you think Namjoon still harbours feelings for Arin?

3. Do you think her family problems contributed to her dissatisfaction with life?