_____________________

I've traded
A moment's bliss
For the price of
Our happiness

_____________________

YEOSANG

Yeosang has sat down in one of the big leather chairs in the lobby, and he nervously rubs his hands against each other while staring at the door. Everything seems to be spinning around him, and he curses himself for having been drinking past his limit again. But it's too late to change that now.

While turning his head to look at the receptionists working so focused, on the computers at the front desk, it is like reality suddenly hits him. What is he doing? Why did he agree to go talk with Taeyong? What good could ever come out of them being alone again? And most importantly; will he be able to control himself? 

He's missed Taeyong so terribly much every day since their breakup, and seeing him tonight has been nothing less than overwhelming in every way. It surely had helped to have San by his side, but when Taeyong had brought Joy over, Yeosang's heart had been torn apart all over again. But how come Taeyong suddenly wanted to talk to him alone? Yeosang chews his lower lip while the thoughts are stumbling over each other inside his mind. But he isn't left alone with his thoughts for long...

"Yeosang?"

Yeosang turns in his seat, his eyes instantly captured by the one he used to love so much, and his heart skips a beat.

"Let's go?" Taeyong smiles softly, and Yeosang nods while getting up.

When Taeyong turns around to lead the way, Yeosang quickly runs a hand through his hair, making sure he looks as good as possible. But as his hand falls to his side again, he can't help but wonder why he even worries about such a thing.

As they walk side by side, Yeosang keeps peeking at Taeyong, but neither of them are saying anything. Taeyong still looks just as amazing as Yeosang remembered him, maybe even better. The blonde hair pushed back, the way it used to be, and the black suit fitting him perfectly as it probably was made just for him.

"You want to talk... Here?" Yeosang asks, skeptically looking around the private spa area he has been taken to.

"Yes?" Taeyong looks at him over the shoulder, "I had a really long flight, and I need to relax. Come, join me."

Yeosang watches in awe as Taeyong starts taking his clothes off right away, revealing the skin that Yeosang has been longing to feel against his own.

"Don't be shy, we've seen each other naked before," Taeyong laughs, slipping out of his underwear and getting into the hot tub.

Heat rises in Yeosang's cheeks, turning his face red and he has to look away to prevent himself from staring. Taeyong definitely still looks good, all of him. With his back turned towards his God-like ex, Yeosang starts undressing as well. He takes his time, neatly folding his clothes together, before putting it down onto the spa bed next to him, but he keeps his boxers on, unlike someone else in this room.

The water is burning hot when he steps down the stairs, and he makes sure to sit down in the corner opposite of Taeyong.

"So... What do you want to talk about?" Yeosang asks, running his fingers across the edge of the bubbling water.

"How have you been?"

"Fine. You?"

Yeosang shrugs his shoulders, not looking away from the water as he replies the shallow question. He knows Taeyong didn't take him here just to ask him how he is doing, and he starts to feel stupid that he even went with him.

"Honestly," Taeyong says, slowly getting closer, "I've been miserable."

The vulnerability in his voice makes Yeosang look up. Taeyong pushes his blonde hair back, with a wry smile, and the look in his eyes is showing something that Yeosang somehow hopes is actual, genuine sadness.

"I've missed you so much," Taeyong then says, now being so close that their legs are stroking against each other underneath the water, "I've been thinking so much about you, I was about to go insane."

With their eyes staring into each other, Taeyong leans in even closer, his fingers dancing lightly over Yeosang's jaw and down his neck. Their lips are right in front of each other now, Yeosang can feel the softness of them without actually touching them yet, but he wants to. The small voice in his head that tells him this is a bad idea, is slowly starting to fade as he tries to argue some sense into this strange situation.

"Tae... Taeyong, what are you doing..." Yeosang mumbles, his lips brushing against Taeyong's as he speaks. "W-we shouldn't do this..."

"Why not?" Taeyong asks, showing no intention of stopping, "Because of your boyfriend? Come on, Yeosang, don't tell me that guy can make you feel like I did?" Taeyong stares even deeper into Yeosang's eyes, and his voice turning deeper as well, "Don't tell me that guy can make you come like I could."

The hands touching Yeosang's skin are making his body tremble, despite the gentle touch, and he wants to push Taeyong away - to tell him to go to hell. But he can't. Looking into Taeyong's eyes is taking him back to when they were together, and Yeosang slowly forgets about being hurt, being left alone. He forgets about Taeyong's marriage and his horrible parents and all of their ridiculous rules. All he can think about is how amazing Taeyong looks, and how good he used to make him feel.

Taeyong tilts his head a bit, making their lips touch - not in an actual kiss yet, but it leaves Yeosang craving for more. He feels out of control of his own body, and the longing for Taeyong has soon completely taken over.

It's been more than a year since they last kissed, but when their lips finally meet again, it feels like it was just yesterday. Taeyong places his hands on Yeosang's hips, pulling him closer while their lips meet and part a couple of times.

"You okay?" Taeyong whispers, nuzzling his nose against Yeosang's.

"Y-yes..."

Yeosang wraps his arms around Taeyong's neck, pulling him into another, deeper kiss. As he part his lips to make Taeyong's tongue meet his own, a small moan escapes as well. Taeyong's hands have moved to Yeosang's thighs, slowly rubbing them, moving up higher and higher.

"T-Taeyong..." Yeosang softly moans, his eyes closed as he has given into the desire he has tried to keep down for so long.

"Yes?" Taeyong hums back against his lips, "Did you miss me too?"

"So, so much..."

Taeyong slips his tongue into Yeosang's mouth again, swirling it around, while his right hand is teasingly moving around at the elastic band of Yeosang's boxers. Being impatient by now, Yeosang whimpers into Taeyong's mouth, pushing himself closer to him at the same time, and he soon feels Taeyong's hands dragging the last remaining piece of clothing off him.

"Ah..." Yeosang breaks the kiss, and promptly sucks his lower lip in to bite into it, trying to hold back the deep moan that tries to escape from his throat.

The way Taeyong touches him is making him go crazy, gasping for more. Yeosang tilts his head back, eyes closed as he enjoys every second. Taeyong still knows to do it just right. Taeyong kisses him down the neck, bites it playfully before licking and sucking the shallow pain away.

When their lips meet again, the kiss is too heated and sloppy, and a mixture of saliva and water is running down Yeosang's chin, while their tongues connect once more. He runs his fingers through Taeyong's hair, messing up the perfect hairdo with his wet hand. As their bodies move around under the water, and their hard erections are stroking against each other, Yeosang closes his hand in Taeyong's hair, tugging it roughly and pulling Taeyong away from the kiss.

"I want you inside of me," Yeosang pants, his mind a complete, horny mess, "now."

Taeyong smirks when he hears Yeosang's impatient begging, slowly moving his hands onto Yeosang's back. Their lips connect again, while Taeyong moves his hand downwards.

A deep moan forces itself out between the kiss, and every muscle in Yeosang's body tense up when he feels Taeyong's fingers starting to play with him, stretching him out - the water making it easy for him.

Feeling as if he's going to lose his mind in this very moment, Yeosang breaks free from the kiss, his arms wrapped tightly around Taeyong's neck, as he clings onto him, while the stream of his moans keeps getting louder. He gasps for air, his lips trembling as Taeyong pushes another finger inside of him, playing with him the way he used to.

With his other hand, Taeyong wraps his fingers around both of their members that are swaying under the water. He moves his hand up and down, pumping both of them at the same time, rubbing them against each other, and Yeosang fears he might just come right now.

"Fuck, I've missed feeling you in my hand," Taeyong's voice has turned all raspy, as it runs through Yeosang's ear, "but I've missed fucking you even more."

"J-just do it then..." Yeosang replies through a small whine, completely lost in the moment and the touch he has missed so much. "Just fuck me, Taeyong... Please..."

Yeosang feels Taeyong's lips smile against his cheek, before the fingers are being pulled out and Taeyong grabs him by the hips to turn him around. Yeosang clings onto the edge of the hot tub with his hands, the hot steam around him making it even harder to breathe probably, but he doesn't care. All he wants is to feel Taeyong inside of him, just once more.

"A-ah..." Pinching his eyes together, Yeosang tries to swallow a moan when Taeyong pushes his fingers inside of him again, stretching him out even more while he plays with Yeosang's rock hard member with his other hand.

Within a second, Taeyong has replaced his fingers with his own hard cock, and Yeosang arches his body as it happens. The pain and pleasure blends together inside of him, and his vision is all messed up from the steam around him, and inside his mind.

A few slow thrusts later, Yeosang has adjusted his body enough for Taeyong to begin moving faster. Their bodies slam together, making water splash everywhere around them. Yeosang clenches his fingers around the edge of the tub, so hard the skin of his fingertips is turning pale. He closes his eyes, gasping at every thrust that gets deeper for each time. God, how he's missed having Taeyong behind him. Inside of him.

Taeyong's breath is warm and heavy against Yeosang's already burning skin. Hungry kisses and bites are placed all over his neck, while he can't hold himself back from moaning the other's name over and over again.

Yeosang has lost track of time, and of himself, the warm water is softening up his skin while Taeyong's hard thrusts are making his knees feel weak at the same time. His entire body is trembling from the pleasure running through it, and he struggles to hold himself up. He fails a couple of times, causing his face to hit the water, and the bitter taste of chlorine fills his mouth.

With a last deep, almost growling, moan he reaches his climax and his body finally gets its release. Taeyong closes his teeth around Yeosang's neck, biting into the sensitive skin that is now tickling from the euphoric rush, and a few hard thrusts later he finishes as well.

✧

While getting dressed, guilt has wrapped itself around Yeosang's brain. Despite how wonderful it had felt to have sex with Taeyong again, something suddenly feels off. And when he checks the time on his phone, he can't escape the reason why.

The photo San took of them before leaving lights up before his eyes, and his stomach turns when he looks at it. Yeosang curses himself, thinking he should just learn to use a photo of a flower, a cute cat or something else, instead of boys that steal his heart.

And he feels his heart drop when that exact thought runs through his mind. He hasn't realized this before, would never had dared to even think this thought. But now he knows.

Now he knows that he is in love with San.

But he has been the biggest idiot on Earth, and just had sex with another guy.

"I'll be in town for the next couple of days. I can make some time for you, if you want?" Taeyong asks, cupping Yeosang's cheeks before kissing him softly on the lips.

"I-I..." Yeosang stutters, taking a step backwards. "I don't think it's a good idea..."

"What? Why not?" Taeyong asks, his eyes falling to the phone in Yeosang's hands where the lock screen is still showing. "Because of him? Don't pretend you didn't just bring that guy here to make me jealous. I'm not an idiot, Yeosang. Well, it worked. You should feel happy."

"No! No, I am not happy! Y-you are married, Taeyong! What we did... It was wrong!" The words hurt to say out loud, and it makes Yeosang cringes when he forces himself to do it.

"So? It's all fake, baby, you know that."

"I... It doesn't matter. I have to go..." Yeosang throws the blazer over his shoulders and walks with rapid steps towards the door.

"You're leaving? Are you being serious right now? Don't tell me you really love that guy!"

"What do you even know about love?" Yeosang suddenly snaps angrily, stopping to look back at Taeyong with a furious glare.

"Wow... Yeosang, really?" 

"Yes... Really! I let my heart break right in front of you, and you didn't even seem to care! You just left me all alone!" Tears are clinging onto Yeosang's lashes, although he is more furious than sad.

"You don't think I cared? You don't think you hurt me too? I cried for weeks over you, Yeosang! I agreed to marry someone else, just so I could be with you, for crying out loud!"

"Don't you realize how fucked up that is? And you sure didn't waste any time with moving to New York and getting married right away," Yeosang forces the words through his gritted teeth.

"Are we seriously doing this right now? You know I had to do it! I had to, or I would have lost everything!"

"You wouldn't have lost me." Yeosang looks down at the floor, trying to fight more tears from coming but he can't. He squeezes his eyes closed, looking at Taeyong's face just hurts him even more.

"Don't do this, Yeosang. Don't try to make me the bad guy here. You knew about all this when we dated, it was in the agreement for God's sake!"

"Not when I first met you! If I had known before we started dating, I would never have agreed to go out with you. I don't... I didn't want agreements or the stupid contracts your family forced me to sign, or anything like that, Taeyong! I just wanted you to love me like I loved you... But you know what? Fuck this shit, it doesn't matter anymore!"

Yeosang turns around and storms out the door, angry with himself that he let himself give into Taeyong like that. When he reaches the event hall, he searches the room with his eyes, but San appears to have left. The guilt of having left him behind like that grows stronger, as Yeosang realizes that he has been gone for way too long by now. As he runs out of the hotel to search for a cab, his heart is in his throat.

He can't stop thinking about how San had played the part of his boyfriend so perfectly, and it has made Yeosang question if maybe, just maybe, San could actually feel something real for him as well. The look he had given Yeosang, the moment before he left to go meet Taeyong, is burning in his memory.

Yeosang knows that particular look, but he was too blind to realize it earlier. He has had that look in his eyes himself before, he knows that. The look of watching someone you like leave to be with someone else.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he shouts, frustratedly, making a couple passing by look at him in surprise. "You fucking idiot, Kang!"

✧

Every step up the stairs inside San's apartment complex feels like climbing a mountain, and Yeosang can't even breathe probably. But he knows it's not because of the stairs at all.

As he stands in front of San's door, he hesitates for a few seconds before finally knocking. What is he even going to say or do when the door opens? He has no clue at all, he just knew he had to go there. To apologize for ditching San earlier, at least.

Yeosang knocks on the door once more, but still no answer. Maybe San isn't at home yet. He decides to knock just one last time, a bit harder than the first two times, and finally he hears some noises on the other side.

"Yeosang?" San looks at him, surprised and a bit confused. His dark hair is all messed up, and he's only dressed in the royal blue suit pants, which somehow have been turned inside out.

"Hey... I'm sorry, I know it's late... Did I wake you?" Yeosang mumbles, his words cluttering together as he looks at San's gorgeous face. "I just... I need to talk to you..."

"No, no it's... It's fine I-..."

Yeosang briefly raises a brow. San seems so nervous, constantly looking over his shoulder, but Yeosang doesn't have to wonder for long.

"Babe, are you coming?" a bright female voice calls out behind San, and Yeosang catches a quick peek of her before she disappears back into the bedroom, her naked body barely covered by the white shirt San was wearing earlier.

"Oh..." Yeosang takes a step back, a knife slicing through his heart as he realizes what is going on inside the apartment.

"Yeosang, listen I..." San runs his fingers through his dark hair, searching for words, but unable to find any, and the silence between them is strange and uncomfortable.

It feels like forever, as they just look into each other's eyes, both of them hurt and ashamed. Yeosang swallows a lump in his throat, and San nervously shuffles his feet around while leaning against the doorframe.

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean to disturb you..." Yeosang finally manages to force out a quiet whisper, before turning around and running down the hallway, tears of regret welling up in his eyes, while his heart slowly breaks inside his chest.

____________________
♫ Julie - Moment's bliss

_________________________

A/N: thaaaaaank you for making this story hit 6K - that means SO much to me! This is probably the story I'm spending the most time working on, to make it as good as possible for you guys, so THANK YOU for the support <3

ALSO ... I absolutely LOVED reading all your comments on the last chapter! But I think I'll go hide now hahaha. Don't worry, a lot more drama is ahead ;D So yeah... Bai! *runs and hides*

(And for people wondering why it didn't take more for Yeosang to give in... Well, sometimes it's just like that, when it comes to an ex who's still special to you. Oops. Don't hate pls.)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST - REMEMBER TO ALWAYS USE PROTECTION WHEN HAVING SEX, MKAY? (Obviously, I didn't write it this time, and it is because it didn't fit into the whole hot tub scene. REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A STUPID FAN FICTION OKTHXBAI<3)