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And now I see the world
Through diamond eyes

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YEOSANG

Kang Yeosang used to think of himself as a happy person, an optimist, a hopeless romantic. The type of person that found joy in making other people smile, someone who'd always find something good and beautiful in the madness the world can be. He used to be curious, wondering, eager to learn more about life and its possibilities.

But something has happened to Yeosang. Things which have almost made him forget how it feels to just be happy.

To just be.

Instead of feeling like a sunny day, he feels gloomy like a rainy autumn evening where the trees are letting go of the last leaves. Just like he had to do with his hopes and dreams.

But deep inside of him there's still a small spark of who he used to be, and he isn't ready to give up completely.

Not yet.

Yeosang knows that after the rain, a rainbow will brighten up the sky with the most beautiful colors. And right now, he might be looking at his own potential rainbow.

It might not be what he had expected nor hoped it to be. But it is a start, a new start, and he is determined to make the best of it. Going back is simply not an option.

"Kang Yeosang?" A voice shouts over the loud music and a hesitant hand lays on Yeosang's shoulder.

"Yes?" Yeosang nods while doing his best not to get pushed around by the crowd of dancing people around him.

He has never been much of a night club kind of guy, and he briefly questions himself on why he even asked for this job. The loud music, the drunk people shoving him around and the warm, heavy air is enough for him to to almost leave. But he did in fact ask for this job himself. The guy in front of him is Kim Hongjoong, the owner of the night club and also one of Yeosang's cousin's very good friends.

Hongjoong smiles and gestures Yeosang to follow him. The two of them shove their way through the packed night club towards Hongjoong's office.

"Sorry for asking you to come in this late, I have been so busy these days," Hongjoong apologizes after he's closed the door and shut most of the music and noise out.

"Don't worry! I'm still pretty jet-lagged, so it's no problem at all! Doesn't feel late for me at all," Yeosang smiles politely. Hongjoong smiles back and opens his desk drawer to find the work-contract he's prepared for Yeosang to sign.

"Ah, here it is! Read it through and if everything is alright just sign it. Otherwise, let me know if you have any questions."

Yeosang nods and carefully reads through the work contract in front of him. When he's done he signs it right away and hands it back. It's not like Yeosang actually needs this job, but he wants it to prove he can take care of himself. Also, he needs something to distract his busy mind from other things.

"Alright. As we agreed, your first shift is on Wednesday. Usually it's a less busy day so you should be fine. This other bartender, San, will help you with anything you need." Hongjoong walks towards the door while talking, and Yeosang follows him as he takes it as they are done here.

"It's that guy over there," Hongjoong says and points towards at a dark-haired guy working behind the bar, "but be aware that his attitude can be rather... Challenging. I've heard so many good things about you from your cousin and your former boss in London, so I'm sure you can handle him. And probably teach him a thing or two about being humble."

Hongjoong's last words just flow together into a mumble in Yeosang's ears while he just stares at the gorgeous bartender. His face is nothing less than absolutely breath-taking and just the mere sight of him causes Yeosang's heart to skip a beat.

✧

It's getting quite late when Yeosang is back in his apartment, restlessly lying on his bed and just staring up at the white ceiling. He's only been in Seoul for couple of days, and has spent the last days on getting settled in the apartment. It's small, very, very small compared to where he lived before. His mother nearly had a heart attack when he had sent her photos of the place, and she was trying her best to convince him to let her and his dad buy him a nicer place. But Yeosang doesn't want that. He wants to make it on his own, and he actually feels more comfortable in smaller places.

It feels like a knife in his heart when he checks the time on his phone, and the lock-screen photo lights up before his eyes. He knows he should change it; he's been telling himself that every day for eight months now. But he just can't get himself to do it; as if changing it will be the last part of letting go and he isn't sure if he's ready for that.

Yeosang keeps staring at the photo, tracing it with his eyes, re-living the happiest moment of his life which is now making him feel miserable and alone. How he wishes he could just go back to that day, back to being happy, being in love. Back to being loved.

With a sigh he throws the phone next to him on the bed. Now he is more alone than ever, but it was his own decision to move to the other side of the Earth. Was it a drastic and dramatic thing to do? Yes, definitely. But was it necessary? Also yes. Still, it had been the hardest thing ever to break the news to his family and his friends, to see how sad they all were. Having to get his studies transferred too. Well, his father helped him with that, his father has always been better at the practical stuff compared to the emotional ones. His mother on the other hand had been bawling her eyes out for days.

"It's going to be okay, Yeosang," he mumbles to himself, still staring at the ceiling, "you're a Kang, you can do anything you set your mind to!" he adds, remembering the endless amount of times his father has said those words to him, with a firm hand on his shoulder.

When he checks the time on his phone again, and sees the smile that used to make him so happy, he knows it was the right choice. It was tearing him apart having to drive by that place everyday on his way to classes. The place they had bought together, the one they had promised each other to start their life in. Together.

The one he was left heartbroken and alone in.

Suddenly he remembers the beautiful bartender he saw earlier. Was his name San? Yeosang has only ever seen one person as gorgeous as San, and that person ended up breaking his heart in a million pieces. 

Not that he would ever get a chance with someone like San, who obviously is very straight and very popular with the ladies. Even from only watching him for a short minute, it was very clear to Yeosang that that guy would never look his way.

His thoughts are being disturbed by his phone buzzing on the bed where he threw it earlier, and he sighs thinking it's his mother calling again to make sure he isn't catching any illness from his new home.

A smile spreads on his lips when he sees it's his best friend Wendy who is calling to Face Time him.

"Sangie? Sorry, did I wake you up? I think I messed up the time difference!" Her bright, familiar voice goes straight to Yeosang's heart and he feels much more relaxed already.

He and Wendy have been friends for many years by now, their families always going to the same Country Club and such back in London. Assuring her that he was already awake and he has happy to talk to her again their conversation just starts flowing ever so easily. Wendy is always busy travelling the world and she had just left for Paris when Yeosang had to leave for Korea. When asking her how her Paris trip is going, Wendy suddenly seems rather hesitant.

"Good. I'm... in New York now though..." she mumbles.

"N-New York? Oh. Why?"

It might just be the name of a city, but to Yeosang that place holds a way deeper meaning. One he would rather be without, and he feels a slight pinch in his heart when he has to speak the name out loud.

"Because of Fashion Week? Duh? But it's not the same without you! I miss you so much, Fashion Week was our thing!" she pouts making Yeosang smile again.

"Oh... Of course. I miss you too. Wish I could be... there."

"Can't you just come over for a few days? I'll be here for another week, for shopping you know. It'd be so fun! You and I, in New York together. It's been so long!"

"I-I can't... Sorry, Wendy."

"Why? Oh... Don't... tell me... It's because of..."

"No-no! It's not. I just... I got a job and I'm starting in a few days so..." Yeosang clears his throat.

Wendy glares at him from the screen of his phone, not quite believing him. But she just nods, causing her long, sparkling earrings to jingle around. She suddenly stops, just to send him another glare.

"Wait. A... job? But... Why? It's not like you need it. Yeosang... Did something happen? Did you parents close your trust fund?"

Yeosang can't help but chuckle at her question, and the almost distressed look on her face.

"What? No, it's not like that... But you know I like staying busy! It's at a bar, well, a night club so it's almost like when I lived in London. Except you're too far away to come by and get drunk every day," Yeosang laughs.

"Okay the only part I got from that was 'get drunk every day', so... Oh, Yeosang, I'm sorry I have to go! I have to get ready for dinner with Jaehyun tonight." Wendy moves the phone around indicating that she is getting up from her seat. She instantly stops when she realizes what she just said and just keeps staring right next to her phone and not directly at it.

"Oh... You're still seeing him? How are things with you two?" The question is forced and Yeosang is doing his damn best to sound happy when the words leave his lips.

"We're good, thanks. I... I'm sorry I didn't..."

"Wendy. Please, it's fine. It's just... You know... I-I have to ask... Have you seen himwhile you've been in New York then?"

"Well... He's Jaehyun's cousin so... Yeah... We... had lunch with him yesterday, actually."

Yeosang nods slowly, locking all the burning questions he knows he shouldn't ask deep inside of him. Even if he let them out it wouldn't change anything anyway.

The two friends finish off their conversation with Wendy reminding Yeosang to stay healthy, focus on himself, finding happiness and not let anyone treat him badly in any way.

"If anyone mistreats you, pull out that sass I know you've got inside of you! Talk soon, okay? Love you!" Wendy blows a kiss before hanging up.

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♫ Shinedown - Diamond eyes